HOW AN OLD BACHELOR MAKES LOVE.
The dwellings of the numerous officials attached to Odensburg, formed
quite a little town of themselves; there also was Dr. Hagenbach's
house, a small villa, in the Swiss style. It had evidently been built
for a larger family, but this elderly bachelor had not thought of
marrying, and had been living alone here for years, with an old
housekeeper, to whom was now added his nephew. As physician in chief of
Odensburg, Hagenbach's professional services were constantly in
requisition, but he also frequently had calls from abroad.
To-day, for instance, there sat in his office a patient from abroad,
who, to be sure, did not look at all like a sick man. The man was about
forty years old, and very rotund in person, his hands were folded over
a very capacious paunch and his eyes almost disappeared behind full,
puffy, red cheeks. Nevertheless he had a long tale of miseries to
relate, counting up a whole list of ailments, until Hagenbach abruptly
cut him short in the midst of it.
"Oh, I know all that you are telling me, by heart, Herr Willmann. I
have already told you for the last time, that you take too good care of
Number One. If you will not be moderate in eating and drinking, and
take no exercise, the remedies that I have prescribed for you cannot
take effect."
"Be moderate?" repeated Willmann in a soft, melancholy tone. "Dear me!
Doctor, I am moderation itself. But a hotel-keeper, alas! is in that
particular a victim of his calling. I must occasionally sit with my
guests, chatting and drinking--it brings business, you know, and----"
"You take upon yourself this martyrdom with wonderful self-denial. For
all that I care--but then you have given up wanting any help from me, I
perceive. I do not care at all to have outside practice; I have my
hands full here at Odensburg. Why do you not consult my colleague, who
has a great deal more time?"
"Because I have no faith in him," said Herr Willmann solemnly, without
looking the least disconcerted by this harsh declaration. "There is
something about you, Doctor, that inspires a body with confidence."
"Yes, thank God, I throw in the needful grains of rudeness," answered
Hagenbach with composure of soul. "Then people always have confidence
in you. You will take my prescriptions, then? Yes or no?"
"Dear me, I submit to you in every particular. If you knew what I have
stood these last days--those terrible pains in the stomach----"
"For which those good meats and soups are to blame," interposed the
doctor in cold blood.
"And that want of breath, that dizziness in my head----"
"Comes from the beer, to which you daily treat yourself, your own most
regular customer. If you omit the beer, and limit your meals to what is
absolutely necessary to sustain life--" then he began to count off a
list of remedies that almost drove Herr Willmann wild.
"Why, Doctor, that is a veritable hunger-cure," lamented he. "It will
put an end to me!"
"Would you rather fall a victim to your calling?" asked Hagenbach. "It
is all right; but there, go off and leave me in peace!"
The patient sighed deeply and painfully. However, the doctor's
faith-inspiring roughness must have won the victory over his love of
good-living, for he folded his hands and looked up at the ceiling.
"If there's no help for it--in God's name!" said he unctuously.
The physician suddenly started, fastened a sharp glance upon him and
then asked, wholly irrelevantly:
"Have you a brother, Herr Willmann?"
"No, I was the only child of my parents."
"Singular! I was struck with a likeness, that is to say, not exactly a
likeness--on the contrary, you have not a feature like the person I am
referring to."
Herr Willmann softly shook his head, in token that these dark words
were unintelligible to him, while Hagenbach continued: "Can you tell me
whether you have a relative who has been in Africa, in Egypt, in the
Sahara or in some part of a desert in those parts?"
Herr Willmann's full cheeks lost something of their rosy tint, and he
fumbled in an embarrassed way with his gold watch-chain as he answered:
"Yes--a cousin."
"Was he a missionary?"
"Yes, Doctor."
"And then he died of fever?"
"Yes, Doctor."
"Was his name Engelbert?"
"Yes----"
"And what is your own name, pray?"
"Pan--cra--tius," answered Willmann, drawling it out, while he still
kept playing with his watch-chain.
"A fine name! Well then, Herr Pancratius Willmann, in three weeks come
again, and meanwhile, if I should be passing by the 'Golden Lamb' I'll
give you a call to see how you are getting along. Adieu!"
