The Custom-house, London, although it figures in almanacs in the list
of 'places of public amusement,' is by no means a cheerful building.
Situated in the extremely busy and dirty thoroughfare called Lower
Thames Street, next door to Billingsgate Market, far-famed for good
fish and choice language, it has few attractions for those who are not
compelled by business needs to enter its portal. Here is nothing but
noisy activity. Merchants' clerks, porters, car-men, and the numberless
beings who form the rank and file of a vast commercial centre, elbow
each other as they push through the ever swinging doors in their
anxiety to get their business transacted.
Occasionally a knot of country people may be met with in the
'Long-room' staring about them in the fruitless search after anything
in the shape of entertainment; but with these exceptions the place is
given up to business. If these visitors were able to find their way to
the Museum, they would there see much to both interest and astonish
them; but this part of the building is perhaps necessarily withheld
from the general public, for there seems in the busy hive so much for
everybody to do, that drones in the shape of sight-seers would hardly
be welcome.
Yet, the Custom-house contains a museum of real curiosities--memorials
of attempts at smuggling. Various causes have contributed to the
decline of contrabandism as a means of livelihood, chief among which
are the necessary reductions and alterations in the Customs tariff
since the adoption in this country of free-trade principles. When
such valuable and portable articles as watches and lace were heavily
taxed, the temptation to secrete them was naturally very common. At
the same period too the duty on spirits was about five times as much
as its intrinsic worth, and therefore this class of goods afforded a
rich harvest to the successful smuggler. Things are changed now, for
lace and watches are duty free, and the tax upon spirits has been
reduced considerably more than one half. Tobacco and spirits, owing
perhaps to the universal demand for them, have always, above other
things, met with the smuggler's particular regard; and such cases
as now come before our police magistrates are generally confined to
these two articles. A matter-of-fact heavy fine and confiscation of
the surreptitious goods, is the usual result of conviction; and the
smuggler--which our childhood's fancy painted as a brave hero fighting
the myrmidons of an oppressive government in some wild cave on the
sea-shore--is quietly walked off to prison until he can pay the
forfeit. 'The Smuggler's Cave' still remains; for with that clinging
fondness for the traditions of past times, it is the fashion to dignify
any natural crevice in our cliffs with that title; but now the modern
policeman steps upon the scene, and poetical ideas vanish with the
sound of his creaking contract boots.
The chief evidence of smuggling as it has existed within the present
century is furnished by certain articles which have been seized from
time to time, and which are now lodged in the Custom-house Museum. It
is to this Museum that we now intend to direct our readers' attention,
and more especially to a certain large cabinet in the corner of the
room, the contents of which supply a title to this paper. The first
thing which is pointed out to us is a ship's 'fender,' which we may
remind our readers is a block of wood with a rope attached slung over
the bows to prevent the abrasion which might be caused by contact
with another vessel. This particular fender was found to be hollow,
and to contain several pounds of compressed tobacco. The officer who
thought of looking for the soothing weed in such a receptacle must
have been an extremely 'cute individual. But here is a still more
extraordinary hiding-place, and one which must have involved a journey
aloft for its detection--a ship's block, the sheave or wheel of which
is actually made of solid tobacco. Here is an ornamental pedestal
which once adorned the corner of a captain's cabin, and would perhaps
adorn it still, had it not been found gorged with contraband cigars.
Another commander appears to have been a more moderate smoker, for he
was content with only two pounds of cheroots, which were found inside
a sham loaf on his breakfast table. Here we have a number of cigars
knotted singly on a string, like the tail of a kite; these were dropped
between the inner and outer timbers of a ship's side; whilst holes
drilled in the ends of an egg-box furnish lodging for several more.
A broomstick does not seem at first sight to offer much room for
concealment, but here is one which, accidentally broken, revealed a
core of that rope-like commodity known to those who chew the weed,
as 'pigtail.' Cakes of tobacco formed to fit into the sole of a boot
shew another ingenious mode of disposal. But the prize for inventive
talent must certainly be awarded to the clever rascal who compressed
snuff into slabs, and stamped them to exactly imitate the oil-cakes on
which cattle are fattened. Whether the discovery of the deception was
owing to moral objections on the part of some experienced cow to chew
anything stronger than cud does not transpire; but the real nature of
the food was somehow ascertained, and what might have proved the staple
of a lucrative trade, was transformed into the original dust from which
it sprung.
