ILLUSTRATIONS.
Perhaps a few veritable extracts from the published correspondence of
him whom, following a habit of his own, we have called Sir Asinus, may
show the origin of some allusions in our chronicle. These short
selections are arranged of course to suit the purpose of the
narrative. Beginning with the "rats," we very appropriately end with a
marriage--as in the case of that gentleman who was "led such a life"
by the rats, that "he had to go to London to get himself a wife."
... "This very day, to others the day of greatest mirth and jollity,
sees me overwhelmed with more and greater misfortunes than have
befallen a descendant of Adam for these thousand years past, I am
sure. I am now in a house surrounded with enemies who take counsel
together against my soul, and when I lay me down to rest, they say
among themselves, Come, let us destroy him. I am sure if there is such
a thing as a devil in this world, he must have been here last night,
and have had some hand in contriving what happened to me. Do you think
the cursed rats (at his instigation, I suppose) did not eat up my
pocket-book, which was in my pocket, within a foot of my head? And not
contented with plenty for the present, they carried away my
jemmy-worked silk garters, and half a dozen new minuets I had just
got, to serve, I suppose, as provision for the winter. But of this I
should not have accused the devil, (because you know rats will be
rats, and hunger, without the addition of his instigations, might have
urged them to do this,) if something worse, and from a different
quarter, had not happened. You know it rained last night, or if you do
not know it, I am sure I do. When I went to bed I laid my watch in the
usual place, and going to take her up after I arose this morning, I
found her in the same place, 'tis true, but, _quantum mutatus ab
illo_! afloat in water, let in at a leak in the roof of the house,
and as silent and still as the rats that had eat my pocket-book. Now
you know if chance had had any thing to do in this matter, there were
a thousand other spots where it might have chanced to leak as well as
this one, which was perpendicularly over my watch. But I'll tell you,
it's my opinion that the devil came and bored the hole over it on
purpose. Well, as I was saying, my poor watch had lost her speech. I
should not have cared much for this, but something worse attended it;
the subtle particles of the water with which the case was filled, had
by their penetration so overcome the cohesion of the particles of
paper, of which my dear picture and watch-paper were composed, that in
attempting to take them out to dry them, my cursed fingers gave them
such a rent as I fear I never shall get over! _Multis fortunae
vulneribus percussus, huic uni me imparem sensi, et penitus succubui._
I would have cried bitterly, but I thought it beneath the dignity of a
man, and a man too who had read [Greek: ton onton, ta men eph' hemin
ta douk eph' hemin]. I do wish the devil had old Coke, for I am sure I
never was so tired of an old dull scoundrel in my life. The old
fellows say we must read to gain knowledge, and gain knowledge to make
us happy and be admired. _Mere jargon!_ Is there any such thing as
happiness in this world? No. And as for admiration, I am sure the man
who powders most, perfumes most, embroiders most, and talks most
nonsense, is most admired."
... "This letter will be conveyed to you by the assistance of our
friend Warner Lewis. Poor fellow! never did I see one more sincerely
captivated in my life. He walked to the Indian Camp with her
yesterday, by which means he had an opportunity of giving her two or
three love-squeezes by the hand; and like a true Arcadian swain, has
been so enraptured ever since that he is company for no one."
... "Last night, as merry as agreeable company and dancing with
Belinda in the Apollo could make me, I never could have thought the
succeeding sun would have seen me so wretched as I now am! Affairs at
W. and M. are in the greatest confusion. Walker, McClury, and Wat
Jones are expelled _pro tempore_, or as Horrox softens it, rusticated
for a month. Lewis Burwell, Warner Lewis, and one Thompson have fled
to escape flagellation."
... "I wish I had followed your example and wrote in Latin, and that I
had called my dear, _Campana in die_, instead of [Greek:
adnileb]."--("The lady here alluded to is manifestly the Miss Rebecca
Burwell mentioned in his first letter; but what suggested the quaint
designation of her is not so obvious. In the first of them, Belinda,
translated into dog Latin, which was there as elsewhere one of the
_facetiae_ of young collegians, became _Campana in die_, that is, _bell
in day_. In the second, the name is reversed, and becomes _Adnileb_,
which for farther security is written in Greek characters, and the
lady spoken of in the masculine gender."--_Note of Editor._)
... "When you see Patsy Dandridge, tell her, 'God bless her.' I do not
like the ups and downs of a country life: to-day you are frolicking
with a fine girl, and to-morrow you are moping by yourself. Thank God!