Willmann took his leave with mild thanks for the advice wasted on him,
and Hagenbach was left alone.
"The thing agrees," murmured he to himself. "He is a cousin, then, of
that much lamented Engelbert, whose picture is draped in mourning. They
both have that pious way of turning up their eyes; it seems to be a
family-failing. Shall I tell her about it? I'll take good care not to!
She would send for the dear kinsman on the spot, and then there would
be a repetition of that tale of woe, and a fresh eulogium of eternal
constancy. As for the rest, I must give Dagobert the prescription
I promised, to take with him, as he is about to set out for the
Manor-house."
So saying he went across to his nephew's room, whom he was glad to
find still in. The young man had already made his preparations for
going out. His hat and gloves lay on the table beside a bulky blue
note-book, but he himself stood before the looking-glass, carefully
considering his own precious person. He tied his cravat straight, drew
his fingers through his fair locks, and tried to give a bold air to his
newly-budding mustache.
Finally Dagobert seemed content with the appearance of his outer man:
he retired a few steps, laid his hand most touchingly upon his heart,
sighed profoundly, and then began to say something in a whisper that
could not be heard by the doctor, who gazed upon the scene from the
threshold of the door, with increasing astonishment.
"Fellow, have you turned crazy?" asked he, in his gruff manner.
Dagobert started and turned crimson from embarrassment.
"I believe your brain is cracked, all of a sudden," continued his
uncle, advancing nearer. "What is the meaning of these preparations?"
"I--I am learning English words," declared Dagobert, the doctor,
meanwhile, shaking his head suspiciously.
"English words, with such heart-breaking sighs? That is a remarkable
way to learn."
"It was an English poem, that I was once more----Please, dear uncle,
give it to me--those are my exercises!"
Like a bird of prey Dagobert swooped upon the table, clutching at the
blue pamphlet, but too late, the doctor had already opened it and begun
to turn over its leaves.
"Why so excited? You evidently need not be ashamed of your work and
seem to have gotten tolerably far. Miss Friedberg, too, has given
herself a great deal of trouble about you, and I hope you are grateful
for it."
"Yes, indeed, she has given herself trouble--I have given myself
trouble--we have given ourselves trouble," stammered Dagobert, who,
manifestly did not know what he was saying, for his eyes were directed
in agony to the hand of his uncle, who turned over one page after the
other, while he dryly remarked:
"Well, if that is the way you are going to stammer out your thanks, she
will not be greatly edified by them--yes, what is this, pray?"
He had stumbled upon a page laid loosely in, at the sight of which his
unhappy nephew was ready to expire.
"'To Leonie!'" read Hagenbach aghast. "Here are verses!
"'Oh! be not angry if I fall
A suppliant at thy feet----'
"Oh! Oh, what does that mean?"
Dagobert stood there like a surprised criminal, while the doctor read
the poem through, which was nothing more nor less than a full
declaration of love to the secretly adored preceptress, vowing that
these feelings should last forever, with the most solemn of oaths.
It was some while before Hagenbach could take in the idea, so monstrous
did it seem to him. But when he finally apprehended the true
significance of all this, a storm as of thunder and lightning burst
forth upon Dagobert's devoted head. He patiently submitted to being
lectured for a long while, but since it seemed as if the tempest was to
know no end, he made an attempt at retort.
"Uncle, I owe you gratitude," said he solemnly, "but when the question
concerns the most sacred feelings of my heart, there is an end put to
your power as to my obedience. Yes, I love Leonie, I worship her--and
that is no crime."
"But it is a folly!" cried the doctor, angrily, "a folly, such as has
never been before! A youth who is just out of school, and not yet a
student--and in love with a lady, who could be his mother. Such, then,
were your 'English words'! It was a declaration of love, then, that you
were studying before the looking-glass! Well, I shall open Miss
Friedberg's eyes to the character of her pretty scholar, and you may be
thankful to be out of the way when she learns the story. She will be
indignant, infuriated."
He grimly folded the fatal sheet together and put it in his pocket. The
young man saw the verses that he had forged, in the sweat of his brow,
disappear in the coat-pocket of his unfeeling relative, and the spirit
of despair gave back to him his self-possession.
