Are pleasurable affairs. There is no light furnished except by an open
fire. The guests sit around in a circle and tell stories. Each one is
provided with a bunch of twigs, or fagot to be thrown on the fire, the
guest being expected to sing a song, tell a story, give a recitation,
or otherwise amuse the company while his fagot burns.
Conversaziones.
These gatherings, as the name signifies, are devoted entirely to
conversation, and are supposed to be chiefly gatherings of literary
and scientific people. Where one especially fine conversationalist is
the star of the evening, one or two lesser lights should be invited to
share with him the honors of the occasion.
A Country Dinner.
A summer dinner in the country has many pleasant features peculiar to
itself. Chief among these is its lack of formality, and city guests
are always pleasurably entertained at the country dinner table. A good
cook and a competent waitress are necessities.
The flowers that ornament the table must partake of the field and
forest rather than suggest the city hothouse. Slender, light, glass
vases and rose-bowls are best for the light grasses, field flowers and
garden blossoms. Pretty, modern, inexpensive china is sufficient for a
country dinner, and not too much silverware should be used.
Light, clear soups should form the first course (mock turtle or
ox-tail soup is not in order). The roast should be carved away from
the table. Plenty of fresh vegetables should be prepared, that being
one of the privileges of country life. Delightfully fresh salads are
also at command of the suburban householder; and if the dining-room be
cool and large, and therewith the grace be given of a beautiful view,
what greater gift can the gods grant!
Let the housekeeper forbear to serve hot puddings or heavy pastries.
Fruit tarts, the freshest of fruits with great glass pitchers of
country cream, cold custards, gelatine creams of all kinds and ice
cream are always satisfactory; and many substitute for the heavy roast
the lighter dishes of broiled fish, chicken, or chops. A cold boiled
ham on the sideboard adds another dish to the board.
Etiquette of Card Playing and Games.
There is a certain etiquette to be observed in playing all social
games. In card-playing especially this is a necessity. In the first
place, it is the hostess who proposes the game. In the second, no one
who refuses should be urged to join in the amusement. They may have
conscientious scruples, and respect should be shown their principles.
Unless, however, this be the reason, no one should refuse to play from
mere caprice when their presence is required to make up a table.
New packs of cards should be provided by the hostess. Playing for
money, even the smallest amount, should be strictly avoided. It is
unfit for the home parlor.
Those who do not understand playing should not join a set unless
especially urged, as their ignorance is apt to spoil the pleasure of
the others. The fingers should not be wet to deal the cards. Partners
should never exchange signs. Let every one play his best and not act
indifferent to the game.
Do not talk on all manner of topics; it disturbs those who enjoy the
game.
Do not criticise, nor hurry other players.
Never lose temper over a game.
To cheat is extremely ill-bred.
If you have a poor partner manifest no annoyance.
Never reflect upon the playing of your opponents.
Those who have played together so much that they understand one
another's play should not be partners in general company.
Never manifest anger at defeat, nor undue exultation at winning.
These rules, many of them, apply to all other social games, both
outdoors and in.
Outdoor Amusements.
Coaching parties are delightful. They give much latitude for gay,
pretty costumes, and there are few brighter pictures than that of a
tally-ho coach as it dashes along the city boulevards and over the
country roads to the music of jingling chains and winding horns.
[Illustration: OUTDOOR SPORTS.]
Appetites are sharpened by the long drive, and hampers must be well
packed with substantial viands. Potted meats, all manner of
sandwiches, game pies, cold birds, and substantial beef and tongue,
will be sure of appreciation.
(See "Dress," etc., for suitable attire.)
Hunting Parties.
Hunting is very little favored by ladies on this side the water,
though it is occasionally indulged in by a few. The enthusiasm,
however, of a ride to hounds is much dampened by the knowledge that an
anise-seed bag, instead of a fox, furnishes the scent over which the
hounds give eager tongue. Those who attempt to hunt must be at home in
the saddle.
(See "Dress," etc., for appropriate attire.)
