my power has made him obedient to my will; I have a right to avail
myself of the intelligences he gains; and by him I have learnt every
thing that has passed since your birth;--what your future fortune is to
be, even he cannot tell; his view is circumscribed to a small point of
time; he only can tell what will be the consequence of taking this or
that step, but your free-agency prevents his impelling you to act
otherwise than as you see fit. I move upon a more enlarged sphere; he
tells me what will happen; and as I see the remote, as well as
immediate consequence, I shall, from time to time, give you my
advice.--Advice, however, when asked, is seldom adhered to; but when
given voluntarily, the receiver has no obligation to follow it.--I shall
in a moment discover how this is received by you; and your deviation
from the rules I shall prescribe will be a hint for me to withdraw my
counsel where it is not acceptable. All that then will remain for me,
will be to deplore your too early initiation in a vicious world, where
to escape unhurt or uncontaminated is next to a miracle.
I said, I should soon discover whether my advice would be taken in the
friendly part it is offered: I shall perceive it the next time I have
the happiness of beholding you, and I see you every day; I am never one
moment absent from you in idea, and in my _mind's eye_ I see you each
moment; only while I conceal myself from you, can I be of service to
you;--press not then to discover who I am; but be convinced--nay, I
shall take every opportunity to convince you, that I am the most sincere
and disinterested of your friends; I am a friend to your soul, my Julia,
and I flatter myself mine is congenial with your's.
I told you, you were surrounded with dangers; the greatest perhaps comes
from the quarter least suspected; and for that very reason, because,
where no harm is expected, no guard is kept. Against such a man as Lord
Biddulph, a watchful centinel is planted at every avenue. I caution you
not against him; there you are secure; no temptation lies in that path,
no precipice lurks beneath those footsteps. You never can fall, unless
your heart takes part with the tempter; and I am morally certain a man
of Lord Biddulph's cast can never touch your's; and yet it is of him you
seem most apprehensive. Ask yourself, is it not because he has the
character of a man of intrigue? Do you not feel within your own breast a
repugnance to the assiduities he at all times takes pains to shew you?
Without doubt, Lord Biddulph has designs upon you;--and few men approach
you without. Oh! Julia, it is difficult for the most virtuous to behold
you daily, and suppress those feelings your charms excite. In a breast
inured to too frequent indulgence in vicious courses, your beauty will
be a consuming fire, but in a soul whose delight is moral rectitude, it
will be a cherishing flame, that animates, not destroys. But how few the
latter! And how are you to distinguish the insidious betrayer from the
open violator. To you they are equally culpable; but only one can be
fatal. Ask your own heart--the criterion, by which I would have you
judge--ask your own heart, which is intitled to your detestation most;
the man who boldly attacks you, and by his threats plainly tells you he
is a robber; or the one, who, under the semblance of imploring your
charity, deprives you of your most valued property? Will it admit of a
doubt? Make the application: examine yourself, and I conjure you examine
your acquaintance; but be cautious whom you trust. Never make any of
your male visitors the _confidant_ of any thing which passes between
yourself and husband. This can never be done without a manifest breach
of modest decorum. Have I not said enough for the present? Yet let me
add thus much, to secure to myself your confidence. I wish you to place
an unlimited one in me; continue to do so, while I continue to merit it;
and by this rule you shall judge of my merit--The moment you discover
that I urge you to any thing improper, or take advantage of my
self-assumed office, and insolently prescribe when I should only point
out, or that I should seem to degrade others in your eyes, and
particularly your husband, believe me to be an impostor, and treat me
as such; disregard my sinister counsel, and consign me to that scorn and
derision I shall so much deserve. But, while virtue inspires my pen,
afford me your attention; and may that God, whom I attest to prove my
truth, ever be indulgent to you, and for ever and ever protect you! So
prays
Your SYLPH."
Who can it be, my Louisa, who takes this friendly interest in my
welfare? It cannot be Lady Melford; the address bespeaks it to be a man;
but what man is the question; one too who sees me every day: it cannot
be the Baron, for he seems to say, Ton-hausen is a more dangerous person
than Lord Biddulph. But why do I perplex myself with guessing? Of what
consequence is it who is my friend, since I am convinced he is sincere.
