THE FAIRY RIDE
Courtland went off early next morning in the dog-cart to Fairhaven
station--no railway line ran nearer Milldean--and Grantley Imason spent
the morning lounging about his house, planning what improvements could
be made and what embellishments provided against the coming of Sibylla.
He enjoyed this pottering both for its own sake and because it was
connected with the thought of the girl he loved. For he was in love--as
much in love, it seemed to him, as a man could well be. "And I ought to
know," he said, with a smile of reminiscence, his mind going back to
earlier affairs of the heart, more or less serious, which had been by no
means lacking in his career. He surveyed them without remorse, though
one or two might reasonably have evoked that emotion, and with no more
regret than lay in confessing that he had shared the follies common to
his age and his position. But he found great satisfaction in the thought
that Sibylla had had nothing to do with any of the persons concerned.
She had known none of them; she was in no sense of the same set with any
one of the five or six women of whom he was thinking; her surroundings
had always been quite different from theirs. She came into his life
something entirely fresh, new, and unconnected with the past. Herein lay
a great deal of the charm of this latest, this final affair. For it was
to be final--for his love's sake, for his honour's sake, and also
because it seemed time for such finality in that ordered view of life
and its stages to which his intellect inclined him. There was something
singularly fortunate in the chance which enabled him to suit his desire
to this conception, to find the two things in perfect harmony, to act on
rational lines with such a full and even eager assent of his feelings.
He reminded himself, with his favourite shrug, that to talk of chance
was to fall into an old fallacy; but the sense of accident remained. The
thing had been so entirely unplanned. He had meant to buy a place in the
North; it was only when the one he wanted had been snapped up by
somebody else that the agents succeeded in persuading him to come and
look at the house at Milldean. It happened to take his fancy, and he
bought it. Then he happened to be out of sorts, and stayed down there an
unbroken month, instead of coming only from Saturday to Monday. Again,
Sibylla and Jeremy had meant to go away when the rector died, and had
stayed on only because Old Mill House happened to fall vacant so
opportunely. No other house was available in the village. So the chances
went on, till chance culminated in that meeting of his with Sibylla: not
their first encounter, but the one he always called his meeting with her
in his own thoughts--that wonderful evening when all the sky was red,
and the earth too looked almost red, and the air was so still. Then he
had been with her in his garden, and she, forgetful of him, had turned
her eyes to the heavens, and gazed and gazed. Presently, and still, as
it seemed, unconsciously, she had stretched out her hand and caught his
in a tight grip, silently but urgently demanding his sympathy for
thoughts and feelings she could not express. At that moment her beauty
seemed to be born for him, and he had determined to make it his. He
smiled now, saying that he had been as impulsive as the merest boy,
thanking fortune that he could rejoice in the impulse instead of
condemning it--an end which _a priori_ would have seemed much the more
probable. In nine cases out of ten it would have been foolish and
disastrous to be carried away in an instant like that. In his case it
had, at any rate, not proved disastrous. From that moment he had never
turned back from his purpose, and he had nothing but satisfaction in its
now imminent accomplishment.
"Absolutely the right thing! I couldn't have done better for myself."
He stood still once in the middle of the room and said these words
aloud. They exhausted the subject, and Grantley sat down at his
writing-table to answer Mrs. Raymore's letter of congratulation. He had
never been in love with Mrs. Raymore, who was his senior by ten years;
but she was an old and intimate friend--perhaps his most intimate
friend. She had been more or less in his confidence while he was wooing
Sibylla, and a telegram apprising her of his success had called forth
the letter to which he now owed a response.
"If I had been a poor man," he wrote in the course of his reply, "I
wouldn't have married--least of all a rich wife. Even as a well-to-do
man, I wouldn't have married a rich wife. You have to marry too much
besides the woman! And I didn't want a society woman, nor anybody from
any of the sets I've knocked about with. But I did want to marry. I want
a wife, and I want the dynasty continued. It's come direct from father
to son for five or six generations, and I didn't want to stand on record
as the man who stopped it. I'm entirely contented, no less with the
project than with the lady. It will complete my life. That's what I
want--a completion, not a transformation. She'll do just this for me. If
I had taken a child and trained her, I couldn't have got more exactly
what I want; and I'm sure you'll think so when you come to know her.
