AFTERNOON "AT HOMES"
=Afternoon "At Homes"= are a great feature amongst the entertainments of
the day, large afternoon parties, and small afternoon parties; parties
so large that the number of guests equals those at a big crush or
evening reception, and so small that they might fairly come under the
denomination of afternoon teas.
At afternoon "at homes," ladies are present in a considerable majority,
there being usually from about ten gentlemen to thirty ladies on an
average present at these gatherings. Ladies have a decided partiality
for this class of entertainment, as it affords an opportunity for
meeting their friends and acquaintances, or for making new
acquaintances, and for forming future plans and interchanging
civilities; and even in the height of the London season, afternoon "at
homes" are fully attended by the members of the fashionable world.
There are various classes of afternoon "at homes": the large "at home"
of from fifty to two hundred guests, when usually professional vocal and
instrumental talent is engaged, and fairly good music given, although
the entertainment is not of sufficient importance to be termed a
concert; the "at home" of from fifty to a hundred guests when only
amateur talent is in requisition; and the small "at home" of from ten to
thirty people, when conversation usually takes the place of music, the
party being composed of friends rather than of acquaintances.
* * * * *
=Invitations to "At Homes"= should be issued in the name of the
hostess only, and not in the united names of the master and mistress
of the house.
Invitations should be issued on "at home" cards, large and small, and
also on visiting cards. The name of the person invited should be written
at the top of the card at the right-hand corner, the words "at home"
being printed beneath the name of the lady issuing the invitation, and
the day and date beneath the words "at home," and the hour beneath the
date. Any amusement to be given should be added at the bottom of the
card at the left-hand corner. The address should be printed at the
right-hand corner at the bottom of the card.
The letters R.S.V.P. are occasionally either written or printed on the
"at home" card, at the left-hand corner of the bottom of the card, but
it is not usual to write "R.S.V.P." in the corner of an afternoon "at
home" card, as it is immaterial how many guests are present at this
class of entertainment; but if an answer is so requested, an answer
should be sent. R.S.V.P. signifies "_repondez, s'il vous plait_," or "an
answer is requested."
It is customary to include the head of the family, either husband or
father, in the invitation. Thus, at the top of the card, at the
right-hand corner should be written "Mr. and Mrs. A.," or "Mr. and Miss
A." The daughters of the house should be included in the invitation sent
to their mother. Thus "Mr. and Mrs. A.," "The Misses A.," but the sons
of the house should be invited separately.
When a family consists of a mother and daughters, the invitation should
be "Mrs. and the Misses A."
The title of "Honourable" should not be put on an invitation card, but
only on the envelope containing the card.
All other titles are recognised on invitation cards; but the letters
K.C.B., M.P., etc., should not be written on the cards, but only on the
envelopes in which they are enclosed.
If a lady is aware that she will be unable to be present, it would be
polite to send her excuses, although strict etiquette does not demand
it; both the invitation and the answer can in all cases be sent by post.
It is not now considered necessary to leave cards after afternoon
"at homes."
Invitations to large afternoon "at homes" should be issued a fortnight
previous to the day, and to small "at homes" within a week or so of
the day.
* * * * *
=The Arrival of Guests.=--When invited guests arrive, they should not
inquire if the hostess is at home, but at once enter the house; and they
should be ushered at once into the tea-room.
The gentlemen should leave their hats and overcoats in the hall.
At large "at homes" a cloak-room should be provided, so that a lady
could remove a cloak or fur-cape, usually worn during the winter
weather; but at small "at homes" a cloak-room is not necessary, as the
reception-rooms are neither so crowded nor so warm, neither are the
ladies' toilettes so elaborate.
* * * * *
=Refreshments.=--At large "at homes" refreshments should be served in
the dining-room, on a long buffet at one end of the room, or on a long
table the length of the room.
The lady's-maids and other maid-servants should stand behind the table
to pour out and hand the cups of tea or coffee across the table as
asked for.
It is usual to have women-servants on these occasions to pour out the
tea, a man-servant or men-servants being also in attendance, in case
anything is required of them, although gentlemen usually help themselves
to claret-cup, wine, etc.
The usual refreshments given at these "at homes" are tea and coffee,
the latter served from large silver urns. (See chapter "Preparing
Afternoon Tea," in the work entitled "Waiting at Table.") Sherry,
champagne-cup, claret-cup, ices, fruit, fancy biscuits and cakes, thin
bread-and-butter, potted game, sandwiches, etc.
Ice plates are used for ices, dessert plates for fruit and fruit salads.
At small "at homes" champagne, claret-cup, and ices are not given. The
tea should be made in teapots, instead of in urns, at both large and
small "at homes."
At small "at homes" the tea is usually served in the smaller of the two
drawing-rooms, or in an adjoining boudoir or ante-room. The tea is then
poured out by the young ladies of the house, or by the hostess herself,
but seldom by maid-servants when served in the drawing-room.
The most convenient manner, however, of serving tea is to serve it in
the dining-room, unless the number of guests is limited, when it would
appear unsociable if they were to congregate in the dining-room, leaving
the hostess comparatively alone in the drawing-room.
When tea is served in the dining-room, the guests are usually asked by
the servant in attendance if they will have tea before being ushered
into the drawing-room.
At small teas, the cups of tea should be handed to the ladies by the
gentlemen present, or by the young lady officiating at the tea-table,
and gentlemen generally stand about the room, or near the tea-table, at
small "at homes."
* * * * *
=Receiving Guests.=--The servant should precede the guests to the
drawing-room as in "morning calls."
At large "at homes" the hostess should receive her guests at the
drawing-room door, and shake hands with each on arrival. The
drawing-room door should remain open, and she should stand within the
doorway.
At small teas, the drawing-room door should not remain open, and the
hostess should receive her guests within the room, as at "morning
calls."