Archery, Lawn Tennis and Croquet.
These popular games have their own etiquette, rules, dress, etc., so
thoroughly established that all devotees of these sports understand
the routine without giving it place here.
Never dispute, or show any temper over the outcome of any game.
Boating and Yachting.
Many ladies are quite expert with the oars, and boating, when not
overdone, is a healthful and pleasant amusement. When gentlemen are
with a party of ladies, one of them should step in the boat to steady
it, while another "assists" the ladies in. See that their dress is so
arranged that they will not get wet. Inexperienced rowers should learn
before joining a party.
The stroke oar is the seat of honor. It may be offered to a guest.
Ladies should wear short dresses, free from encumbering draperies,
heavy shoes, and a hat with a broad brim. Heavy gloves, if they intend
rowing, should be worn.
Yachting is a delightful and rather dangerous amusement. Ladies wear
warm wool dresses that water will not injure, made short in the
skirt, and jaunty of cut, with sailor-like emblems for adornment. No
young lady should go out alone with a gentleman either yachting or
rowing. In yachting especially a boat is sometimes becalmed for hours
and even all night. A party composed entirely of young people should
have a chaperon.
Children's Parties.
The celebration of children's birthdays and other little anniversaries
by means of parties, is a pleasant custom and one worthy of
observance. Such red-letter days are long remembered by the little
ones.
The invitations are issued in the children's own names, and may be
written or engraved. Usually they are written upon small note sheets
and enclosed in small envelopes. If the invitation is for a
Christmas-tree, or an Easter-egg hunt, a tiny tree, or a colored egg,
may ornament one corner of the sheet.
The form varies hardly at all: Miss GERTRUDE HALL requests the
pleasure of Miss CLARA WINSHIP'S company, on Wednesday, June
twentieth. From three until five o'clock. 3 Madison Avenue.
These invitations should be carefully and promptly answered in the
same form as given and in the third person. (See "Invitations," etc.)
This teaches the little host or hostess the gravity of their position
as entertainers, and impresses the little guests with the importance
of their behavior. Also giving them an early lesson in the etiquette
of social life.
If it is a birthday party, a birthday cake will be the chief feature,
and it is a pretty fancy to have it decorated with as many tiny wax
candles as there are years in the child's life in whose honor the
party is given. These tapers may be placed around the cake, or put in
tin tubes and sunk into the top of the cake. Light them just before
the little guests are called out to the table.
At the close of the supper the child whose birthday it is, blows out
the candles, and, if old enough, cuts the cake and passes it.
Presents are sometimes brought by the guests, but it is not best to
encourage this fashion.
Dancing or games may follow the supper, and older persons should
constantly superintend the amusements to see that the merriment does
not flag, nor the little folks become too boisterous.
At an Easter party, dainty little egg-shaped boxes, filled with
bon-bons, may be placed at each plate, or else hidden in a room from
which the lighter articles of furniture have been removed, and the
children permitted to search for them. The hunt is the chief pleasure.
If it is a Christmas party the tree is the source of interest, and
often a make-believe Santa Claus adds to the merriment of the
occasion. The refreshments should be simple but fanciful. Make the
table bright as possible--snowballs, cornucopias, lady-fingers,
assorted cakes, love-knots, sandwiches (fancy), crystalized fruits,
tarts, sliced tongue, pressed veal, thin bread and butter, rolled and
tied, ice cream in molds, and one large heavily-frosted cake. A host
of flowers, and the table is complete. Lemonade for a drink, or
perhaps hot chocolate.
The good breeding learned, the opportunities of impressing upon
children the beauty of self-denial and politeness, and of teaching
them to dispense, and to receive hospitalities, and to restrain that
tendency toward favoring certain playmates, so strong in childhood,
will more than repay for the trouble of preparing the feast. Never
permit the party to extend to late hours, and never overdress the
little folks. White is always suitable for girls, and jacket suits for
boys under the age for long trousers.
[Illustration]
Christenings, Confirmations and Graduations.
