CHAPTER XXXIII

And now the author of the System was on trial under the eyes of the

lady who loved him. What so kind as they? Yet are they very rigorous,

those soft watchful woman’s eyes. If you are below the measure they

have made of you, you will feel it in the fulness of time. She cannot

but show you that she took you for a giant, and has had to come down a

bit. You feel yourself strangely diminishing in those sweet mirrors,

till at last they drop on you complacently level. But, oh beware, vain

man, of ever waxing enamoured of that wonderful elongation of a male

creature you saw reflected in her adoring upcast orbs! Beware of

assisting to delude her! A woman who is not quite a fool will forgive

your being but a man, if you are surely that: she will haply learn to

acknowledge that no mortal tailor could have fitted that figure she

made of you respectably, and that practically (though she sighs to

think it) her ideal of you was on the pattern of an overgrown

charity-boy in the regulation jacket and breech. For this she first

scorns the narrow capacities of the tailor, and then smiles at herself.

But shouldst thou, when the hour says plainly, Be thyself, and the

woman is willing to take thee as thou art, shouldst thou still aspire

to be that thing of shanks and wrests, wilt thou not seem contemptible

as well as ridiculous? And when the fall comes, will it not be flat on

thy face, instead of to the common height of men? You may fall miles

below her measure of you, and be safe: nothing is damaged save an

overgrown charity-boy; but if you fall below the common height of men,

you must make up your mind to see her rustle her gown, spy at the

looking-glass, and transfer her allegiance. The moral of which is, that

if we pretend to be what we are not, woman, for whose amusement the

farce is performed, will find us out and punish us for it. And it is

usually the end of a sentimental dalliance.

Had Sir Austin given vent to the pain and wrath it was natural he

should feel, he might have gone to unphilosophic excesses, and, however

much he lowered his reputation as a sage, Lady Blandish would have

excused him: she would not have loved him less for seeing him closer.

But the poor gentleman tasked his soul and stretched his muscles to act

up to her conception of him. He, a man of science in life, who was

bound to be surprised by nothing in nature, it was not for him to do

more than lift his eyebrows and draw in his lips at the news delivered

by Ripton Thompson, that ill bird at Raynham.

All he said, after Ripton had handed the letters and carried his

penitential headache to bed, was: “You see, Emmeline, it is useless to

base any system on a human being.”

A very philosophical remark for one who has been busily at work

building for nearly twenty years. Too philosophical to seem genuine. It

revealed where the blow struck sharpest. Richard was no longer the

Richard of his creation—his pride and his joy—but simply a human being

with the rest. The bright star had sunk among the mass.

And yet, what had the young man done? And in what had the System

failed?

The lady could not but ask herself this, while she condoled with the

offended father.

“My friend,” she said, tenderly taking his hand before she retired, “I

know how deeply you must be grieved. I know what your disappointment

must be. I do not beg of you to forgive him now. You cannot doubt his

love for this young person, and according to his light, has he not

behaved honourably, and as you would have wished, rather than bring her

to shame? You will think of that. It has been an accident—a

misfortune—a terrible misfortune”...

“The God of this world is in the machine—not out of it,” Sir Austin

interrupted her, and pressed her hand to get the good-night over.

At any other time her mind would have been arrested to admire the

phrase; now it seemed perverse, vain, false, and she was tempted to

turn the meaning that was in it against himself, much as she pitied

him.

“You know, Emmeline,” he added, “I believe very little in the fortune,

or misfortune, to which men attribute their successes and reverses.

They are useful impersonations to novelists; but my opinion is

sufficiently high of flesh and blood to believe that we make our own

history without intervention. Accidents?—Terrible misfortunes?—What are

they?—Good-night.”

“Good-night,” she said, looking sad and troubled. “When I said,

‘misfortune,’ I meant, of course, that he is to blame; but—shall I

leave you his letter to me?”

“I think I have enough to meditate upon,” he replied, coldly bowing.

“God bless you,” she whispered. “And—may I say it? do not shut your

heart.”

He assured her that he hoped not to do so and the moment she was gone

he set about shutting it as tight as he could.

If, instead of saying, Base no system on a human being, he had said,

Never experimentalize with one, he would have been nearer the truth of

his own case. He had experimented on humanity in the person of the son

he loved as his life, and at once, when the experiment appeared to have

failed, all humanity’s failings fell on the shoulders of his son.

Richard’s parting laugh in the train—it was explicable now: it sounded

in his ears like the mockery of this base nature of ours at every

endeavour to exalt and chasten it. The young man had plotted this. From

step to step Sir Austin traced the plot. The curious mask he had worn

since his illness; the selection of his incapable uncle Hippias for a

companion in preference to Adrian; it was an evident, well-perfected

plot. That hideous laugh would not be silenced: Base, like the rest,

treacherous, a creature of passions using his abilities solely to

gratify them—never surely had humanity such chances as in him! A

Manichaean tendency, from which the sententious eulogist of nature had

been struggling for years (and which was partly at the bottom of the

System), now began to cloud and usurp dominion of his mind. As he sat

alone in the forlorn dead-hush of his library, he saw the devil.

