London, Feb. 15, 1710/11.
Sir,
Though I have wanted leisure to acknowledge the honour of a letter you
were pleased to write to me about six months ago; yet I have been very
careful in obeying some of your commands, and am going on as fast as I
can with the rest. I wish you had thought fit to have conveyed them to me
by a more private hand, than that of the printing-house: for though I was
pleased with a pattern of style and spirit which I proposed to imitate,
yet I was sorry the world should be a witness how far I fell short in
both.
I am afraid you did not consider what an abundance of work you have cut
out for me; neither am I at all comforted by the promise you are so kind
to make, that when I have performed my task,[4] "D[olbe]n shall blush in
his grave among the dead, W[alpo]le among the living, and even Vol[pon]e
shall feel some remorse." How the gentleman in his grave may have kept
his countenance, I cannot inform you, having no acquaintance at all with
the sexton; but for the other two, I take leave to assure you, there have
not yet appeared the least signs of blushing or remorse in either, though
some very good opportunities have offered, if they had thought fit to
accept them; so that with your permission, I had rather engage to
continue this work till they are in their graves too, which I am sure
will happen much sooner than the other.
You desire I would collect "some of those indignities offered last year
to her M[ajest]y." I am ready to oblige you; and have got a pretty
tolerable collection by me, which I am in doubt whether to publish by
itself in a large volume in folio, or scatter them here and there
occasionally in my papers. Though indeed I am sometimes thinking to
stifle them altogether; because such a history will be apt to give
foreigners a monstrous opinion of our country. But since it is your
absolute opinion, the world should be informed; I will with the first
occasion pick out a few choice instances, and let them take their chance
in the ensuing papers. I have likewise in my cabinet certain quires of
paper filled with facts of corruption, mismanagement, cowardice,
treachery, avarice, ambition, and the like, with an alphabetical table,
to save trouble. And perhaps you will not wonder at the care I take to be
so well provided, when you consider the vast expense I am at: I feed
weekly two or three wit-starved writers, who have no other visible
support; besides several others that live upon my offals. In short, I am
like a nurse who suckles twins at one time, and has likewise one or two
whelps constantly to draw her breasts.
I must needs confess, (and it is with grief I speak it) that I have been
the innocent cause of a great circulation of dullness: at the same time,
I have often wondered how it has come to pass, that these industrious
people, after poring so constantly upon the "Examiner,"[5] a paper writ
with plain sense, and in a tolerable style, have made so little
improvement. I am sure it would have fallen out quite otherwise with me;
for, by what I have seen of their performances (and I am credibly
informed they are all of a piece) if I had perused them till now, I
should have been fit for little but to make an advocate in the same
cause.
You, Sir, perhaps will wonder, as most others do, what end these angry
folks propose, in writing perpetually against the "Examiner": it is not
to beget a better opinion of the late ministry, or with any hope to
convince the world that I am in the wrong in any one fact I relate; they
know all that to be lost labour; and yet their design is important
enough: they would fain provoke me by all sort of methods, within the
length of their capacity, to answer their papers; which would render mine
wholly useless to the public; for if it once came to rejoinder and reply,
we should be all upon a level, and then their work would be done.
There is one gentleman indeed, who has written three small pamphlets upon
"the Management of the War," and "the Treaty of Peace:"[6] These I had
intended to have bestowed a paper in _Examining_, and could easily have
made it appear, that whatever he says of truth, relates nothing at all to
the evils we complain of, or controls one syllable of what I have ever
advanced. Nobody that I know of did ever dispute the Duke of
M[arlboroug]h's courage, conduct or success, they have been always
unquestionable, and will continue to be so, in spite of the malice of his
enemies, or, which is yet more, the _weakness of his advocates_. The
nation only wished to see him taken out of ill hands, and put into
better. But, what is all this to the conduct of the late m[i]n[i]stry,
the shameful mismanagements in Spain, or the wrong steps in the treaty of
peace, the secret of which will not bear the light, and is consequently
by this author very poorly defended? These and many other things I
would have shewn; but upon second thoughts determined to have done it in
a discourse by itself,[7] rather than take up room here, and break into
the design of this paper, from whence I have resolved to banish
controversy as much as possible. But the postscript to his third pamphlet
was enough to disgust me from having any dealings at all with such a
writer; unless that part was left to some footman[8] he had picked up
among the boys who follow the camp, whose character it would suit much
better than that of the supposed author.[9] At least, the foul language,
the idle impotent menace, and the gross perverting of an innocent
expression in the 4th "Examiner,"[10] joined to that respect I shall ever
have for the function of a divine, would incline me to believe so. But
when he turns off his footman, and disclaims that postscript, I will tear
it out, and see how far the rest deserves to be considered.
But, Sir, I labour under a much greater difficulty, upon which I should
be glad to hear your advice. I am worried on one side by the Whigs for
being too severe, and by the Tories on the other for being too gentle. I
have formerly hinted a complaint of this; but having lately received two
peculiar letters, among many others, I thought nothing could better
represent my condition, or the opinion which the warm men of both sides
have of my conduct, than to send you a transcript of each. The former is
exactly in these words.
