When the four Indian kings[3] were in this country about a twelvemonth
ago, I often mixed with the rabble and followed them a whole day
together, being wonderfully struck with the sight of everything that is
new or uncommon. I have, since their departure, employed a friend to make
many enquiries of their landlord the upholsterer[4] relating to their
manners and conversation, as also concerning the remarks which they made
in this country: for next to the forming a right notion of such
strangers, I should be desirous of learning what ideas they have
conceived of us.
The upholsterer finding my friend very inquisitive about these his
lodgers, brought him some time since a little bundle of papers, which he
assured him were written by King Sa Ga Yean Qua Rash Tow, and, as he
supposes, left behind by some mistake. These papers are now translated,
and contain abundance of very odd observations, which I find this little
fraternity of kings made during their stay in the isle of Great Britain.
I shall present my reader with a short specimen of them in this paper,
and may perhaps communicate more to him hereafter. In the article of
London are the following words, which without doubt are meant of the
church of St. Paul.
"On the most rising part of the town there stands a huge house, big
enough to contain the whole nation of which I am king. Our good brother E
Tow O Koam king of the Rivers, is of opinion it was made by the hands of
that great God to whom it is consecrated. The kings of Granajah and of
the Six Nations believe that it was created with the earth, and produced
on the same day with the sun and moon. But for my own part, by the best
information that I could get of this matter, I am apt to think that this
prodigious pile was fashioned into the shape it now bears by several
tools and instruments; of which they have a wonderful variety in this
country. It was probably at first an huge mis-shapen rock that grew upon
the top of the hill, which the natives of the country (after having cut
it into a kind of regular figure) bored and hollowed with incredible
pains and industry, till they had wrought in it all those beautiful
vaults and caverns into which it is divided at this day. As soon as this
rock was thus curiously scooped to their liking, a prodigious number of
hands must have been employed in chipping the outside of it, which is now
as smooth as polished marble;[5] and is in several places hewn out into
pillars that stand like the trunks of so many trees bound about the top
with garlands of leaves. It is probable that when this great work was
begun, which must have been many hundred years ago, there was some
religion among this people; for they give it the name of a temple, and
have a tradition that it was designed for men to pay their devotions in.
And indeed, there are several reasons which make us think, that the
natives of this Country had formerly among them some sort of worship; for
they set apart every seventh day as sacred: but upon my going into one of
those holy houses on that day, I could not observe any circumstance of
devotion in their behaviour: There was indeed a man in black who was
mounted above the rest, and seemed to utter something with a great deal
of vehemence; but as for those underneath him, instead of paying their
worship to the Deity of the place, they were most of them bowing and
curtsying to one another, and a considerable number of them fast asleep.
"The Queen of the country appointed two men to attend us, that had enough
of our language to make themselves understood in some few particulars.
But we soon perceived these two were great enemies to one another, and
did not always agree in the same story. We could make a shift to gather
out of one of them, that this island was very much infested with a
monstrous kind of animals, in the shape of men, called Whigs; and he
often told us, that he hoped we should meet with none of them in our way,
for that if we did, they would be apt to knock us down for being kings.
"Our other interpreter used to talk very much of a kind of animal called
a Tory, that was as great a monster as the Whig, and would treat us as
ill for being foreigners.[6] These two creatures, it seems, are born with
a secret antipathy to one another, and engage when they meet as naturally
as the elephant and the rhinoceros. But as we saw none of either of these
species, we are apt to think that our guides deceived us with
misrepresentations and fictions, and amused us with an account of such
monsters as are not really in their country.
"These particulars we made a shift to pick out from the discourse of our
interpreters; which we put together as well as we could, being able to
understand but here and there a word of what they said, and afterwards
making up the meaning of it among ourselves. The men of the country are
very cunning and ingenious in handicraft works; but withal so very idle,
that we often saw young lusty raw-boned fellows carried up and down the
streets in little covered rooms by a couple of porters who are hired for
that service. Their dress is likewise very barbarous, for they almost
strangle themselves about the neck, and bind their bodies with many
ligatures, that we are apt to think are the occasion of several
distempers among them which our country is entirely free from. Instead of
those beautiful feathers with which we adorn our heads, they often buy up
a monstrous bush of hair, which covers their heads, and falls down in a
large fleece below the middle of their backs; with which they walk up and
down the streets, and are as proud of it as if it was of their own
growth.
