’Tis he whose very thought and deed
By rule of virtue moves;
Whose generous tongue disdains to speak
The thing his heart disproves.
Who never did a slander forge,
His neighbour’s fame to wound;
Nor hearken to a false report,
By malice whispered round.
Who vice, in all its pomp and power,
Can treat with just neglect;
And piety, though clothed in rags,
Religiously respect.
Who to his plighted word and trust
Has ever firmly stood;
And, though he promise to his loss,
He makes his promise good.
Whose soul in usury disdains
His treasure to employ;
Whom no reward can ever bribe
The guiltless to destroy.
Be honest. Not only because “honesty is the best policy,” but because
it is a duty to God and man. The heart that can be gratified by
dishonest gains; the ambition that can be satisfied by dishonest means;
the mind that can be devoted to dishonest purposes, must be of the
worst order.
Having laid down these general principles for the government of
personal conduct, we will epitomize what we would still enforce;—
Avoid idleness—it is the parent of many evils. Can you pray, “Give us
this day our daily bread,” and not hear the reply, “Do thou this day
thy daily duty?”
Avoid telling idle tales, which is like firing arrows into the dark;
you know not into whose heart they may fall.
Avoid talking about yourself; praising your own works; and proclaiming
your own deeds. If they are good, they will proclaim themselves; if
bad, the less you say of them the better.
Avoid envy, for it cannot benefit you, nor can it injure those against
whom it is cherished.
Avoid disputation, for the mere sake of argument. The man who disputes
obstinately and in a bigoted spirit, is like the man who would stop the
fountain from which he should drink. Earnest discussion is commendable;
but factious argument never yet produced a good result.
Be kind in little things. The true generosity of the heart is more
displayed by deeds of minor kindness, than by acts which may partake of
ostentation.
Be polite. Politeness is the poetry of conduct—and like poetry it has
many qualities. Let not your politeness be too florid, but of that
gentle kind which indicates refined nature.
Be sociable—avoid reserve in society. Remember that the social
elements, like the air we breathe, are purified by motion. Thought
illumines thought, and smiles win smiles.
Be punctual. One minute too late has lost many a golden opportunity.
Besides which, the want of punctuality is an affront offered to the
person to whom your presence is due.
The foregoing remarks may be said to apply to the moral conduct, rather
than to the details of personal manners. Great principles, however,
suggest minor ones; and hence from the principles laid down many hints
on personal behavior may be gathered.
Be hearty in your salutations.
Discreet and sincere in your friendships.
Like to listen rather than to talk.
Behave, even in the presence of your relations, as though you felt
respect to be due to them.
In society never forget that you are but one of many.
When you visit a friend, conform to the rules of his home.
Lean not upon his tables, nor rub your feet against his chairs.
Pry not into letters that are not your own.
Pay unmistakable respect to ladies everywhere.
Beware of foppery and of silly flirtation.
In public places be not too pertinacious of your own rights.
Find pleasure in making concessions.
Speak distinctly.
Look at the person to whom you speak.
When you have spoken, give him an opportunity to reply.
Avoid drunkenness as you would a curse; and modify all appetites,
especially those that are acquired.
Dress well, but not superfluously.
Be neither like a sloven, nor like a stuffed model.
Keep away all uncleanly appearances from the person. Let the nails,
the teeth, and, in fact, the whole system receive _salutary_ rather
than _studied_ care. But let these things receive attention at the
toilet—not elsewhere.
Avoid displaying excess of jewelry. Nothing looks more effeminate upon
a man.
Every one of these suggestions may be regarded as the center of many
others, which the earnest mind cannot fail to discover.