The night of the ball arrived at last. It was a long time in coming to
the impatience of Dolff and Julia: and even to Gussy, who was not
impatient, who would rather have held it off a little when the day at
last came, and to whom so many things were involved in the hours which
would be but amusement to the rest. Nobody suspected what was going on
under Gussy’s tranquil looks. She was one of those people whom many
think to be incapable of feeling at all. She had a force of resolution
not to expose herself, not to let anybody know what she endured, which
was equal to almost any trial. There are many women who possess this
power, but it is most frequently exercised to shield and cover the
delinquencies of others. Gussy’s reticence was only for herself; but
strength of any kind is respectable; and if any one had known the fever
that was in her breast, the chance upon which the fortune of her life
seemed to turn, and the absolute tranquillity with which, to all
appearance, she prepared for the evening’s pleasure, no doubt she would
have earned the admiration of some and the respect of others.
But our best qualities, as well as our worst, remain for the most part
blank to those who surround us, and nobody suspected either the trouble
in which Miss Harwood was, or the empire she exercised over her own
soul. Janet, perhaps, was the only member of the party who was in the
least degree cognizant of it, but even Janet was chiefly aware, with a
feeling of provoked sympathy, that Gussy, as she generally did, had
dressed herself unbecomingly on an occasion on which the little,
quick-witted governess divined she would have wished to look her best.
Gussy was not clever in the matter of dress. She arrayed herself in the
lightest of tints and materials--she who was herself so colorless, who
wanted something solid and distinct “to throw her up.”
Janet had done her duty in this respect by the other young woman, who
could scarcely now be called her friend, so conscious were both of a
mist that had come between them. It was one of Janet’s good qualities
that she had no jealous feeling, but that unfeigned pleasure in dress
which made her so anxious to see everybody else becomingly attired, that
she was impatient of failure. She had given many hints and suggestions
as to Miss Harwood’s dress on this particular occasion, but they had not
been attended to. And Gussy had enveloped herself in something that was
not quite white nor yet any other color, with the persistency common to
persons who are without any real instinct in the matter; and, instead of
looking her best, looked more colorless than usual.
Janet could scarcely restrain a cry of impatience when they all met in
the drawing-room, which had been cleared for dancing. If Gussy had but
worn her own black gown, what a difference it would have made! But Gussy
was altogether unconscious of that, as all the others were unconscious
of the way in which her heart was beating under her _fade_ and foolish
dress.
Janet, for her part, had received her programme from Dolff, with his own
neat little “A. H.” written on a great many lines; but she was too wise
to permit the son of the house to make himself and her remarkable. Janet
had a great terror of what the opportunities of the evening might lead
to, very different from that sentiment which moved Gussy. She managed to
escape, if not with some other partner, then alone, anywhere, even going
so far as to make a rush upstairs till some of the dances bespoken by
Dolff were over. She was determined not to lay herself open to any
comments in that respect, or to expose herself to the chances of what
Dolff might say in the excitement of the evening. But she had no such
terror of Meredith, who, after he had done his duty in various
directions was so polite as to ask the governess for a dance. Nor was
she alarmed by the eagerness with which he plunged into conversation,
leading her away, when half the dance was over, to a quiet corner.
“I am sure you are tired,” he said; “you have been dancing all the
evening, and so have I. Come and let us talk a little. I never have a
chance of half-a-dozen words with you, Miss Summerhayes.”
“That cannot matter much,” said Janet, “for I don’t suppose we have
anything very particular to say to each other, Mr. Meredith.”
“You must, of course, speak for yourself; but you cannot for me, and I
have a hundred things I want to say to you. We have never had a good
talk but once, and that was the day I walked with you from the
circulating library, when you were quite afraid to be seen with me.”
“Not in the least afraid to be seen with any one,” said Janet; “but it
did not seem suitable somehow. And as we are talking of that, Mr.
Meredith, I don’t think it’s very suitable----”
Here Janet thought better of what she was going to say, and stopped
short.
“What does not seem suitable? Tell me, I implore you! How can I regulate
my conduct according to your wishes, which is my highest ambition, if
you will not tell me what to do?”
“I have nothing to do with your conduct, Mr. Meredith, I don’t
understand why you should wish to sneer at me----”
“I--sneer! but you know you don’t mean that. I sometimes try to secure
your sympathy, I allow, when I’m at a particularly hard place. They say
that the lookers-on see most of the game, and I soon saw in your eyes,
if you’ll forgive me, that you----”
“I don’t see any game,” cried Janet, with indignation, “and if you are
playing one you ought to be ashamed of yourself; and, at all events, I
will not be in your confidence!”
“Hush!” he said, “don’t be so fiery. If you get up and leave me you will
make everybody ask why, and we don’t want to raise any talk, do we? Look
there, Miss Summerhayes--for I must talk of something--look at that man
Vicars. What a hang-dog face he has! Like a man that is up to some
mischief, don’t you think?”
“I don’t like Vicars,” said Janet, hastily; “he would like to be
insolent, if he dared.”