"_To the 'Examiner.'_
"_MR. EXAMINER,_
"_By your continual reflecting upon the conduct of the late m[i]n[i]stry,
and by your encomiums on the present, it is as clear as the sun at noon-
day, that your are a Jesuit or Nonjuror, employed by the friends of the
Pretender, to endeavour to introduce Popery, and slavery, and arbitrary
power, and to infringe the sacred Act of Toleration of Dissenters. Now,
Sir, since the most ingenious authors who write weekly against you, are
not able to teach you better manners, I would have you to know, that
those great and excellent men, as low as you think them at present, do
not want friends that will take the first proper occasion to cut your
throat, as all such enemies to moderation ought to be served. It is well
you have cleared another person[11] from being author of your cursed
libels; though d--mme, perhaps after all, that may be a bamboozle too.
However I hope we shall soon ferret you out. Therefore I advise you as a
friend, to let fall your pen, and retire betimes; for our patience is now
at an end. It is enough to lose our power and employments, without
setting the whole nation against us. Consider three years is the life of
a party; and d--mme, every dog has his day, and it will be our turn next;
therefore take warning, and learn to sleep in a whole skin, or whenever
we are uppermost, by G--d you shall find no mercy._"
The other letter was in the following terms.
"_To the 'Examiner.'_
"_SIR,_,
"_I am a country member, and constantly send a dozen of your papers down
to my electors. I have read them all, but I confess not with the
satisfaction I expected. It is plain you know a great deal more than you
write; why will you not let us have it all out? We are told, that the
Qu[een] has been a long time treated with insolence by those she has
most obliged; Pray, Sir, let us have a few good stories upon that head.
We have been cheated of several millions; why will you not set a mark on
the knaves who are guilty, and shew us what ways they took to rob the
public at such a rate? Inform us how we came to be disappointed of peace
about two years ago: In short, turn the whole mystery of iniquity
inside-out, that every body may have a view of it. But above all, explain
to us, what was at the bottom of that same impeachment: I am sure I never
liked it; for at that very time, a dissenting preacher in our
neighbourhood, came often to see our parson; it could be for no good, for
he would walk about the barns and stables, and desire to look into the
church, as who should say, These will shortly be mine; and we all
believed he was then contriving some alterations against he got into
possession: And I shall never forget, that a Whig justice offered me then
very high for my bishop's lease. I must be so bold to tell you, Sir, that
you are too favourable: I am sure, there was no living in quiet for us
while they were in the saddle. I was turned out of the commission, and
called a Jacobite, though it cost me a thousand pound in joining with
the Prince of Orange at the Revolution. The discoveries I would have you
make, are of some facts for which they ought to be hanged; not that I
value their heads, but I would see them exposed, which may be done upon
the owners' shoulders, as well as upon a pole, &c."_
These, Sir, are the sentiments of a whole party on one side, and of
considerable numbers on the other: however, taking the _medium_ between
these extremes, I think to go on as I have hitherto done, though I am
sensible my paper would be more popular, if I did not lean too much to
the favourable side. For nothing delights the people more than to see
their oppressors humbled, and all their actions, painted with proper
colours, set out in open view. _Exactos tyrannos densum humeris bibit
aure vulgus._[12]
But as for the Whigs, I am in some doubt whether this mighty concern they
shew for the honour of the late ministry, may not be affected, at least
whether their masters will thank them for their zeal in such a cause. It
is I think, a known story of a gentleman who fought another for calling
him "son of a whore;" but the lady desired her son to make no more
quarrels upon that subject, _because it was true_. For pray, Sir; does it
not look like a jest, that such a pernicious crew, after draining our
wealth, and discovering the most destructive designs against our Church
and State, instead of thanking fortune that they are got off safe in
their persons and plunder, should hire these bullies of the pen to defend
their reputations? I remember I thought it the hardest case in the world,
when a poor acquaintance of mine, having fallen among sharpers, where he
lost all his money, and then complaining he was cheated, got a good
beating into the bargain, for offering to affront gentlemen. I believe
the only reason why these purloiners of the public, cause such a clutter
to be made about their reputations, is to prevent inquisitions, that
might tend towards making them refund: like those women they call
shoplifters, who when they are challenged for their thefts, appear to be
mighty angry and affronted, for fear of being searched.
I will dismiss you, Sir, when I have taken notice of one particular.
Perhaps you may have observed in the tolerated factious papers of the
week, that the E[arl] of R[ochester][13] is frequently reflected on for
having been ecclesiastical commissioner and lord treasurer, in the reign
of the late King James. The fact is true; and it will not be denied to
his immortal honour, that because he could not comply with the measures
then taking, he resigned both those employments; of which the latter was
immediately supplied by a commission, composed of two popish lords and
the present E[ar]l of G[o]d[o]l[phi]n.[14]
[Footnote 1: No. 28 in the reprint. [T.S.]]
