The tea which (with the Head’s compliments) Mrs. Lowe provided after
chapel was an apotheosis of tea. The Head’s dinner was going on
simultaneously, and the most delicious remainders were brought in from
it for the boys, ending with an ice pudding that at its entrance was
practically untouched, though soon there was nothing left to touch. It
had really been worth while to voyage at such peril over unknown seas
and lands, if this was to be the eventful haven, and when, at the end,
Ferrers proposed the health of Iconium, his toast was drunk with
acclamation. Thereafter was a little quiet ragging, but David had not
joined in this, for when he was seized by somebody he had said in
plethoric tones, “For God’s sake, don’t bend me, or I shall be sick,”
and for fear of that untoward result he had been left alone. Bags also
was not disposed to active exercise, and David had taken the opportunity
to be agreeable, according to his resolution in chapel.
“I say, I hope I didn’t hurt you, Bags,” he said.
“You see I had to kick you just once to make it all square. Is it
_pax_?”
Bags looked sideways at David, with his shallow, goat-like eyes before
he answered.
“Oh, rather,” he said. “It wasn’t anything. You hardly touched me.”
This was surprising, for David had the distinct impression in his toe
and instep that this particular kick had been a juicy one.
“Right oh, then,” he said. “I say, there’s one piece of cake left. Shall
we halve it?”
“Couldn’t,” said Bags, getting up.
Though he could not be bent, David thought that a cautious attack might
defeat the one piece of cake, and strategically accomplished this. But
it was funny that Bags should not have tried, too, and for a moment he
had suspicions.
“It is _pax_, then?” he asked.
“Oh, rather,” said Bags. “And your lip’s all right, isn’t it, Blazes?
Quite clean, I mean. I think the Head only gassed about that on the spur
of the moment. Will you swear I washed it, if necessary?”
“Oh, yes,” said David. “Gosh, I’m full. And I’m going to preach in
dormitory, night-shirt and trousers for a stole. I can remember lots of
the sermon.”
“Oh, may I come?” asked Bags.
“Right, but don’t be sarcastic and spoil the show. It’ll be in my
cubicle.”
“Rather not,” said Bags, moving away. “May I be Goggles or Carrots?”
“Sorry; Stone and Ferrers have bagged them. But you might blow the
organ, and let it go out with a squeak, same as it did this evening.”
“Oh, thanks; that’ll be ripping,” said Bags, beginning to practise
squeaking in a realistic and organ-like manner.
* * * * *
Now Bags’s mater was, as all the world knew, a Jewess. Bags had
volunteered that information himself on his first day at school, adding
loftily that she was of the tribe of Judah. This, if it was meant to be
impressive, had singularly failed in its object, and the only
consequence was that, for his first term or so, Bags had been the butt
of various embarrassing questions as to whether he was allowed to eat
sausages, or observed other Levitical injunctions. David, as a matter of
fact, had not joined in these painful catechisms, holding that it wasn’t
fair to consider a fellow responsible for his mater, but he had always
secretly felt that this might account for there being something rather
odd about Bags. For Bags had a retentive and vindictive memory, and was
ever on the look-out to repay antique scores, though other people would
have forgotten all about them. It was therefore not likely that he would
have overlooked a scene so recent as this kick, and after Bags had gone,
David said to himself that he was being “too infernally genial”—a jolly
sounding word, which he had just learned—to deceive the wary. In fact,
though Bags had definitely agreed that it should be _pax_, David was
subconsciously a little suspicious of him, and this attitude was
confirmed by Bags having said that that one beautiful kick had hardly
touched him. It absolutely must have: there was no mistaking the quality
of the touch. But he did not dwell on it much; should Bags prove to be
bellicose still, in spite of the treaty, he felt the utmost confidence
that he could deal with him.
* * * * *
David woke next morning very early, with a sense of immense interest in
things in general. It was still only the hour of faint and early dawn,
and he lay quiet a little while, drawing his knees up to his chin, and
clasping his legs with his bare arms in order to multiply the
consciousness of limbs and body and life generally. Just behind him was
the open window, through which the fresh breeze of morning came, coolly
ruffling his hair, and on each side the varnished pitch-pine of the
walls of his cubicle, gay with wonderful decoration. His face was turned
to the partition close to his bed, and thus, the earliest object that
his eye fell on was the school eleven cricket-cap which he had won last
week, hung on a nail. On another nail beside it was his watch and chain,
his father’s birthday present to him on attaining the immense age of
thirteen, and on the same nail, though not conjoined with this
jewellery, the mystic badge of the Smoking Club. A little farther on was
another gift of his father’s, a small chromolithographic reproduction of
the Sistine Madonna, by a “fellow” called Raphael, whose name somehow
appealed to David, though the picture itself was “rather pi,” and close
beside that a photograph of Carrots, exchanged for one of his in those
happier days before she sneaked. Now, Carrots’s intelligent features
were turned face to the wall, and David wondered whether she ought not
to be deposed altogether. Anyhow, it had been Carrots who had asked him
for his photograph, promising hers; the exchange had come from her side.