How are we to know when we are at the head and fountain of the fates of

them we love?

There by the springs of Richard’s future, his father sat: and the devil

said to him: “Only be quiet: do nothing: resolutely do nothing: your

object now is to keep a brave face to the world, so that all may know

you superior to this human nature that has deceived you. For it is the

shameless deception, not the marriage, that has wounded you.”

“Ay!” answered the baronet, “the shameless deception, not the marriage:

wicked and ruinous as it must be; a destroyer of my tenderest hopes! my

dearest schemes! Not the marriage—the shameless deception!” and he

crumpled up his son’s letter to him, and tossed it into the fire.

How are we to distinguish the dark chief of the Manichaeans when he

talks our own thoughts to us?

Further he whispered, “And your System:—if you would be brave to the

world, have courage to cast the dream of it out of you: relinquish an

impossible project; see it as it is—dead: too good for men!”

“Ay!” muttered the baronet: “all who would save them perish on the

Cross!”

And so he sat nursing the devil.

By and by he took his lamp, and put on the old cloak and cap, and went

to gaze at Ripton. That exhausted debauchee and youth without a destiny

slept a dead sleep. A handkerchief was bound about his forehead, and

his helpless sunken chin and snoring nose projected up the pillow, made

him look absurdly piteous. The baronet remembered how often he had

compared his boy with this one: his own bright boy! And where was the

difference between them?

“Mere outward gilding!” said his familiar.

“Yes,” he responded, “I daresay this one never positively plotted to

deceive his father: he followed his appetites unchecked, and is

internally the sounder of the two.”

Ripton, with his sunken chin and snoring nose under the light of the

lamp, stood for human nature, honest, however abject.

“Miss Random, I fear very much, is a necessary establishment!”

whispered the monitor.

“Does the evil in us demand its natural food, or it corrupts the

whole?” ejaculated Sir Austin. “And is no angel of avail till that is

drawn off? And is that our conflict—to see whether we can escape the

contagion of its embrace, and come uncorrupted out of that?”

“The world is wise in its way,” said the voice.

“Though it look on itself through Port wine?” he suggested, remembering

his lawyer Thompson.

“Wise in not seeking to be too wise,” said the voice.

“And getting intoxicated on its drug of comfort!”

“Human nature is weak.”

“And Miss Random is an establishment, and Wild Oats an institution!”

“It always has been so.”

“And always will be?”

“So I fear! in spite of your very noble efforts.”

“And leads—whither? And ends—where?”

Richard’s laugh, taken up by horrid reverberations, as it were through

the lengths of the Lower Halls, replied.

This colloquy of two voices in a brain was concluded by Sir Austin

asking again if there were no actual difference between the flower of

his hopes and yonder drunken weed, and receiving for answer that there

was a decided dissimilarity in the smell of the couple; becoming

cognizant of which he retreated.

Sir Austin did not battle with the tempter. He took him into his bosom

at once, as if he had been ripe for him, and received his suggestions

and bowed to his dictates. Because he suffered, and decreed that he

would suffer silently, and be the only sufferer, it seemed to him that

he was great-minded in his calamity. He had stood against the world.

The world had beaten him. What then? He must shut his heart and mask

his face; that was all. To be far in advance of the mass, is as

fruitless to mankind, he reflected, as straggling in the rear. For how

do we know that they move behind us at all, or move in our track? What

we win for them is lost; and where we are overthrown we lie!

It was thus that a fine mind and a fine heart at the bounds of a nature

not great, chose to colour his retrogression and countenance his

shortcoming; and it was thus that he set about ruining the work he had

done. He might well say, as he once did, that there are hours when the

clearest soul becomes a cunning fox. For a grief that was private and

peculiar, he unhesitatingly cast the blame upon humanity; just as he

had accused it in the period of what he termed his own ordeal. How had

he borne that? By masking his face. And he prepared the ordeal for his

son by doing the same. This was by no means his idea of a man’s duty in

tribulation, about which he could be strenuously eloquent.

But it was his instinct so to act, and in times of trial great natures

alone are not at the mercy of their instincts. Moreover it would cost

him pain to mask his face; pain worse than that he endured when there

still remained an object for him to open his heart to in proportion;

and he always reposed upon the Spartan comfort of bearing pain and

being passive. “Do nothing,” said the devil he nursed; which meant in

his case, “Take me into you and don’t cast me out.” Excellent and sane

is the outburst of wrath to men, when it stops short of slaughter. For

who that locks it up to eat in solitary, can say that it is consumed?

