Christopher Columbus Allen got along splendid with his railroad
business, and by the time the rest of us wuz ready for the World's Fair,
he wuz.
We didn't have so many preparations to make as we would in other
circumstances, for Ury and Philury wuz goin' to move right into our
house, and do for it jest as well as we would do for ourselves.
They had done this durin' other towers that we had gone off on, and
never had we found our confidence misplaced, or so much as a towel or a
dish-cloth missin'.
We have always done well by them while they wuz workin' for us by the
week or on shares, and they have always jest turned right round and done
well by us.
Thomas Jefferson and Maggie went with us. Tirzah Ann and Whitfield
wuzn't quite ready to go when we did, but they wuz a-comin' later, when
Tirzah Ann had got all her preperations made--her own dresses done, and
Whitfield's night-shirts embroidered, and her stockin's knit.
I love Tirzah Ann. But I can't help seein' that she duz lots of things
that hain't neccessary.
Now it wuzn't neccessary for her to have eleven new dresses made a
purpose to go to the World's Fair, and three white aprons all worked off
round the bibs and pockets.
Good land! what would she want of aprons there in that crowd? And she no
need to had six new complete suits of under-clothes made, all trimmed
off elaborate with tattin' and home-made edgin' before she went. And it
wuzn't neccessary for her to knit two pairs of open-work stockin's with
fine spool thread.
I sez to her, "Tirzah Ann, why don't you buy your stockin's? You can git
good ones for twenty cents. And," sez I, "these will take you weeks and
weeks to knit, besides bein' expensive in thread."
But she said "she couldn't find such nice ones to the store--she
couldn't find shell-work."
"Then," sez I, "I shall go without shell-work."
But she said, "They wuz dretful ornamental to the foot, specially to the
instep, and she shouldn't want to go without 'em."
"But," sez I, "who is a-goin' to see your instep? You hain't a-goin'
round in that crowd with slips on, be you?"
"No," she said, "she didn't spoze she should, but she should feel better
to know that she had on nice stockin's, if there didn't anybody see
'em."
And I thought to myself that I should ruther be upheld by my principles
than the consciousness of shell-work stockin's. But I didn't say so
right out. I see that she wouldn't give up the idee.
And besides the stockin's, which wuz goin' to devour a fearful amount of
time, she had got to embroider three night-shirts for Whitfield with
fine linen floss.
Then I argued with her agin. Sez I, "Good land! I don't believe that
Christopher Columbus ever had any embroidered night-shirts." Sez I, "If
he had waited to have them embroidered, and shell-work stockin's knit,
we might have not been discovered to this day. But," sez I, "good,
sensible creeter, he knew better than to do it when he had everything
else on his hands. And," sez I, "with all your housework to do--and hot
weather a-comin' on--I don't see how you are a-goin' to git 'em all done
and git to the Fair."
And she said, "She had ruther come late, prepared, than to go early with
everything at loose ends."
"But," sez I, "good plain sensible night-shirts and Lyle-thread
stockin's hain't loose--they hain't so loose as them you are knittin'."
But I see that I couldn't break it up, so I desisted in my efforts.
Maggie, though she is only my daughter-in-law, takes after me more in a
good many things than Tirzah Ann duz, who is my own step-daughter.
Curious, but so it is.
Now, she and I felt jest alike in this.
Who--who wuz a-goin' to notice what you had on to the World's Fair; and
providin' we wuz clean and hull, and respectable-lookin', who wuz
a-goin' to know or care whether our stockin's wuz open work or plain
knittin'?
There, with all the wonder and glory of the hull world spread out before
our eyes, and the hull world there a-lookin' at it, a-gazin' at strange
people, strange customs, strange treasures and curiosities from every
land under the sun--wonders of the earth and wonders of the sea, marvels
of genius and invention, and marvels of grandeur and glory, of Art and
Nature, and the hull world a-lookin' on, and a-marvellin' at 'em. And
then to suppose that anybody would be a-lookin' out for shell-work
stockin's, a-carin' whether they wuz clam-shell pattern, or oyster
shell.
The idee!
That is the way Maggie and I felt; why, if you'll believe it, that sweet
little creeter never took but one dress with her, besides a old wrapper
to put on mornin's. She took a good plain black silk dress, with two
waists to it--a thick one for cool days and a thin one for hot days--and
some under-clothes, and some old shoes that didn't hurt her feet, and
looked decent. And there she wuz all ready.
She never bought a thing, I don't believe, not one. You wouldn't ketch
her waitin' to embroider night-shirts for Thomas Jefferson--no, indeed!
