The little old gentleman had withdrawn from the apartment of the
Mannerings very quietly, leaving all that excitement and commotion
behind him; but he did not leave in this way the house in Bloomsbury. He
went downstairs cautiously and quietly, though why he should have done
so he could not himself have told, since, had he made all the noise in
the world, it could have had no effect upon the matter in hand in either
case. Then he knocked at Miss Bethune’s door. When he was bidden to
enter, he opened the door gently, with great precaution, and going in,
closed it with equal care behind him.
“I am speaking, I think, to Mrs. Gordon Grant?” he said.
Miss Bethune was alone. She had many things to think of, and very likely
the book which she seemed to be reading was not much more than a
pretence to conceal her thoughts. It fell down upon her lap at these
words, and she looked at her questioner with a gasp, unable to make any
reply.
“Mrs. Gordon Grant, I believe?” he said again, then made a step farther
into the room. “Pardon me for startling you, there is no one here. I am
a solicitor, John Templar, of Gray’s Inn. Precautions taken with other
persons need not apply to me. You are Mrs. Gordon Grant, I know.”
“I have never borne that name,” she said, very pale. “Janet Bethune,
that is my name.”
“Not as signed to a document which is in my possession. You will pardon
me, but this is no doing of mine. You witnessed Mrs. Bristow’s will?”
She gave a slight nod with her head in acquiescence.
“And then, to my great surprise, I found this name, which I have been in
search of for so long.”
“You have been in search of it?”
“Yes, for many years. The skill with which you have concealed it is
wonderful. I have advertised, even. I have sought the help of old
friends who must see you often, who come to you here even, I know. But I
never found the name I was in search of, never till the other day at the
signing of Mrs. Bristow’s will--which, by the way,” he said, “that young
fellow might have signed safely enough, for he has no share in it.”
“Do you mean to say that she has left him nothing--nothing, Mr. Templar?
The boy that was like her son!”
“Not a penny,” said the old gentleman--“not a penny. Everything has gone
the one way--perhaps it was not wonderful--to her own child.”
“I could not have done that!” cried the lady. “Oh, I could not have done
it! I would have felt it would bring a curse upon my own child.”
“Perhaps, madam, you never had a child of your own, which would make
all the difference,” he said.
She looked at him again, silent, with her lips pressed very closely
together, and a kind of defiance in her eyes.
“But this,” he said again, softly, “is no answer to my question. You
were a witness of Mrs. Bristow’s will, and you signed a certain name to
it. You cannot have done so hoping to vitiate the document by a feigned
name. It would have been perfectly futile to begin with, and no woman
could have thought of such a thing. That was, I presume, your lawful
name?”
“It is a name I have never borne; that you will very easily ascertain.”
“Still it is your name, or why should you have signed it--in
inadvertence, I suppose?”
“Not certainly in inadvertence. Has anything ever made it familiar to
me? If you will know, I had my reasons. I thought the sight of it might
put things in a lawyer’s hands, would maybe guide inquiries, would make
easier an object of my own.”
“That object,” said Mr. Templar, “was to discover your husband?”
She half rose to her feet, flushed and angry.
“Who said I had a husband, or that to find him or lose him was anything
to me?” Then, with a strong effort, she reseated herself in her chair.
“That was a bold guess,” she said, “Mr. Templar, not to say a little
insulting, don’t you think, to a respectable single lady that has never
had a finger lifted upon her? I am of a well-known race enough. I have
never concealed myself. There are plenty of people in Scotland who will
give you full details of me and all my ways. It is not like a lawyer--a
cautious man, bound by his profession to be careful--to make such a
strange attempt upon me.”
“I make no attempt. I only ask a question, and one surely most
justifiable. You did not sign a name to which you had no right, on so
important a document as a will; therefore you are Mrs. Gordon Grant, and
a person to whom for many years I have had a statement to make.”
She looked at him again with a dumb rigidity of aspect, but said not a
word.
“The communication I had to make to you,” he said, “was of a death--not
one, so far as I know, that could bring you any advantage, or harm
either, I suppose. I may say that it took place years ago. I have no
reason, either, to suppose that it would be the cause of any deep
sorrow.”