"I am no longer a boy," declared he, smiting upon his breast. "You have
no appreciation of the feelings that stir in a young man's bosom. Your
heart has long since been dead. When the hoar-frost of age already
covers your head----"
He suddenly stopped and took refuge as speedily as possible behind the
great arm-chair, for the doctor, who could not stand the allusions to
his gray hair, advanced upon him threateningly.
"I forbid such personalities!" cried he, raging. "Hoar-frost of age,
forsooth? How old do you think I am? You are fancying that this old
uncle will soon be departing this life, but I shall not think of such a
thing for a long while to come, mark that! I am now going to Miss
Friedberg with your scribbling, and meanwhile you can let the feelings
in your youthful breast storm and bluster away; it will be quite a nice
little entertainment!"
"Uncle, you have no right to mock at my love," said Dagobert, somewhat
dejectedly from behind his arm-chair--but the doctor was already
outside the door, on his way to his sitting-room, whence he got his hat
and cane.
"Hoar-frost of old age!" growled he. "Silly fellow! I'll teach him
whether my heart is dead or not! You are to be surprised!" And so
saying, at a rapid pace he set off for the Manor-house.
Leonie Friedberg sat at her desk, finishing a letter, when the doctor
was announced; amazed she looked up:
"What, is that you, Doctor? I was just looking for Dagobert, he is
generally so punctual."
"Dagobert is not coming to-day," answered Hagenbach shortly.
"Why not? Is he unwell?"
"No, but I have ordered him to stay at home--the accursed boy!"
"You are too hard upon the young man. You always treat him as though he
were still a boy, although he is twenty years old!"
The doctor hardly listened to the fault found with him, but seated
himself and continued wrathfully:
"A wretched tale he has gotten up again. I ought not to tell you,
properly, but spare you the vexation. However, there is no help for it,
you must learn about it."
"Heavens! What has happened?" asked Leonie, uneasily. "Nothing serious,
I hope?"
Hagenbach's looks certainly portended something serious, as he drew
forth his nephew's poetic effusion from his coat-pocket, and handed it
to the lady with the air of one bringing the worst of news.
"Read, please!"
Leonie began to read, conning the verse from beginning to end with an
indescribable tranquillity, nay, a smile even quivered about her lips.
The doctor, who waited in vain for an expression of indignation, saw
himself, finally, compelled to come to the aid of her understanding.
"It is a poem," he enlightened her.
"So I perceive."
"And it is addressed to you."
"According to all probability, inasmuch as my name stands at the head."
"Why, is that pleasant to you?" cried Hagenbach hotly. "You find it all
right, do you, for him to fall at your feet--' that is the phrase used
by the scribbler."
Still smiling, Leonie shrugged her shoulders. "Let your nephew indulge
his little romance; it is harmless enough. I really have no objection
to it."
"But I?" exclaimed the doctor. "If the simpleton manages a single time
more to praise you in song, and lay at your feet the passionate
emotions of his youthful breast, then----"
"What is it to you?" asked Leonie, astonished at this vehement
outbreak, for which, in her opinion, there was no ground.
"What is it to me? Ah! that indeed--You do not know yet----" Hagenbach
suddenly arose and stepped close in front of her.
"Look at me for once, Miss Friedberg!"
"I find nothing especially remarkable about you."
"You are not expected to find anything remarkable about me, either,"
said the doctor, quite hurt. "But I look quite passable, considering my
years."
"Certainly, Doctor."
"I have a lucrative position, not an inconsiderable fortune, a pretty
house--that is much too large for me by myself."
"I do not doubt all this, but what is----"
"And as to my roughness," continued Hagenbach, without heeding the
interruption, "it is only outwardly so. In the main I am a regular
lamb."
Leonie looked very incredulous at this assertion and listened with
increasing surprise.
"All in all, a man with whom one might live happily," wound up the
doctor with great self-complacency. "Do not you agree with me that this
is so?"
"Why, yes, but----"
"Well, then say 'yes,' then the story is done."
Leonie started from her chair and blushed crimson.
"Doctor--what does this mean?"
"What does it mean? Ah, yes, I have quite forgotten to make you a
regular offer. But that will do to repeat. There, now--I offer you my
hand and beg for your consent--let us shake hands on it!"