She felt jest as I did. What would the Christopher Columbus World's Fair
care for the particular make of Thomas J's night-shirts? That had bigger
things on its old mind than to stop and admire a particular posey or
runnin' vine worked on a man's nightly bosom. Yes, indeed!
But Tirzah Ann felt jest that way, and I couldn't make her over at that
late day, even if I had time to tackle the job. She took it honest--it
come onto her from her Pa.
The preperations that man would have made if he had had his head would
have outdone Tirzah Ann's, and that is sayin' enough, and more'n enough.
And the size of the shoes that man would have sot out with if he had
been left alone would have been a shame and a disgrace to the name of
decency as long as the world stands.
Why, his feet would have been two smokin' sacrifices laid on the altar
of corns and bunions. Yes, indeed! But I broke it up.
I sez, "Do you lay out and calculate to hobble round in that pair of
leather vises and toe-screws," sez I, "when you have got to be on foot
from mornin' till night, day after day? Why under the sun don't you wear
your good old leather shoes, and feel comfortable?"
And he said (true father of Tirzah Ann), "He wuz afraid it would make
talk."
[Illustration: "Leather vises and toe-screws."]
Sez I, "The idee of the World's Fair, with all it has got on its mind, a
noticin' or carin' whether you had on shoes or went barefoot! But if you
are afraid of talk," sez I, "I guess that it would make full as much
talk to see you a-goin' round a-groanin' and a-cryin' out loud. And that
is what them shoes would bring you to," sez I.
"Now," sez I, "you jest do them shoes right up and carry 'em back to the
store, and if you have got to have a new pair, git some that will be
more becomin' to a human creeter, let alone a class-leader, and a
perfessor, and a grandfather."
So at last I prevailed--he a-forebodin' to the very last that it would
make talk to see him in such shoes. But he got a pair that wuzn't more'n
one size too small for him, and I presumed to think they would stretch
some. And, anyway, I laid out to put his good, roomy old gaiters in my
own trunk, so he could have a paneky to fall back on, and to soothe.
As for myself, I took my old slips, that had been my faithful companions
for over two years, and a pair of good big roomy bootees.
I never bought nothin' new for any of my feet, not even a shoe-string.
And the only new thing that I bought, anyway, wuz a new muslin night-cap
with a lace ruffle.
I bought that, and I spoze vanity and pride wuz to the bottom of it. I
feel my own shortcomin's, I feel 'em deep, and try to repent, every now
and then, I do.
But I did think in my own mind that in case of fire, and I knew that
Chicago wuz a great case for burnin' itself up--I thought in case of
fire in the night I wouldn't want to be ketched with a plain
sheep's-head night-cap on, which, though comfortable, and my choice for
stiddy wear, hain't beautiful.
And I thought if there wuz a fire, and I wuz to be depictered in the
newspapers as a-bein' rescued, I did feel a little pride in havin' a
becomin' night-cap on, and not bein' engraved with a sheep's head on.
Thinks'es I, the pictures in the newspapers are enough to bring on the
cold chills onto anybody, even if took bareheaded, and what--what would
be the horror of 'em took in a sheep's head!
There it wuz, there is my own weakness sot right down in black and
white. But, anyway, it only cost thirty-five cents, and there wuzn't
nothin' painful about it, like Josiah's shoes, nor protracted, like
Tirzah Ann's stockin's.
Wall, Ury and Philury moved in the day before, and Josiah and I left in
the very best of sperits and on the ten o'clock train, Maggie and Thomas
Jefferson and Krit a-meetin' us to the depot.
Maggie looked as pretty as a pink, if she didn't make no preperations.
She had on her plain waist, black silk, and a little black velvet
turban, and she had pinned a bunch of fresh rosies to her waist, and the
rosies wuzn't any pinker than her pretty cheeks and lips, and the dew
that had fell into them roses' hearts that night wuzn't any brighter
than her sweet gray eyes.
She makes a beautiful woman, Maggie Allen duz; and she ort to, to
correspond with her husband, for my boy, Thomas Jefferson, is a young
man of a thousand, and it is admitted that he is by all the
Jonesvillians--nearly every villian of 'em admits it.
Tirzah Ann and the babe wuz to the depot to see us off, and she said
that she should come on jest as soon as she got through with her
preperations.
But I felt dubersome about her comin' very soon, for she took out her
knittin' work (we had to wait quite a good while for the cars), and I
see that she hadn't got the first one only to the instep.
