The Troubles of the Ottleys
'Bruce', said Edith, 'you won't forget we're dining with your people
tonight?'
'It's a great nuisance.'
'Oh, Bruce!'
'It's such an infernally long way.'
'It's only to Kensington.'
'West Kensington. It's off the map. I'm not an explorer--I don't pretend
to be.' He paused a moment, then went on, 'And it's not only the
frightful distance and the expense of getting there, but when I do get
there.... Do you consider that my people treat me with proper
deference?'
'With proper _what?_' asked Edith.
'Deference. I admit I like deference. I need it--I require it; and at my
people's--well, frankly, I don't get it.'
'If you need it,' said Edith, 'I hope you will get it. But remember they
are your father and mother.'
'What do you mean by that?'
'Well, I mean they know you very well, of course ... and all that.'
'Do you imply...?'
'Oh, no, Bruce dear,' she answered hastily; 'of course I don't. But
really I think your people are charming'
'To _you_ I know they are,' said he. 'It's all very well for you. They are
awfully fond of _you_. You and my mother can talk about Archie and his
nurse and housekeeping and fashions, and it's very jolly for you, but
where's the fun for a man of the world?'
'Your father--' began Edith.
'My father!' Bruce took a turn round the room. 'I don't mind telling
you, Edith, I don't consider my father a man of the world. Why, good
heavens! when we are alone together, what do you suppose he talks about?
He complains! Finds fault, if you please! Says I don't work--makes out
I'm extravagant! Have _you_ ever found me extravagant?'
'No, indeed. I'm sure you've never been extravagant--to _me_.'
'He's not on my level intellectually in any way. I doubt very much if
he's capable of understanding me at all. Still, I suppose we might as
well go and get it over. My people's dinners are a most awful bore
to me.'
'How would you like it,' said Edith gently, 'if some day Archie were to
call us my people, and talk about us as you do of yours?'
'Archie!' shouted Bruce. 'Good heavens! Archie!' Bruce held out his arm
with a magnificent gesture. 'If Archie ever treats me with any want of
proper deference, I shall cut him off with a shilling!'
'Do give me the shilling for him now,' said Edith laughing.
The elder Mrs Ottley was a sweet woman, with a resigned smile and a
sense of humour. She had a great admiration for Edith, who was very fond
of her. No-one else was there on this occasion. Bruce always complained
equally, regarding it as a slight if they were asked alone, and a bore
if it was a dinner party. The elder Mr Ottley was considerably older
than his wife, and was a handsome, clean-shaven elderly man with a
hooked nose and a dry manner. The conversation at dinner consisted of
vague attempts on Bruce's part to talk airy generalities, which were
always brought back by his father to personalities more or less
unflattering to Bruce.
Edith and Mrs Ottley, fearing an explosion, which happened rather
frequently when Bruce and his father were together, combined their
united energy to ward it off.
'And what do you intend the boy to be when he grows up?' asked old Mr
Ottley. 'Are you going to make him a useful member of society, or a
Foreign Office clerk?'
'I intend my son,' said Bruce--'(a little port, please. Thanks.)--I
intend my son to be a Man of the World.'
His father gave a slight snort.
'Be very careful,' said Mrs Ottley to Edith, 'not to let the darling
catch cold in his perambulator this weather. Spring is so treacherous!'
'Does he seem to show any particular bent for anything? I suppose
hardly--yet?'
'Well, he's very fond of soldiers,' said Edith.
'Ah!' said Mr Ottley approvingly; 'what we want for empire-building is
conscription. Every fellow ought to be a soldier some time in his life.
It makes men of them '--he glanced round rather contemptuously--'it
teaches them discipline.'
'I don't mean,' said Edith hastily, 'that he wants to _be_ a soldier.
But he likes playing with them. He takes them to bed with him. It is as
much as I can do to keep him from eating them.'
'The angel!' said Mrs Ottley.
'You must be careful about that, Edith,' said Bruce solemnly. 'I
understand red paint is poisonous.'
'It won't hurt him,' said old Mr Ottley, purely from a spirit of
contradiction.
'But he's just as fond of animals,' said Edith quickly, to avert a
storm. 'That Noah's Ark you gave him is his greatest pleasure. He's
always putting the animals in and taking them out again.'
'Oh, the clever darling!' cried Mrs Ottley. 'You'd hardly believe it,
Edith, but Bruce was like that when he was a little boy too. He
used to--'
'Oh mother, do shut up!' said Bruce shame-facedly.
'Well, he was very clever,' said Mrs Ottley defiantly. 'You'd hardly
think so now perhaps, but the things that child used to say!'
'Don't spoil Archie as his mother spoilt Bruce,' said Mr. Ottley.
'Have you seen the new play at His Majesty's?' asked Bruce.
'No, I haven't. I went to the theatre _last_ year,' said old Mr Ottley.
'_I_ haven't heaps of money to spend on superfluous amusements.'
'Bruce, you're not eating anything,' said Mrs Ottley anxiously. 'Do try
some of these almonds and raisins. They're so good! I always get almonds
and raisins at Harrod's now.'
Edith seemed much interested, and warmly assented to the simple
proposition that they were the best almonds and raisins in the world.
The ladies retired.
'Most trying Mr Ottley's been lately,' said Mrs Ottley. 'Extremely
worrying. Do you suppose I have had a single instant to go and order a
new bonnet? Not a second! Has Bruce been tiresome at all?'
'Oh, no, he doesn't mean to be,' said Edith.
Mrs Ottley pressed her hand. 'Darling I _know_ what it is. What a sweet
dress! You have the most perfect taste. I don't care what people say,
those Empire dresses are most trying. I think you're so right not to
give in to it as so many young women are doing. Fashion indeed! Hiding
your waist under a bushel instead of being humbly thankful that you've
got one! Archie is the sweetest darling. I see very little likeness to
Bruce, or his father. I think he takes after _my_ family, with a great
look of you, dear. Most unfortunately, his father thinks Bruce is a
little selfish ... too fond of pleasure. But he's a great deal at home,
isn't he, dear?'
'Yes, indeed,' said Edith, with a slight sigh. 'I think it's only that
he's always been a little bit spoilt. No wonder, the only son! But he's
a great dear, really.'
His mother shook her head. 'Dear loyal girl! I used to be like that too.
May I give you a slight hint? Never contradict. Never oppose him. Agree
with him, then he'll change his mind; or if he doesn't, say you'll do as
he wishes, and act afterwards in the matter as your own judgement
dictates. He'll never find it out. What's that?'
A door banged, hasty steps were heard. Bruce came into the drawing-room
alone, looking slightly flushed and agitated.
'Where's your father?' asked Mrs Ottley.
'Gone to his study.... We'd better be getting home, Edith.'
Edith and Mrs Ottley exchanged glances. They had not been able to
prevent the explosion after all.