"We were invited to one of their public diversions, where we hoped to
have seen the great men of their country running down a stag or pitching
a bar, that we might have discovered who were the men of the greatest
perfections in their country;[7] but instead of that, they conveyed us
into an huge room lighted up with abundance of candles, where this lazy
people sat still above three hours to see several feats of ingenuity
performed by others, who it seems were paid for it.
"As for the women of the country, not being able to talk with them, we
could only make our remarks upon them at a distance. They let the hair of
their heads grow to a great length; but as the men make a great show with
heads of hair that are none of their own, the women, who they say have
very fine heads of hair, tie it up in a knot and cover it from being
seen. The women look like angels, and would be more beautiful than the
sun, were it not for little black spots[8] that are apt to break out in
their faces, and sometimes rise in very odd figures. I have observed that
those little blemishes wear off very soon; but when they disappear in one
part of the face, they are very apt to break out in another, insomuch
that I have seen a spot upon the forehead in the afternoon, which was
upon the chin in the morning."
The author then proceeds to shew the absurdity of breeches and
petticoats, with many other curious observations, which I shall reserve
for another occasion. I cannot however conclude this paper without taking
notice, that amidst these wild remarks there now and then appears
something very reasonable. I cannot likewise forbear observing, that we
are all guilty in some measure of the same narrow way of thinking which
we meet with in this abstract of the Indian journal; when we fancy the
customs, dresses, and manners of other countries are ridiculous and
extravagant, if they do not resemble those of our own.[9]
[Footnote 1: On March 16th, 1711, Swift writes to Stella: "Have you seen
the 'Spectator' yet, a paper that comes out every day? 'Tis written by
Mr. Steele, who seems to have gathered new life, and have a new fund
of wit; it is in the same nature as his 'Tatlers,' and they have all of
them had something pretty. I believe Addison and he club." On April 28th
he writes again: "'The Spectator' is written by Steele with Addison's
help: 'tis often very pretty. Yesterday it was made of a noble hint I
gave him long ago for his 'Tatlers,' about an Indian supposed to write
his travels into England. I repent he ever had it. I intended to have
written a book on that subject. I believe he has spent it all in one
paper, and all the under hints there are mine too" (vol. ii., pp. 139 and
166 of present edition). [T.S.]]
[Footnote 2: Juvenal, "Satires," xiv. 321.
"Nature and wisdom never are at strife."--W. GIFFORD.
[T.S.]]
[Footnote 3: Steele's paper on the four Indian kings appeared in "The
Tatler" for May 13th, 1710 (No. 171):--"Who can convince the world that
four kings shall come over here, and He at the Two Crowns and Cushion,
and one of them fall sick, and the place be called King Street, and all
this by mere accident?"--The so-called kings were four Iroquois chiefs
who came over to see Queen Anne. The Queen saw them on April 19th, 1710.
During their visit here Colonel Schuyler and Colonel Francis Nicholson
were appointed to attend them. [T.S.]]
[Footnote 4: They lodged over the shop of Mr. Arne--father of Dr. Arne
and Mrs. Cibber--in King Street, Covent Garden. [T.S.]]
[Footnote 5: The edition of 1712 has, "as the surface of a pebble."
[T.S.]]
[Footnote 6: In "The Tatler" for February 4th, 1709/10 (No. 129),
Steele prints a letter from "Pasquin of Rome," in which he says: "It
would also be very acceptable here to receive an account of those two
religious orders which are lately sprung up amongst you, the Whigs and
the Tories, with the points of doctrine, severities in discipline,
penances, mortifications, and good works, by which they differ one from
another." [T.S.]]
[Footnote 7: The edition of 1712 has: "the persons of the greatest
abilities among them." [T.S.]]
[Footnote 8: See "The Spectator," No. 81, and "The Examiner," No. 32. The
"black spots" are the patches ladies stuck on their faces. [T.S.]]
[Footnote 9: This paper is signed "C.", in the edition of 1712, which is
one of the signatures used by Addison. See, however, Swift's "Journal,"
quoted above. [T.S.]]
* * * * *
[The following paragraph in "The Spectator," No. 575
Monday, August 2. 1714. is believed to have been contributed
by Swift.]
"The following question is started by one of the schoolmen. Supposing the
whole body of the earth were a great ball or mass of the finest sand, and
that a single grain or particle of this sand should be annihilated every
thousand years. Supposing then that you had it in your choice to be happy
all the while this prodigious mass of sand was consuming by this slow
method till there was not a grain of it left, on condition you were to be
miserable for ever after; or, supposing that you might be happy for ever
after, on condition you would be miserable till the whole mass of sand
were thus annihilated at the rate of one sand in a thousand years: Which
of these two cases would you make your choice?"