[Illustration]
Announcement Cards are frequently sent out to all friends immediately
upon the arrival of a little heir or heiress. These cards are
variously worded. One seen by the writer was as follows:
ARRIVED: In Los Gatos, Sunday morning, November third, eighteen
hundred and ninety-five, FLORENCE WESCOTT. Weight, ten pounds; blue
eyes and sound lungs. She sends greeting to all her friends.
A simpler one would be: GREETING: EDITH MAY TOUCEY, November 1, 1895.
Weight, 9-1/2 pounds.
These cards received (or even if they are omitted), the lady friends
and acquaintances call and leave cards with kind inquires or send them
by a servant. Gentlemen do not call, but they are expected to see the
happy father and inquire after mother and child.
When the mother is ready to receive friends she sends out cards to all
that have called "with thanks for kind inquiries," written beneath her
name, or issues invitations for a candle or christening party.
The Christening.
The baptism or christening is performed according to the rites of
whatever church the parents may be members of. If the ceremony is
performed in church, personal fancy has very little play, though it is
almost a law that flowers shall cluster about the place where little
ones are brought for dedication.
If the occasion is to be further celebrated by festivities at the
house they may take whatever form is most agreeable. When the
christening is held at the house and guests are invited, it is
customary to defer the ceremony until the mother is ready to take the
part of hostess; usually until the child is a month or six weeks old.
Invitations are issued for an afternoon or early evening reception.
They may be written or engraved, and are issued in the name of both
parents, thus: MR. and MRS. JAMES GRAY request the pleasure of your
presence at the Christening of their son at half-past four o'clock,
Wednesday, May tenth. 12 Madison Avenue.
Or: MR. and MRS. JOHN THURSTON request the honor of MR. and MRS.
BROWN'S presence at the Christening of their daughter on Thursday, May
11th, at three o'clock. Reception from two to five, 150 Delaware
Place. Sometimes the words, "No presents expected," are added to the
invitation.
Attendance at the Ceremony.
These invitations are promptly answered, and those who attend should
wear a reception dress. The solemnity of the occasion should be
recognized by the appearance, previous to the hour named, of all who
expect to be present. Those who cannot be in time to witness the
ceremony should defer their arrival until a sufficient time has
elapsed to allow of its completion.
A temporary font is placed in a central position. This is best
arranged by banking up the top of a small round table with mosses,
smilax and delicate ferns, while the top, outside the rim of the bowl
holding the china basin containing the water, is a mass of white
flowers.
The drawing-room may be decorated with blossoms, and vocal or
instrumental music is usually provided. Hired musicians are sometimes
engaged. See that the selections are suitable to the sacred character
of the occasion. Friends are sometimes asked to give two or three
vocal selections.
At the appointed time the father and mother stand before the clergyman
at the font and receive their child from the nurse or some friend; the
godparents range themselves on either side, and the clergyman
proceeds with the service. If the parents are able, the clergyman is
usually given a handsome fee on these occasions.
Congratulations are offered the father and mother, and the baby, robed
elaborately, then becomes the center of attraction for a few moments,
until the host leads the way to the refreshment table which is
bountifully spread as for a reception.
A toast in the child's honor is often given at this time by one of the
sponsors. Guests shortly disperse. After calls are made, or cards
left, within ten days. Sometimes relatives only are invited to these
parties. When the christening is held in church, the party is set for
some hour of the same day.
Godfathers and Godmothers.
In selecting godparents or sponsors, relatives are often given
precedence and very close friends come next. Be careful in the choice,
as from these godparents is to be expected much good counsel and
kindly aid in the future. In all old countries this relationship is
expected to last for a lifetime, and the godparents are supposed to
watch over the religious growth of the child and see that in due time
he is brought forward for confirmation, or for union with the church
in some other manner.
A boy is expected to have two godfathers and one godmother; a girl one
godfather and two godmothers. A note is sent to each person selected
as sponsor asking him to assume that friendly office. This request
should never be refused except for good and sufficient reason.