The guests should arrive from a quarter-past four until half-past five
or six o'clock. The guests are not expected to remain the whole three
hours specified, and are at liberty to remain as long or as short a time
as they please. The earliest arrivals are generally the first to leave.
When the hostess judges it expedient to do so, she introduces one or two
of the ladies to each other, either in a formal manner (see Chapter
II.), or in a semi-formal manner, by saying, "Mrs. A., I don't think you
know Mrs. B."; but she should not say this unless quite certain that
Mrs. B. desires the acquaintance of Mrs. A., or that Mrs. A. has no
objection to knowing Mrs. B.[5]
It is rather the exception than the rule to make general introductions
on these occasions. Introductions should only be made when the hostess
is aware that the persons introduced would be likely to appreciate each
other, or for any reason of equal weight.
The guests should go to the tea-room with any gentlemen of their
acquaintance present, or in the case of ladies with each other, if they
have not done so on arrival.
This move to the tea-room is usually made in the intervals between
music, recitations, etc.
Occasionally, the hostess introduces one or two of the gentlemen present
to the ladies of highest rank for the purpose of sending them into the
tea-room.
A lady should place her empty cup on any table near at hand, unless a
gentleman offers to put it down for her. It is optional whether a lady
removes her gloves or not, and many prefer not to do so.
At large "at homes," the hostess remains at her post the whole of the
time, and hardly ever sits down. At small "at homes," she should move
amongst her guests, conversing with them all more or less. When there
are daughters, they should assist their mother in entertaining the
guests.
When ladies are acquainted, they should take an opportunity of speaking
to each other. It is usual for ladies to move about the rooms at
afternoon "at homes" to speak to their various friends and
acquaintances; and they are by no means obliged to remain seated in one
spot unless desirous of doing so.
When music is given at afternoon "at homes," it is usual to listen to
the performance, or at least to appear to do so; and if conversation is
carried on, it should be in a low tone, so as not to disturb or annoy
the performers.
It is not necessary to take leave of the hostess at afternoon "at
homes," unless she is standing near the drawing-room door when the guest
is passing out, or unless she is a new acquaintance, and the visit a
first one at her house, when it would be polite to do so.
When it is late, and but a few guests still remain, these few should
make their adieus to the hostess.
At these afternoon teas or "at homes," the hostess should not ring to
order the door to be opened for the departing guest or for her motor-car
to be called, as at "morning calls." The guests make their way to the
hall, and the servants in attendance call up the motor-cars as they are
asked for.
Motor-cars should always be kept in waiting at afternoon "at homes," as
ladies are sometimes unable to remain longer than a quarter of an hour.
The guests either remain in the hall or in the dining-room until they
hear their motor-cars are announced.
* * * * *
=Gratuities= should never be offered to servants at these
entertainments, or, in fact, at any entertainment whatever.
* * * * *
=Afternoon Concerts.=--When afternoon concerts are given, invitations
should be issued on the usual "at home" cards, which can be purchased
with the words "at home," etc., already printed, or they are printed to
order, with the name and address of the hostess. The name of the person
invited should be written above the name of the hostess at the
right-hand corner of the card.
The date under the line "at home" should be in the centre of the card
beneath the name of the hostess; the hour should be written at the
left-hand corner, and the letters R.S.V.P. The printed address should be
at the right-hand corner.
The names of the performers should be added at the bottom of the card at
the right-hand corner.
The hour usually fixed for a concert is 3 o'clock.
The hostess should receive her guests at the drawing-room door, when
they should at once seat themselves. The seats should be arranged in
rows down the centre of the room, and sofas and settees should be placed
around the room.
The programme of a concert is divided into two parts, and at the
conclusion of the first part the guests should repair to the dining-room
for refreshments, which are served as at large "at homes."
* * * * *
=Afternoon Dances.=--Invitations to afternoon dances should be issued on
"at home" cards in the manner already described. "Dancing" should be
printed in the corner of cards, and the hour of "4 to 7" o'clock
substituted for that of "3" o'clock. The words "afternoon dance" should
not be written on an invitation card, and there is no other received
form of invitation for afternoon dances than the one already given.
Afternoon dances are very popular at watering-places, military stations,
small towns in the vicinity of London, etc., but are seldom given in
London itself.
Refreshments should be served during the whole of the afternoon, from 4
to 7, as at large "at homes."
The ladies should remove their jackets or wraps in the cloak-room, but
retain their hats or bonnets; the hostess should receive her guests at
the drawing-room door, as at an afternoon "at home."
* * * * *
=Bridge Teas= occupy an important place in social life. They are a
convenient form of entertainment, as they allow of a small number of
guests being invited, even as few as eight persons being considered a
reasonable number of players to invite, while twenty-four is distinctly
an outside one. The average number is in most instances sixteen,
all told.
The play usually commences at 3.30, sometimes earlier, and continues
until 7.30, allowing an interval for "tea" at 4.30.
The invitations to these informal gatherings are either issued in
friendly notes or on visiting cards. If on the latter, the words "at
home," day, and date are written under the name of the hostess, while
"Bridge, 3.30," or "3 o'clock" is put in the corner of the cards
opposite the address.
The hostess arranges beforehand the places the guests are to occupy at
the different tables; this is done that the good players may play
together. When all have arrived, the hostess tells her guests where to
sit, and is herself one of the players. On taking their seats they cut
for partners. She does not invite guests to look on, as it would
necessitate her not playing, but talking to them while they remain;
besides conversation is discouraged, as it distracts the attention of
the players from the game.
The ladies retain their hats, but remove their coats, furs, etc.,
on arrival.
FOOTNOTES:
[5] See chapter "Conversing with New Acquaintances," in the work
entitled "The Art of Conversing."