It is slow knittin'--shells are dretful slow anyway--and she wuz too
proud sperited to have 'em plain clam-shell pattern, which are bigger
and coarser; she had to have 'em oyster-shell pattern, in ridges.
Wall, as I say, I felt dubersome, but I spoke up cheerful on the
outside--
"If you git your stockin's done, Tirzah Ann, you must be sure and come."
And she said she would.
The way she said it wuz: "One, two, three, four, yes, mother; five, six,
seven, I will."
She had to count every shell from top to toe of 'em, which made it hard
and wearin' both for her and them she wuz conversin' with.
Why, they do say--it come to me straight, too--that Whitfield got that
wore out with them oyster-shell stockin's that he won't look at a oyster
sence--he used to be devoted to 'em, raw or cooked; but they say that
you can't git him to look at one sence the stockin' episode, specially
scolloped ones.
No, he sez "that he has had enough oysters for a lifetime."
Poor fellow! I pity him. I know what them actions of hern is; hain't I
suffered from the one she took 'em from?
But to resoom, and continue on.
Miss Gowdey come to the depot to see me off, and so did Miss Bobbet and
the Widder Pooler.
Miss Gowdey wuz a-comin' to the World's Fair as soon as she made her
rag-carpet for her summer kitchen; she said "she wouldn't go off and
leave her work ondone, and she hadn't got more'n half of the rags cut,
and she hadn't colored butnut yet, nor copperas; she would not leave her
house a-sufferin' and her rags oncut."
I thought she looked sort o' reprovin' at me, for she knew that I had a
carpet begun.
But I spoke up, and sez, "Truly rags will be always here with us, and
most likely butnut and copperas; but the World's Fair comes but once in
a lifetime, and I believe in embracin' it now, and makin' the most of
it." Sez I, "We can embrace rags at any time."
"Wall," she said, "she couldn't take no comfort with the memory of
things ondone a-weighin' down on her." She said "some folks wuz
different," and she looked clost at me as she said it. "Some folks could
go off on towers and be happy with the thought of rags oncut and warp
oncolored, or spooled, or anything. But she wuzn't one of 'em; she could
not, and would not, take comfort with things ondone on her mind."
And I sez, "If folks don't take any comfort with the memories of things
ondone on 'em, I guess that there wouldn't be much comfort took, for, do
the best we can in this world, we have to leave some things ondone. We
can't do everything."
"Wall," she said, "she should, never should, go off on towers till
everything wuz done."
And agin I sez, "It is hard to git everything done, and if folks waited
for them circumstances, I guess there wouldn't be many towers gone off
on."
But she didn't give in, nor I nuther. But jest then Miss Bobbet spoke
up, and said, "She laid out to go to the World's Fair--she wouldn't miss
it for anything; it wuz the oppurtunity of a lifetime for education and
pleasure; but she wuz a-goin' to finish that borrow-and-lend bedquilt of
hern before she started a step. And then the woodwork had got to be
painted all over the house, and _he_ was so busy with his spring's work
that she had got to do it herself."
And I sez, "Couldn't you let those things be till you come back?"
And she said, "She couldn't, for she mistrusted she would be all beat
out, and wouldn't feel like it when she got back; paintin' wuz hard
work, and so wuz piecin' up."
And I sez, "Then you had ruther go there all tired out, had you?" sez I.
"Seems to me I had ruther go to the World's Fair fresh and strong, and
ready to learn and enjoy, even if I let my borrow-and-lend bedquilt go
till another year. For," sez I, "bedquilts will be protracted fur beyend
the time of seein' the World's Fair--and I believe in livin' up to my
priveleges."
And she said, "That she wouldn't want to put it off, for it had been
a-layin' round for several years, and she felt that she wouldn't go
away so fur from home, and leave it onfinished."
And I see that it wouldn't do any good to argy with her. Her mind wuz
made up.
Miss Pooler said, "That she wuz a-goin' to the Fair, and a-goin' in good
season, too. She wouldn't miss it for anything in the livin' world. But
she had got to make a visit all round to his relations and hern before
she went. And," sez she, a-lookin' sort o' reproachful at me,
"I should have thought you would have felt like goin' round and payin'
'em all a visit, on both of your sides, before you went," sez she. "They
would have felt better; and I feel like doin' everything I can to please
the relations."
And I told Miss Pooler--"That I never expected to see the day that I
hadn't plenty of relations on my side and on hisen, but I never expected
to see another Christopher Columbus World's Fair, and I had ruther spend
my time now with Christopher than with them on either side, spozin' they
would keep."