Then there was a photograph of Ferrers Major, unframed, but tacked to
the wall, and one of Hughes, David’s great friend, who had left a year
before, and gone to Marchester, where David hoped to follow him at the
Michaelmas term. . . . Hughes was altogether godlike, and David adored
him. Then came a small fretwork bracket, homemade in the holidays, with
a sort of petticoat of crimson silk hanging round the edge of its shelf,
on which was placed a small china lamb lying down among amazing flowers,
which David assured his friends was “jolly valuable.”
He cuddled his knees for a little while, contemplating these precious
things, and forbearing to turn round and look the other way, because
even more agreeable objects (with the exception perhaps of the
photograph of Hughes) would meet his eyes there, and the zest for them
was to be sharpened by abstention. To begin with, there was the chair
which last night had made so perfect a pulpit, and even the sight of his
trousers now lying on it, which last night had made so lovely a stole,
would make him giggle again at the thought of his highly successful
sermon. There also was the photograph of the two elevens in last week’s
match, and, more precious still, a snapshot of himself standing at the
wicket, which Ferrers’s sister had taken, had developed, and had sent to
him the very next day. “Jolly cute of her,” thought David.
He longed to turn round and assure himself by ocular evidence of the
permanence of these things, but teasing himself, went on with his
enumeration of them. There was his cricket-bat and one right-hand
batting glove which he had bought second-hand. Most people did not rise
to gloves at all; indeed, Stone’s glove was the only other one in the
school, and for the moment the idea of staggering humanity by purchasing
a left-hand glove also with Aunt Eleanor’s five shillings flashed across
him. Probably nobody at Helmsworth had ever had two batting-gloves
before; fancy being snapshotted with two gloves! Then there was a
pill-box filled with the yellow dust from the cedar-cones in the
grounds, which he had collected and labelled “Cedar-sulphur”; and,
lastly, there was his washing-basin in which, ever ineffectually trying
to climb up its slippery steep sides, were the Monarch of the Glen and
his spouse. David could resist that no longer, rolled round in bed, and
got up.
“Good morning, Monarch,” he said politely. “How——” And then he
stopped. There were two or three elm-leaves in the basin and a
half-eaten strawberry, but otherwise it was empty. There was no Monarch,
there was no wife.
For the moment David could not believe it: he felt that they must be
there, and that for some curious sleepy reason (although he was not
sleepy) he could not see them. Again and again he turned over the
leaves, and looked underneath the strawberry (as if the Monarch had been
made little by his meal, like Alice in Wonderland), but there was no
sign of them. Then he searched about his cubicle, scrutinising the
varnished walls, examining the floor, searching in his blankets in case
they had strayed there. And all the time he felt the futility of this,
for he was convinced in his own mind that neither the Monarch nor his
lady could have climbed the glazed ascent of the sides of the washing
basin. Often had he watched them attempting to do so; even the gradual
slope at the base was beyond the adhesive power of their feet, and as
for the precipice of the sides themselves, they were hopelessly
incapable of surmounting it. They _could_ not get out themselves: some
one must have——
Then a sudden suspicion struck him, and he went softly and barefooted to
the far end of the dormitory where Bags slept, and shook him awake. This
had to be accomplished with silent caution, since no boy was allowed to
leave his cubicle till the dressing-bell sounded.
“I say, Bags, have you taken my stags?” he whispered. “If you tell me
you have, and give them up, I swear I won’t do anything to you.”
Bags sat up in bed and yawned heavily, to give himself time to think.
“Do you really think I would touch those filthy crawlers?” he asked.
“Doesn’t matter what I think,” said David. “I want to know if you did.”
Bags was considerably astounded by David’s having so instantly suspected
him, considering that he had agreed to _pax_ yesterday evening.
“Well then, I didn’t,” he said. “So that’s flat. Where did you put them
last night?”
“In my basin,” said David.
Suddenly Bags saw the stout figure of the matron in the ante-room just
outside the dormitory, while David, facing towards him, could not see
her. If he could detain David in talk here for a minute, it was more
than likely that she would hear voices, and find him out of his cubicle,
in which case she would certainly report him to the Head. He had not
forgotten about the incident as they went into chapel last night, and
the temptation was too strong.
He laughed silently into his bed-clothes.
“What are you laughing at?” said David, raising his voice. “What’s the
blooming joke?”
Bags did not answer, and David repeated his question. At that Bags saw
that the matron had heard the talking, and was advancing in her felt
slippers up the dormitory. She was already past David’s cubicle, and
retreat was cut off. He sank back gently into bed. “Cave,” he whispered,
“there’s Glanders coming! and stag-beetles can fly. Fancy not knowing
that!”