[Footnote 2: Horace, "Epodes," xvii. 56.
"Safely shalt thou Cotytto's rites
Divulge?"--J. DUNCOMBE.
[T.S.]]
[Footnote 3: "A Letter to the Examiner. Printed in the year, 1710,"
appeared shortly after the issue of the second number of "The Examiner."
It was attributed to St. John. [T.S.]]
[Footnote 4: The writer of the "Letter" invited the "Examiner" to "paint
... the present state of the war abroad, and expose to public view those
principles upon which, of late, it has been carried on ... Collect some
few of the indignities which have been this year offered to her
Majesty.... When this is done, D----n shall blush in his grave among the
dead, W----le among the living, and even Vol----e shall feel some
remorse." [T.S.]]
[Footnote 5: "The Medley" treated "The Examiner" with scant courtesy, and
never failed to cast ridicule on its work. In No. 21 (February 19th,
1711) the writer says: "No man of common sense ever thought any body
wrote the paper but Abel Roper, or some of his allies, there being not
one quality in 'The Examiner' which Abel has not eminently distinguished
himself by since he set up for a political writer. 'Tis true, Abel is the
more modest of the two, and it never entered into his head to say, as my
friend does of his paper, 'Tis writ with plain sense and in a tolerable
style.'" In No. 23 (March 5th) he says: "There is indeed a great
resemblance between his brother Abel and himself; and I find a great
dispute among the party, to which of them to give the preference. They
are both news writers, as they utter things which no body ever heard of
_but from their papers_."
Abel Roper conducted the Tory paper called "The Post Boy." (See note on
p. 290 of vol. v. of present edition.) [T.S.] ]
[Footnote 6: Two of these pamphlets were already referred to in a
postscript to No. 24 of "The Examiner" (see note, p. 151). The third was
"The Negotiations for a Treaty of Peace, in 1709. Consider'd, In a Third
Letter to a Tory-Member. Part the First." Dated December 22nd, 1710, The
"Fourth Letter" was dated January 10th, 1710/11. [T.S.]]
[Footnote 7: It may be that Swift's intention was carried out in two
pamphlets, one entitled, "An Examination of the Management of the War. In
a Letter to My Lord * * *," published March 3rd, 1710/1; and the other
styled, "An Examination of the Third and Fourth Letters to a Tory
Member, relating to the Negociations for a Treaty of Peace in 1709. In
a Second Letter to My Lord * * *" [With a Postscript to the Medley's
Footman], published March 15th of the same year. [T.S.]]
[Footnote 8: The postscript to "An Examination of the Third and Fourth
Letters" mentions a pamphlet, "An Answer to the Examination of the
Management of the War," by the Medley's Footman. "The Medley," No. 21
(February 19th), remarks: "He could also prove there were wrong steps in
the Treaty of Peace, the Allies would have all; but he won't do it,
because he is treated like a footman." [T.S.]]
[Footnote 9: _I. e._ Dr. Francis Hare. [T.S.]]
[Footnote 10: Dr. Hare, in the postscript to his third pamphlet, said:
"The Examiner is extremely mistaken, if he thinks I shall enter the lists
with so prostitute a writer, who can neither speak truth, nor knows when
he hears it." He calls the writer "a mercenary scribbler," and speaks of
his paper as "weekly libels." He then quotes an expression from the
fourth number (published before Swift undertook "The Examiner"), and
concludes by saying that he had met more than his match in the
ingenious writer of "The Medley," even were he much abler than he is.
The fourth "Examiner" had printed a "Letter from the Country," in which
the following passage occurs: "Can any wise people think it possible,
that the Crown should be so mad as to choose ministers, who would not
support public credit? ... This is such a wildness as is never ... to be
met with in the Roman story; except in a devouring Sejanus at home, or an
ambitious Catiline at the head of a mercenary army."
The writer of "An Examination of the Third and Fourth Letters," says:
"The words indeed are in the paper quoted, that is, 'The Examiner,' No.
4, but the application is certainly the proper thought of the author of
the postscript" (p. 28). [T.S.]]
[Footnote 11: _I. e._ Prior. See No. 27, p. 168. [T.S.]]
[Footnote 12: Horace, "Odes," II. xiii. 31-2.
"Tyrants slain,
In thicker crowds the shadowy throng
Drink deeper down the martial song."--P. FRANCIS.
[T.S.]]
[Footnote 13: Laurence Hyde, Earl of Rochester, was lord treasurer from
168 4/5 to 168 6/7, when five commissioners were appointed: Lord
Belasyse, Lord Godolphin, Lord Dover, Sir John Ernle (chancellor of the
exchequer), and Sir Stephen Foxe. [T.S.]]
[Footnote 14: "The Medley," No. 22 (February 26th, 1711) remarks on this:
"He might have said with as much truth, 'twas supplied by my Lord G----
and two Protestant knights, Sir Stephen Fox and Sir John Ernle." [T.S.]]