Incidentally, I am to acquire a delightful brother-in-law. He'll always
be a capital fellow; but, alas, he won't long be the jewel he is now:
just at that stage between boy and man--hobbledehoy, as you women used
to make me so furious by calling me--breathing fury against all
institutions, especially those commonly supposed to be of divine origin;
learned in ten thousand books; knowing naught of all that falls under
the categories of men, women, and things; best of all, blindly wrath at
himself because he has become, or is becoming, a man, and can't help it,
and can't help feeling it! How he hates women and despises them! You
see, he has begun to be afraid! I haven't told him that he's begun to be
afraid; it will be rich to watch him as he achieves the discovery on his
own account. You'll enjoy him very much."
Grantley ended his letter with a warm tribute to Mrs. Raymore's
friendship, assurances of all it had been to him, and a promise that
marriage should, so far as his feelings went, in no way lessen, impair,
or alter the affection between them.
"He's very nice about me," said Mrs. Raymore when she had finished
reading; "and he says a good deal about the brother-in-law, and quite a
lot about himself. But really, he says hardly one word about Sibylla!"
Now it was, of course, about Sibylla that Mrs. Raymore had wanted to
hear.
Late afternoon found Grantley cantering over the downs towards
Fairhaven. Sibylla had been staying the night there with a Mrs.
Valentine, a friend of hers, and was to return by the omnibus which
plied to and from Milldean. Their plan was that he should meet her and
she should dismount, leaving her luggage to be delivered. He loved his
horse, and had seized the opportunity of slipping in a ride. When she
joined him he would get off and walk with her. As he rode now he was not
in the calm mood which had dictated his letter. He was excited and eager
at the prospect of meeting Sibylla again; he was exulting in the success
of his love, instead of contemplating with satisfaction the orderly
progression of his life. But still he had not, and knew he had not,
quite the freedom from self-consciousness which marks a youthful
passion. The eagerness was there, but he was not surprised, although he
was gratified, to find it there. His ardour was natural enough to need
no nursing; yet Grantley was inclined to caress it. He laughed as he let
his horse stretch himself in a gallop; he was delighted, and a trifle
amused, to find his emotions so fresh: none of the luxury, none of the
pleasure-giving power, had gone out of them. He was still as good a
lover as any man.
He was cantering over the turf thirty or forty yards from the road when
the omnibus passed him. The driver cried his name, and pointed back with
his whip. Grantley saw Sibylla a long way behind. He touched his horse
with the spur, and galloped towards her. Now she stood still, waiting
for him. He came up to her at full speed, reined in, and leapt off.
Holding his bridle and his hat in one hand, with the other he took hers,
and, bowing over it, kissed it. His whole approach was gallantly
conceived and carried out.
"Ah, you--you come to me like Sir Galahad!" murmured Sibylla.
"My dear, Sir Galahad! A banker, Sir Galahad!"
"Well, do bankers kiss the hands of paupers?"
"Bankers of love would kiss the hands of its millionaires."
"And am I a millionaire of love?"
Grantley let go her hand and joined in her laugh at their little bout of
conceits. She carried it on, but merrily now, not in the almost painful
strain of delight which had made her first greeting sound half-choked.
"Haven't I given it all to you--to a dishonest banker, who'll never let
me have it back?"
"We pay interest on large accounts," Grantley reminded her.
"You'll pay large, large interest to me?"
She laid her hand on his arm, and it rested there as they began to walk,
the good horse Rollo pacing soberly beside them.
"All the larger if I've embezzled the principal! That's always the way,
you know." He stopped suddenly, laughing, "It's quite safe!", and kissed
her.
He held her face a moment, looking into the depths of her dark eyes. Now
he forgot to be amused at himself or even gratified. If he was not as a
boy-lover, it was not because he advanced with less ardour, but that he
advanced with more knowledge; not because he abandoned himself less, but
that he knew to what the self-abandonment was.
She walked along with a free swing under her short cloth skirt;
evidently she could walk thus for many a mile with no slackening and no
fatigue. The wind had caught her hair, and blew it from under, and round
about, and even over the flat cap of red that she wore; her eyes gazed
and glowed and cried joy to him. There under the majestic spread of sky,
amid the exhilaration of the salt-tasting air, on the green swell of the
land, by the green and blue and white of the sea, she was an
intoxication. Grantley breathed quickly as he walked with her hand on
his wrist.