And he closed his eyes and sank apparently into a refreshing sleep.
David turned round. Glanders was coming straight up the dormitory, and
had already seen him. Since there was no hope of concealment, he went
out to meet his fate.
“Out of your cubicle before dressing-bell,” said Glanders bleakly. “I
shall report you, Master Blaize. Not the first time, either.”
David got back into bed again in a very different mood from that in
which he had awoke half an hour ago. The week was beginning just about
as badly as it could, and the sight of his cricket-cap and batting-glove
failed to console him in the least, or bring back the sense of his happy
awaking. He had two maps of the second missionary journey to make, he
had to stop in between twelve and one, when he should have been
practising at the nets, to learn his Catechism, the Monarch and his wife
had vanished, and he was to be reported for being out of his cubicle
before the dressing-bell sounded. That was a serious breach of
school-discipline, and Glanders might have gone further when she so
feelingly reminded him that this would not be “the first time either,”
for it would not be the second either. On the last occasion the Head had
told him precisely what would happen if it occurred again. The colours
of the new cricket-cap had faded, the glove looked ridiculous, and the
washing-basin was like the house of some one lately dead. He felt
furious and exasperated against fate, and it was bitter to be reminded
by Bags that stag-beetles could fly. In a general way he supposed he had
known it too, but it had not occurred to him that the Monarch and his
wife would dream of such a thing. Then there was a good fine caning to
look forward to: it hurt hideously at the time, and you couldn’t hold a
bat all day afterwards, because your hands were so sore. There was an
awful legend, too, in the school that the Head had once broken a
fellow’s finger, and who knew that he would not repeat that savage feat
to-day? First one hand, then the other, and the same bruised and
smarting hands again, just in the same place, and blood-blisters rising
there. . . .
* * * * *
The dressing-bell sounded, and it was necessary to get up. It was just
the sort of morning, too, that made a fellow wild with mysterious
delight, if things were going well, but when things were black, it
seemed an added insult that the sunlight and the sky were in such
excellent spirits. There was the cricket-professional in the field
outside, whistling as he put up the nets for practice, but there would
be no practice for David to-day. Instead, from twelve to one he would be
making maps and staring at the Catechism, and his hands would be tender
and bruised and lumpy, and there were no stags to cater for. . . .
He went down to his bath feeling utterly wretched and dispirited, with
that completeness of emotion that only children know, who are unable to
look beyond the present and immediate future, the happiness or misery of
which possesses them entirely. Other boys were splashing about and
throwing sponges at each other, and he was hailed with the derisive
taunts indicating general good spirits and friendliness.
“Hullo, here’s Blazes. ‘What, reported again, Blaize!’ ‘Don’t bully me,
sir! The other hand, sir.’ Whack, whack!”
“I say, Blazes, how’s the Monarch? Flown away, Bags says. Dirty vermin
anyhow, so what’s the odds? Come and practise at No. 1 net at half-past
twelve with me and Ferrers.”
David chucked his sponge into his bath and kicked off his slippers.
“Can’t. Catechism to learn, thanks to Stone.”
“Oh, yes, so you have. I expect you wouldn’t be able to hold a bat
either. Never mind, buck up. All the same in a hundred years. Besides,
Hughes was caned two mornings running last year, and he didn’t blub even
at the second helping.”
The goat-like Bags entered at this moment.
“I say, rough luck,” he said to David. “I warned you as soon as I saw
Glanders. Found the Monarch yet?”
This was rather too much. David felt suddenly sure that Bags was at the
bottom of all his misfortunes, and, already goaded by high-spirited
sympathy, turned on him.
“No, I haven’t,” he shouted; “and I’m jolly well going to search your
cubicle. I believe you stole him. Look here, you chaps, I believe Bags
took the Monarch, and I believe he saw Glanders coming when I was
talking to him, and didn’t warn me.”
Stone took his brown head out of the towel in which he had been rubbing
it.
“Why? What evidence?” he asked.
“Unless you’re too blooming omniscient to want evidence,” said Bags.
“Because you’re a sneak. Because I jolly well hurt you last night, and
you said I hadn’t to put me off the scent,” said David with a sudden
inspiration. “Why, you’ve got a bruise as big as a football,” he cried,
pointing to the injured part of Bags’s anatomy, “and yet you said it
didn’t hurt. It must have hurt: it’s all rot to say it didn’t. And you
said it was _pax_ in order to put me off the look-out.”
“Bosh: that’s not evidence,” said Ferrers, whose father was a K.C., and
was much looked up to on points of school-law. “That’s only your
blooming guess.”
“Well, it would be evidence if I found the Monarch in his beastly
cubicle,” said David. “Or perhaps you’d say that stags can fly, and that
the Monarch had only flown there.”
This was sarcasm of the deepest dye, and produced its due effect on all
the boys who, in various stages of undress, surrounded the two, except
Stone, who never could understand what sarcasm meant.
