CRUISING OFF PORTO RICO.
A ball on board—Fishing with a seine—Ordered to cruise off Porto
Rico—News of the battle of Camperdown—The boasts of Napoleon—Views
on matrimony—A sailor’s courtship—Futile boat attack on a Spanish
war vessel at St. Domingo—Author loses hearing of his left ear
from effect of a wound.
The officers gave a dance to the inhabitants of the town of Donna Maria,
which was attended by the Governor, who was a well-bred, gentlemanly old
Frenchman, his wife and sister-in-law (whom I had seen dressed as men when
we first arrived). The quarter-deck was filled with mustiphenas, mustees,
mulattos, Sambos, and delicate, flat-nosed, large-mouthed and thick-lipped
black ladies. Had Vestris been present, she might have taken some new
hints in dancing. The waltzing was kept up with so much spirit that four
couples were hurled to the deck one over the other, and it was truly
laughable to see the melange of blacks and whites struggling to be the
first on their legs. At one o’clock in the morning they took their
departure, highly pleased with their entertainment.
The following day I was sent with another midshipman with two boats to
haul the seine in a bay about a mile to the westward. On the first haul we
caught about four bucketsful of rays, parrot-fish, snappers, groupers, red
and white mullet, John-dories, some crabs and two electric eels. One of
the boat’s crew hooked one of the latter by the gills with the boat-hook,
when his arm was immediately paralysed, and he let it fall, calling out
that someone had struck him. The man near him laid hold of the fish again
as it was making for the shore, and the shock he received threw him on his
knees. I ran up to him, for he appeared in great pain. However, he soon
recovered, and before the ill-fated eel could reach its element, he caught
up a large stone and made it dearly atone for the pain it had inflicted.
We made another haul, but were not so successful, as we only caught some
ray, crabs, and an alligator three feet long, which had torn the net. We
stunned him by a blow with one of the boat’s stretchers, threw him into
the boat, and after taking in the net, repaired to the ship.
In one of my excursions at this place I found a large manchineel tree. The
fruit is nearly the size of a pippin, of a light yellow colour blushed
with red; it looked very tempting. This tree expands its deadly influence
and poisons the atmosphere to some distance. We in consequence gave it a
wide berth. I also found a number of sponges, and some beautiful shells
and sea-eggs. We had been enjoying ourselves for nearly three weeks at
this agreeable place, when a sloop of war arrived with orders from the
commodore to join him off the east end of Porto Rico, as he had
information that a French squadron had been seen by an American schooner
off the Caicos Islands steering for St. Domingo, which report in the
sequel proved a tarnation Yankee lie. When near the Platform we
experienced a heavy squall, which carried away the foretop-mast and
jib-boom, and, most singular to relate, although some miles from the shore
after the squall had passed, we found some scores of very small crabs on
the decks. I leave this phenomenon to longer heads than mine—although mine
is not the shortest—to explain. We had seen two waterspouts in the morning
between us and the land. It might possibly have happened that the suction
which forms them drew up these unfortunate crabs and crabesses, and
discharged them with unrelenting fury, through the medium of a dark,
lowering cloud upon our decks. They being too small to eat, were given to
the Muscovy ducks, who found them a great treat, and soon made mincemeat
of them. We soon got up another top-mast and jib-boom out, and the
following morning signalled the ships lying in the mole.
Five days after we joined the squadron near the Mona passage, when the
commodore acquainted the captain that the intelligence he had received
respecting the French squadron was all an American humbug. The next
morning we spoke three ships bound to Jamaica, from whom we took seven
good seamen, and procured a newspaper, which informed us of the gallant
action off Camperdown, and that Bonaparte had frightened men, women and
children by his threatening to invade England, take up his residence in
Portland Place, turn the royal palaces into stables, make a riding-school
of St. Paul’s and a dancing academy of Westminster Abbey! The
cockpitonians said he might whisper that to the marines, for the sailors
would not believe him. Here, reader, I beg you will pause and reflect that
you must die; and may your departure be like that of our worthy captain of
marines, who died as he lived, in charity with all his frail fellow men.
