The Indian idea of the marriage bond is that it is not very strong. They
have been accustomed to get married young, often at fourteen or sixteen
years of age, to pay for their wives in money and articles to the value
of several hundred dollars, and the men have had, oftentimes, two or
three wives.
When they married young, in order that two young fools should not be
married together, often a boy was married to an elderly woman, and a
young girl to an elderly man, so that the older one could take care of
the younger, with the expectation that when the younger one should grow
older if they did not like each other they should be divorced.
Such ideas naturally did not suit the government, the agent, or the
Bible. The agent has had about all the children of school age in school,
and thus had control of them, so that they could not get married as
young as formerly. In 1883 the government sent word to prevent the
purchase of any more wives, and this has been generally acquiesced in by
the Skokomish Indians. Some of the Clallam Indians, however, are so far
from the agent, and are so backward in civilization, that it has not
been possible to enforce these two points among them as thoroughly as
among the Twanas.
The Commissioner of Indian Affairs, in his report for 1878, recommended
the passage of a law compelling all Indians who were living together as
man and wife to be married. The law has not been made, but the agent
worked on the same principles long before 1878--indeed ever after he
first took charge in 1871. He urged them to be married, making for a
time special presents from government annuities to those who should
consent, as a shawl or ladies’ hat, and some consented. Only two couples
had been thus married when I went there. It seemed rather comical on the
Fourth of July, 1874, when I had been on the reservation only about two
weeks, to be asked to join in marriage seven couples, some of whom had
children. One Sabbath in 1883 a couple stood up to be married, the bride
having a baby in her arms, and she would probably have held it during
the ceremony had not my wife whispered to a sister of the bride to go
and get it. During the ten years I have married twenty-six couples among
the Twanas, and twenty-nine couples among the Clallams, and a number of
other Clallams have been married by other persons. Some very comical
incidents have occurred in connection with some of these ceremonies. In
1876 I was called upon to marry eleven couples at Jamestown. All went
well with the first ten, the head chief being married first, so that the
others might see how it was done, and then nine couples stood up and
were married with the same set of words. But the wife of the other man
was sick with the measles. She had taken cold and they had been driven
in, but had come out again, so that she was as red as a beet. Still they
were afraid that she would die, and as I was not to be there again for
several months they were very anxious to be married so as to legalize
the children. She was so near death that they had moved her from their
good house to a mat-house, which was filled with smoke. The fire was
thrown out, and soon it became less smoky. She was too sick to stand,
and only barely able to sit up. This, however, she managed to do in her
bed, which was on the ground. Her husband sat beside her and took her
hand, and I married them, measles and all. She afterward recovered.
At another time I married a couple who had homesteaded some land, and
who had been married in Indian style long before. As they had never seen
such a ceremony I took the man aside and explained it to him as well as
I was able. After I had begun the ceremony proper, and had said the
words: “You promise to take this woman to be your wife,” and was ready
to say: “You promise to love and take care of her,” he broke out,
saying, “Of course I do! You do not suppose that I have been living with
her for the last fifteen years and am going to put her away now, do you?
See, there is my boy, fourteen years old. Of course I do!” As it was no
use to try to stop him, I did not try, but waited until he was through,
when I said: “All right,” and went on with the ceremony, but laughed
very hard in my sleeve all the time.
A girl in the boarding-school was to be married, and her schoolmates
thought that it ought to be done in extra style. Thanks to the teacher
and matron, the supper and their share of the duties passed off in an
excellent manner. But five of the girls thought that they would act as
bridesmaids, and they were left to manage that part among themselves.
Each one chose a young man who had previously been in school to act as
her escort. Thinking that they would hardly know how to act with so much
ceremony, I invited them to my house fifteen minutes before the marriage
was to take place in church, so that I could instruct them. They came on
time, but what was my surprise to see the bride and groom and the five
girls march into my house, but not a single groomsman, and they thought
that it was all right, even if their partners did not come. Those whom
they had expected were off in the woods, or at home, or if near by, were
far from being dressed for the occasion, while the bridesmaids had spent
a long time in getting themselves ready, and were in full dress. What a
time I had hunting up partners for them! I had to borrow clothes for
those who were on the ground, others whom I wished felt that they had
been slighted so long that they did not care to step into such a place
then, and the ceremony was delayed some before it could all be arranged.
But how I was surprised to see five bridesmaids march in without a
single partner!
At another time, as a sub-chief, well dressed, came forward to be
married, he began to pull off his coat as if ready for a fight,
although his intentions were most peaceable. I told him that it was just
as well to let his coat remain on, and he obeyed.