“Oh rot, Blazes,” said he. “At that rate the Monarch may have flown to
my cubicle, but I’m not going to have you search it and turn everything
upside down for the sake of a sickly stag-beetle.”
The man of law considered the points.
“I don’t see why you shouldn’t make a challenge out of it, Blazes,” he
said, disregarding the obtuse Stone. “If you’re so certain of it, you
can challenge Bags to allow you to search his cubicle, an’ if you don’t
find the Monarch there, he gives you three cuts of the hardest with a
racquet-handle and _pax_ immediately afterwards.”
David was standing in his bath, and, slipping, plumped down into it
heaving out solid water.
“Sorry, you fellows,” he said to those who were wettest. “Right then, I
challenge.”
Bags had moved away, in the general stampede caused by David’s plunge,
and on the instant, with fresh suspicions teeming in his head, David
jumped out, and got between him and the door of the big bath-room.
“I say, Bags, you haven’t had your bath,” he said; “and were you going
back without it? Aren’t you going to have a bath? Not feeling dirty?
Anyhow, I challenge. Do you accept it?”
Bags took off his dressing-gown.
“Oh, you thought I was going back to dormitory to put them in your
cubicle again, did you?” he said. “It just happens to be my bath there
by the door.”
“Well, but do you accept?” cried David, executing a sort of Indian
war-dance round him.
“No,” said Bags. “I don’t want to give you three with a racquet-handle,
as we made it up last night. And I don’t want you turning everything
upside down in my cubicle.”
Ferrers put on his dressing-gown with the solemnity of a judge assuming
the black-cap.
“Then it simply proves the plaintiff’s case, if you won’t have your
cubicle searched,” he said. “It’s all rot about your not wanting to
whack Blazes because it was _pax_ last night. He’s challenged you: it
isn’t _pax_ any longer. State of war!”
Ferrers was in his element, and it seemed to the court generally even as
to him, that never at the Old Bailey had the net been woven in such
impenetrable fashion round the most palpable criminal. Bags, too, felt
that, but the net that really enmeshed him was of very different sort
from what it appeared to be. Certainly he was in a hole, but not the
hole that every one thought he was in.
The majesty of the law proceeded.
“If you don’t accept the challenge,” said Ferrers, “it proves you are
guilty.”
The plaintiff continued to dance.
“I’ll let you give me six cuts, if I don’t find the Monarch in your
cubicle,” he shouted. “You must be guilty, if you refuse six. Mustn’t
he, Ferrers?”
Ferrers tore his sock in trying to put it on to a wet foot.
“Not for a cert,” he said. “Bags is beastly cunning. He may be running
you up to a higher figure.”
“Then I’ll let him have twelve cuts,” said David, feeling absolutely
sure about it, “if I may search his cubicle and not find the Monarch.
Oh, and search his dressing-gown, too,” he added quickly, conjecturing a
perfectly demoniacal piece of cunning on the part of Bags.
Bags stepped out of his bath with dignity, feeling there was no escape.
“Then I accept Blazes’ challenge of three cuts,” he said, “just to show
I didn’t want to run him up. If I did, I should take twelve.”
“Done,” said David. “I’ll go and search at once; there’s another quarter
of an hour before school. I may as well search his dressing-gown first.
No, not there. Oh, blow! what shall I say if Glanders finds me in his
cubicle again? I know: Bags is in the bath-room, and wants his liniment.
If Glanders doesn’t think that likely, she can come and look at him.”
Now Bags’s dilemma, the net in which he was really involved, was this.
He had lain awake for two hours last night in savage anger with David,
whom, in secret boyish fashion, he adored, and who had been so beastly
to him. Open vengeance was out of the question, because, if it came to a
fight, David was more than his match, and thus his revenge for that
infernal kick must be done stealthily. Plan after plan suggested itself
to him, but none were suitable until he thought of the very simple one
of taking the Monarch and his wife, which, as he knew quite well, lived
in David’s washing-basin at night. That was accomplished very easily,
without disturbing their owner. But a few hours later he was awakened by
David himself, who had conceived the revolting suspicion that Bags had
done precisely what he had done. Then at the same moment almost, while
he was hot with indignation at being justly accused, he had seen the
matron at the far end of the dormitory, and could not resist the
temptation to get David into further trouble. This, too, had been
successfully accomplished, and David would certainly be caned after
morning school. And then Bags began to regret his success: his affection
for David, whom no one could help liking even when he was being beastly,
and his sense of his own meanness pointed the finger of scorn at him,
and, having ensured David a caning, he wished he had not, at any rate,
taken his beloved stag-beetles as well. So, lingering behind till the
rest of the dormitory had gone to the bath-room, he induced the Monarch
and his wife, who were scratching about in his soap-tin, to crawl on to
his sponge, and, as he passed David’s cubicle, he had shaken them off on
to his bed.