“Sorrow?” she said, but her lips were dry, and could articulate no more.
“I have nothing to do with your reasons for having kept your marriage so
profound a secret,” he said. “The result has naturally been the long
delay of a piece of information which perhaps would have been welcome to
you. Mrs. Grant, your husband, George Gordon Grant, died nearly twenty
years ago.”
“Twenty years ago!” she cried, with a start, “twenty years?” Then she
raised her voice suddenly and cried, “Gilchrist!” She was very pale,
and her excitement great, her eyes gleaming, her nerves quivering. She
paid no attention to the little lawyer, who on his side observed her so
closely. “Gilchrist,” she said, when the maid came in hurriedly from the
inner room in which she had been, “we have often wondered why there was
no sign of him when I came into my fortune. The reason is he was dead
before my uncle died.”
“Dead?” said Gilchrist, and put up at once her apron to her eyes, “dead?
Oh, mem, that bonnie young man!”
“Yes,” said Miss Bethune. She rose up and began to move about the room
in great excitement. “Yes, he would still be a bonnie young man
then--oh, a bonnie young man, as his son is now. I wondered how it was
he made no sign. Before, it was natural: but when my uncle was
dead--when I had come into my fortune! That explains it--that explains
it all. He was dead before the day he had reckoned on came.”
“Oh, dinna say that, now!” cried Gilchrist. “How can we tell if it was
the day he had reckoned on? Why might it no’ be your comfort he was aye
thinking of--that you might lose nothing, that your uncle might keep his
faith in you, that your fortune might be safe?”
“Ay, that my fortune might be safe, that was the one thing. What did it
matter about me? Only a woman that was so silly as to believe in
him--and believed in him, God help me, long after he had proved what he
was. Gilchrist, go down on your knees and thank God that he did not live
to cheat us more, to come when you and me made sure he would come, and
fleece us with his fair face and his fair ways, till he had got what he
wanted,--the filthy money which was the end of all.”
“Oh, mem,” cried Gilchrist, again weeping, “dinna say that now. Even if
it were true, which the Lord forbid, dinna say it now!”
But her mistress was not to be controlled. The stream of recollection,
of pent-up feeling, the brooding of a lifetime, set free by this sudden
discovery of her story, which was like the breaking down of a dyke to a
river, rushed forth like that river in flood. “I have thought many a
time,” she cried,--“when my heart was sick of the silence, when I still
trembled that he would come, and wished he would come for all that I
knew, like a fool woman that I am, as all women are,--that maybe his not
coming was a sign of grace, that he had maybe forgotten, maybe been
untrue; but that it was not at least the money, the money and nothing
more. To know that I had that accursed siller and not to come for it was
a sign of grace. I was a kind of glad. But it was not that!” she cried,
pacing to and fro like a wild creature,--“it was not that! He would have
come, oh, and explained everything, made everything clear, and told me
to my face it was for my sake!--if it had not been that death stepped in
and disappointed him as he had disappointed me!”
Miss Bethune ended with a harsh laugh, and after a moment seated herself
again in her chair. The tempest of personal feeling had carried her
away, quenching even the other and yet stronger sentiment, which for so
many years had been the passion of her life. She had been suddenly,
strangely driven back to a period which even now, in her sober middle
age, it was a kind of madness to think of--the years which she had lived
through in awful silence, a wife yet no wife, a mother yet no mother,
cut off from everything but the monotonous, prolonged, unending formula
of a girlhood out of date, the life without individuality, without
meaning, and without hope, of a large-minded and active woman, kept to
the rôle of a child, in a house where there was not even affection to
sweeten it. The recollection of those terrible, endless, changeless
days, running into years as indistinguishable, the falsehood of every
circumstance and appearance, the secret existence of love and sacrifice,
of dread knowledge and disenchantment, of strained hope and failing
illusion, and final and awful despair, of which Gilchrist alone knew
anything,--Gilchrist, the faithful servant, the sole companion of her
heart,--came back upon her with all that horrible sense of the
intolerable which such a martyrdom brings. She had borne it in its
day--how had she borne it? Was it possible that a woman could go through
that and live? her heart torn from her bosom, her baby torn from her
side, and no one, no one but Gilchrist, to keep a little life alive in
her heart! And it had lasted for years--many, many, many years,--all the
years of her life, except those first twenty which tell for so little.
