LITTLE BEN.
In answer to a note requesting his presence at The Locks, Silas Davy
hurried towards that part of the town as soon as he found relief from
his duties at the hotel, regretting as he went along that Mr. Whittle
was not ahead of him with his gun, for late events had not been of a
cheerful nature, and he felt the need of better company than little Ben,
who dragged his weary frame into the hotel kitchen a few minutes before
Silas started.
Not that Silas did not love the boy; nor had he any objection to his
company on this errand, but with cries of murder in the air, and the
reports of guns, he thought he would have preferred a stouter companion
in his walk; but as they hurried along, little Ben keeping up with
difficulty, Silas thought that perhaps the boy's mild goodness would
keep away evil, and protect them both. It occurred to him for the first
time that in a storm of thunder and lighting he should like to keep
close to little Ben, for though mankind might be unjust to him, the
monsters of strength would pity his weakness, and strike elsewhere,
therefore Silas came to feel quite content in his company.
Of the shot in the bottoms which had created so much excitement in
Davy's Bend, and of the drifting boat which had been found in the flood
by Thompson Benton and his men, Silas knew nothing except as he heard
these matters discussed about the hotel. Although the people went to The
Locks in crowds the day after the body was found, and remained there
from early in the morning until late at night, every new arrival being
taken into one of the darkened lower rooms to look at the dead man,
Silas was not of the number. He was afraid to look at his friend's face,
fearing he could see in it an accusation of his neglect to give warning
of the shadow, so he remained away, and went about his duties in a
dreamy way, starting at every sound, as though he feared that the people
had at last found out his guilt, and had come to accuse him for not
notifying them of the danger of which he had been aware. The receipt of
the note had frightened him, too, and he felt sure that when he entered
the presence of Annie Dorris, she would break down, and inquire why he
had robbed her of a husband in his usual thoughtless way. Perhaps the
sight of little Ben, in his weakness and goodness, would plead for him,
so he picked the child up, and carried him on the way as far as his own
weak arms would permit.
Mrs. Wedge soon appeared in answer to his ring at The Locks gate, and
admitted him into the hall where he had heard the step on the stair on
the night when there was alarm because of Dorris's absence in the
bottoms. It was dark in the hall now, as it was then, and while Silas
waited for Mrs. Wedge to fasten the door at which they had entered, he
listened eagerly for the footsteps, and when he did not hear them, he
trembled at the sound of his own as he finally went up the stairs behind
Mrs. Wedge, followed by little Ben.
Going up to the door leading into the room which had been occupied by
his friend, Silas was ushered into the presence of Annie Dorris, who was
seated near the window where the shadow had twice appeared. There was a
great change in her manner, he noticed at once; the pretty face, which
had formerly always carried the suspicion of a laugh, was now
distinguished by a settled grief, and it was pale and haggard.
Her pale face was in sharp contrast to the dress of mournful black, and
the good fellow who was always trying to do right, but who was always in
doubt as to which was right and which was wrong, would have given his
life cheerfully to have been a month younger.
While Silas stood near the doorway, changing his hat from one hand to
the other in confusion, he noticed that tears started to her eyes.
"Please don't cry," Silas said, walking towards her. "I want to tell you
the guilty part I have taken in this dreadful affair, but I cannot
muster up the courage when there are tears in your eyes. Please don't
cry."
Annie Dorris bravely wiped her tears away at this request, and looked at
Silas with a face indicating that if his presence had opened her wounds
afresh, she would try and conceal it.
"I am oppressed with the fear that I am to blame for this," he
continued, in desperate haste, "and I must tell you, and get it off my
mind, even though you send for the sheriff and have me arrested; I
cannot contain the secret any longer, now that I am in your presence."
Little Ben had crawled into a chair on entering the room, and was
already fast asleep, with his head hanging on his breast, dreaming, let
us hope, of kind treatment, and of a pleasant home.