His loss was much regretted by nearly all on board. His messmates declared
they could have spared another man, looking hard at the purser whilst they
uttered it; but “Nip-cheese” would not take the hint, and lived to return
to England, where he took unto himself a better half, and I hope he is
happy, for who is not so when they take a fair lady for better—I dislike
adding anything further, so, reader, finish it yourself. I hope to get
spliced myself one of these fine days, and I sincerely trust it will be a
long splice. But we must keep a good look-out that in veering the cable
does not part in the hawse, for if it unfortunately does, ah, me! the
separation, most likely will be a permanent one.
Whilst I am on the tender subject of connubial felicity, I will relate a
short dialogue which passed between two of my messmates. The eldest was a
Benedict, the other about twenty, who wished to be initiated, as he
thought he had a kind of side-wind regard for the innkeeper’s sister at
Port Royal. “Why,” said the first, “I met my wife at a hop in the country
among a parcel of grass-combers. I asked her to dance, which she at first
refused, giving for a reason that, as I was a sailor, I could not know how
to lead down the middle and cast off at top. ‘If that’s all,’ said I, ‘my
dear, I know how to do that as well as anybody in the room.’ I was now
pushed aside by a lubberly, haymaking chap, who led her out, but who as
much knew how to dance as the captain’s cow. After they all sat down, I
asked the catgut scraper if he could play the fisher’s hornpipe. He said
yes. I told him to play away, and I would dance it. After veering and
hauling on his instrument for a short time, he brought it out. I then
struck out, with my hat on one side, my arms a-kimbo, and a short stick
under one of them. The bumpkins all stared, and Nancy began to awake and
find out that a sailor knew how to cut a caper. After I had finished, I
ran up to her to pick up her handkerchief, which I thought she had
dropped, but found it was only the tail of her gown. She smiled and gave
me her hand. I thought this a good beginning, and was determined to follow
it up. I observed her plough-tail admirer did not half like seeing me on
such a good footing with her. I had not forgotten his push, and if he had
interfered I should have knocked him down, for I began to feel that I was
already over head and heels in love. About midnight all the clodhoppers
took their departure. As the dance, or merry-making as they called it, was
given at her father’s house, I remained as long as I could, and as the old
governor was fond of sea songs and tough yarns, I served them out freely
until the clock struck 2 A.M., when, after taking a good swig out of a
large tankard of strong ale, which had frequently been replenished, I took
Nancy’s hand and kissed it, and wished her good-night. The father, who was
a hearty old farmer, asked me to call in again before I sailed, for at
this time I was master’s mate of the _Savage_ sloop of war. She was just
commissioned at Chatham, and as we did not expect to sail for three weeks,
I had plenty of time to make love.” “But did you think it prudent to
marry, knowing that you could scarcely support yourself, much less a
wife?” demanded the younger. “That’s all true,” replied he; “but don’t put
me in mind of my misfortunes. I was in love, you know, and when a man is
in love, why, he’s two-thirds a woman. I only thought of the present—the
future I sent packing to the devil.” “Well,” asked the other, “how long
were you backing and filling?” “About a fortnight,” replied he. “Her
mother said it was too short a time, and the marriage had better be put
off until I returned from a cruise. ‘That will never do,’ replied I; ‘I
may be popped off the hooks. There is nothing like the present moment, is
there?’ said I, appealing to Nancy and her father. ‘Why,’ said she, ‘dear
mother, I think William’—for that, you know, is my Christian name—‘is
right; is he not, father?’ ‘Do as you like, girl,’ said he. ‘I only wish
to see you happy.’ It was now settled that in two days we were to be
spliced. All the clodhoppers and grass-combers I had met before, who were
mostly her relations, were asked to the wedding, and among the rest her
clownish admirer, who, I understood, was her cousin. He was rather sulky
at first, but seeing everyone around him in good humour, he came up to me
and offered his hand, which I took and shook heartily. The farmhouse not
being more than three miles from Chatham, we hired two coaches from that
place, and with the addition of two chay-carts belonging to the farmers,
we made a numerous (for there were twenty-six of us), if not a
respectable, appearance. After pairing off and pairing in, we weighed and