“Insolent, the beast! You have only to give Dolff a hint,” said
Meredith, with a laugh, “and he’ll soon put a stop to that. I should
like, all the same, to know a little what’s Vicars’s mission in this
house. Oh, I know he’s an old servant, and all that. I have my little
curiosities, Miss Summerhayes; haven’t you? There are some things I
should like to know.”
“I thought you must know everything,” said Janet; “you are such a very
old friend.”
Now Janet was bursting with desire to communicate to somebody her own
wonderings and the things she had seen, or had imagined herself to see.
She was held back by many things--by regard for the law which forbids
you to talk to strangers of things you have observed in the house in
which you live: and also by a principle of honor, which is but feeble in
such matters in most bosoms, and by a lingering sense of loyalty
towards Gussy, whose property this man was--and by a general prejudice
against making mischief. But, on the other hand, she was impelled to
speak by her own curiosity and conviction that there was something to
find out, and eagerness to communicate her discoveries. And then
Meredith was not a stranger; and if there was anything to find out he
had a right to know it; and, of course, as Gussy’s husband he would know
everything. Janet’s heart began to beat with excitement. Should she tell
him? She wanted so much to do it that she scarcely knew how to keep in
the words.
“I am an old friend,” said Meredith. “I have known them all my life;
therefore I have a kind of right, don’t you think, to want to know? And
I am one of the very few men who come familiarly about the house, so if
there was any way in which that fellow Vicars was taking them in, or
playing upon them, I am just the person who ought to be told, for I
could take steps to put them on their guard.”
It was on this argument, which seemed so unanswerable, and especially
applicable if Meredith became, as Janet assured herself was inevitable,
the son of the house, that at last she spoke. After all, it did not seem
as if she had very much to tell. She confided to him her suspicions that
Vicars had somebody shut up in the wing whom no one knew about, and that
she herself had seen--she was certain she had seen--a face pressed
against the window-panes, visible between the branches of the ivy; and
how, just below the same window, there had been the other day that
little shower of scraps of paper, which looked as if they had been
thrown out.
Meredith listened with the greatest eagerness. He leaned his elbow on
his knee, and his head in his hand, looking up into her face, and
shielding her thus from observation in her dark corner, so that even
Gussy, passing by at a little distance on the arm of her partner, could
not make out who the lady was to whom he was talking, though the sight
increased almost beyond bearing the agitation in her mind. Meredith’s
eyes on Janet’s face, so near, and the manner in which he surrounded
her, shutting off the world, confused her and gave her a vague sort of
guilt; but, after all, how could she have helped it? She could not have
refused to dance with him. She could not refuse to sit down to talk, to
sit out the Lancers which was then being played, and which Gussy was
going in dutifully with her partner to dance. Any other girl whom he had
asked would have done that, and how could Janet refuse? But there was no
doubt that she felt a pang as Gussy, in her pale dress which did not
become her, and with a look in her eyes dimly divined by this little
interloper, passed into the bright room beyond to perform her duty
dance.
Janet went on with her revelations after this episode. She had seen
Vicars crossing the hall with a heavy tray covered with dainties very
late one night, after everybody was in bed. She had seen the door in the
hall, which was said to lead to the wing which was believed to be
permanently shut up, open to him----
At these words Meredith started up. They were quite alone in their
corner--nobody was about. The dance was going on gayly--the ball-room
crowded, a little hedge of men standing round the door.
“Everything is quiet,” he said, hastily; “let us go and see.”
“Go and see--what?”
He drew her arm within his, with a smile upon her, which dazzled Janet
and made her cast down her eyes. She was so startled that she was
scarcely aware that he kept her hand in his as he led her along.
“We have five minutes,” he said, “and there is nobody here. Let’s go and
see.” It seemed half a schoolboy frolic, half a righteous mission. He
hurried her into the hall, which was deserted, enveloping her so in his
shadow that Janet felt as if she had no longer any will of her own.
“Which is it?” he asked, bending over her so that she felt his breath on
her neck.
They spoke in whispers, and crowded together on their clandestine
enterprise so that they seemed but one figure. She put out her hand,
trembling, and touched the door.
Janet’s heart had been beating loudly before. It jumped up now as if it
would choke her when she felt the door move slightly under her hand.
When Meredith added quickly the pressure of his fingers it swung open.
He drew her in, scarcely conscious of what he was doing. “Oh-h!” Janet
breathed a low cry of excitement upon his shoulder. Whatever the
discovery might be there was now no escape. He silenced her, pressing
her against him. They were in a dark, narrow passage, which ended in
thick curtains closely drawn, and was lighted by the feeblest spark of
light.
“We must follow it on now,” he said, in her ear. “Not a word--not a
word.”
Inside the curtains was a door which opened outward, and admitted to a
steep, straight staircase. Everything was dark, muffled, breathless.
They groped their way up this, and found before them another closed door
at the top, which yielded also to pressure, moving noiselessly. Within
this were curtains again, in which they both stumbled, unable at first
to open or put them aside. But the circumstances were desperate, and
somehow they made their way through. They found themselves then in a
room lighted only by the window, which was the very window, covered with
ivy, at which Janet had seen that old man’s face. But the room was void
and dark. They stood for a moment looking round, but, though they could
see next to nothing, it was certain there was nobody there.
