_[Paris] Dec. 26 [1794]._
I have been, my love, for some days tormented by fears, that I would not
allow to assume a form--I had been expecting you daily--and I heard that
many vessels had been driven on shore during the late gale.--Well, I now
see your letter--and find that you are safe; I will not regret then that
your exertions have hitherto been so unavailing.
* * * * *
Be that as it may, return to me when you have arranged the other matters,
which ---- has been crowding on you. I want to be sure that you are
safe--and not separated from me by a sea that must be passed. For, feeling
that I am happier than I ever was, do you wonder at my sometimes dreading
that fate has not done persecuting me? Come to me, my dearest friend,
husband, father of my child!--All these fond ties glow at my heart at this
moment, and dim my eyes.--With you an independence is desirable; and it is
always within our reach, if affluence escapes us--without you the world
again appears empty to me. But I am recurring to some of the melancholy
thoughts that have flitted across my mind for some days past, and haunted
my dreams.
My little darling is indeed a sweet child; and I am sorry that you are not
here, to see her little mind unfold itself. You talk of "dalliance;" but
certainly no lover was ever more attached to his mistress, than she is to
me. Her eyes follow me every where, and by affection I have the most
despotic power over her. She is all vivacity or softness--yes; I love her
more than I thought I should. When I have been hurt at your stay, I have
embraced her as my only comfort--when pleased with you, for looking and
laughing like you; nay, I cannot, I find, long be angry with you, whilst I
am kissing her for resembling you. But there would be no end to these
details. Fold us both to your heart; for I am truly and affectionately
Yours,
MARY.