He stretched out his hand, but the lady of his choice drew three steps
back and said sharply: "You must take account of my surprise; I have
really never deemed it possible that you could honor me with an offer."
"You think so, because you have nerves!" said Hagenbach, quite
unconcernedly. "Oh, that is nothing, I'll soon rid you of them, because
I am a doctor."
"I only regret that I shall give you no opportunity for this," was the
cool response, that made the doctor open his eyes in astonishment.
"Am I to consider this as a rejection?" asked he, dejectedly.
"If you choose to call it so. At all events it is the answer to your
offer put so respectfully and with such uncommon tenderness."
The doctor's face lengthened considerably. He had, most assuredly, not
deemed it necessary to impose a bridle upon his well-known bluntness,
and to make any circumlocution in his courtship. He knew very well
that, in spite of his years and his gray hairs, he was "a good match,"
and that more than one lady of his acquaintance was ready to share his
station in life and his property, and here where his offer was
doubtless a great, hardly-dreamed-of, piece of good fortune for the
portionless girl, he was unceremoniously discarded! He believed that he
had not heard aright.
"You actually then reject my offer?" he asked.
"I regret to have to decline the honor destined for me."
There ensued a brief pause. Hagenbach looked alternately upon Leonie
and upon the desk, or rather the portrait over it, but then his
restrained vexation got the better of him.
"Why?" asked he brusquely.
"That is my affair."
"Excuse me, it is my affair, if I am discarded: I want, at least, to
know wherefore."
At every question put, he took one step forward, and at last made such
demonstrations against the portrait, that Leonie planted herself in
front of it, as if for a shield.
"If you lay such great stress upon it," said she, suppressing her
tears, "be it so, then. Yes, Engelbert was my betrothed, whom I shall
eternally bewail. He stayed in the family as tutor where I was
governess, our spirits were congenial and we plighted our troth."
"That must have been very touching," growled Hagenbach, fortunately so
softly that Leonie did not hear him; she continued with quavering
voice:
"Engelbert then went as traveling-companion to Egypt; there it came
over him like a revelation, and he determined to devote the rest of his
life to the conversion of the poor heathen. He magnanimously gave me
back my word, which I would not accept, however, but declared myself
ready to share with him his hard, self-sacrificing vocation. It was not
to be! He wrote me once more before his departure for the interior of
Africa, and then"--her voice broke into sobs--"then I heard nothing
more of him."
Hagenbach did not at all share in this grief; he rather felt an
extraordinary satisfaction over it, viz., that the aforesaid betrothed
lover and converter of the heathen was really dead and out of the way;
but the narration mitigated his displeasure. It took away every
insulting feature of the rejection. He fell into a reconcilable mood,
that extended even to his rival.
"Peace to his ashes!" said he. "But one day you will cease to bewail
him, and not spend all your days grieving over him. That may have been
the fashion in Werther's time, but at the end of the nineteenth century
the betrothed sheds the usual tears over the departed lover, and then
takes another one--if such an one, perchance, there be. In our case, he
is here and repeats his offer. So, then, Leonie, will you have me? Yes
or no?"
"No!" said Leonie, drawing herself up indignantly. "If I did not know
what I possessed in the tender, devoted love of my Engelbert, your
courtship would show me. Perhaps you would not have approached any
other lady in such an--unceremonious fashion, but the lonely, faded
girl, the poor, dependent teacher, must esteem it great good luck if a
'good support' is offered her. To what end use formalities? But I have
too high a regard for matrimony to consider it only from this point of
view. I would rather remain as I am, poor and dependent, than be the
wife of a man, who, not even as a lover, thinks it worth his while to
treat me with proper respect.--And now, Doctor, we may consider our
interview as closed." She made him a bow and left the room.
Hagenbach stood there, confounded, watching her disappearing figure.
"That is what you call being lectured," said he. "And I have quietly
submitted to it. As for the rest, she did not look bad in her
excitement, with her crimsoned cheeks and flashing eyes. Humph! I
didn't know how pretty she is.--Yes, these cursed bachelor-ways! One is
utterly ruined by them."