_[Sweden] July 1 [1795]._
I labour in vain to calm my mind--my soul has been overwhelmed by sorrow
and disappointment. Every thing fatigues me--this is a life that cannot
last long. It is you who must determine with respect to futurity--and,
when you have, I will act accordingly--I mean, we must either resolve to
live together, or part for ever, I cannot bear these continual
struggles.--But I wish you to examine carefully your own heart and mind;
and, if you perceive the least chance of being happier without me than
with me, or if your inclination leans capriciously to that side, do not
dissemble; but tell me frankly that you will never see me more. I will
then adopt the plan I mentioned to you--for we must either live together,
or I will be entirely independent.
My heart is so oppressed, I cannot write with precision--You know however
that what I so imperfectly express, are not the crude sentiments of the
moment--You can only contribute to my comfort (it is the consolation I am
in need of) by being with me--and, if the tenderest friendship is of any
value, why will you not look to me for a degree of satisfaction that
heartless affections cannot bestow?
Tell me then, will you determine to meet me at Basle?--I shall, I should
imagine, be at ---- before the close of August; and, after you settle your
affairs at Paris, could we not meet there?
God bless you!
Yours truly
MARY.
Poor Fanny has suffered during the journey with her teeth.