DOROGOBOUI--VERMIN--A CANTINIÈRE--HUNGER.
On the 3rd we stayed at Slawkowo, and saw Russians to the right of us
all the day. The other regiments of the Guard, who had remained behind,
now joined us. We made a forced march on the 4th to reach Dorogoboui,
the 'cabbage town.' We gave it this name on account of the vast number
of cabbages we found there on going to Moscow. This was also the place
where the Emperor settled the number of artillery and rifle-shots to
be fired in the great battle. By seven in the evening we were still
two leagues from the town, but the depth of the snow made marching
exceedingly difficult. It was with infinite labour we got so far, and
for a short time we lost our way.
It was quite eleven o'clock before we made our bivouac. Amongst the
débris from the houses (for this town had been almost burned down, like
so many others), we found wood enough to make fires and get thoroughly
warm. But we had nothing to eat, and we were so horribly tired that we
had not the strength to go and look for a horse, so we lay down to rest
instead. One of the men in the company brought me some rush matting to
make a bed, and with my head on my knapsack, my feet to the fire, I
went to sleep.
I had slept for about an hour, when I felt an unbearable tingling over
the whole of my body. Mechanically I passed my hand over my chest and
other parts of my body, and to my horror discovered that I was covered
with vermin! I jumped up, and in less than two minutes was as naked as
a new-born babe, having thrown my shirt and trousers into the fire. The
crackling they made was like a brisk firing, and my mind was so full of
what I was doing that I never noticed the large flakes of snow falling
all over me. I shook the rest of my clothes over the fire, and put on
my only remaining shirt and pair of trousers; and, feeling miserable
almost to the point of tears, I sat on my knapsack, covered with my
bearskin, and, my head in my hands, spent the rest of the night as far
as possible from the cursed rush matting on which I had slept. The men
who took my place caught nothing, so I suppose I monopolized them all.
Early the next morning we set out (November 5th). Before leaving, a
distribution of hand-mills was made in every regiment of the Guard, in
case of finding any corn to grind; but as we found none, and the mills
were very heavy, we got rid of them before twenty-four hours were over.
This was a sad day--so many of our sick and wounded died. Up till now
they had made superhuman efforts in the hope of reaching Smolensk and
finding food and shelter.
In the evening we stopped near a wood, and the order was given to
make shelters for the night. Just afterwards our _cantinière_, Madame
Dubois, the regimental barber's wife, was taken ill, and in the midst
of the falling snow, with twenty degrees of frost, _i.e._, about ten
below zero, she was delivered of a fine boy--a miserable position for
the poor woman. Colonel Bodel, who commanded our regiment, did all he
possibly could to make her comfortable, lending his cloak to cover
the shelter where she lay. Madame Dubois bore her pain and discomfort
bravely; the surgeon did his best, and all ended happily. That same
night our men killed a white bear, which was eaten at once. After
spending a miserable night, on account of the fearful cold, we set out
again. The Colonel lent Madame Dubois his horse. She held her new-born
infant wrapped in a sheepskin in her arms, and she herself wore the
cloaks of two men who had died during the night.
There was a dense fog that day, November 6th, and more than twenty-two
degrees of frost. Our lips were frozen, our brains too; the whole
atmosphere was icy. There was a fearful wind, and the snow fell in
enormous flakes. We lost sight not only of the sky, but of the men in
front of us. As we approached a wretched village,[25] a horseman came
at full speed, asking for the Emperor. We heard afterwards that it was
a General bringing news of Malet's conspiracy in Paris.
We were just then packed very closely together near a wood, and had a
long time to wait before we could resume our march, as the road was
narrow. As several of us sat together beating with our feet to keep
warm, and talking of the fearful hunger we felt, all at once I became
aware of the smell of warm bread. I turned round and behind me saw
a man wrapped in a great fur cape, from which came the smell I had
noticed. I spoke to him at once, saying, 'Sir, you have some bread;
you must sell it to me.' As he moved away, I caught him by the arm,
and, seeing that he could not get rid of me, he drew out from under
his cloak a cake still warm. With one hand I seized the cake, while
with the other I gave him five francs. But hardly had I the cake in my
hand, when my companions threw themselves on it like madmen, and tore
it from me. I only had the little bit I held between my thumb and two
first fingers.
While this was going on, the Surgeon-Major (for it was he) went off,
and well for him he did so, as he might have been killed for the sake
of the rest of the cake. He had probably found some flour in the
village, and had had time to make the cake while waiting for us.