In that rush of passion she did not know how time passed, whether it
was five minutes or an hour that she sat under the inspection of the old
lawyer, whom this puzzle of humanity filled with a sort of professional
interest, and who did not think it necessary to withdraw, or had any
feeling of intrusion upon the sufferer. It was not really a long time,
though it might have been a year, when she roused herself and took hold
of her forces, and the dread panorama rolled away.
Gradually the familiar things around her came back. She remembered
herself, no despairing girl, no soul in bondage, but a sober woman,
disenchanted in many ways, but never yet cured of those hopes and that
faith which hold the ardent spirit to life. Her countenance changed with
her thoughts, her eyes ceased to be abstracted and visionary, her colour
came back. She turned to the old gentleman with a look which for the
first time disturbed and bewildered that old and hardened spectator of
the vicissitudes of life. Her eyes filled with a curious liquid light,
an expression wistful, flattering, entreating. She looked at him as a
child looks who has a favour to ask, her head a little on one side, her
lips quivering with a smile. There came into the old lawyer’s mind, he
could not tell how, a ridiculous sense of being a superior being, a kind
of god, able to confer untold advantages and favours. What did the woman
want of him? What--it did not matter what she wanted--could he do for
her? Nothing that he was aware of: and a sense of the danger of being
cajoled came into his mind, but along with that, which was ridiculous,
though he could not help it, a sense of being really a superior being,
able to grant favours, and benignant, as he had never quite known
himself to be.
“Mr. Templar,” she said, “now all is over there is not another word to
say: and now the boy--my boy----”
“The boy?” he repeated, with a surprised air.
“My child that was taken from me as soon as he was born, my little
helpless bairn that never knew his mother--my son, my son! Give me a
right to him, give me my lawful title to him, and there can be no more
doubt about it--that nobody may say he is not mine.”
The old lawyer was more confused than words could say. The very sense
she had managed to convey to his mind of being a superior being, full of
graces and gifts to confer, made his downfall the more ludicrous to
himself. He seemed to tumble down from an altitude quite visionary, yet
very real, as if by some neglect or ill-will of his own. He felt himself
humiliated, a culprit before her. “My dear lady,” he said, “you are
going too fast and too far for me. I did not even know there was any----
Stop! I think I begin to remember.”
“Yes,” she said, breathless,--“yes!” looking at him with supplicating
eyes.
“Now it comes back to me,” he said. “I--I--am afraid I gave it no
importance. There was a baby--yes, a little thing a few weeks, or a few
months old--that died.”
She sprang up again once more to her feet, menacing, terrible. She was
bigger, stronger, far more full of life, than he was. She towered over
him, her face full of tragic passion. “It is not true--it is not true!”
she cried.
“My dear lady, how can I know? What can I do? I can but tell you the
instructions given to me; it had slipped out of my mind, it seemed of
little importance in comparison. A baby that was too delicate to bear
the separation from its mother--I remember it all now. I am very sorry,
very sorry, if I have conveyed any false hopes to your mind. The baby
died not long after it was taken away.”
“It is not true,” Miss Bethune said, with a hoarse and harsh voice.
After the excitement and passion, she stood like a figure cut out of
stone. This statement, so calm and steady, struck her like a blow. Her
lips denied, but her heart received the cruel news. It may be necessary
to explain good fortune, but misery comes with its own guarantee. It
struck her like a sword, like a scythe, shearing down her hopes. She
rose into a brief blaze of fury, denying it. “Oh, you think I will
believe that?” she cried,--“me that have followed him in my thoughts
through every stage, have seen him grow and blossom, and come to be a
man! Do you think there would have been no angel to stop me in my vain
imaginations, no kind creature in heaven or earth that would have
breathed into my heart and said, ‘Go on no more, hope no more’? Oh
no--oh no! Heaven is not like that, nor earth! Pain comes and trouble,
but not cruel fate. No, I do not believe it--I will not believe it! It
is not true.”