"It's so new," she whispered in a joyful apology. "I've never been in
love before. You have! Oh, of course you have! I don't mind that--not
now. I used to before--before you told me. I used to be very jealous! I
couldn't be jealous now--except of not being allowed to love you
enough."
"When I'm with you I've never been in love before."
"I don't believe you ever have--not really. I don't believe you
could--without me to help you!" She laughed at her boast as she made it,
drumming her fingers lightly on his arm; his blood seemed to register
each separate touch with a beat for each. "When we're married, Grantley,
you shall give me a horse, such a good horse, such a fast horse--as good
and as fast as dear old Rollo. And we'll ride--we'll ride together--oh,
so far and so fast, against the wind, right against it breathlessly!
We'll mark the setting sun, and we'll ride straight for it, never
stopping, never turning. We'll ride straight into the gold, both of us
together, and let the gold swallow us up!"
"A bizarre ending for a respectable West End couple!"
"No ending! We'll do it every day!" She turned to him suddenly, saying,
"Ride now. You mount--I'll get up behind you."
"What? You'll be horribly uncomfortable!"
"Who's thinking of comfort? Rollo can carry us easily. Mount, Grantley,
mount! Don't go straight home. Ride along the cliff. Come, mount,
mount!"
She was not to be denied. When he was mounted she set her foot lightly
on his, and he helped her up.
"My arm round your waist!" she cried. "Why, I'm splendid here! Gallop,
Grantley, gallop! Think somebody's pursuing us and trying to take me
away!"
"Must poor Rollo drop down dead?"
"No, but we'll pretend he will!"
Now and then he cried something back to her as they rode; but for the
most part he knew only her arm about him, the strands of her hair
brushing against his cheek as the wind played with them, her short quick
breathing behind him. The powerful horse seemed to join in the revel, so
strong and easy was his gait as he pulled playfully and tossed his head.
They were alone in the world, and the world was very simple--the perfect
delight of the living body, the unhindered union of soul with soul--all
nature fostering, inciting, applauding. It was a great return to the
earliest things, and nothing lived save those. They rode more than king
and queen; they rode god and goddess in the youth of the world,
descended from High Olympus to take their pleasure on the earth. They
rode far and fast against the wind, against it breathlessly. They rode
into the gold, and the gold swallowed them up.
The blood was hot in him, and when first he heard her gasp "Stop!" he
would pay no heed. He turned the horse's head towards home, but they
went at a gallop still. He felt her head fall against his shoulder. It
rested there. Her breath came quicker, faster; he seemed to see her
bosom rising and falling in the stress. But he did not stop. Again her
voice came, strangled and faint:
"I can't bear any more. Stop! Stop!"
One more wild rush, and he obeyed. He was quivering all over when they
came to a stand. Her hold round him grew loose; she was about to slip
down. He turned round in his saddle and caught her about the waist with
his arm. He drew her off the horse and forward to his side. He held her
thus with his arm, exulting in the struggle of his muscles. He held her
close against him and kissed her face. When he let her go and she
reached earth, she sank on the ground and covered her face with both
hands, all her body shaken with her gasps. He sat on his horse for a
moment, looking at her. He drew a deep inspiration, and brushed drops of
sweat from his brow. He was surprised to find that there seemed now
little wind, that the sun was veiled in clouds, that a waggon passed
along the road, that a dog barked from a farmhouse, that the old
ordinary humdrum world was there.
He heard a short stifled sob.
"You're not angry with me?" he said. "I wasn't rough to you? I couldn't
bear to stop at first."
She showed him her face. Her eyes were full of tears; there was a deep
glow on her cheeks, generally so pale. She sprang to her feet and stood
by his horse, looking up at him.
"I angry? You rough? It has been more than I knew happiness could be. I
had no idea joy could be like that, no idea life had anything like that.
And you ask me if I'm angry and if you were rough! You're opening life
to me, showing me why it is good, why I have it, why I want it, what I'm
to do with it. You're opening it all to me. And all the beauties come
out of your dear hand, Grantley. Angry! I know only that you're doing
this for me, only that I must give you in return, in a poor return, all
I have and am and can be--must give you my very, very self."
He was in a momentary reaction of feeling; his earnestness was almost
sombre as he answered:
"God grant you're doing right!"
"I'm doing what I must do, Grantley."
He swung himself off his horse, and the ready smile came to his face.
"I hope you'll find the necessity a permanent one," he said.
