I grew up selfish, full of hopes and cares,
For my own welfare, unconcerned for theirs--
With many different feelings, Mrs. Villars' return, with her niece, was
expected in Bath, by her family--jealousy is, indeed, "strong as death,"
and uncertain and wayward in its effects--Caroline had, with unfeminine
obstinacy, determined on becoming mistress of Aston Manor and its owner;
and every object that came in her way, was regarded with dislike. She
had heard from Lucy, of Mabel's beauty and winning manners; and such
beauty, in distress, she fancied more dangerous still. What her mother
could be thinking of to bring her to Bath she could not imagine! but it
was in vain for her to write an angry appeal: the answer was decisive.
"Mabel must come," the letter said, "and," added Mrs. Villars, "my Cary
must make preparation for her proper accommodation; but should you
object to our giving up the spare room to her, which certainly would be
a sacrifice, you must fit her up a room somewhere, as well as you
can--she must not be particular; still, as she is dependent on us, I
should not like to stint my favors exactly, though, perhaps, she ought
to take rather a more humble footing than my own dear girls." Caroline
well understood this letter, and acted accordingly. She knew that her
mother's generous fit was passing, and that she was preparing to be more
worldly wise.
On the evening of Mrs. Villars' expected return, Hargrave was sitting in
his study, lost in something very like a reverie, when he was roused by
a low tap at his door. Hastily taking up his pen, to assume the
appearance of occupation, he gave the customary answer of "Come in,"
and Caroline entered.
"Henry," said she, with a persuasive smile, "you must come and join our
party in the drawing-room. We have a beautiful fire, and everything
comfortable--so do come."
"Why to-night particularly?"
"Because we are all waiting to see mamma, and our wonderful cousin, and
we want you to amuse the time away."
"Very well," said Hargrave, rising, and slowly closing his desk--putting
aside a private paper or two from the table, which was covered with
maps, architectural plans, ground measurements, and books.
"Really," pursued Caroline, glancing round the room, "you study too
much. How very pale you look--lock up this dry room, and give me the
key, you shall have it again in a day or two."
"Dry," repeated Hargrave, with a smile, taking up one paper after
another, as if with peculiar affection, "dry--ah, that reminds me I
have a question to ask your papa on this subject."
"Now, you tease, you shall not go to that tiresome study to-night; we
want you, and you must come with me."
So saying, she passed her hand playfully through his arm, and compelled
him to accompany her to the drawing-room.
The girls were all seated round a cheerful fire; but, there were two
chairs left vacant, side by side. Hargrave, however, evaded this
manoeuvre by flinging himself, with all the coolness of accustomed
indulgence, at full length upon the sofa, with his head supported by his
two hands, and his eyes shut, as if in full preparation for a nap.
"Provoking creature," cried Caroline, "I did not bring you here to go to
sleep."
"Pray do not let me disturb you," he replied, yawning; "I am listening."
"Now, Harry, you know that it is only because we all spoil you that you
give yourself such airs; but do not think going to sleep a good way to
preserve your popularity."
"I am not conscious of any diminution in it," returned the imperturbable
Hargrave; "but here I am at your service," he added, slowly rising to a
sitting posture.
One great source of amusement consisted in watching his caprices, and
reporting his humour, as it varied.
"Are they not late?" he enquired, at length, when a carriage rolled down
the street, causing a momentary expectation, but stopped not till its
murmuring sound died in the distance, or was hushed by the wind, as it
rushed round the corners of the streets.
"It is a long cross road, I think," said Caroline, "but I hope they will
be here soon, for I am tired of waiting."
"How freezingly cold," said Hargrave.
"Yes, indeed;" said Maria, "the water is frozen in the rooms up-stairs,
and there are long, horrid icicles hanging down the windows, and it is
snowing out of doors. I really cannot bear to cross the passages, and I
cannot think how people can be out to-night, when they may stay at
home."