"Within a month after Allan Dorris came to Davy's Bend," Silas said,
seating himself near Mrs. Dorris, "Tug and I discovered that he was
shadowed by some one, who came and went at night. For more than a
year,--until the day before it happened--we saw the strange man at
intervals, but Tug said it would unnecessarily alarm you both to know
it, so we kept it to ourselves. I am sorry we did it, but we thought
then it was for the best. I always wanted to tell you, but Tug, who
worshipped you both, would never consent to it until the morning your
husband went into the bottoms alone. When he came here, and found that
he had gone, he followed him, and has not been seen since. The day
before, while rowing in the bottoms, I met the shadow, and when Tug
heard this, he came at once to warn your husband not to venture out
alone."
Annie Dorris made no reply. Perhaps this was no more than she expected
from Silas, whom she had sent for to question.
"The shot which once came in at that window was fired by Tug," Davy
continued, pointing to the pane which had been broken on the night of
Allan Dorris's marriage to Annie Benton, "and he fired at the shadow as
it was looking in at your husband. For more than a year Tug has carried
a gun, and has tried to protect you; but he made a mistake in not giving
warning of this stealthy enemy. Of late months he has spent his nights
in walking around this place, trying to get a shot at the shadow; and
though some people accuse him of a horrible crime, because of his
absence from town, he is really on the track of the guilty man, and will
return to prove it. I cannot tell you how sorry I am to see you in
mourning, but I hope you believe I did what I thought was for the best."
When Silas had concluded, they were both silent and thoughtful, and the
heavy breathing of little Ben was all the sound that could be heard.
This attracted the attention of Silas, and he said, respectfully,--
"Would you mind kissing the boy, ma'am? The poor little fellow is so
friendless, and has such a hard time of it, that he makes my heart ache.
If you will be good enough, I will tell him of it, and he will always
remember it gratefully. Poor chap! I don't suppose he was ever kissed in
his life."
Annie Dorris went over to the sleeping boy, and, after kissing him, as
had been requested, picked him up, and laid him down on a lounge which
stood in the room.
"There was always something fierce and mysterious about my husband,"
Mrs. Dorris said, after a time; "but both attracted me to him. I could
not help it. A hundred times he has offered to tell me his story, but I
did not care to hear it; so that now I know nothing about him except
that he was the most worthy gentleman I ever knew, and combined all
those qualities which my heart craved. I knew when we were first married
that some such result as this was probable, but I could not resist him;
and I do not regret it now. Three months of such happiness as I have
known will repay me for future years of loneliness, and his kindness and
consideration are sweet memories, which console me even now while my
grief is so fresh. He was manly and honorable with me in every way; and
the fault, if there has been a fault, was my own. I am sure that he was
a better man because of his misfortune. I believe now that trouble
purifies men, and makes them better; and the more I studied him the more
I was convinced that there were few like him; that a trifling thing had
ruined his life, and that there were hundreds of men, less honorable,
who were more fortunate. Even now I do not care to know more of him than
I already know. I fear that this is a fault; but I knew him better than
anyone else in the world, and his manner was so pathetic at times, and
his love for me always so pronounced, that, though I am now a young
woman, I expect to spend my life in doing honor to a noble memory."
There was something so womanly in her manner that Silas was convinced
that she would live only to honor the memory of his friend. There was
inexpressible sadness in her face, but there was also strength, and
capacity, and love, and honor.
"I am the one person whose good opinion he cared for," she said again;
"and I forget everything except his love for me, and his manliness in
everything. It is nothing to me what he was away from here. A single
atom in the human sea, he may have committed a wrong while attempting to
do right, and came here a penitent, trying to right it; but as I knew
him he was worthy of any woman's profoundest admiration, and he shall
receive it from me as long as I live. The stream of life leads upwards
to heaven against a strong current, and, knowing myself, I do not wonder
that occasionally the people forget, and float down with the tide. He
has told me that he had but one apology to make to any one,--to me, for
not finding me sooner. This was a pretty and an undeserved compliment;
but it was evident that in his own mind he did not feel that he had
wronged anyone, and I feel so. I have no idle regrets, and do not blame
you and Tug. On the contrary, I thank you both for your thoughtful care.
When Tug returns, as I am sure he will, bring him here. Who has not
wounded their best friends in trying to befriend them? Though you two
have grievously wounded me, I recognize the goodness of your motives,
and feel grateful."
She got up at this, and started toward the door, motioning Silas to
follow. From the dark hall she stepped through the door which Dorris had
never entered alive; but he had been carried there dead. A dim light
burned near the door, and there was something in the air--a taint not to
be described, but to be remembered with dread--which made Silas think of
a sepulchre.