Yes! thou friendly monitor, I will be directed by thee! I shall now act
with more confidence, as my Sylph tells me he will watch over and
apprize me of every danger. I hope his task will not be a difficult one;
for, though ignorant, I am not obstinate--on the contrary, even Sir
William, whom I do not suspect of flattery, allows me to be extremely
docile. I am, my beloved Louisa, most affectionately, your's,
JULIA STANLEY.
LETTER XVIII.
TO Lady STANLEY.
Blessed, forever blessed, be the friendly monitor! Oh! my Julia, how
fortunate are you, thus to become the care of heaven, which has raised
you up a guide, with all the dispositions, but with more enlarged
abilities than thy poor Louisa!--And much did you stand in need of a
guide, my sister: be not displeased that I write thus. But why do I
deprecate your anger? you, who were ever so good, so tender, and
indulgent to the apprehensions of your friends. Yet, indeed, my dear,
you are reprehensible in many passages of your letters, particularly the
last. You say, you cannot suspect Sir William of flattery; would you
wish him to be a flatterer? Did you think him such, when he swore your
charms had kindled the brightest flames in his bosom? No, Julia, you
gave him credit then for all he said; but, allowing him to be changed,
are you quite the same? No; with all the tenderness of my affection, I
cannot but think you are altered since your departure from the vale of
innocent simplicity. It is the knowledge of the world which has deprived
you of those native charms, above all others. Why are you not resolute
with Sir William, to leave London? Our acquiescence in matters which are
hurtful both to our principles and constitution is a weakness. Obedience
to the will of those who seek to seduce us from the right road is no
longer a virtue; but a reprehensible participation of our leader's
faults. Be assured, your husband will listen to your persuasive
arguments. Exert all your eloquence: and, Heaven, I beseech thee, grant
success to the undertaking of the dearest of all creatures to,
LOUISA GRENVILLE.
LETTER XIX.
To Miss GRENVILLE.
Ah! my dear Louisa, you are single, and know not the trifling influence
a woman has over her husband in this part of the world. Had I the
eloquence of Demosthenes or Cicero, it would fail. Sir William is
wedded--I was going to say, to the pleasures of this bewitching place. I
corrected myself in the instant; for, was he wedded, most probably he
would be as tired of it as he is of his wife. If I was to be resolute in
my determination to leave London, I must go by myself and,
notwithstanding such a circumstance might accord with his wishes, I do
not chuse to begin the separation. All the determination I can make is,
to strive to act so as to deserve a better fate than has fallen to my
lot. And, beset as I am on all sides, I shall have some little merit in
so doing. But you, my love, ought not to blame me so severely as you do.
Indeed, Louisa, if you knew the slights I hourly receive from my
husband, and the conviction which I have of his infidelity, you would
not criticize my expressions so harshly. I could add many more things,
which would justify me in the eye of the world, were I less cautious
than I am; but his failings would not extenuate any on my side.
Would you believe that any man, who wished to preserve the virtue of his
wife, would introduce her to the acquaintance and protection of a woman
with whom he had had an intrigue? What an opinion one must have in
future of such a man! I am indebted for this piece of intelligence to
Lord Biddulph. I am grateful for the information, though I despise the
motive which induced him. Yes, Louisa! Lady Anne Parker is even more
infamous than Lady Besford--Nay, Lord Biddulph offered to convince me
they still had their private assignations. My pride, I own it, was more
wounded than my love, from this discovery, as it served to confirm me in
my idea, that Sir William never had a proper regard for me; but that he
married me merely because he could obtain me on no other terms. Yet,
although I was sensibly pained with this news, I endeavoured to conceal
my emotions from the disagreeable prying eyes of my informer. I affected
to disbelieve his assertions, and ridiculed his ill-policy in striving
to found his merit on such base and detestable grounds. He had too much
_effronterie_ to be chagrined with my raillery. I therefore assumed a
more serious air; and plainly told him, no man would dare to endeavour
to convince a woman of the infidelity of her husband, but from the
basest and most injurious motives; and, as such, was intitled to my
utmost contempt; that, from my soul, I despised both the information and
informer, and should give him proofs of it, if ever he should again have
the confidence to repeat his private histories to the destruction of the
peace and harmony of families. To extenuate his fault, he poured forth a
most elaborate speech, abounding with flattery; and was proceeding to
convince me of his adoration; but I broke off the discourse, by assuring
him, "I saw through his scheme from the first; but the man, who sought
to steal my heart from my husband, must pursue a very different course
from that he had followed; as it was very unlikely I should withdraw my
affections from one unworthy object, to place them on another infinitely
worse." He attempted a justification, which I would not allow him
opportunity of going on with, as I left the room abruptly. However, his
Lordship opened my eyes, respecting the conduct of Lady Anne. I have
mentioned, in a former letter, that she used to give hints about my
husband. I am convinced it was her jealousy, which prompted her to give
me, from time to time, little anecdotes of Sir William's _amours_. But
ought I to pardon him for introducing me to such a woman? Oh! Louisa! am
I to blame, if I no longer respect such a man?