I shall shortly be where my happiness will be less interrupted. I
shall salute all the girls below in your name, particularly S----y
P----r. Dear Will, I have thought of the cleverest plan of life that
can be imagined. You exchange your land for Edgehill, or I mine for
Fairfields; you marry S----y P----r, I marry R----a B----l, join and
get a pole chair and a pair of keen horses, practise the law in the
same courts, and drive about to all the dances in the country
together. How do you like it? Well, I am sorry you are at such a
distance I cannot hear your answer; however, you must let me know it
by the first opportunity, and all the other news in the world which
you imagine will affect me."
... "With regard to the scheme which I proposed to you some time
since, I am sorry to tell you it is totally frustrated by Miss R. B.'s
marriage with Jacquelin Ambler, which the people here tell me they
daily expect. Well, the Lord bless her! I say: but S----y P----r is
still left for you. I have given her a description of the gentleman
who, as I told her, intended to make her an offer of his hand, and
asked whether or not he might expect it would be accepted. She would
not determine till she saw him or his picture. Now, Will, as you are a
piece of a limner, I desire that you will seat yourself immediately
before your looking-glass and draw such a picture of yourself as you
think proper; and if it should be defective, blame yourself. (Mind
that I mentioned no name to her.) You say you are determined to be
married as soon as possible, and advise me to do the same. No, thank
ye; I will consider of it first. Many and great are the comforts of a
single state, and neither of the reasons you urge can have any
influence with an inhabitant, and a young inhabitant too, of
Williamsburg. Who told you that I reported you was courting Miss
Dandridge and Miss Dangerfield? It might be worth your while to ask
whether they were in earnest or not. So far was I from it, that I
frequently bantered Miss J----y T----o about you, and told her how
feelingly you spoke of her. There is scarcely any thing now going on
here. You have heard, I suppose, that J. Page is courting Fanny
Burwell. W. Bland and Betsy Yates are to be married Thursday
se'nnight. The Secretary's son is expected in shortly. Willis has left
town entirely, so that your commands to him cannot be executed
immediately; but those to the ladies I shall do myself the pleasure of
delivering to-morrow night at the ball. Tom Randolph of Tuckahoe has a
suit of Mecklenburg silk which he offered me for a suit of
broadcloth."
... "I have not a syllable to write to you about. Would you that I
should write nothing but truth? I tell you I know nothing that is
true. Or would you rather that I should write you a pack of lies? Why,
unless they were more ingenious than I am able to invent, they would
furnish you with little amusement. What can I do then? Nothing, but
ask you the news in your world. How have you done since I saw you?
How did Nancy look at you when you danced with her at Southall's?
Have you any glimmering of hope? How does R. B. do? Had I better stay
here and do nothing, or go down and do less? or in other words, had I
better stay here while I am here, or go down that I may have the
pleasure of sailing up the river again in a full-rigged flat? You must
know that as soon as the Rebecca (the name I intend to give the vessel
above mentioned) is completely finished, I intend to hoist sail and
away. I shall visit particularly, England, Holland, France, Spain,
Italy, (where I would buy me a good fiddle,) and Egypt, and return
through the British provinces to the northward, home. This, to be
sure, would take us two or three years, and if we should not both be
cured of love in that time, I think the devil would be in it.
T. JEFFERSON."
Many of these letters are written from "Devilsburg," which was the
college name for the metropolitan city in the days of yore. The reader
is referred to the first volume of Mr. Tucker's Life of Jefferson.
We shall make but one addition to our chronicle of those former
personages and their boyish pranks, and that shall be a quotation:
"On the 1st of January, 1772, I was married to Martha Skelton, widow
of Bathurst Skelton, and daughter of John Wayles, then twenty-three
years old."
See his memoir of himself.
FINIS.