“My dear lady,” said the old gentleman, distressed.
“I am no dear lady to you. I am nothing to you. I am a poor, deserted,
heartbroken woman, that have lived false, false, but never meant it:
that have had no one to stand by me, to help me out of it. And now you
sit there calm, and look me in the face, and take away my son. My baby
first was taken from me, forced out of my arms, new-born: and now you
take the boy I’ve followed with my heart these long, long years, the
bonnie lad, the young man I’ve seen. I tell you I’ve seen him, then. How
can a mother be deceived? We’ve seen him, both Gilchrist and me. Ask
her, if you doubt my word. We have seen him, can any lie stand against
that? And my heart has spoken, and his heart has spoken; we have sought
each other in the dark, and taken hands. I know him by his bonnie eyes,
and a trick in his mouth that is just my father over again: and he knows
me by nature, and the touch of kindly blood.”
“Oh, mem,” Gilchrist cried, “I warned ye--I warned ye! What is a
likeness to lippen to? And I never saw it,” the woman said, with tears.
“And who asked ye to see it, or thought ye could see it, a
serving-woman, not a drop’s blood to him or to me? It would be a bonnie
thing,” said Miss Bethune, pausing, looking round, as if to appeal to an
unseen audience, with an almost smile of scorn, “if my hired woman’s
word was to be taken instead of his mother’s. Did she bear him in pain
and anguish? Did she wait for him, lying dreaming, month after month,
that he was to cure all? She got him in her arms when he was born, but
he had been in mine for long before; he had grown a man in my heart
before ever he saw the light of day. Oh, ask her, and there is many a
fable she will tell ye. But me!"--she calmed down again, a smile came
upon her face,--“I have seen my son. Now, as I have nobody but him, he
has nobody but me: and I mean from this day to take him home and
acknowledge him before all the world.”
Mr. Templar had risen, and stood with his hand on the back of his chair.
“I have nothing more to say,” he said. “If I can be of any use to you in
any way, command me, madam. It is no wish of mine to take any comfort
from you, or even to dispel any pleasing illusion.”
“As if you could!” she said, rising again, proud and smiling. “As if any
old lawyer’s words, as dry as dust, could shake my conviction, or
persuade me out of what is a certainty. It is a certainty. Seeing is
believing, the very vulgar say. And I have seen him--do you think you
could make me believe after that, that there is no one to see?”
He shook his head and turned away. “Good-morning to you, ma’am,” he
said. “I have told you the truth, but I cannot make you believe it, and
why should I try? It may be happier for you the other way.”
“Happier?” she said, with a laugh. “Ay, because it’s true. Falsehood has
been my fate too long--I am happy because it is true.”
Miss Bethune sat down again, when her visitor closed the door behind
him. The triumph and brightness gradually died out of her face. “What
are you greetin’ there for, you fool?” she said, “and me the happiest
woman, and the proudest mother! Gilchrist,” she said, suddenly turning
round upon her maid, “the woman that is dead was a weak creature, bound
hand and foot all her life. She meant no harm, poor thing, I will allow,
but yet she broke one man’s life in pieces, and it must have been a poor
kind of happiness she gave the other, with her heart always straying
after another man’s bairn. And I’ve done nothing, nothing to injure any
mortal. I was true till I could be true no longer, till he showed all he
was; and true I have been in spite of that all my life, and endured and
never said a word. Do you think it’s possible, possible that yon woman
should be rewarded with her child in her arms, and her soul
satisfied?--and me left desolate, with my very imaginations torn from
me, torn out of me, and my heart left bleeding, and all my thoughts
turned into lies, like myself, that have been no better than a
lie?--turned into lies?”
“Oh, mem!” cried Gilchrist--“oh, my dear leddy, that has been more to me
than a’ this world! Is it for me to say that it’s no’ justice we have to
expect, for we deserve nothing; and that the Lord knows His ain reasons;
and that the time will come when we’ll get it all back--you, your bairn,
the Lord bless him! and me to see ye as happy as the angels, which is
all I ever wanted or thought to get either here or otherwhere!”