By this time Meredith’s excitement had so grown that he forgot Janet. At
least he dropped her arm involuntarily, and leaving her trembling,
scarcely able to support herself, made a long step forward to where his
keen eye had found out a crevice, through which came a faint ray of
light. Once more he held back a curtain and pushed a door; then with a
sudden, quick movement, held out his hand to Janet. Her eyes by this
time had become accustomed to the gloom, and she perceived that he
called her. He caught her in his arm as she stole forward, and placed
her before him. Their breaths came quick in the same suppressed cadence.
Both were far too much excited for speech, even had they dared to speak.
This was what Janet saw. A room comfortably furnished, largely
curtained, dark, heavy stuff, so far as she could see in her
instantaneous glance, covering the walls, a fire burning cheerfully, a
small, shaded light by the side of a large sofa, on which lay a man fast
asleep--so fast asleep that the very air seemed slumbering over him. She
fell back upon her companion with what, had she dared to utter it, would
have been a cry. The pale old face, long and tragical, the crown of
white hair, the long white beard, half hid by the great red coverlet
which enveloped him, were the same which she had seen at the window. It
was, then, no fancy, no trick of reflection. Janet for a moment, in her
agitation, was unconscious of all the circumstances round her. She
gasped dumbly, paralyzed, yet thrilling with wonder, terror, and dismay.
Meredith’s face touched hers as he whispered “Come away.” He almost
carried her through the anteroom, the dark staircase, the
faintly-lighted passage, lingering at the door for a moment to see that
all was quiet. They came out into the hall, anxious but safe. The crowd
was still about the door of the dancing-room, but the music bore witness
that the dance was just at its conclusion. Meredith hurried Janet back
to the sheltered corner which they had left for this quest.
“One moment; I must speak to you for one moment more,” he whispered
behind a bush of evergreens, which concealed them entirely. “You don’t
know how important this is--Janet, have you got those papers----”
“The copy-book?”
“I don’t believe it was a copy-book. Try to give them to me quietly the
next time I am here, or send them--that would be the safest--United
Universities Club. Dearest, I can’t say half I want to say to you
to-night.”
“To me there is nothing to say,” said Janet, drawing away from him. “I
have forgotten myself in the excitement--but don’t think, Mr.
Meredith----”
“Yes, I will think,” he said. “Don’t warn me off, for you can’t do it. I
have thought of you since the first moment I saw you. Is it my fault if
they take things into their heads, Janet?”
“I will not have you call me Janet,” she said, with angry vehemence.
“But I must. I never call you anything else--to myself--darling! We’ll
meet again before long, and be able to say everything to each other.”
He let her go suddenly, and in a moment had joined the crowd of the
lookers-on, who had been awaiting the end of the Lancers, and now were
scattering to permit the exit of the more dutiful couples who had been
performing that now somewhat despised dance.
Janet seized the opportunity to fly upstairs to the shelter of her own
room, which she reached breathless and agitated. She could scarcely
realize what had passed in this strange evening so full of excitement.
Meredith’s presumption--was it presumption? his unpardonable freedom of
speech--but was it unpardonable? the confidences into which he had
hurried her; the extraordinary discovery they had made together; the way
in which he had assumed her consent and acquiescence, taking possession
of her as if she belonged to him. Janet tried to be angry; she said to
herself that it was detestable, unpardonable; that never more would she
speak to him again; that, if _that_ were true, then his behavior to
Gussy was villainous; and if it were false? Her breath came hard; her
veins swelled as if they would burst. How dared he speak to her--look at
her--hold her so? Janet saw herself in her glass, with eyes blazing,
lips quivering, nostrils dilating, and wondered at herself. She could
see that she had never looked like that before--never so brilliant, so
much excited, or taken out of herself. Oh! how did he dare--he who was
as good as engaged to Gussy Harwood? It was _that_ she thought of--not
of the mysterious secret tenant of the wing. That strange habitation
with its tenant had died out of her mind. She found herself thinking
only of Charley--of whom? Good heavens! what had she to do with his
name--of Mr. Meredith and his impertinence and presumption. He had told
her to tell Dolff (with a laugh) of Vicars’ impertinence; but what was
that of Vicars to his? He had taken possession of her against her will.
He had made her a traitor to the people whose bread she was eating. He
had made her the instrument of humiliation to Gussy. Oh! would he go now
and whisper to Gussy, and laugh with her at Dolff and the governess?
Janet clinched her hands and bit her lip till it almost bled. Was this
what he would do? Tell Gussy perhaps that the governess was a silly
little thing, and believed everything that was said to her--or was it
Gussy that he would slight and scorn, after so long holding her in
suspense? Janet felt that she abhorred Charley. Oh! to think that his
name should come to her lips without any intention, when she had nothing
to do with it! and he had called her by hers--the insolent, the
scoundrel, the deceiver! Janet wrought herself up into a passion, and
raved at him within herself like a little fury: and then she suddenly
changed her mood, and fell a-crying, soaking up the tears that would
come with her handkerchief lest they should make her eyes red, and
saying to herself “Poor Charley!” from the bottom of her heart.