But Miss Pooler said, "She had always felt like doin' all in her power
to show respect to the relations on both sides, and make 'em happy. And
she felt that, in case of anything happenin', she would feel better to
know she had made 'em all a last visit before it happened."
"What I am afraid will happen, Miss Pooler," sez I, "is that you won't
git to the World's Fair at all, for they are numerous on both sides, and
widespread," sez I. "It will take sights and sights of time for you to
go clear round."
But I see that she wuz determined to have her way, and I didn't labor no
more with her.
And I might as well tell it right here, as any time--she never got to
the World's Fair at all. For while she wuz a-payin' a last visit
previous to her departure, she wuz took down bed-sick for three weeks.
And the Fair bein' at that time on its last leglets, as you may say, it
had took her so long to go the rounds--the Fair broke up before she got
up agin.
Miss Pooler felt awful about it, so they say; it wuz such a dretful
disapintment to her that they had to watch her for some time, she wuz
that melancholy about it, and depressted, that they didn't know what she
would be led to do to herself.
And besides her own affliction about the Fair, and the trouble she gin
her own folks a-watchin' her for months afterwards, she got 'em mad at
her on both sides. Seven different wimmen she kep to home, jest as they
wuz a-startin' for the Fair, and belated 'em.
Eleven of the relations on her side and on hisen hain't spoke to her
sence. And the family where she wuz took sick on their hands talked hard
of suin' her for damage. For they wuz real smart folks, and had been
makin' their calculations for over three years to go to the Fair, and
had lotted on it day and night, and through her sickness they wuz kep to
home, and didn't go to it at all.
But to resoom.
Jest as I turned round from Miss Pooler, I see Miss Solomon Stebbins and
Arvilly Lanfear come in the depot.
Arvilly come to bid me good-bye, and Miss Stebbins wuz with her, and so
she come in too.
Arvilly said, "That she should be in Chicago to that World's Fair, if
her life wuz spared." She said, "That she wouldn't miss bein' in the
place where wimmen wuz made sunthin' of, and had sunthin' to say for
themselves, not for ontold wealth."
She said, "That she jest hankered after seein' one woman made out of
pure silver--and then that other woman sixty-five feet tall; she said it
would do her soul good to see men look up to her, and they have got to
look up to her if they see her at all, for she said that it stood to
reason that there wuzn't goin' to be men there sixty-five feet high.
"And then that temple there in Chicago, dreamed out and built by a
woman--the nicest office buildin' in the world! jest think of that--_in
the World_. And a woman to the bottom of it, and to the top too. Why,"
sez Arville, "I wouldn't miss the chance of seein' wimmen swing right
out, and act as if their souls wuz their own, not for the mines of
Golconda." Sez she, "More than a dozen wimmen have told me this week
they wanted to go; but they wuzn't able. But I sez to 'em, I'm able to
go, and I'm a-goin'--I am goin' afoot."
"Why, Arvilly," sez I, "you hain't a-goin' to Chicago a-walkin' afoot!"
[Illustration: "Why, Arvilly!"]
"Yes, I be a-goin' to Chicago a-walkin' afoot, and I am goin' to start
next Monday mornin'."
"Why'ee!" sez I, "you mustn't do it; you must let me lend you some
money."
"No, mom; much obliged jest the same, but I am a-goin' to canvass my way
there. I am goin' to sell the 'Wild, Wicked, and Warlike Deeds of Man.'
I calculate to make money enough to get me there and ride some of the
way, and take care of me while I am there; I may tackle some other book
or article to sell. But I am goin' to branch out on that, and I am goin'
to have a good time, too."
[Illustration: "No, mom; much obliged jest the same."]
Miss Stebbins said, "She wanted to go, and calculated to, but she wanted
to finish that croshay lap-robe before snow fell."
"Wall," sez I, "snow hain't a-goin' to fall very soon now, early in the
Spring so."
"Wall," she said, "that it wuz such tryin' work for the eyes, she
wouldn't leave it for nothin' till she got back, for she mistrusted that
she should feel kind o' mauger and wore out. And then," she said, "she
had got to make a dozen fine shirts for Solomon, so's to leave him
comfortable while she wuz gone, and the children three suits apiece all
round."
Sez I, "How long do you lay out to be gone?"
"About two weeks," she said.
And I told her, "That it didn't seem as if he would need so many shirts
for so short a time."
But she said, "She should feel more relieved to have 'em done."
So I wouldn't say no more to break it up. For it is fur from me to want
to diminish any female's relief.
And the cars tooted jest then, so I didn't have no more time to multiply
words with her anyway.