Anton Von Barwig rapped on the conductor's desk for silence and laid
down his baton. The hundred men constituting the Leipsic Philharmonic
Orchestra stopped playing as if by magic, and those who looked up from
their music saw in their leader's face, for the first time in their
three years' experience under his direction, a pained expression of
helplessness.
"Either I can't hear you this morning, or the first violins are late in
attacking and the wood wind drags--drags--drags."
"What's the matter? We've played this a hundred times," growled
Karlschmidt, the bass clarionet player, to Poons, the Dutch horn
soloist, who sat at the desk next to him.
Karlschmidt was a socialist, a student of Karl Marx, and took more
interest in communism than in his allotted share of the score of
Isolde's _Liebestodt_. Indeed, nearly all the men were interested in
something other than the occupation which afforded them a living. For
them the pleasure of music had died in the business of attaining
accuracy.
"What did he say?" asked Poons, losing Von Barwig's next remark in
trying to hear what Karlschmidt was mumbling.
"He said it's his own fault," whispered the second flute.
"He's quite right," assented Karlschmidt.
"Hush, hush!" came from one or two others. Von Barwig was addressing
the men again, and they wanted to hear.
"Let's play; cut the speeches out," growled Karlschmidt. "For God's
sake, what's he saying now?"
"Damn it! How can we hear when you won't keep quiet?" blurted a
Germanised Englishman who had an engagement at the old Rathaus and
wanted to get away.
"We're dismissed," said Poons, who couldn't hear. But the men at the
violin desks down front were rising and putting away their instruments,
and the others were slowly following their example.
Karlschmidt's face expanded into a smile; the prospect of avoiding the
unpleasant grind of rehearsal had restored him to good humour. The
lines of men were now breaking up into knots; bows were being loosened,
violins put into cases and brass instruments into bags, while laughing
and chatting became general. Poons looked at Von Barwig, who still
stood on the small dais, staring out into space, and he saw that
something was the matter. He loved Von Barwig; for years before, when
hard times had sent him over the border from Amsterdam toward the
German music centres, Von Barwig had extended him a helping hand,
indeed had almost kept him from starving until he got an engagement in
one of the minor Dresden theatres; Poons was grateful; and gratitude is
a form of love that lies deeper than mere sympathy.
"Can I do something for you, Anton?" he asked a few moments later, as
he stood at the conductor's desk. Von Barwig did not answer; and with
his round face, and smiling eyes glancing appealingly at his conductor,
Poons stood waiting like a little dog that patiently wags his tall in
hope of his master's recognition. Presently he shook his head gravely
and sighed. Surely something was wrong, for Anton was not himself.
Never before had he stopped rehearsal and dismissed his men on the
morning preceding a concert night, and, moreover, the night of the
first performance of a new symphony--Von Barwig's own work.
The men were rapidly disappearing, and the Gewandhaus concert platform
was almost empty. Von Barwig seemed deeply interested in watching his
men carry off their instruments, and yet, when Poons looked closely
into his face, he knew that the leader did not see that which he was
apparently watching so closely.
"Shall I wait for you, Anton?" ventured Poons finally. As if to remind
Von Barwig of his presence, he touched him gently on the arm. Von
Barwig started. A look of recognition came into his eye, and with it a
smile that metamorphosed his homely, almost ugly face into something
beyond mere beauty; a smile that transformed a somewhat commonplace
personality into an appealing and compelling individuality. There is
no need to describe the delicate, sensitive, rugged countenance, which,
when he smiled, radiated love and sympathy for his fellow-beings and
made him what is ordinarily described as magnetic.
Poons caught this smile, and his own broad grin deepened as he
recognised his old friend again.