Yesterday I had a most convincing proof, that there are a sort of
people, who have all the influence over the heart of a man which a
virtuous wife ought to have--but seldom has: by some accident, a hook of
Sir William's waistcoat caught hold of the trimming of my sleeve. He had
just received a message, and, being in a hurry to disengage himself,
lifted up the flap of the waistcoat eagerly, and snatched it away; by
which means, two or three papers dropped out of the pocket; he seemed
not to know it, but flew out of the room, leaving them on the ground. I
picked them up but, I take heaven to witness, without the least
intention or thought of seeing the contents--when one being open, and
seeing my name written in a female hand, and the signature of _Lucy
Gardener_, my curiosity was excited to the greatest degree--yet I had a
severe conflict first with myself; but _femaleism_ prevailed, and I
examined the contents, which were as follow, for I wrote them down:
"Is it thus, Sir William, you repay my tenderness in your favour? Go,
thou basest of all wretches! am I to be made continually a sacrifice to
every new face that strikes thy inconstant heart? If I was contented to
share you with a wife, and calmly acquiesced, do not imagine I shall
rest in peace till you have given up Lady Anne. How have you sworn you
would see her no more! How have you falsified your oath! you spent
several hours _tête à tête_ with her yesterday. Deny it not. I could
tear myself to pieces when I reflect, that I left Biddulph, who adored
me, whose whole soul was devoted to me,--to be slighted thus by
you.--Oh! that Lady Stanley knew of your baseness! yet she is only your
wife. Her virtue may console her for the infidelity of her husband; but
I have sacrificed every thing, and how am I repaid! Either be mine
alone, or never again approach
LUCY GARDENER."
The other papers were of little consequence. I deliberated some time
what I should do with this precious _morçeau_; at last I resolved to
burn it, and give the remainder, with as much composure as possible, to
Sir William's _valet_, to restore to his master. I fancied he would
hardly challenge me about the _billet,_ as he is the most careless man
in the universe. You will perceive there is another case for Lord
Biddulph seeking to depreciate my husband. He has private revenge to
gratify, for the loss of his mistress. Oh! what wretches are these men!
Is the whole world composed of such?--No! even in this valley of vice I
see some exceptions; some, who do honour to the species to which they
belong. But I must not whisper to myself their perfections; and it is
less dangerous for me to dwell upon the vices of the one than the
virtues of the other. Adieu!
JULIA STANLEY.
LETTER XX.
To Miss GRENVILLE.
To keep my mind constantly employed upon different objects, and prevent
my thoughts attaching themselves to improper ones, I have lately
attended the card-tables. From being an indifferent spectator of the
various fashionable games, I became an actor in them; and at length play
proved very agreeable. As I was an utter novice at games of skill, those
of chance presented themselves as the best. At first I risked only
trifles; but, by little and little, my party encroached upon the rules I
had laid down, and I could no longer avoid playing their stake. But I
have done with play for ever. It is no longer the innocent amusement I
thought it; and I must find out some other method of spending my
time--since this might in the end be destructive.
The other night, at a party, we made up a set at bragg, which was my
favourite game. After various vicissitudes, I lost every shilling I had
in my pocket; and, being a broken-merchant, sat silently by the table.
Every body was profuse in the offers of accommodating me with cash; but
I refused to accept their contribution. Lord Biddulph, whom you know to
be justly my aversion, was very earnest; but I was equally peremptory.
However, some time after, I could not resist the entreaty of Baron
Ton-hausen, who, in the genteelest manner, intreated me to make use of
his purse for the evening; with great difficulty he prevailed on me to
borrow ten guineas--and was once more set up. Fortune now took a
favourable turn, and when the party broke up, I had repaid the Baron,
replaced my original stock, and brought off ninety-five guineas.