Godparents usually make a present to the child, generally in the form
of some suitable silver article. Among the very wealthy, especially if
the child bears the godfather's name, very valuable presents are often
made, these generally taking the form of checks for large amounts.
Candle Party.
The modern candle party is given when the child is about six weeks
old, and is quite a separate affair from the christening, the church
having objected in some cases to having the two celebrated at the same
time. Candle parties, simply in the nature of a name-festival, are
frequently given when the christening is not observed.
Invitations are sent out one week in advance, and are in the following
form: MR. and MRS. BROWN request your company, Wednesday afternoon, at
three. CANDLE. 125 Vancouver Street. No presents expected.
The words, "no presents," need not prevent any who wish from making a
gift, but relieves those who may not be prepared.
The phrase, "Candle Party," is somewhat difficult to define, but the
name and the custom have come down from olden times. It used then to
be the habit to serve all who called with inquiries and
congratulations on the arrival of a little stranger, with a kind of
spiced gruel, flavored with rum or Madeira, and known as "candle."
This was served in china cups having two handles, so they could be
passed from one to another. These were called "candle cups," and are
much prized heirlooms in more than one old family. This ceremony was
then observed when the child was three days old; now the "candle
party" is celebrated when it is at least six weeks old.
The mother receives her guests in some elaborate house gown, the baby
in robes of state is on exhibition for a short time, and the guests
are served with "candle" in the form of an oatmeal gruel, long and
slowly boiled with raisins and spices, and fine old Madeira or rum
added at the last until the beverage is "to the Queen's taste."
Christening Gifts.
When the announcement cards of a baby's birth are sent out, very many
friends of the family interpret this as an opportunity for making a
present to the new arrival. This is not a new social custom, for its
origin goes back to the time of the Chaldean shepherds, when wise men
of the East journeyed to the stable cradle to present their gifts of
frankincense and myrrh.
The most sensible plan in this case, and, in fact, in all gift making,
is to consult the condition of the recipient as well as the purse of
the giver. If the parental purse is a little slim, gifts that are
useful are generally the best to give. Dainty gowns, embroidered
flannels, coach rugs, things that every baby needs.
The least expensive and simplest gifts and always of use, are the lace
pin, shoulder pin and chained buttons in gold. Three pins connected by
delicate gold chains are very much in demand, and a studding of
turquoise of pearl adds much to their beauty. The dear little
silver-backed brushes and powder boxes have always been favorites.
One exquisite present from a point of sentiment and value was recently
presented to a girl. Each of her father's groomsmen sent a five-dollar
gold piece to the goldsmith, who melted them down and transformed them
into a gold chain and locket. The locket bore the monogram of the baby
and the initial letter of each groomsman's name.
Dainty Presents for the Newcomer.
Another tiny new woman received from her grandmother a spoon which was
made of little bits of silver melted down. A silver piece taken from
the pocket of a dead aunt, two or three bits left in the purse of the
grandfather, who had died; a bit of a broken spoon used by the baby's
own mamma--these and other souvenirs of the family history made the
gift spoon something far out of the ordinary.
One of the most magnificent and costly gifts in silver that is given
to the baby is the entire food set, consisting of plate, bowl,
pitcher, knife and fork, spoon and napkin ring. These sets come in
cases and range in prices ordinarily from $50 to $150, though some
very elaborate ones may be ordered which go far into the hundreds.
A very pretty and surely most interesting gift that could be sent to a
baby is a baby diary in which the principal events of the little one's
life can be entered by the mother and kept in after years as a record
of those marvelously interesting days of babyhood.
A certain very sensible woman usually deposits a small sum of money in
[Transcriber's Note: a] bank and presents the bank book to her little
new friend, thus laying the foundation for future habits of economy
and thrift.
Some Birthday Superstitions.
Monday's child is fair of face.
Tuesday's child is full of grace.
Wednesday's child is born for woe.
Thursday's child has far to go.
Friday's child is loving and giving.
Saturday's child must work for a living.
But the child that is born on the Sabbath day,
Is bonny and happy and wealthy and gay.