The stewardess of a Jersey steamer is the next delinquent who comes
before our notice. On various occasions the petticoat has been found to
be a useful auxiliary to the smuggler, and the one which was taken from
this lady sufficiently proves the truth of our remark, for twenty-seven
pounds of tobacco were hidden in its folds. Two more garments of the
same nature contained respectively eighteen and twenty pounds of
cigars; whilst another, with the help of a number of fish-bladders
hanging from the waistband, was charged with several gallons of
brandy. Bladders of cognac have also been found attached to a ship's
keel several feet under water. It is to be presumed that the discovery
of these last was not made in the Thames, the water of that river not
being celebrated for its transparency. Artificial lobster-pots thrown
overboard with corks attached, also afford favourite receptacles for
various articles. Another stewardess, in this case belonging to a
Rotterdam boat, did a little ostensible trading in pigeons. Here is the
box in which they were caged, constructed with a false bottom, below
which were hidden a few pounds of Cavendish. It is a question whether
birds ever before so well deserved to be called _carrier_ pigeons. The
journey to Rotterdam is but a short one, so that although this lady
did not indulge in such wholesale doings as her sister of Jersey, she
worked on the principle that 'many a little makes a mickle.' Here is
an apparently well-bound volume which a studious individual carried
under his arm during the transaction of his daily business at one of
the docks. It was found to be made of glass, moulded into the form of a
book, and covered with leather. That it was a work of much spirit was
proved from the fact that it was full of _eau de vie_. Another book is
exhibited, the leaves of which are punched through with round holes
from cover to cover, for the reception of watches.
We are told that the detection of most of these contrivances for
concealing goods about the person has been due to the nervous
trepidation of the delinquents themselves; an apt illustration of
Hamlet's words: 'Thus conscience does make cowards of us all.' It would
seem an almost impossible task to secrete one hundred and forty-seven
watches in a single garment, but nevertheless one individual succeeded
in doing so. Unfortunately he found a difficulty in sitting down, and
the continued fatigue of keeping his feet during a long voyage so
told upon his nerves, that fancying he was detected and watched, he
gave himself up to justice, literally clothed in his own confusion.
Here we have four tin boxes about an inch in depth and about two feet
square, having a capacity of four and a half gallons, which, filled
with spirit, were found hidden below the clothing in a passenger's
boxes. But the latest contribution to the Museum is a small quantity
of treacle-like fluid labelled 'Nicotine Poison.' This is a sample of
a consignment lately received from Hamburg, and politely returned to
the port of shipment, by order of the Customs Board. It is imagined
that some enterprising genius had it in his mind to convert by its
aid the refuse leaves of the British cabbage into Havana cigars. We
have already had experience of Hamburg sherry and Hamburg butter, and
doubtless the Customs Commissioners had these commodities in view when
they rejected the persuasive overtures of the narcotic in question.
Besides the things which we have enumerated, there are various articles
of interest in this Museum. Several curious old prints, shewing what
the Custom-house was like in the days when the London suburbs were
little villages, separated from the city by some miles of meadow-land.
It was then the practice of the Commissioners to ride or drive to
their duties, and stable accommodation was therefore a necessary
adjunct of the premises. Here too are shewn the dies used when each
outport had its own particular seal--this was years ago, before the
telegraphs and railways had so effectually lessened their distance from
London. 'Leverpoole' was then a creek attached to the port of Chester;
on the other hand, many towns which have now sunk into comparative
insignificance, were then flourishing sea-ports of great commercial
activity. Some curious records relative to the payment of officers
are also well worth attention. Here we learn, by marginal notes, that
certain unfortunate beings are to be deprived of their salaries, 'they
being Papists;' whilst one is mulcted of his due because 'his wife
is now or was lately a Papist.' These notes were written in the year
previous to that which saw the landing of the Prince of Orange, and
they form a singularly terse comment upon the state of public feeling
which led to that event. The world is now nearly two hundred years
older, and has grown more tolerant. We cannot say that it has become
honest; but for the reasons already given, it is not likely that many
additions will be made to the curiosities of Smuggling.