"I think," said Selina, "it is a great pity for any one to die in the
winter--just in the midst of the gay season. Only think, but for this
crape, we might be at Mrs. Trelawny's party this evening. It makes one's
heart ache to hear the carriages go by--ah, there is another, I declare.
Black is so unbecoming, too," said she, glancing at the tiny foot which
peeped out from the black folds of her dress.
"Now I am sure," said Maria, "you are only asking for a compliment, when
you know nothing suits a fair complexion so well as black. Now I, with
my tawny skin, might complain, had I not long ago given up the attempt
to look fascinating, and depended more on my tongue than my face; but
still I do wish that this piece of perfection had retained possession of
her Cotswold air, and left us to ourselves. Mamma is a clever woman--as
if she had not girls enough to drag after her, and provide husbands
for."
An angry cry of "shame" ran round the circle; but Maria, catching a half
smile from Hargrave, laughed merrily in reply.
"Only think," she went on, "we must put on long faces for a fortnight,
at least, in sympathy for the death of an old lady, we did not care a
straw about; but, at least, I am no hypocrite, and that she will find--I
shall not pretend to admire perfections who look down on every one
else."
"That I am sure she does not," said Lucy. "Ah, that's the thing, she is
better than ordinary perfections even--but here's papa."
Mr. Villars here entered the room.
"Oh, papa," cried Caroline, pettishly, "I wish you would not leave the
door open."
Mr. Villars quietly shut it--but the request jarred upon his
feelings--there was something, too, in the arrangement of the chairs,
which did not offer any considerable inducement to him to remain. He
was sure to put a check upon conversation, usually of the most frivolous
kind, and, therefore, his presence was not often desired by his
daughters, though his mild, indulgent eye seemed often almost to entreat
the affection which was so coldly and grudgingly bestowed, while too
sensitive to command the attention which was his due.
Solitude had become irksome to him, and he had now come to seek for some
one to share in a new idea, which had for some hours occupied his pen.
He paused, for a moment, before the little circle--but no one rose to
offer him a seat.
Hargrave's eyes were fixed upon the fire, seemingly forgetful of all
around him. Caroline was regarding him. She was never susceptible to any
interest in her father's proceedings, so that he did not attempt to gain
her attention; but, addressing Selina, who seemed the least amused of
the party--he said, smiling kindly, but timidly--
"I want a little advice--I have been trying all day to write a letter
to the _Times_, giving my views on the present system of education at
the Universities, showing how much time is wasted on the dead languages,
which might be given to philosophy and science."
"Oh, really, papa," said Selina, with a half yawn to the subject, "I am
so ignorant--I am sure I cannot help you."
"Oh, yes," he replied, gently; "you think less of yourself than you
need--I shall be glad of your opinion. Come--"
"Oh, no, papa, I would much rather not."
"My little Lucy will come then."
"I would," she replied, "very gladly, only I am so anxious to see
mamma."
"Come, Maria, then, I really cannot get on without a little
admiration--and I do not expect them for an hour or two."
"I would if I understood anything about it," said Maria, "I dare say the
letter will do beautifully."
"I will come, sir, if I may," cried Hargrave, starting up, on seeing
Mr. Villars leaving the room with a dejected air.
But the hall bell stopped both of them. Lucy sprang to the door, but
suddenly stopped, and turned pale, and shrunk instinctively, remembering
the impossibility of her being a welcome object to Mabel.
Mrs. Villars was now heard coming up-stairs, giving orders to the
servants, as she did so. Her voice became more distinct, as she
approached the room, and entered, followed by the dark, black figure of
her orphan niece. She presented her to her daughters in turn, who each
gave her a hand rather in curiosity than kindness. Lucy, unable to
remain longer inactive, advanced with the impulse of throwing her arms
round her neck, but feeling checked by the presence of her sisters, she
only kissed her with a shy timidity, which very little expressed the
real warmth of her welcome.
