Let me come to Thee again, dear Father, and do not reject my prayer.
Forgive me for what I shall do to-night. Take care of my little Marjorie
and save her from the temptations that have overwhelmed me. Thou alone
knowest how hard I have tried to live without love, how long I have
waited for John to come back to me. Thou only hast seen me struggling
against the long loneliness. Thou alone canst forgive, for Thou hast
seen me refuse to be tempted with love. Thou hast heard my cries in the
long, long nights. Thou knowest that I have been true to my husband who
was not true to me. Thou hast seen me put away the happiness that Frank
has offered me and asked of me. And now if I can endure no longer, if I
give myself to him, more for his sake than mine, let me bear the
punishment, not Frank; let me bear even the punishment John has earned.
I am what Thou hast made me, Lord. If it be Thy pleasure that I shall
burn in the fires forever, then let Thy will be done; for I can live no
longer without Frank. Thou mayest refuse to hear my prayers, but I
cannot refuse to hear his. Forgive me if I leave my beloved child alone.
She is safer with Thee than with me. Perhaps her father will be good to
her now. Perhaps he will turn back to her if I am away. And help me
through the coming years to be true to Frank. He needs me, he loves me,
he is braving the wrath of the world and of heaven for my sake.
Help us, Lord, to find in our new life the peace and the virtue that was
not in the old and bless and guard my motherless little Marjorie, O God,
and save her from the fate that overwhelmed her mother for her father's
fault. I am leaving her asleep here in Thy charge, O God. When she wakes
in the morning let Thy angels comfort her and dry her tears. Let me not
hear her crying for me, or I shall kill myself. I cannot bear
everything. I have endured more than my strength can endure. Help me, O
Lord, and forgive me for my sin--if sin it is. Amen.