started with a pleasant breeze. The church soon hove in sight, and the
bells struck up merrily. We hove to, all standing before the altar. The
parson read the articles of marriage, and I was hooked. Nancy piped her
eye, and I looked nohow. We made a man-of-war’s cruise there and back
again, and took in our moorings at the farm, where I had leave to remain
four days. I had asked two of my messmates to the wedding, who were
obliged to be off next morning by daylight. The same day my good old
father-in-law took me aside and told me he would allow Nancy forty pounds
a year as long as he lived and did well, and that she might remain with
her mother, who did not like parting with her, as she was their only
child, as long as I liked. I thanked the old governor most sincerely, and
informed him that the Secretary of the Admiralty was a relation of my
mother’s, a ninety-ninth cousin far removed—but that’s nothing—and that I
was certain of a lieutenant’s commission in two years, when my time would
be served. Here I counted my chickens before they were hatched, for I have
now served three years over my time, and here I am, with not much a day,
except the good farmer’s forty pounds, to keep myself, my wife and a
child. You see,” said he, “how I am obliged to keep close hauled, and
can’t afford to sport my figure on shore as some of you do. No,” added he,
“don’t be after splicing yourself until you have a commission, and if you
do then, you will have as much business with a wife as a cow has with a
side pocket, and be, as a noble First Lord of the Admiralty used civilly
to tell married lieutenants, not worth a d——n.”
My messmate’s narrative brought me up with a round turn, and I felt my
heart working like the tiller-ropes in a gale of wind. “Well,” said I,
after a pause, “how did you back out when you parted with your wife?” “You
may well say ‘back out,’” said he. “I was taken slap aback—it came over me
like a clap of thunder. I was half inclined to play the shy cock and
desert, and had it not been for the advice of the good old man, I should
have been mad enough to have destroyed my prospects in the Service for
ever. Now,” said he, “how do you feel?” “A little qualmish,” said I, “and
I’ll take a good stiff glass of grog to wash it down. But you have not
finished. How did she behave when you were ordered to join your ship?”
“Nobly,” said he; “just as I thought she would. After a good fit of
crying, she threw herself on her mother’s shoulder, and after fondly
embracing, me, ‘Go,’ said she. ‘William, may that God who has a particular
providence over our sailors always be with you! If your duty will not
prevent you, come again to-morrow, and get leave to remain until the ship
sails.’
“I joined the sloop, and the first lieutenant and my messmates told me I
looked more like a person who had been doing something he was ashamed of
than a happy Benedict.
“When I got below, my mates informed me the sloop was to fit foreign and
going to the West Indies. My mind was like a coal-barge in a waterspout
when I heard this, and I was determined to cut and run; but when I
reflected next morning on the probability of my gaining my commission
shortly after our arrival, as I should go out on Admiralty promotion, I
clapped a stopper on my determination, and held on. We were to sail in two
days, and I contrived to get leave to go every evening to the farm, and
return by 8 o’clock next morning. I told my wife our destination, and the
probability of my promotion. ‘Never mind me, William,’ said she, with her
sweet voice; ‘go where duty calls you. When in that path you cannot be
wrong. The hope of your promotion cheers me. Let us do all we can to merit
the blessings of a gracious Creator, and the good-fellowship of our
fellow-creatures, and we shall not be very unhappy, although far distant
from each other.’ The last morning I spent with my wife was a mixture of
cheerfulness and grief. At last I tore myself away. I have now given you
the whole history, from the main-royal truck down to the kelson.”
“Come,” said I, “let’s have another glass of grog, and I’ll drink your
wife’s good health and speedy promotion to yourself.” “That’s a good
fellow,” said he, giving me his hand, and brushing away a tear. “Should
you ever be spliced, which I hope for your own sake will not be for some
years, may you anchor alongside just such another saucy frigate as mine.”
I am truly happy to inform my reader that my good-hearted messmate was
shortly afterwards promoted into a frigate going to England.
After cruising with the squadron for some days, we had permission to go in
search of adventures, and next morning, as we were running down along the
coast of Porto Rico, we discovered five sail of vessels in a small bay.