"Come, let's go," Von Barwig said briefly; and without another word
they walked out of the Gewandhaus. They passed the statue of
Mendelssohn erected in front of the building, walking down the August
Platz as far as the University. Poons noticed that unusual things were
happening that morning. First, his friend was walking rapidly, so
rapidly that he himself almost had to trot to keep up with him; second,
he was muttering to himself, a most unusual thing for Von Barwig to do;
third, every now and then a look of intense hatred beclouded his face;
and last, he was not talking over the events of the morning with his
friend. Furthermore, so engrossed was Von Barwig in his own thoughts
that he passed Schumann's monument without lifting his hat, and
Bismarck's monument without shaking his fist; and these two things Von
Barwig had done, day in and day out, ever since Poons had known him.
Finally, when at the Thomas Kirche Poons ventured to ask, "Where are we
going?" Von Barwig stopped short in the middle of the street he was
crossing.
"That's it, that's it!" he said excitedly; "where am I going? Where am
I going?" and he looked at Poons as if he expected that his frightened
friend would answer his question.
Poons took his friend's arm and pushed him out of the road on to the
pavement just in time to save him from being grazed by a cab which
rapidly whisked by them. Then he stopped and laid his hand on Von
Barwig's shoulder.
"What's the matter, Anton?" he said soothingly. "Can't you tell me?
In God's name, what has happened?"
Anton looked at Poons. The unexpected had happened; his devoted
follower had dared to question him. The shock almost awoke him to a
sense of his surroundings, and the ghost of his old smile stole over
his face as he shook his head slowly.
"That's it!" he gasped. "I don't know! I don't know! It's the
uncertainty that is killing me. By God, August, I'll kill him! I'll
kill him!" And then Poons understood.
They walked on in silence, whither neither of them knew. It was now
Poons's turn to walk faster than his companion and to mutter to
himself. His face had lost its grin, and he was no longer conscious of
his immediate surroundings. After they had passed Auerbach's cellar he
could contain himself no longer, and an explosion took place. He
stopped Von Barwig in the middle of the pavement, grabbing him by the
arm, and in a hoarse, gutteral voice, choked with emotion, shouted,
"Anton! Anton!"
Von Barwig looked at his friend in mute surprise. Poons, oblivious of
the bystanders--who were looking to see why a man should shout so
unnecessarily--went on:
"By God, Anton, I kill him, too!"
This appealed to Von Barwig's sense of humour, and he burst Into
laughter, a laughter perilously near to tears. It never occurred to
him to ask Poons what he knew or what he had heard. The fact that what
was preying on his mind, his carefully guarded secret, was common
property did not strike him at that moment. He merely thought that his
friend was agreeing with him in the sentiment of killing "some one" as
he agreed with him in all matters of music, philosophy and art. In
Anton Von Barwig's condition of mind at that moment, had it occurred to
him that Poons knew the awful fact that was confronting him, he would
have taken him by the throat and then and there compelled him to
confess what he knew or thought he knew; but he walked on in silence,
followed by his devoted friend.
They turned up a small side street of the August Platz and stopped in
front of the house where Anton Von Barwig lived. It was the centre of
a row of large modern apartment houses where lived for the most part
the art world of Leipsic, and this world included beside the rich,
professional element, the wealthy publishers, of whom in this important
centre of Germany there were a large number. As Von Barwig stood
waiting for Poons to enter with him, he noticed Poons's outstretched
hand.
"Aren't you coming in?" he asked. Poons shook his head.
"I'd better not," he said simply.
"Why not?" asked Von Barwig.
"Because," Poons faltered. He did not want to tell his friend that at
such times as these it is better for a man to be alone with his
thoughts.
"Why not?" cried Von Barwig; but Poons did not speak. He stood like
some dumb animal awaiting his master's lash; and then Von Barwig knew
that Poons knew.