On a raised platform, in the room to which the steps of poor Helen were
always leading, stood a metallic burial case, with a movable lid showing
the face under glass. The face was so natural that Silas thought it must
have been preserved in some manner, for his friend seemed to be quietly
sleeping, and he could not realize that he had been dead a week. Even
before Silas had taken his hasty glance, Annie Dorris had knelt beside
the inanimate clay of her husband, and he thought he had better go
away--he could think of nothing else to do--and leave her. And this he
did, only stopping at the door to see a picture which he never
forgot,--the coffin, the sobbing woman, the dim light, and the gloomy
hangings of the room.
On being awakened, little Ben shielded his face with his hands, as if
expecting a blow, which was his usual greeting on opening his eyes, but,
recognizing his friend, he contentedly followed him down the stairs, and
out at the iron gate into the street. Davy was not a large man or a
strong man, but little Ben found it difficult to follow him, and was
compelled to ask his friend to stop and rest before they reached the
hotel. When they finally reached the kitchen, they found it deserted,
and Silas hastily placed meat and bread before the boy. This he devoured
like a hungry wolf, and Davy wondered that such a little boy had so much
room under his jacket.
"They don't feed you overly well at the farm, do they, Ben?" Silas
inquired.
The boy had turned from the table, and was sitting with his hands
clasped around his knees, and his bare feet on the upper round of the
chair. After looking at his companion a moment, he thoughtfully shook
his head.
"You work hard enough, heaven knows," Silas said again, in a tone which
sounded like a strong man pitying some one less unfortunate, but there
was little difference between the two, except age, for there was every
reason to believe that should little Ben's cough get better, he would
become such a man as Silas was.
"I do all I can," little Ben answered, "but I am so weak that I cannot
do enough to satisfy them. I haven't had enough sleep in years: I think
that is the trouble with me."
That cough, little Ben, is not the result of loss of sleep: you must
have contracted that in going out to work in the early morning, illy
clad, while other children were asleep.
"I'm going to tell you something, poor fellow," Silas said, "which will
please you. While you were asleep up at The Locks to-night, the lady
kissed you."
Little Ben put his hand apologetically to his mouth, and coughed with a
hoarse bark that startled Silas, for he noticed that the cough seemed
worse every time the boy came to town. But he seemed to be only coughing
to avoid crying, for there were tears in his eyes.
"You are not going to cry, Ben?" Silas said, in a voice that indicated
that he was of that mind himself.
"I think not, sir," the boy replied. "When I first went to the farm, I
cried so much that I think that the tears have all left me. I was only
thinking it was very kind of the lady, for nobody will have me about
except you, Mr. Davy. My father and mother, they won't have me around,
and I am in Mr. Quade's way; and his wife and children have so much
trouble of their own that they cannot pay attention to me. They live
very poorly, and work very hard, sir, and I do not blame them; but I
often regret that I am always sick and tired, and that no one seems to
care for me."
Little Ben seemed to be running the matter over in his mind, for he was
silent a long while. In rummaging among his recollections he found
nothing pleasant, apparently, for when he turned his face to Silas it
showed the quivering and pathetic distortion which precedes an open
burst of grief.
"If you don't care," he said, "I believe I _will_ cry; I can't help it,
since you told me about the lady."
The little fellow sobbed aloud at the recollection of his hard life, all
the time trying to control himself, and wiping his eyes with his rough
sleeve. He was such a picture of helpless grief that Silas Davy turned
his back, and appeared to be rubbing something out of his eyes; first
one and then the other.
"I am sorry I am not able to help you, Ben," the good fellow said,
turning toward the boy again, after he had recovered himself; "but I am
of so little consequence that I am unable to help anyone; I cannot help
myself much. I have rather a hard time getting along, too, and I am a
good deal like you, Ben, for, though I work all the time, I do not give
much satisfaction."
Little Ben looked at his companion curiously.
"I thought you were very happy here, sir," he said, "with plenty to eat
every day. You are free to go to the cupboard whenever you are hungry,
but often I am unable to sleep because I am so hungry. You never go to
bed feeling that way, do you, Mr. Davy?"