Then had come the bath-room complication. He had been forced eventually
by Ferrers’s resistless legal acumen to accept the challenge, and he
would have to whack David, for any one might search his cubicle till
Doomsday and never find a stag-beetle there. And each one of those cuts
would be unjust: he had taken the stag-beetles, and David was perfectly
right. The fact of having put them back did not ease a troubled
conscience.
David rushed upstairs again to his dormitory, and with clatter and
publicity went straight to Bags’s cubicle, and began a violent and
intimate search. He searched in his pockets, he examined the lower tray
of his soap-dish, he peered behind pictures, and ransacked the
receptacle, usually called the synagogue-box, where Bags kept
family-letters and such-like, but nowhere was there the faintest trace
of the Monarch to be seen. These operations Glanders observed—and David
observed that she was observing them—with her bleak and stony eyes, and
just as he was very busy she approached.
“Do you want to be reported twice, Master Blaize?” she asked.
“Oh, certainly, if you like,” said David. “But Crabtree asked me to get
his liniment.”
“And why can’t Master Crabtree get it himself, then?” asked Glanders.
“And why does he want liniment?”
“Oh, don’t be tedious,” said David. “He can’t get it himself, because he
hasn’t got any clothes on, and is afraid of shocking you, and he wants
it because he has got a bruise, which you can see if you aren’t afraid
of being shocked. Anything else I can tell you?”
Muffled laughter sounded from various directions as Glanders sniffed,
which was her congenital way of acknowledging the legality of doubtful
proceedings, and David finished his search, turning over the pillows of
Bags’s bed without further hindrance. But there was no Monarch to be
found, and he had to go back to the bath-room to report that he could
find no liniment and had lost his challenge. This was depressing,
because the beloved Monarch was still missing, also his wife, the hope
of the race, and because the loss of the challenge meant three nasty
cuts from Bags and his racquet-handle. And the Head was going to let fly
at him first, and there was the missionary-map to be made, and the whole
blackness of this dreadful Monday morning, dissipated for the moment by
his certainty that he would find the Monarch, overcast the sky again.
On his way back he passed his cubicle, and, pausing to throw his sponge
and towel down, his eye fell on his bed, and there on the blanket were
two black blots of familiar shape.
David gave a great sigh.
“Oh Monarch and missus,” he said affectionately, “you little devils.”
The travelling-carriage of the royalties was to hand, and in a moment
the black pair were safe again. How they had got on to his blanket he
did not pause to think, and the three cuts due to him were “jolly cheap
at the price.” He made but a couple of leaps down the stairs to the
bath-room.
“I say, I’ve lost the challenge, Bags,” he said; “but I’ve found the
Monarch. He was on my blankets, and so was she. And—I say, I’m sorry I
suspected you. When’ll you take your cuts?”
Bags’s inconvenient conscience and affection gave him a nasty prod at
this. If David had only not said he was sorry he suspected him, he would
not have felt so “beastly.” On the other hand, it was dangerous to try
to stifle his internal beastliness by magnanimity, since this might lead
to fresh suspicions on David’s part. But magnanimity salted with sarcasm
might serve his turn.
“Oh, I don’t want to whack you,” he said, “as you say you were sorry. As
if I should have touched your filthy stags! Clip their wings, and take
them to Marchester next half, and see if Hughes is proud of his pal who
keeps vermin.”
David stared in blank surprise. To forgo the pleasure of chastisement
was not in the spirit of Shylock.
“Oh, well, thanks awfully,” he said. “If you don’t want to take your
cuts, I’m sure I don’t mind not getting them. But why don’t you?”
Bags was struggling into his shirt, and speech was for the moment
extinguished.
“Simply because the challenge was too silly for words,” he said, as his
head emerged.
The repetition of this silly reason did exactly that which Bags desired
should not happen. Suspicion, vague and unformulated as yet, again
sprang up in David’s mind. Such magnanimity was simply childish.
“I think I’ll take the cuts then, Crabtree,” he said, to mark the
complete severance of friendly relations.
That roused Bags: the rejection of his spurious, but highly superior,
motives quite stifled the prods of his inconvenient conscience.
“All right, then, you shall,” he said. “Gosh! I’ll let into you. I’ll
put beef into them, Blaize. I’ve got a racquet-handle that’ll do nicely.
I bet I break it. You’ll want some liniment afterwards.”
* * * * *
The ten-minutes bell sounded at this moment, and the boys ran upstairs
again to finish dressing and say their prayers. For the last five
minutes of these ten they were bound to be on their knees at their
bedside, while Glanders patrolled the dormitory. But with care and
discreet peeping through fingers it was possible to get through some
neglected dressing during the devotional five minutes, and David, who
was a good deal behindhand, buttoned his collar, put on his tie, and
laced one boot without being detected.