"Come!" said Von Barwig in a low, hard voice, with such firmness and
determination that Poons, in spite of himself, was compelled to go
forward. Silently they walked up three flights, neither of them
noticing the salute of the porter as they passed him. Anton took out
his keys and opened a door which led into a magnificently furnished
musical studio, the largest apartment in Koenigs Strasse. It was here
that he and Madam Elene Von Barwig, his wife, held their musical
receptions and entertained the great German and foreign artists that
came to Leipsic. These receptions were famous affairs, and invitations
were eagerly sought, not only by musical celebrities, but by such of
the nobility as happened to be in town. Members of the royal family
had been known to grace more than one of these affairs; for though a
conductor of the Leipsic Philharmonic is not necessarily a rich man,
his social position is unquestioned.
Perhaps some such fleeting thoughts as these--glimpses into the past
like those of a drowning man--came into Anton Von Barwig's
consciousness as he stepped quietly to the door leading from the
reception-room and studio and passed into the corridor toward the
living apartments. He listened intently; but hearing nothing, closed
the door quietly, and somewhat to Poons's alarm turned the key in the
lock.
"Now tell me," he demanded, in a voice that was as strange as it was
determined; "what do you know? Sit down." This last was a direct
command.
Poons felt that nothing was to be gained by silence. He had, so to
speak, put his foot in it by allowing himself, through sympathy in his
friend's affairs, to betray the fact that he knew what was troubling
him. He felt, therefore, that by making a clean breast of it, he might
not only mitigate Von Barwig's sufferings but enable him to see what
the world, or at least the world of Leipsic, had seen for some time.
Poons was not a rapid thinker, but these thoughts flashed through his
mind in less time than it took him to obey Von Barwig. He sat down in
the chair indicated by his friend and tried to collect his thoughts.
"What do you know?" repeated Von Barwig. Poons moistened his lips with
his tongue, as if to enable him to speak; but words would not come. He
loved Anton; he knew that what he had to say would make him suffer; and
that he could not bear to see. He tried to speak, faltered "I cannot,
I cannot!" and burst into tears. Von Barwig walked up to the window
and gazed steadily into the street.
"It's more serious than I thought," he said after a few moments' pause,
giving Poons time to recover in some slight degree from his emotion.
"It is serious, eh?"
"Yes," assented Poons, relieved that Anton's question required only a
monosyllable for an answer.
"Very serious, eh?" asked Von Barwig, steeling himself for the answer
he expected.
"Yes, I think so," nodded Poons, gulping down a sob.
"The worst, eh?"
"God, you know what scandal-mongers are; what people say--when they do
say--how they talk! They have no mercy, no brains, no sense! What is
a woman's reputation to them? They repeat, they--they--the
wretches--the murderers--" Poons seemed to be trying to shift the
blame on a number of people; it was easier for him to generalise at
this moment than to answer his questioner straightforwardly.
"Do they say that my wife--that Madam Von Barwig neglects her home?"
"Yes."
"And her child?"
"No, no!" eagerly interrupted Poons, quite joyous at being able to deny
something at last.
"Do they say that she--neglects me, that she doesn't care for me,
that--" Von Barwig spoke now with an effort; "that she no longer loves
me?"
Poons nodded affirmatively. He was summoning up all his courage for
the question that he knew was coming; and it came.
"Do they say, do they mention--his name?"
Poons again nodded affirmatively.
"Ahlmann?"
"Yes."
Von Barwig held his breath for a moment; then literally heaved a sigh.
What he most feared had indeed come upon him. The world knew; his
heart was on his sleeve for daws to peck at.
"How long have you known this?"
Poons hung his head, he could not answer. He was longing to throw his
arms around his friend's neck and cry on his shoulder; and he could
think of nothing to say but "Poor Anton! Poor Anton!"
"Don't pity me, damn you! don't pity me!" burst out Von Barwig. "And
don't sit there bleating like a lost sheep of Israel! I'm not a
woman--tears are no panacea for suffering like mine. Put the world
back five years, restore for me the past few months; then I could live
life over again, then I could see and know and act differently. Don't
sit there like a wailing widow, moaning and moping over other people's
miseries! That isn't sympathy, that's weakness! If you want to help
me, tell me to be a man, to face my troubles like a man; don't cry like
a baby!"