Sir Austin had as weak a digestion for wrath, as poor Hippias for a

green duckling. Instead of eating it, it ate him. The wild beast in him

was not the less deadly because it did not roar, and the devil in him

not the less active because he resolved to do nothing.

He sat at the springs of Richard’s future, in the forlorn dead-hush of

his library there, hearing the cinders click in the extinguished fire,

and that humming stillness in which one may fancy one hears the

midnight Fates busily stirring their embryos. The lamp glowed mildly on

the bust of Chatham.

Toward morning a gentle knock fell at his door. Lady Blandish glided

in. With hasty step she came straight to him, and took both his hands.

“My friend,” she said, speaking tearfully, and trembling, “I feared I

should find you here. I could not sleep. How is it with you?”

“Well! Emmeline, well!” he replied, torturing his brows to fix the

mask.

He wished it had been Adrian who had come to him. He had an

extraordinary longing for Adrian’s society. He knew that the wise youth

would divine how to treat him, and he mentally confessed to just enough

weakness to demand a certain kind of management. Besides, Adrian, he

had not a doubt, would accept him entirely as he seemed, and not pester

him in any way by trying to unlock his heart; whereas a woman, he

feared, would be waxing too womanly, and swelling from tears and

supplications to a scene, of all things abhorred by him the most. So he

rapped the floor with his foot, and gave the lady no very welcome face

when he said it was well with him.

She sat down by his side, still holding one hand firmly, and softly

detaining the other.

“Oh, my friend! may I believe you? May I speak to you?” She leaned

close to him. “You know my heart. I have no better ambition than to be

your friend. Surely I divide your grief, and may I not claim your

confidence? Who has wept more over your great and dreadful sorrows? I

would not have come to you, but I do believe that sorrow shared

relieves the burden, and it is now that you may feel a woman’s aid, and

something of what a woman could be to you....”

“Be assured,” he gravely said, “I thank you, Emmeline, for your

intentions.”

“No, no! not for my intentions! And do not thank me. Think of

him...think of your dear boy... Our Richard, as we have called him.—Oh!

do not think it a foolish superstition of mine, but I have had a

thought this night that has kept me in torment till I rose to speak to

you... Tell me first you have forgiven him.”

“A father bears no malice to his son, Emmeline.”

“Your heart has forgiven him?”

“My heart has taken what he gave.”

“And quite forgiven him?”

“You will hear no complaints of mine.”

The lady paused despondingly, and looked at him in a wistful manner,

saying with a sigh, “Yes! I know how noble you are, and different from

others!”

He drew one of his hands from her relaxed hold.

“You ought to be in bed, Emmeline.”

“I cannot sleep.”

“Go, and talk to me another time.”

“No, it must be now. You have helped me when I struggled to rise into a

clearer world, and I think, humble as I am, I can help you now. I have

had a thought this night that if you do not pray for him and bless

him...it will end miserably. My friend, have you done so?”

He was stung and offended, and could hardly help showing it in spite of

his mask.

“Have you done so, Austin?”

“This is assuredly a new way of committing fathers to the follies of

their sons, Emmeline!”

“No, not that. But will you pray for your boy, and bless him, before

the day comes?”

He restrained himself to pronounce his words calmly:—“And I must do

this, or it will end in misery? How else can it end? Can I save him

from the seed he has sown? Consider, Emmeline, what you say. He has

repeated his cousin’s sin. You see the end of that.”

“Oh, so different! This young person is not, is not of the class poor

Austin Wentworth allied himself to. Indeed it is different. And he—be

just and admit his nobleness. I fancied you did. This young person has

great beauty, she has the elements of good breeding, she—indeed I

think, had she been in another position, you would not have looked upon

her unfavourably.”

“She may be too good for my son!” The baronet spoke with sublime

bitterness.

“No woman is too good for Richard, and you know it.”

“Pass her.”

“Yes, I will speak only of him. He met her by a fatal accident. We

thought his love dead, and so did he till he saw her again. He met her,

he thought we were plotting against him, he thought he should lose her

for ever, and in the madness of an hour he did this....”

“My Emmeline pleads bravely for clandestine matches.”

“Ah! do not trifle, my friend. Say: would you have had him act as young

men in his position generally do to young women beneath them?”

Sir Austin did not like the question. It probed him very severely.

“You mean,” he said, “that fathers must fold their arms, and either

submit to infamous marriages, or have these creatures ruined.”

“I do not mean that,” exclaimed the lady, striving for what she did

mean, and how to express it. “I mean that he loved her. Is it not a

madness at his age? But what I chiefly mean is—save him from the

consequences. No, you shall not withdraw your hand. Think of his pride,

his sensitiveness, his great wild nature—wild when he is set wrong:

think how intense it is, set upon love; think, my friend, do not forget

his love for you.”