Mr. Dutton was in an unusually docile mood during this hour from seven
to eight, and it wanted little penetration on the part of his pupils,
when they remembered the visit he had done the Head the honour to pay
him last night, to guess the cause of that. David felt chagrin at the
fact that he had been detained in the bath-room, and had not been able
to take the dismembered yellow-back from the grate, to find out what
made the Head so waxy, but there was no doubt that it was the Head who
had made Mr. Dutton so mild. Indeed, it had often been a debated
question as to which was really the worst, a caning or a proper “jaw”
from the Head, for the hardiest were reduced to unwilling tears by the
Head’s tongue, when he really chose to apply it, so convincing and
dismal a picture could he paint of a boy’s satanic iniquity, and the
inevitable ruin that such courses fashioned for him in this world and
the next. But it was a point of honour not to cry at any application of
the cane after you were twelve; kids might cry, but not elderly persons.
The cane might break your hands, and make you set your teeth, but it was
not allowable to let it break your spirit. But a “jaw” broke your spirit
into smithereens, and no doubt that disintegrating process had happened
to old Dubs. Anything in the way of construing was sufficient this
morning, and the grammatical questions were mere child’s-play.
It was already ten minutes to eight, and the school sergeant, a
whiskered veteran, who visited the different class-rooms during early
school, with orders from the Head, and summonses for boys who had been
reported, had already passed the museum door without coming in, and
David’s heart rose. If Glanders had reported him, it was quite certain
that the sergeant would have conveyed the summons that he was to go to
the Head after chapel, to his class-room, and yet he had passed without
delivering it. From time to time these remissions happened. Glanders
occasionally forgot to report, even when she had promised it; sometimes
even in the act of complaining, the stoniness of her bosom relented.
Then, with a sinking of the heart, proportionally greater owing to its
premature uplifting, there was a tap on the door, and the sergeant
entered, saluting.
“Beg your pardon, sir,” he said to Mr. Dutton, handing him a small slip
of blue paper; “but I forgot this as I went by.”
Mr. Dutton glanced at it.
“Blaize to go to the Head after chapel,” he announced, and David thought
he detected a faint smile showing the malicious glee of a
fellow-sufferer.
Chapel, usually tedious, was not long enough that morning, and the
psalms, the lesson, the hymns, and the prayers passed in a flash.
Ferrers, as they went out, administered spurious consolation.
“If you stick your hands in cold water,” he said, “it’ll numb them a
bit. I remember, last winter, I held mine in the snow for five minutes,
and it didn’t sting nearly so much.”
“And there’s such a sight of snow about in July, isn’t there!” said
David bitterly.
Ferrers shrugged his shoulders.
“All right, then,” he said, feeling slightly hurt. “And you’ve got your
three cuts from Bags, too, haven’t you? I bet Bags lays on.”
A minute afterwards he was in the awful presence. Even as he entered he
heard the jingle of keys, and when he advanced to the table, where its
occupant was looking vexed, he saw that the fatal middle drawer was
already open. That it could have been opened for any other reason did
not strike him; he supposed that his case was already judged.
For the moment the Head seemed unaware of his presence, and continued to
read the letter that apparently annoyed him.
“Pish!” he said at length, in a dreadful voice, and, looking up, as he
tore it in fragments, saw David.
“Ah, Blaize,” he said, “I sent for you—yes, I want you to answer me a
question or two.”
This looked as unpromising as possible. The drawer was already open, but
it seemed that a “jaw” was coming first. Why couldn’t he cane him and
have done with it, thought the dejected David.
The Head rapped the table sharply.
“Question one,” he said. “Is it the case that my daughters have incurred
the wrath of the first form?”
David’s head reeled at the thickness of the troubles.
“Yes, sir,” he said.
“Good. Question two, which you need not answer if any sense of honour
forbid you. Why have they deserved this—er disgrace? And why do you
join in inflicting it?”
David drew a long breath; there was no sense of honour that would be
violated in telling the Head, but to do so was like taking a high header
into unknown waters, when it required all the courage you were possessed
of to go off a low board into four feet of familiar swimming-bath.
“Please, sir, it’s quite obvious that Car——”
He had begun with a rush, and the rush had carried him too far.
“Carrots,” said the Head suggestively.
(Lord! how did he know? thought David.)
“Please, sir, we felt sure that Miss Edith had got Ferrers into a row,
because she saw him in Richmond week before last,” said David.
“And—and sneaked to me?” suggested the Head.
“Yes, sir, told you.”
“I dare say Miss Edith saw him,” said the Head, “but I haven’t the
slightest idea whether she actually did or not. I saw him myself. Miss
Edith had nothing to do with it. Kindly tell your friends so.”
“I’ll tell them,” said David. “They’ll be awfully glad, sir.”
“Why?” asked the Head.
Again David dived off the high header-board into dark waters.