"No," he replied, almost smiling at the boy's idea that anyone who had
plenty to eat must be entirely content; "but I am a shiftless sort of a
man, and I don't get on very well. I always want to do what is right and
fair, but somehow I don't always do it; I sometimes think, though, that
I am more unjust to myself than to anyone else. It causes me a good deal
of regret that I am not able to help such as you, Ben. If I were able, I
would like to buy you a suit of clothes."
"Summer is coming on, sir, and these will do very well," the boy
replied.
"Yes; but you were very thinly clad last winter, Ben, and oftentimes I
could not sleep from thinking of how cold you were when out in the
fields with the stock. If ever there was a good boy, you are one, Ben;
but you are not treated half so well as the bad boys I know. This is
what worries me, as hunger worries you."
"I am sorry to hear you are poor, sir," little Ben said. "Not that I
want you to do more for me than you have done, but you have always been
so kind to me that I thought you must be rich to afford it. You always
have something for me when I come to town, and I am very thankful to
you."
What a friendless child, Davy thought, to consider what he had done for
him the favor of a rich man! A little to eat, and small presents on
holidays; he had been able to do no more than that; but, since no one
else was kind to the boy, these were magnificent favors in his eyes.
"On which cheek did the lady kiss me, Mr. Davy?" the boy inquired later
in the night.
"On this one," Davy replied, touching his left cheek with his finger
tips.
"I was thinking it was that one," little Ben continued. "There has been
a glow in it ever since you told me. I should think that the boys who
have mothers who do not hate them are very happy. Do you know whether
they are, Mr. Davy?"
"I know they ought to be," he said; "but some of them are very
indifferent to their mothers. I have never had any experience myself; my
own mother died before I could remember."
"It seems to me," little Ben continued, "that if I were as well off as
some of the boys I see, I should be entirely satisfied. I must start
home soon, or I will not get there in time to be called for to-morrow's
work, and when I creep into the hay, where I sleep after coming to see
you, I intend to think that the kiss the lady gave me was the kiss of my
mother, and that she does not hate me any more."
For such as you, little Ben, there must be a heaven. The men who are
strong in doubt, as well as in the world's battles, come to that
conclusion when they remember that there can be no other reward for such
as you and Silas Davy, for your weakness is so unfit for this life that
it must be a burden which can only be reckoned in your favor in the
Master's house where there are many mansions.
"If there were not so many happy children," little Ben said again,
"perhaps I should not mind it so much, but I see them wherever I go, and
I cannot understand why my lot is so much harder than theirs. My bones
ache so, and I want to sleep and rest so much, that I cannot help
feeling regret; except for this I hope I would be happy as you are."
Silas Davy is anything but a happy man, little Ben, but, being a good
man, he does not complain, and does the best he can, so when the boy
soon after started for the farm, and Silas walked with him to the edge
of the town, he pretended to be very well satisfied with himself, and
with everything around him. Indeed, he was almost gay, but it was only
mockery to encourage his unfortunate companion.
"Next Christmas, Ben," Silas said, as they walked along, "you shall
have"--he paused a moment to consider his financial possibilities--"a
sled from the store."
"_That_ is too much," Ben replied, with hope and gladness in his voice.
"A sled will cost a great deal, for the painting and striping must come
high. I would like to have a sled more than anything else, but I am
afraid you would rob yourself in buying it. I am afraid that is too
much, Mr. Davy."
"It will not cost as much as you expect, and I can easily save the money
between this and Christmas," the good fellow replied. "I have always
wanted to do it, and I will, and it will be a pleasure. Remember, Ben,
when you feel bad off in future, what you are to get when you come to
see me Christmas morning."
"I will not forget, sir."
"When you own the sled, and I have had the pleasure of giving it to you,
we will feel like very fortunate fellows, won't we, Ben?" Silas said
again, cheerfully, as they walked along.
"We shall feel as though we are getting along in the world, I should
think, Mr. Davy," the boy replied.
They had reached the edge of the town by this time, and Davy stopped to
turn back. He took the boy's hand for a moment, and said,--
"Remember the sled, Ben. Good night."
"Good night, sir. I will not forget."
Silas had scarcely said good night to him before he was lost to his
sight,--he was such a very little fellow.