"Have you any red calico like this?" I asked of the lady behind the
counter.
"No, sir," she said, "but we have it in Turkey red."
Turkey red again! I surrendered.
"All right," I said. "Give me Turkey red."
"How much, sir?" she asked.
"I don't know--say five yards."
The lady looked at me rather strangely, but measured off five yards of
Turkey red calico. Then she rapped on the counter and called out,
"Cash!" A little girl, with yellow hair in two long plaits, came
slowly up. The lady wrote the number of yards; the name of the goods;
her own number; the price; the amount of the bank-note I handed her;
and some other matters--probably the color of my eyes and the direction
and velocity of the wind--on a slip of paper. She then copied all this
in a little book which she kept by her. Then she handed the slip of
paper, the money, and the Turkey red to the yellow-haired girl. This
young girl copied the slip in a little book she carried, and then she
went away with the calico, the paper slip, and the money.
After a very long time--during which the little girl probably took the
goods, the money, and the slip to some central desk, where the note was
received, its amount and number entered in a book; change given to the
girl; a copy of the slip made and entered; girl's entry examined and
approved; goods wrapped up; girl registered; plaits counted and entered
on a slip of paper and copied by the girl in her book; girl taken to a
hydrant and washed; number of towel entered on a paper slip and copied
by the girl in her book; value of my note and amount of change branded
somewhere on the child, and said process noted on a slip of paper and
copied in her book--the girl came to me, bringing my change and the
package of Turkey red calico.
I had time for but very little work at the office that afternoon, and
when I reached home I handed the package of calico to my wife. She
unrolled it and exclaimed:
"Why, this doesn't match the piece I gave you!"
"Match it!" I cried. "Oh no! it doesn't match it. You didn't want
that matched. You were mistaken. What you wanted was Turkey
red--third counter to the left. I mean, Turkey red is what they use!"
My wife looked at me in amazement, and then I detailed to her my
troubles.
"Well," said she, "this Turkey red is a great deal prettier than what I
had, and you've bought so much of it that I needn't use the other at
all. I wish I had thought of Turkey red before."
"I wish from my heart you had!" said I.