DEAR MR. PUNCH,--The Military Exhibition was such a success, and
the Naval Exhibition was such a successor, that we Government Clerks
invoke your powerful aid to help us to establish next year a Civil
Service Exhibition. The Public have really no idea what wondrous
curiosities there are in the Civil Service, and would, I feel sure,
be amused and instructed at a well-organised and representative
Exhibition. At 10.15 A.M. they would see real live Clerks sign real
Attendance-Books, and insert (real or unreal) times of arrival. In the
course of the morning there might be an Exhibition of Civil Servants
over sixty-five years of age, who didn't want to retire, with a
similar number of Civil Servants, of fifty-five years of age, who
didn't want them to stay. In the afternoon, in the Arena, would daily
be attempted the difficult feat of proceeding from the Second Division
to the Higher Division. The obstacles would be represented by real
Treasury Clerks and Civil Service Commissioners, holding Orders in
Council and Treasury Minutes; and the Clerk successful in performing
the feat might be created a Duke.
In one of the kiosks a lecture on _"Sick Leave and how to spend it,"
by the Earl and the Doctor_, might be delivered hourly. In another
kiosk, official C.B.'s would be on show; Jubilee C.B.'s being classed
together on one side, and special prominence being given to those
C.B.'s who hadn't applied for the honour, and to those who had
obtained it for real services otherwise unrecognised. After dark the
"Treasury Ring" might join hands and dance round the flashing light of
their own unassisted intellect.
The different refreshment rooms (furnished by the Office of Works)
would be classified according to the varying rates of Subsistence
Allowance in force in the Service. Here the dinner for the £1-a-day
man--there the tea for the 10s.-a-day man. Special luncheon rates
for those not absent from home at night, but absent for more than ten
hours.
Visitors might be searched on arrival and departure by real Custom
House Officers. This would be sure to make it popular. Please, dear
_Mr. Punch_, do help us. Yours, &c.,