Flushed with success, and more attached than ever to the game; I invited
the set to meet the day after the next at my house. I even counted the
hours till the time arrived. Rest departed from my eye-lids, and I felt
all the eagerness of expectation.
About twelve o'clock of the day my company were to meet, I received a
pacquet, which I instantly knew to be from my ever-watchful Sylph. I
will give you the transcript.
TO Lady STANLEY.
"I should be unworthy the character I have assumed, if my pen was to lie
dormant while I am sensible of the unhappy predilection which your
ladyship has discovered for gaming. Play, under proper
restrictions,--which however in this licentious town can never take
place--may not be altogether prejudicial to the morals of those who
engage in it for trifling sums. Your Ladyship finds it not practicable
always to follow your own inclinations, even in that particular. The
triumphant joy which sparkled in your eyes when success crowned your
endeavours, plainly indicated you took no common satisfaction in the
game. You, being a party so deeply interested, could not discover the
same appearances of joy and triumph in the countenances of some of those
you played with; nor, had you made the observation, could you have
guessed the cause. It has been said, by those who will say any thing to
carry on an argument which cannot be supported by reason, that cards
prevent company falling upon topics of scandal; it is a scandal to human
nature, that it should want such a resource from so hateful and detested
a vice. But be it so. It can only be so while the sum played for is of
too trifling a concern to excite the anxiety which avaricious minds
experience; and every one is more or less avaricious who gives up his
time to cards.
If your ladyship could search into the causes of the unhappiness which
prevails in too many families in this metropolis, you would find the
source to be gaming either on the one side or the other. Whatever
appears licentious or vicious in men, in your sex becomes so in a
tenfold degree. The passionate exclamation--the half-uttered
imprecation, and the gloomy pallidness of the losing gamester, ill
accords with the female delicacy. But the evil rests not here. When a
woman has been drawn-in to lose larger sums than her allowance can
defray--even if she can submit to let her trades-people suffer from her
extravagant folly;--it most commonly happens, that they part with their
honour to discharge the account; at least, they are always suspected.
Would not the consideration of being obnoxious to such suspicion be
sufficient to deter any woman of virtue from running the hazard? You
made a firm resolution of not borrowing from the purses of any of the
gentlemen who wished to serve you; you for some time kept that
resolution; but, remember, it lasted no longer than when one particular
person made the offer. Was it your wish to oblige him? or did the desire
of gaming operate in that instant more powerful than in any other?
Whatever was your motive, the party immediately began to form hopes of
you; hopes, which, being founded in your weakness, you may be certain
were not to your advantage.
To make a more forcible impression on your mind, your Ladyship must
allow me to lay before you a piece of private history, in which a noble
family of this town was deeply involved. The circumstances are
indubitable facts--their names I shall conceal under fictitious ones. A
few years since, Lord and Lady D. were the happiest of pairs in each
other. Love had been the sole motive of their union; and love presided
over every hour of their lives. Their pleasures were mutual, and neither
knew an enjoyment, in which the other did not partake. By an unhappy
mischance, Lady D. had an attachment to cards--which yet, however, she
only looked on as the amusement of an idle hour. Her person was
beautiful, and as such made her an object of desire in the eyes of Lord
L. Her virtue and affection for her husband would have been sufficient
to have damped the hopes of a man less acquainted with the weakness of
human nature than Lord L. Had he paid her a more than ordinary
attention, he would have awakened her suspicions, and put her on her
guard; he therefore pursued another method. He availed himself of her
love of play--and would now and then, seemingly by accident, engage her
in a party at picquet, which was her favourite game. He contrived to
lose trifling sums, to increase her inclination for play. Too fatally he
succeeded. Her predilection gathered strength every day. After having
been very unsuccessful for some hours at picquet, Lord L. proposed a
change of the game; a proposal which Lady D. could not object to, as
having won so much of his money. He produced a pair of dice. Luck still
ran against him. A generous motive induced Lady D. to offer him his
revenge the next evening at her own house. In the morning preceding the
destined evening, her lord signified his dislike of gaming with dice;
and instanced some families to whom it had proved destructive. Elate,
however, with good fortune--and looking on herself engaged in honour to
give Lord L. a chance of recovering his losses, she listened not to the
hints of her husband, nor did they recur to her thoughts till too late
to be of any service to her.