She too laughed joyfully as she submitted to his kiss.
It was her whim, urged with the mock imperiousness of a petted slave,
that he should mount again, and she walk by his horse. Thus they wended
their way home through the peace of the evening. She talked now of how
he had first come into her life, of how she had begun to---- She
hesitated, ending, "How I began first to feel you----" and of how,
little by little, the knowledge of the feeling had disclosed itself. She
was wonderfully open and simple, very direct and unabashed; yet there
was nothing that even his fastidious and much-tested taste found
indelicate or even forward. In glad confidence she told all, careless of
keeping any secrets or any defences against him. The seed had quickened
in virgin soil, and the flower had sprung up in a night--almost by
magic, she seemed to fancy. He listened tenderly and indulgently. The
flame of his emotion had burnt down, but there was an after-glow which
made him delightfully content with her, interested and delighted in her,
still more thoroughly satisfied with what he had done, even more glad
that she was different from all the others with whom he had been thrown.
While she displayed to him at once the joy and the spontaneity of her
abandonment of her whole existence and self to him, she made him surer
of his wisdom in taking her and all she offered, more convinced of the
excellence of this disposition of his life. She could give him all he
pictured as desirable--the stretches of tranquillity, the moments of
strong feeling. She had it in her to give both, and she would give all
she had to give. In return he gave her his love. No analysis seemed
needful there. He gave her the love of his heart and the shelter of his
arm; what more he could give her the afternoon had shown. But in the end
it was all contained and summed up in a word--he gave his love.
They came to the crest of the hill where the road dipped down to
Milldean, and paused there.
"What a wonderful afternoon it's been!" she sighed.
The enchantment of it hung about her still, expressing itself in the
gleam of her eyes and in her restlessness.
"It's been a very delightful one," he leaned down and whispered to her.
"It's given us something to look back on always."
"Yes, a great thing to look back on. But even more to look forward to.
It's told us what life is going to be, Grantley. And to think that life
used to mean only that!"
She waved her hand towards Milldean.
Grantley laughed in sheer enjoyment of her. Amusement mingled with his
admiration. His balance had quite come back to him. A review of the
afternoon, of their wild ride, made him give part of his amusement to
his own share in the proceedings. But who expects a man, or need expect
himself, to be wise when he is in love? If there be a chartered season
for sweet folly, it is there.
"Can we always be careering over the downs in the teeth of the wind,
riding into the gold, Sibylla?" he asked her in affectionate mockery.
She looked up at him, answering simply:
"Why not?"
He shook his head with a whimsical smile.
"Whatever else there is, our hearts can be riding together still."
"And when we're old folks? Isn't it only the young who can ride like
that?"
She stood silent for a moment or two. Then she turned her eyes up to his
in silence still, with the colour shining bright on her cheeks. She took
his hand and kissed it. He knew the thought that his words had called
into her mind. He had made the girl think that, when they were old, the
world would not be; there would be young hearts still to ride, young
hearts in whom their hearts should be carried still in the glorious
gallop, young hearts which had drawn life from them.
They parted at the gate of Old Mill House. Grantley urged her to come up
to his house in the evening and bring Jeremy with her, and laughed again
when she said, "Bring Jeremy?" She was confused at the hint in his
laughter, but she laughed too. Then growing grave, she went on:
"No, I won't come to-night. I won't see you again to-night. I want to
realise it, to think it all over."
"Is it so complicated as that? You're looking very serious!"
She broke into a fresh laugh, a laugh of joyful confession.
"No, I don't want to think it over. I really want to live it over, to
live it over alone, many, many times. To be alone with you again up on
the downs there."
"Very well. Send Jeremy up. By now he must be dying for an argument; and
he's probably not on speaking terms with Mrs. Mumple."
He gave her his hand; any warmer farewell there in the village street
was quite against his ways and notions. He observed a questioning look
in her eyes, but it did not occur to him that she was rather surprised
at his wanting Jeremy to come up after dinner. She did not propose to
spend any time with Jeremy.
"I'll tell him you want him," she said; and added in a whisper,
"Good-bye, good-bye, good-bye!"
He walked his horse up the hill, looking back once or twice to the gate
where she stood watching him till a turn of the lane hid him from her
sight. When that happened, he sighed in luxurious contentment, and took
a cigarette from his case.
To her the afternoon had been a wonder-working revelation; to him it
seemed an extremely delightful episode.