"That's right," assented Poons, "go on; it does you good. Give it to
me, I deserve it!"
"Poor old Poons, you do your best! Ah, your love does me good, old
friend; but there's hell to face! She threatens to leave me, to leave
me because I refused to allow him to come here. I've warned him! And
if he shows his face in Leipsic again, I'll kill him! Look!" Von
Barwig felt in his inner pocket. "Now you can understand why I
couldn't hold the men together at rehearsal this morning. My mind was
with her, with him. Ha! the mother of my little girl, my little
Hélène! That's the pity of it, Poons, that's the pity of it!" and now
it was Von Barwig's turn to show weakness. "That's what I can't
understand. A woman's love for a man, yes, it can go here, there,
anywhere; but the mother instinct, how can that change?"
"Doesn't she love her little girl any more?" asked Poons in simple
astonishment.
"She loves _him_," said Anton. "Can there be room for the mother love
with such love as he inspires?"
He looked at the letter in his hand and passed it to Poons. "This
morning, just as I was leaving for rehearsal, the servant handed me
this. My little girl is all I have left now." His voice choked with
emotion as he turned once more toward the window.
At the sight of his friend's suffering Poons could no longer contain
himself, and he fairly blubbered as he read the following:
"DEAR ANTON: Henry Ahlmann is in Leipsic and I have seen him. I cannot
live a lie, so I am going away with him. Believe me, it is better so;
I feel that you can never forgive me and that we can never again be
happy together. Kiss my darling Hélène for me, and oh, Anton, don't
tell the little one her unhappy mother's miserable history until she is
old enough to understand!
"ELENE VON BARWIG."
"Well, that's conclusive, isn't it?" asked Von Barwig grimly as soon as
Poons finished reading.
Poons's voice failed him. Hot, scalding tears were fairly raining down
his cheeks as the letter fell out of his trembling hands and fluttered
to the floor.
"Well, what's to be done; what's to be done?"
"Then she has gone?"
Von Barwig nodded. "I suppose so! I don't know, I can't tell," he
said helplessly. "I didn't try to stop her," he went on after a pause.
"What's the use, to what end? Oh, I don't want the entire blame to
rest on her shoulders! A beautiful woman, twenty-five years of age, a
pampered, petted, spoiled child, craving constant excitement; and he, a
handsome, young American, rich and romantic. I, as you know, am a
mature man of forty, devoted to an art in which she takes little
interest. I introduced them. Ha! that's the irony of it! I brought
them together, I left them together, I--it's my fault, Poons--my fault!
I neglected her for my work. With me, all was music: the compositions,
the rehearsal, the concert, the pupil, the conservatory, the opera, the
singer, the player. He used to take her to my concerts; and I,--fool,
fool--encouraged him, for it gave me more time to devote to my art. An
artist is a selfish dog! He must be, or there is no art. What could I
expect? I am fifteen years older than she; ugly----"
"No, no!" blurted out Poons.
"Misshapen, undersized----"
"No, no!"
"My friend can lie, but my looking-glass doesn't. I know, I know!
God, how will it all end? How will it all end?"
At this point the door shook a little as though some one were trying to
get in.
"She's come back!" almost gasped Anton, and walking firmly to the door,
he unlocked and opened it. As he did so, a little fairy creature
between three and four years of age, with golden, flaxen curls and blue
eyes, bounded into the room, calling out, "Papa! Papa! Where is oo?
Where is oo?"
Von Barwig was on his knees in a moment, and the child threw her left
arm around his neck and hugged him so tightly that the little doll she
held in her right hand was almost crushed between them.
"Hélène, Hélène! my poor, motherless little baby!" And then for the
first time Von Barwig gave way to tears.
"We are alone, alone, alone! Oh, God! Oh, God!" he sobbed as he
rocked from side to side in his agony. Poons crept softly out of the
room and closed the door gently after him.