The water not being sufficiently deep to admit the ship, we manned and
armed three boats and sent them in. I had the six-oared cutter, with nine
men; we were soon alongside of them. They proved Spanish vessels, four
small schooners and a sloop laden with fruit, principally oranges and
shaddocks, and a quantity of yams and plantains. We sent them all down to
Jamaica—why, you must ask the captain, as by the time they reached their
destination almost the whole of the fruit was rotten, and the vessels did
not pay the expenses of their condemnation. Shortly after this affair, two
of the boats, with a lieutenant, a master’s mate, and myself, were sent in
shore near Cape François, St. Domingo, on a cruise of speculation. No
object being in sight when we left the ship, about 10 P.M. we came
suddenly on three dark-looking schooners, who on seeing us gave us a warm
reception. The night, fortunately for us, was very dark, and we were
nearly alongside of them without our perceiving them, as they were
anchored so near the land. I was mid of the lieutenant’s boat, and he
determined on boarding the largest of them. I knew, or rather I could
foresee, the result; but as he had taken in the course of the last two
hours three north-westers, and was half-seas over, my advice availed
little. The other boat was at some distance from us. On we went, when
three of our men were seriously wounded and I received a musket-ball
through the left side of my hat, which slightly wounded my ear, taking
part of the hair, and I felt a distressing whirling noise inside my head,
and was so giddy I was obliged to sit down, not before, however, I had
shot a man in the main-channels who I thought had fired the shot at me. We
had kept up a brisk firing, and must have killed several of their men,
when they got long spars with a spike at the end over the side, and
endeavoured to drive them through the bottom of our boat. The lieutenant,
who was now more himself, found boarding her impracticable, as she had her
boarding netting up, her decks filled with men, and nine ports in her
side. We reluctantly pulled off. We had unfortunately taken the bull by
the horns—that is, pulled for her broadside. The lieutenant and myself,
for I recovered sufficiently to load my musket, kept firing at her decks
as we retired. She paid us the same compliment, and slightly wounded
another of the boat’s crew. Had the night not been so cloudy, and without
a moon, we should have paid dearly for our temerity. We rowed in a
straight line for her stern. The two other vessels were well armed, and
they saluted us with a few shot as we pulled off, which, however, went far
over us. We soon after joined the other boat, which had lost sight of us
when we attempted boarding the enemy’s vessel. We learnt a few days
afterwards, from a New Providence privateer, that they were three
guardacostas, as the captain of her called them—in other words, Spanish
government vessels, commanded by lieutenants, well armed, manned and
equipped. We joined the ship next morning, and gave a Flemish account of
our cruise. One of the wounded men, through loss of blood, died soon after
coming on board. The other three having received flesh wounds, soon
returned to their duty. The surgeon examined my ear, and found the
tympanum ruptured. It destroyed my hearing on that side for ever, and for
years after I was distressed with a loud roaring noise on the left side of
my head. A fortnight later we fell in with a Spanish eighty-gun ship, a
large frigate and a heavy-armed store ship. We were soon alongside the
former, having beat to quarters previously. We asked her where she came
from. Her answer was, “From sea.” We then asked her where she was bound
to. Her answer was, “To sea.” Our skipper then jumped upon one of the
quarter-deck carronades, with his eyes glistening like a Cornish diamond.
The muzzles of our guns were at this time almost touching her side. One of
our crew spoke Spanish. He was desired to hail her, and say that if she
did not answer the questions which had been put she should be fired into.
“From Cadiz” was the prompt answer, and “Bound to the Havannah.” “You
might have answered that before,” said the skipper; “if I had given you a
good dressing, you richly deserved it.” “I do not understand what you
say,” was the reply. “You be d——d,” said our man of war, and we turned off
on our heel. The same evening a court of inquiry was held by the mids, who
were unanimous in declaring that the captain of the line of battle ship
ought to be superseded and made swab-wringer, and that their own captain
had acted with that spirit which became a British commander of a
man-of-war, and that he deserved to have his health drunk in a bumper of
grog, which was accordingly done. Here the court broke up, hoping the mate
of the hold would bring with him, after serving the grog, an extra pint of
rum to make up the deficiency. The captain, having heard of our
proceedings, sent his steward to us with a bottle of the true sort as a
proof of his satisfaction.