_From my own Apartment in Channel-Row, March 14._
The dignity and distinction of men of wit is seldom enough considered,
either by themselves or others; their own behaviour, and the usage they
meet with, being generally very much of a piece. I have at this time in
my hands an alphabetical list of the _beaux esprits_ about this town,
four or five of whom have made the proper use of their genius, by gaining
the esteem of the best and greatest men, and by turning it to their own
advantage in some establishment of their fortunes, however unequal to
their merit; others satisfying themselves with the honour of having
access to great tables, and of being subject to the call of every man
of quality, who upon occasion wants one to say witty things for the
diversion of the company. This treatment never moves my indignation so
much, as when it is practised by a person, who though he owes his own
rise purely to the reputation of his parts, yet appears to be as much
ashamed of it, as a rich city knight to be denominated from the trade
he was first apprenticed to, and affects the air of a man born to his
titles, and consequently above the character of a wit, or a scholar. If
those who possess great endowments of the mind would set a just value
upon themselves, they would think no man's acquaintance whatsoever a
condescension, nor accept it from the greatest upon unworthy or
ignominious terms. I know a certain lord that has often invited a set
of people, and proposed for their diversion a buffoon player, and an
eminent poet, to be of the party; and which was yet worse, thought them
both sufficiently recompensed by the dinner, and the honour of his
company. This kind of insolence is risen to such a height, that I my self
was the other day sent to by a man with a title, whom I had never seen,
desiring the favour that I would dine with him and half a dozen of his
select friends. I found afterwards, the footman had told my maid below
stairs, that my lord having a mind to be merry, had resolved right or
wrong to send for honest Isaac. I was sufficiently provoked with the
message; however I gave the fellow no other answer, than that "I believed
he had mistaken the person, for I did not remember that his lord had ever
been introduced to me." I have reason to apprehend that this abuse hath
been owing rather to a meanness of spirit in men of parts, than to the
natural pride or ignorance of their patrons. Young students coming up
to town from the places of their education, are dazzled with the grandeur
they everywhere meet, and making too much haste to distinguish their
parts, instead of waiting to be desired and caressed, are ready to pay
their court at any rate to a great man, whose name they have seen in a
public paper, or the frontispiece of a dedication. It has not always been
thus: wit in polite ages has ever begot either esteem or fear. The hopes
of being celebrated, or the dread of being stigmatized, procured an
universal respect and awe for the persons of such as were allowed to have
the power of distributing fame or infamy where they pleased. Aretine had
all the princes of Europe his tributaries, and when any of them had
committed a folly that laid them open to his censure, they were forced by
some present extraordinary to compound for his silence; of which there is
a famous instance on record. When Charles the Fifth had miscarried
in his African expedition, which was looked upon as the weakest
undertaking of that great Emperor, he sent Aretine[4] a gold chain, who
made some difficulty of accepting it, saying, "It was too small a present
in all reason for so great a folly." For my own part, in this point I
differ from him, and never could be prevailed upon, by any valuable
consideration to conceal a fault or a folly since I first took the
censorship upon me.
Having long considered with my self the ill application that some make of
their talents, I have this day erected a Court of Alienation, by the
statutes of which the next a kin is empowered to _beg_ the parts and
understanding of any such person as can be proved, either by embezzling,
making a wrong use, or no use at all of the said parts and understanding,
not to know the true value thereof: who shall immediately be put out of
possession, and disqualified for ever; the said kinsman giving sufficient
security that he will employ them as the court shall direct. I have set
down under certain heads the several ways by which men prostitute and
abuse their parts, and from thence have framed a table of rules, whereby
the plaintiff may be informed when he has a good title to eject the
defendant. I may in a following paper give the world some account of the
proceedings of this court. I have already got two able critics for my
assessors upon the bench, who, though they have always exercised their
pens in taking off from the wit of others, have never pretended to
challenge any themselves, and consequently are in no danger of being
engaged in making claims, or of having any suits commence against them.
Every writer shall be tried by his peers, throughly versed in that point
wherein he pretends to excel; for which reason the jury can never consist
of above half the ordinary number. I shall in general be very tender how
I put any person out of his wits; but as the management of such
possessions is of great consequence to the world, I shall hold my self
obliged to vest the right in such hands as will answer the great purposes
they were intended for, and leave the former proprietors to seek their
fortune in some other way.
[Footnote 1: Called No. 24 in the reprint of "The Tatler," vol. v. [T.
S.]]
[Footnote 2: _Eclogues_, ix. 2-4.
"O Lycidas,
We never thought, yet have we lived to see
A stranger seize our farm, and say, 'Tis mine,
Begone, ye old inhabitants."--C.R. KENNEDY.
[T.S.]]
[Footnote 3: _I.e._ 1710-11. Under date March 14th Swift writes to
Stella: "Little Harrison the 'Tatler' came to me, and begged me to
dictate a paper to him, which I was forced in charity to do." [T.S.]]
[Footnote 4: Pietro Aretino (1492-1557), called "the scourge of Princes."
His prose is fiercely satirical, and his poetry as strongly obscene. His
works were condemned for their indecency and impiety. He received
numerous and valuable gifts from those who were afraid of his criticisms.
His sonnets, written to accompany engravings by Marc Antonio, from
designs by Giulio Romano (1524), largely contributed to his reputation
for obscenity. [T.S.]]