“Because nobody wanted to think she was a sneak, sir,” he said. “We
always thought she was a good chap—young lady, I mean, sir.”
The Head nodded, and for the next half-minute busied himself with the
reports that had come in this morning.
“I think there was something else I wanted to see you about,” he said.
“Yes: here it is. You are reported for being in Crabtree’s cubicle
before dressing-bell this morning. Any explanation?”
“No, sir,” said David.
“You knew it was against the rules?”
“Yes, sir.”
The Head drew a large and dreaded book towards him, which contained a
list of all the boys’ names, and against each the number of times they
had been reported for any misconduct during the current term. Next the
name of Blaize was that of Bellingham, and, glancing at it hastily, he
credited David with Bellingham’s stainless record.
“I see you have not been reported before this term,” he said.
The moment he had spoken he saw his mistake; on the line below was
David’s record, showing that lie had been reported twice. But he waited
for David’s answer. He had not considered what he should do if David
accepted the statement, but he believed, and wanted to prove to himself,
that David would not.
A joyful possibility whirled through David’s mind; it was conceivable
that previous reports against him had not been entered. And then, not
really knowing why, he spoke.
“No, sir, I have been reported before,” he said.
“For the same offence?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Once before?” asked the Head, feeling that his test stood firm.
“No, sir, twice,” said David, squeezing his hands together.
The Head closed the book. He put it in the middle drawer and closed that
also.
“Thank you for telling me the truth,” he said. “And now I want you, as a
personal favour, to make an effort to keep school-rules. They are made
for that purpose. Good-bye, my boy. Ah, you are late for breakfast, so
come and have breakfast with me. If you are late for school afterwards,
explain to Mr. Dutton.”
* * * * *
David was joyfully late for school, and not only explained briefly then,
but categorically afterwards to his form in the interval at half-past
ten.
“Sausages,” he said, “and poached eggs and bacon, and sloshy buttered
toast and strawberries. Gosh, the Head does himself well. He has
breakfast like that every day, I expect. Didn’t I tuck in? Oh, and
another thing: Carrots didn’t sneak at all, it was the Head himself who
saw Ferrers in Richmond. He told me so.”
“Don’t believe it,” said Ferrers, who had misogynistic tendencies.
“Well then, you’ve got to. The Head never lies, and so Carrots is all
right. And the Head’s my pal.”
“Can’t think why he didn’t whack you, though,” said Ferrers. “Perhaps he
knew you were going to catch it from Bags. He’s been binding his
racquet-handle, too, to get a firm grip.”
This was slightly malicious on Ferrers’s part, but what with special tea
last night, and special breakfast this morning, and the recovery of the
Monarch, and the remission of a caning, he thought David a little above
himself. But even this information about Bags did not appear to depress
him, and he cocked his yellow head on one side, like a meditative
canary, and half-shut his eyes, as if focussing something.
“Blow it, if I hadn’t forgotten all about Bags,” he said. “Ferrers,
there’s something rummy about Bags’s show. Why did Bags not want to take
up my challenge, if he knew the Monarch wasn’t in his cubicle? And why
didn’t he take a dozen cuts at me? It’s all rot of him to say that he
didn’t care about whacking me. Any decent chap’s mouth would water to
lick a fellow who had accused him of stealing.”
The two boys had wandered away in this half-hour’s interval between
schools to a distant corner of the field below the chestnut-tree. There
David lay down flat, and Ferrers flicked the fallen flowers at his face.
But he stopped at this.
“You see, I caught him a juicy hack, too, last night,” continued David.
“And he’s a revengeful beast in a general way.”
“Perhaps it’s the Day of Atonement or something,” suggested Ferrers.
David sat up.
“No, that can’t be it,” he said. “Else he’d want to make me atone.
Hallo, here he comes across the field, racquet-handle and all.”
He suddenly gave a shrill whistle through his broken front tooth.
“I say, will you back me up whatever I say?” he asked. “I’ve thought of
something ripping.”
Ferrers peered short-sightedly across the field. He did not often wear
his spectacles, since they were supposed to give him a resemblance to
Goggles, which was the rise of intolerable comment. So they seldom
graced his freckled nose.
“Yes, here he comes,” he said. “I’ll back you up. But, what is it?”
“Oh, you’ll see,” said David.
Bags made a truculent approach, swinging his racquet-handle. He had done
all that could humanly be done in the easing of his conscience, and
since he had been literally unable to get out of the rôle of executioner
with honour, he had wisely determined to dwell on the bright side of it,
and hit as hard as he could in the same place.
“I’ll lick you now if you like,” he said brightly.
David turned a cold face on him.
“Thanks, awfully,” he said, “but we settled it for twelve. You see, a
good deal may happen before twelve. Ferrers and I were just talking it
over. Wasn’t it a pity that Ferrers Minor slept so badly last night?”
This remark seemed slightly to disconcert Bags, but he carried it off
with fair success.