Sir Austin smiled an admirable smile of pity.

“That I should save him, or any one, from consequences, is asking more

than the order of things will allow to you, Emmeline, and is not in the

disposition of this world. I cannot. Consequences are the natural

offspring of acts. My child, you are talking sentiment, which is the

distraction of our modern age in everything—a phantasmal vapour

distorting the image of the life we live. You ask me to give him a

golden age in spite of himself. All that could be done, by keeping him

in the paths of virtue and truth, I did. He is become a man, and as a

man he must reap his own sowing.”

The baffled lady sighed. He sat so rigid: he spoke so securely, as if

wisdom were to him more than the love of his son. And yet he did love

his son. Feeling sure that he loved his son while he spoke so loftily,

she reverenced him still, baffled as she was, and sensible that she had

been quibbled with.

“All I ask of you is to open your heart to him,” she said.

He kept silent.

“Call him a man,—he is, and must ever be the child of your education,

my friend.”

“You would console me, Emmeline, with the prospect that, if he ruins

himself, he spares the world of young women. Yes, that is something!”

Closely she scanned the mask. It was impenetrable. He could meet her

eyes, and respond to the pressure of her hand, and smile, and not show

what he felt. Nor did he deem it hypocritical to seek to maintain his

elevation in her soft soul, by simulating supreme philosophy over

offended love. Nor did he know that he had an angel with him then: a

blind angel, and a weak one, but one who struck upon his chance.

“Am I pardoned for coming to you?” she said, after a pause.

“Surely I can read my Emmeline’s intentions,” he gently replied.

“Very poor ones. I feel my weakness. I cannot utter half I have been

thinking. Oh, if I could!”

“You speak very well, Emmeline.”

“At least, I am pardoned!”

“Surely so.”

“And before I leave you, dear friend, shall I be forgiven?—may I beg

it?—will you bless him?”

He was again silent.

“Pray for him, Austin! pray for him ere the night is over.”

As she spoke she slid down to his feet and pressed his hand to her

bosom.

The baronet was startled. In very dread of the soft fit that wooed him,

he pushed back his chair, and rose, and went to the window.

“It’s day already!” he said with assumed vivacity, throwing open the

shutters, and displaying the young light on the lawn.

Lady Blandish dried her tears as she knelt, and then joined him, and

glanced up silently at Richard’s moon standing in wane toward the West.

She hoped it was because of her having been premature in pleading so

earnestly, that she had failed to move him, and she accused herself

more than the baronet. But in acting as she had done, she had treated

him as no common man, and she was compelled to perceive that his heart

was at present hardly superior to the hearts of ordinary men, however

composed his face might be, and apparently serene his wisdom. From that

moment she grew critical of him, and began to study her idol—a process

dangerous to idols. He, now that she seemed to have relinquished the

painful subject, drew to her, and as one who wished to smooth a

foregone roughness, murmured: “God’s rarest blessing is, after all, a

good woman! My Emmeline bears her sleepless night well. She does not

shame the day.” He gazed down on her with a fondling tenderness.

“I could bear many, many!” she replied, meeting his eyes, “and you

would see me look better and better, if... if only...” but she had no

encouragement to end the sentence.

Perhaps he wanted some mute form of consolation; perhaps the handsome

placid features of the dark-eyed dame touched him: at any rate their

Platonism was advanced by his putting an arm about her. She felt the

arm and talked of the morning.

Thus proximate, they by and by both heard something very like a groan

behind them, and looking round, beheld the Saurian eye. Lady Blandish

smiled, but the baronet’s discomposure was not to be concealed. By a

strange fatality every stage of their innocent loves was certain to

have a human beholder.

“Oh, I’m sure I beg pardon,” Benson mumbled, arresting his head in a

melancholy pendulosity. He was ordered out of the room.

“And I think I shall follow him, and try to get forty winks,” said Lady

Blandish. They parted with a quiet squeeze of hands.

The baronet then called in Benson.

“Get me my breakfast as soon as you can,” he said, regardless of the

aspect of injured conscience Benson sombrely presented to him. “I am

going to town early. And, Benson,” he added, “you will also go to town

this afternoon, or to-morrow, if it suits you, and take your book with

you to Mr. Thompson. You will not return here. A provision will be made

for you. You can go.”

The heavy butler essayed to speak, but the tremendous blow and the

baronet’s gesture choked him. At the door he made another effort which

shook the rolls of his loose skin pitiably. An impatient signal sent

him out dumb,—and Raynham was quit of the one believer in the Great

Shaddock dogma.

The Ordeal of Richard Feverel — Complete · 第 33 / 45 章