During this half-hour several men had lain down and died; many more had
fallen in the column while marching. Our ranks were getting thinned
already, and this was only the very beginning of our troubles. Whenever
we stopped to eat hastily, the horses left behind were bled. The blood
was caught in a saucepan, cooked, and eaten. But often we were forced
to eat it before there was time to cook it. Either the order for
departure was given, or the Russians were upon us. In the latter case
we did not take much notice. I have sometimes seen men eating calmly,
while others fired at the Russians to keep them off. But when the order
was imperative and we were obliged to go, the saucepan was carried with
us, and each man, as he marched, dipped his hands in and took what he
wanted; his face in consequence became smeared with blood.
Very often we were obliged to leave the horses, for want of time to
cut them up, and men would drop behind and hide themselves for fear
of being forced to follow their regiments. Then they would throw
themselves on the meat like vultures. These men seldom reappeared; they
were either taken by the enemy or they died of cold.
This day's march was not so long as the preceding one; it was still
daylight when we stopped. A village had been burnt down, and only a few
rafters here and there remained. The officers encamped against these
for the night, getting a little shelter this way. Besides the fearful
pains we felt all over through our great fatigue, we were by this time
quite famishing. Those of us who still had a little rice or oatmeal,
hid themselves to eat it in secret. We had no friends left; we looked
suspiciously at each other, and even turned against our best comrade.
I will not keep back a base act of ingratitude I committed against my
truest friends. Like everyone else that day I was devoured by hunger;
but besides that, I was also devoured by vermin I had got the previous
day. We had not even a bit of horseflesh to eat, and we were waiting
for some men of our company to come up who had stayed behind to cut up
the fallen horses. I was standing near one of my friends, Poumot, a
sergeant, close to a fire we had made, in quite indescribable torment,
and looking round continually to see if no one was coming. Suddenly I
seized his hand convulsively, and said:
'Look here: if I met anyone in the wood with a loaf of bread, I should
force him to give me half!' And then, correcting myself, 'No,' I said,
'I would kill him to have it all!'
Almost before I had finished I strode off towards the wood, just as if
I expected to meet the man and the loaf. When I got there, I roamed
about for a quarter of an hour, and then, turning in the opposite
direction from our bivouac, close by the borders of the wood, I saw a
man seated near a fire. On the fire was a pot in which something was
evidently cooking, as the man took a knife and, plunging it into the
pot, drew out a potato, which he pinched, and then put back again, as
if it were not boiled enough.
I ran towards him as hard as I could, but fearing that he might escape
me, I made a little circuit, so as to come up behind him without his
seeing me. The brushwood crackled, however, as I came through, and he
turned round; but before he had time to speak, I said:
'Look here, comrade: you must either sell or give me your potatoes, or
I shall carry away the pot by force!'
He seemed quite taken by surprise, and as I put out my sword to fish
with it in the pot, he said it did not belong to him, but to his
master, a Polish General, who was camping close by, and that he had
been ordered to hide himself here to cook the potatoes ready for the
next day.
Without answering him, I offered him money, and began to take the
potatoes. He told me they were not boiled enough yet, and as I seemed
not to believe him, he took one out for me to feel. I tore it from him,
and devoured it just as it was.
'They are not fit to eat--you can see that for yourself,' he said;
'hide yourself for a little while, try to be patient, and don't let
anyone see you till the potatoes are boiled, and then I will give you
some.'
I did as he bade me, hiding behind a bush, but not losing sight of him.
After about five or six minutes, thinking no doubt that I was some
distance off, he looked stealthily to right and left, and taking the
pot, he ran off with it. Not far, however, as I soon stopped him, and
threatened to take the whole if he did not give me half. He said again
that the potatoes belonged to his General.
'I must have them if they are the Emperor's,' I cried. 'I am dying of
hunger.'
Seeing he could not get rid of me, he gave me seven. I paid him fifteen
francs, and left him. He then called me back, and gave me two more.
They were hardly cooked at all, but that did not matter much to me. I
ate one, and put the rest in my bag. I reckoned that, with a little
horseflesh, they would last me for three days, allowing two each day.
