_[London, Nov. 1795]._
I write to you now on my knees; imploring you to send my child and the
maid with ----, to Paris, to be consigned to the care of Madame ----, rue
----, section de ----. Should they be removed, ---- can give their
direction.
Let the maid have all my clothes, without distinction.
Pray pay the cook her wages, and do not mention the confession which I
forced from her--a little sooner or later is of no consequence. Nothing
but my extreme stupidity could have rendered me blind so long. Yet, whilst
you assured me that you had no attachment, I thought we might still have
lived together.
I shall make no comments on your conduct; or any appeal to the world. Let
my wrongs sleep with me! Soon, very soon shall I be at peace. When you
receive this, my burning head will be cold.
I would encounter a thousand deaths, rather than a night like the last.
Your treatment has thrown my mind into a state of chaos; yet I am serene.
I go to find comfort, and my only fear is, that my poor body will be
insulted by an endeavour to recal my hated existence. But I shall plunge
into the Thames where there is the least chance of my being snatched from
the death I seek.
God bless you! May you never know by experience what you have made me
endure. Should your sensibility ever awake, remorse will find its way to
your heart; and, in the midst of business and sensual pleasure, I shall
appear before you, the victim of your deviation from rectitude.