"Welcome, my poor child," said the kind and fatherly voice of Mr.
Villars, to the silent girl, "you will find here, I hope, kind
companions, and a comfortable home."
Mabel gently raised the heavy veil, which had completely shrouded her
face, and seemed almost to bow down her head, and, as she did so,
displayed a countenance, which the beautiful and haughty Caroline
regarded with triumph and satisfaction. Tears stained her colorless
cheeks, and grief and watching were deeply marked in her sunken eyes.
There was no affectation of suffering there; but, as she looked up in
reply to Mr. Villars, a light ray passed over her countenance, and at
once spoke the loveliness which no sorrow could darken. She tried to
speak, but her parted lips refused to utter expressions of feeling,
which her eloquent eyes had already conveyed.
"You will now," said her aunt, pompously, "have an opportunity of
thanking Colonel Hargrave for the hospitality he has afforded you."
But Colonel Hargrave was gone. No one had seen him leave the room; but
when his absence was perceived, Caroline felt a sensation of pleasure
she could not account for, and, in great, good humour, turned to assist
Mabel in relieving herself of the heavy cloak which encumbered her; she
then perceived that she was trembling with cold and agitation--and when
she begged leave to retire for the night, every one saw that there was
necessity for repose to soothe her spirits.
Maria, whose good nature was, at times, greater than she would
acknowledge, almost forced her to swallow the wine she had declined.
Mrs. Villars, taking a light, requested Mabel to follow her, with
stately kindness.
The drawing-room they left was on the second floor, and yet she led her
up two flights of stairs, and then across a narrow passage, before she
stopped at the door of the room destined for her.
"My house is so very crowded," Mrs. Villars said, apologetically, "that
I am obliged to put you up here; but it will be a little home to you,
and you must make yourself snug and comfortable. Oh, those naughty girls
have forgotten to put you a chest of drawers; but you must contrive for
a day or two, and I will see to it."
Possibly she forgot; for she did not see to it.
"It will do quite well for me, aunt, thank you," answered the low,
sweet-toned voice, which so often touched her better self; but when we
are deliberately acting with unkindness, it is not pleasant to have that
better self awakened, after the pains we have taken to lull it to sleep.
Mrs. Villars hastily bade her good night, telling her to go to sleep,
and be well on the morrow, and returned to the drawing-room. There she
found her daughters busy in criticising the face and form of the new
comer.
Caroline, vexed that Hargrave did not return, and seized with a sudden
desire to follow him, quietly left the room, and glided down stairs.
With stealthy steps, she again sought the room, where she thought the
truant had taken refuge. The light that streamed from it into the
passage, shewed her that the door was open, and as she reached it, she
paused, for a moment, to take a view of its occupant before invading his
retirement.
A large fire blazed up the chimney, and cast a flickering light round
the apartment, at times, bringing every object to view, and then leaving
it in fanciful shadow. Piles of books, as before, lay upon the table, on
which stood an unlighted lamp. Heedless of the many sources of
employment which were scattered around him, Hargrave was sitting,
leaning over the table. Caroline thought he slept, and meditated some
fanciful mode of waking him; but the moment her dress moved, he raised
his head, and the firelight which, while it left her own corner in
darkness, fell full upon him, shewed upon his countenance, the
unmistakable traces of grief and weakness. Her naturally quick
perception at once told her, that no time could be less favorable for
intrusion upon one so haughty, and, to all appearance, so impenetrable,
and drawing herself back into the shade, she lingered, but a moment, to
assure herself that he was again lost in his solitary musing, and then
noiselessly gained her own room, and sat down to think over what she had
witnessed.
Did he always indulge in such thoughts? and if so, over what past event
was he grieving? what loss which could not be repaired?
The flattering answer, returned by her mirror, gave her hope that such
grief, if more than transitory, would still be of no long duration.
What the heart wishes, it finds a thousand witnesses to substantiate.