Then came that wonderful morning on which I read that Captain Paul
Buchanan was coming home, was expected to arrive that very day. I opened
the paper at breakfast, as usual and my eyes caught the word that at
any time had the power to set my heart thumping and to send the blood
rushing to my head, a word common enough, and which to most people,
beyond relating to a country always interesting, means little--Africa.
It is curious that a day that is to change the whole of one's life
should begin exactly like any other day. Of the most important things we
have no premonition, most of us.
That what I longed and prayed for every hour of my life should come to
pass was not wonderful, but that a day on which I was to be called to
make the greatest sacrifice of my life should steal stealthily upon me
seems strange.
That morning when I came downstairs, my little house in Chelsea looked
exactly like it always had done. The sun shone as the sun does shine
in the early winter in London, and no more, until after I had read that
paragraph; then, behold a new world was born. Why had my eyes been
blind to the gloriousness of the morning? Why had I thought the day an
ordinarily dull one with just the amount of pale sunshine which is meted
out to those happy people who are wise enough to live within easy reach
of the river? Yes, I know, some people do say that Chelsea is foggy.
It depends so much on their lives. No place could be foggy to me that
day. My fear was that Nannie should read the news in my face. I looked
away when she said, "Anything in the paper?" as she had said a hundred
times before. She always came to see me eat my breakfast, so she said,
but I knew it was really to hear the news. I handed her the paper,
although I hated to let the words out of my sight, and she glanced at
it. She paused and walked to the window. Kind Nannie, she was giving me
time. She blew her nose, she was crying, she knew. A double knock at the
door brought my heart to a standstill. Lady Mary was right, he did care.
It seemed hours before the telegram was brought to me. I hardly dared
to open it. There is some happiness too great to bear. I opened it and
read:--
Sara very ill. Come at once.
DIANA
"Nannie," I said, "I am going to Hames."
"To-day?" she said. She knew it was my day of days.
"I must, Nannie. Will you come?"
"No; I'll stay here. Poor Mrs. David, whatever will she do?"
I could hardly imagine, and I am glad to remember that my sorrow seemed
a small thing compared to hers.
It would be impossible for me to describe that journey. The train crept
along. It seemed to stop hours at the station. No one seemed to remember
that Sara was ill. I felt the grip of a cold hand on my heart. Should
I ever arrive? I did at last, and found a groom waiting for me at the
station, with a dogcart. His mouth twitched, and he could hardly control
his voice to tell me that there was no fresh news. The carriages were
wanted for the doctors; did I mind the dogcart? Mind? I could have urged
the horse to a gallop, and yet I dreaded to arrive.
It was strange to pass through the quiet, deserted hall, up the stairs,
and to hear no sound. A nurse opened a door and spoke in a whisper. I
went into the room, and not until I saw Diana, so lovely in her grief,
did I realize the agony of her suffering. She put out her hand and
silently pressed mine. I turned away so that she should not see my face.
A man, a stranger to me, sat by the bedside, his eyes fixed on the child
lying there. He was the great London doctor, in whom I could see all
hope was centered. There were other doctors and nurses, I believe, but
it all seemed confusion to me now; but poor, broken hearted Nannie I
remember. She stood at a distance. Not a sound was uttered, and I took
up my watch with the others, to watch that precious life ebbing away.
The soft flitting backward and forward of nurses, a word now and then
from the great man who held not only the life of Sara in his hands, but,
it seemed to me, the life of my beautiful Diana, only broke the intense
silence. The night came on and we still watched.
The doctor's face became sterner and graver and the little life weaker,
or so it seemed to me. Diana knelt at the side of the bed. She never
moved.
As the dawn broke, Sara opened her eyes and said, "Nannie."
Diana rose and beckoned to Nannie. Nannie hesitated, and Diana, taking
her hand, whispered, "Dear Nannie, I am so glad," and gave up her place.
It is not given to all of us to reach great heights, but Diana at that
moment, I think, reached the divine in human nature. Then came the
moment, too wonderful to think of, when the doctor told Diana that the
great danger was over.
Later he said to David, "My boy, you have given your children the
greatest of all blessings in their mother. Thank God for her every
moment of your life. I've seen many mothers and many sick children,
but--thank God, and don't forget it."
Dear David, I think most of us thank God oftener than we know and in
many and divers ways, and I am not sure that David does not do it every
time he looks at Diana.