As I walked on, thinking of my potatoes, I lost my way. I was made
aware of this by hearing cries and curses from five men, who were
fighting like dogs; the leg of a horse on the ground was the cause of
the disturbance. One of them, on seeing me, told me that he and his
companion, both artillery soldiers, had killed a horse behind the wood,
and that, on returning with their portion, they had been attacked by
three men of another regiment. If I would help them they would give me
a share. I feared the same sort of fate for my potatoes, so I replied
that I could not wait, but that if they could hold on for a little I
would send some people to help them. A little further on I met two men
in our regiment to whom I told the story. The next day I heard that
when they got to the place they only saw a man lying dead, covered with
blood, killed by a great pine cudgel at his side. Probably the three
aggressors had taken advantage of the absence of one of their enemies
to fall on the other.
When at length I got back to my regiment, several of the men asked me
if I had found anything. I answered 'No,' and, taking my place near the
fire, I hollowed out a bed in the snow, stretched my bearskin coat to
lie on, a cape lined with ermine for my head. Before going to sleep, I
had my potato to eat. Hiding it by my cape, I was as quiet as possible,
terrified lest anyone should observe that I was eating. I had a little
snow for drink, and then went to sleep, holding my bag containing the
rest of my provisions fast in my arms. Several times in the night, as
I woke, I put in my hand, carefully counting my potatoes; so I passed
the night without sharing with my starving companions the bit of luck
I had had. I shall never forgive myself for this selfishness. I was
awake and sitting on my knapsack before the reveille sounded in the
morning. I saw that a terrible day was in store for us, on account
of the high wind. I made a hole in my bearskin coat, and put my head
through it. The bear's head fell over my chest, and the rest over my
back, but it was so long that it dragged on the ground. Before dawn
we set out. We left behind us an enormous number of dead and dying.
Further on it was worse still, as we had to stride over the dead bodies
left on the road by the regiments going before us. It was worst of all
for the rear-guard, as these were witnesses of all the horrors left by
the whole army. The last corps were those commanded by Marshal Ney and
Davoust, and the army of Italy under Prince Eugène. Daylight appeared
when we had been marching for about an hour, and, as we had come up
with the corps in front of us, we halted. Our _cantinière_, Mother
Dubois, took advantage of the halt to feed her baby, when suddenly we
heard a cry of anguish. The infant was dead, and as stiff as a piece
of wood. Those nearest to her tried to comfort her by saying that it
was the best thing both for the baby and herself, and, in spite of her
cries and tears, they took the infant from her breast. They gave it
to a sapper, who, with the child's father, went a short distance from
the road. The sapper dug a hole in the snow, the father on his knees
holding the child in his arms. When the grave was made, he kissed the
baby, and placed it in its tomb. It was covered with snow, and all was
at an end.
We stopped an hour later for a long halt at the edge of a wood. Here a
large party of artillery and cavalry had encamped, for we found a great
many dead horses, some of them cut in pieces. There were many more
still living, though numbed, standing still to be killed; those that
had died during the night were frozen so hard that it was impossible
to cut the flesh. During this disastrous march I noticed that we were
always placed as much as possible behind the cavalry and artillery; so
that when we halted where they had passed the night, the horses they
had left behind were ready for us.
While we were all resting, and each busy in arranging some fearful
meal for himself, I retired furtively into the thickest part of the
wood to eat the potatoes I had hidden so carefully. But a fearful
disappointment was in store for me. When I tried to bite, I felt
nothing but ice; my teeth slipped, and I could not get hold of a bit.
I was sorry then that I had not shared the potatoes with the others,
and I went back to them, holding in my hand the frozen one, covered
with blood from my lips. They asked me what I had got, and I silently
showed them the potato I held, and the others in my bag. They were
snatched instantly from me; but the result, when they tried to bite,
was no better than mine. They tried to thaw them at the fire, but they
melted away like ice. While this was going on, other men came up to ask
me where I had found the potatoes, and when I pointed to the wood they
ran there, returning to say they had found nothing. They were very good
to me, as they invited me to share a potful of horse's blood which they
had cooked. I did not need two invitations. I have always felt very
sorry for behaving as I did. The men believed that I found the potatoes
in the wood, and I did not undeceive them. But all this is only a
hundredth part of what came afterwards.
After an hour's rest we set out again, crossing a wood, where every
now and then we came on open spaces, with houses in them occupied by
Jews. Some of them are large, and built very much like our barns, only
of wood. At each end is a large door. These houses take the place of
posting houses. A carriage is taken in at one end, and, after changing
horses, goes out at the other. The houses are built about three leagues
apart; but most of them had disappeared, having been burnt at the
army's first passage.
FOOTNOTES:
[Footnote 25: The name of the village was Mickalowka.--_Author's Note._]