“The point?” asked Bags politely, slapping his leg gently with the
racquet-handle.
“Oh, thought you might see it,” said David. “The point is that he didn’t
go to sleep before—when was it, Ferrers?”
“He heard the clock strike one,” said Ferrers, at a venture.
A shade of relief crossed Bags’s face, which the Machiavellian David
noticed.
“I still don’t see the point,” said Bags.
David pursued his ripping plan.
“No, you’ve mixed it up, you goat,” he said to Ferrers. “Your minor told
me he awoke and heard the clock strike one, and lay awake till
dressing-bell. Bang, wide awake, like—like toothache.”
“Sorry, of course it was,” said Ferrers, backing his fellow-conspirator
up.
Bags shrugged his shoulders, and began to walk away.
“Afraid I can’t see the point,” he said. “So I’ll whack you at twelve,
Blazes.”
David lay down again with complete unconcern.
“Right oh,” he said. “But, of course, if you’ve got anything to say
about it all, you might be wise to say it yourself, and not let—well,
somebody else say it for you. Ferrers Minor hasn’t told anybody yet,
except his major and me. Not yet, you know,” he added.
Bags appeared to take no notice of this, unless he strolled away rather
more deliberately than before. Then David turned quickly to Ferrers and
whispered in his ear.
“Go and find your minor,” he said, “and don’t let Bags talk to him. I’m
going to stop here. I shouldn’t wonder if Bags came back.”
“But what on earth is it all about?” asked Ferrers.
David’s eyes sparkled with devilish intrigue.
“Can’t explain now,” he said. “Just go and stick on to your minor, and
don’t let Bags question him. There’s something up.”
Ferrers obeyed the bidding of the master-mind, and by a rapid flank
march got in front of Bags, who called to him. But he took no notice,
and presently David saw him lead off his minor like a policeman. At that
his habitually seraphic face grew a shade more angelic, and any one who
did not know him must have been surprised that wings did not sprout from
his low slim shoulders. The Machiavellian device which he had practised
had come to him like an inspiration: if Bags’s conscience was clear, he
would not mind a scrap for the wakefulness of young Ferrers, and David
was morally (or immorally) sure that Bags’s conscience was not
immaculate. He had had something to do with the disappearance of the
stag-beetles, though exactly what David had no idea. Then he gave a
little cackle of delight, for he saw that Bags had stopped in his
indolent stroll with the racquet-handle; then that he turned and was
coming back towards him. David lay down at full length and whistled in
an absent manner. Without looking, he became aware that Bags was
standing close to him.
“I say, Blazes, I want to tell you something,” said that
conscious-stricken one at length.
David sat up with an air of great surprise.
“Hallo: that you?” he said. “Tell away then, if it won’t take too long.”
“Well, it’s private. You must swear not to tell any one.”
David shook his head.
“Oh, I couldn’t do that,” he said.
“Why not?”
David turned on him an indulgent glance.
“Oh, I expect you know,” he said. “It’s partly because I know already
what you’re going to tell me, and partly because you’re a swindling,
stealing liar, and the sooner other chaps know that the better.”
Bags made a swinging blow in the air with his racquet-handle.
“Well then, I don’t care,” he said. “I’ll give you three of the jolliest
cuts you ever had at twelve.”
“Will you? After Ferrers Minor has told his story?” asked David.
“Well, I tried to get out of it,” said the unhappy Bags.
“There was an awful bright moon last night, Crabtree,” said David
thoughtfully. “But about what you want to tell me. It might make a
difference if you told me voluntarily.”
Bags capitulated.
“Well, then, I took your beastly stag-beetles, and put them back on your
bed when you had gone to your bath.”
“Oh, that was the way it was?” said David. “Pretty cute. But then, you
see, I was cuter. Ferrers Minor didn’t lie awake a minute, as far as I
know. But I saw you had a bad conscience. Can’t think why you didn’t
accept my challenge straight off. Why didn’t you?”
He looked at the dejected Bags, and his funny boyish little soul
suddenly grew perceptive.
“What’s the row, Bags?” he asked.
Bags sat down on the grass by him.
“I feel perfectly beastly,” he said. “You’re always horrid to me,
and—and I like you so awfully. You kicked me fit to kill last night,
just because I threw an ink-dart at you. I only did it for a lark, just
because I felt fit. And after I had taken your stags I was sorry, and I
tried to get out of your challenge, though I knew you would lose it.”
David ceased to sit in the seat of the scornful. Whatever Bags had done
(and he really had done a good deal) he had blurted out that “he liked
him so awfully.” It was no time to inquire whether he had seen Glanders
and not warned him, or to examine further into “the bally show.” What
Bags had said in all sincerity took rank over anything Bags might have
done. And with that he wiped the whole affair clean off his mind, and
held out a rather grubby hand.
“I bet we get on rippingly after this,” he said hopefully.