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The great sorrow brought upon a family by the death of a loved one
renders the immediate members of the family incapable of attending to
the necessary arrangements for the funeral. The services of an
intimate friend, or a relative, should, therefore, be sought. He
should receive general instructions from the family, after which he
should take entire charge of the arrangements, and relieve them from
all care on the subject. If such a person cannot be had, the
arrangements may be placed in the hands of the sexton of the church
the deceased attended in life, or of some responsible undertaker.
The expenses of the funeral should be in accordance with the means of
the family. No false pride should permit the relatives to incur undue
expense in order to make a showy funeral. At the same time, affection
will dictate that all the marks of respect which you can provide
should be paid to the memory of your beloved dead.
Funeral Invitations.
In some parts of the country it is customary to send notes of
invitation to the funeral to the friends of the deceased and of the
family. These invitations should be printed, neatly and simply, on
mourning paper, with envelopes to match, and should be delivered by a
private messenger. The following is a correct form, the names and
dates to be changed to suit the occasion:
"Yourself and family are respectfully invited to attend the
funeral of DAVID B. JONES, on Tuesday, March 18, 189-, at 11
o'clock A.M., from his late residence, 1926 Amber Street, to
proceed to Laurel Hill Cemetery."
Where the funeral is from a church, the invitation should read:
"Yourself and family are respectfully invited to attend the
funeral of DAVID B. JONES, from the Church of the Holy
Trinity, on Tuesday, March 18, 189-, at 11 o'clock A.M., to
proceed to Laurel Hill Cemetery."
Where such invitations are sent, a list of persons so invited must be
given to the person in charge of the funeral, in order that he may
provide a sufficient number of carriages. No one to whom an invitation
has not been sent should attend such a funeral, nor should those
invited permit anything but an important duty to prevent their
attendance.
When the funeral is at the house, some near relative or intimate
friend should act as usher, and show the company to their seats.
Showing Respect for the Dead.
Preserve a decorous silence in the chamber of death--speak as little
as possible, and then only in low, subdued tones.
The members of the family are not obliged to recognize their
acquaintances. The latter show their sympathy by their presence and
considerate silence.
As the coffin is borne from the house to the hearse, gentlemen who may
be standing at the door or in the street remove their hats, and remain
uncovered until it is placed in the hearse.
The pall-bearers should be chosen from among the intimate friends of
the deceased, and should correspond to him in age and general
character.
With regard to sending flowers, the wishes of the family should be
considered. If you are uncertain upon this point, it is safe to send
them. They should be simple and tasteful.
Letters of condolence are sent to those in bereavement by their
intimate friends. We append a few forms that will be helpful to all
persons who wish to express their sympathy with the bereaved.
To a Lady on the Death of her Husband.
CLEVELAND, O., June 6, 189-.