and slow to anger, and does not willingly afflict the Children of Men_!
From expounding the Bible he goes to the _Common Prayer_. And as _Carlos_
interprets the _Office_ of _Matrimony_, For Better, for Worse, is _for
Virgin for Whore_;[136] And that the Reference might not be mistaken, the
Poet is careful to put the Words in _Italick_, and great Letters. And by
the way, He falls under the _Penalty_ of the Statute for Depraving the
_Common Prayer_.[137]
_Sancho_ upon reading a Letter which he did not like, cries _Damn it, it
must be all Orthodox_.[138] _Damn_ and _Orthodox_ clapt together, make a
lively Rant, because it looks like Cursing the _Creeds_. The most
extraordinary passage is behind; _Sancho_ was unhappily Married: _Carlos
tells him, For your Comfort, Marriage they say is Holy. Sancho_ replies:
_Ay, and so is Martyrdom as they say, but both of them are good for just
nothing, but to make an end of a Mans Life_.[139] I shall make no
Reflections upon This: There needs no Reading upon a Monster: 'Tis shown
enough by its own Deformity. _Love for Love_ has a Strain like this, and
therefore I shall put them together: _Scandal_ solicits Mrs. _Foresight_;
She threatens to tell her Husband. He replys, _He will die a Martyr rather
then disclaim his Passion_.[140] Here we have Adultery dignified with the
stile of Martyrdom: As if 'twas as Honourable to perish in Defence of
Whoring, as to dye for the Faith of Christianity. But these _Martyrs_ will
be a great while in burning, And therefore let no body strive to grace the
Adventure, or encrease the Number. And now I am in this _Play_ the Reader
shall have more. _Jeremy_ who was bred at the University, calls the Natural
Inclinations to Eating and Drinking, _Whoreson Appetites_. This is strange
Language! The _Manicheans_ who made Creation the work of the Devil, could
scarcely have been thus Coarse.[141] But the _Poet_ was _Jeremy's_ Tutor,
and so that Mystery is at an end. Sr. _Samson_ carries on the
Expostulation, rails at the Structure of Human Bodies, and says,[142]
_Nature has been Provident only to Bears, and Spiders_; This is the Authors
Paraphrase on the 139 _Psalm_; And thus he gives God thanks for the
Advantage of his Being! The _Play_ advances from one wickedness to another,
from the _Works_ of God, to the Abuse of his Word. Foresight _confesses
'tis Natural for Men to mistake_.[143] Scandal _replies, You say true, Man
will err, meer Man will err----but you are something more----There have
been wise Men; but they were such as you----Men who consulted the Stars,
and, were observers of Omens_----Solomon _was wise but how?----by his
judgment in Astrology._ 'Tis very well! _Solomon_ and _Foresight_ had their
Understandings qualified alike. And pray what was _Foresight_? Why an
_Illiterate Fellow_. _A pretender to Dreams, Astrology, Palmistry_ &c. This
is the _Poets_ account of _Solomon's_ Supernatural Knowledge![144] Thus the
wisest Prince is dwindled into a Gypsie! And the Glorious Miracle resolved
into Dotage, and Figure-flinging! _Scandal_ continues his Banter, and says,
the _wise Men of the East owed their Instruction to a Star; which is
rightly observ'd by_ Gregory _the Great in favour of Astrology_. This was
the Star which shone at our Saviour's Birth. Now who could imagine by the
Levity of the occasion, that the Author thought it any better than an
_Ignis Fatuus_, or _Sydrophel's_ Kite in _Hudibras_? Sr. _Sampson_ and the
fine _Angelica_, after some lewd raillery continue the Allegory, and drive
it up into Profaness. For this reason the Citation must be imperfect.
_Sr._ Samps. Sampson'_s a very good Name for----your_ Sampsons _were strong
Dogs from the Beginning_.[145]
Angel. _Have a care----If you remember the strongest_ Sampson _of your
Name, pull'd an old House over his Head at last_. Here you have the Sacred
History burlesqu'd, and _Sampson_ once more brought into the House of
_Dagon_, to make sport for the _Philistines_! To draw towards an end of
this _Play. Tattle_ would have carried off _Valentine_'s Mistress. This
later, expresses his Resentment in a most Divine manner! Tattle _I thank
you, you would have interposed between me and Heaven, but Providence has
laid Purgatory in your way_.[146] Thus Heaven is debas'd into an Amour, and
Providence brought in to direct the Paultry concerns of the _Stage!
Angelica_ concludes much in the same strain: _Men are generally Hypocrites
And Infidels, they pretend to Worship, but have neither Zeal, nor Faith;
How few like_ Valentine _would persevere unto Martyrdom? &c._[147] Here you
have the Language of the _Scriptures_, and the most solemn Instances of
Religion, prostituted to Courtship and Romance! Here you have a Mistress
made God Almighty, Ador'd with Zeal and Faith, and Worship'd up to
Martyrdom! This if 'twere only for the Modesty, is strange stuff for a Lady
to say of her self. And had it not been for the profane Allusion, would
have been cold enough in all Conscience.
The _Provok'd Wife_ furnishes the Audience with a Drunken Atheistical
Catch: 'Tis true this Song is afterwards said to be _Full of Sin and
Impudence_.[148] But why then was it made? This Confession is a miserable
_Salvo_; And the Antidote is much weaker than the Poyson: 'Tis just as if a
Man should set a House in a Flame, and think to make amends by crying
_Fire_ in the Streets. In the last _Act Rasor_ makes his Discovery of the
Plot against _Belinda_ in _Scripture_ phrase. I'le give it the _Reader_ in
the Authors Dialogue.
Belind. _I must know who put you upon all this Mischief._[149]
Rasor. _Sathan And his Equipage. Woman tempted me, Lust weaken'd,----And so
the Devil overcame me: As fell_ Adam _so fell I_.
Belind. _Then pray Mr._ Adam _will you make us acquainted with your_ Eve?
_Rasor_ unmasks _Madamoselle_ and says, _This is the Woman that tempted me:
But this is the Serpent_ (meaning Lady _Fanciful_) _that tempted the Woman;
And if my Prayers might be heard, her punishment for so doing should be
like the Serpents of old, &c._ This _Rasor_ in what we hear of him before,
is all Roguery, and Debauch: But now he enters in _Sackcloth_; and talks
like _Tribulation_ in the _Alchemist_. His Character is chang'd to make him
the more profane; And his Habit, as well as Discourse, is a Jest upon
Religion. I am forced to omit one Line of his Confession. The Design of it
is to make the _Bible_ deliver an obscene Thought: And because the Text
would not bend into a Lewd Application; He alters the words for his
purpose, but passes it for Scripture still. This sort of Entertainment is
frequent in the _Relapse_. Lord _Foplington_ laughs at the publick
Solemnities of Religion, as if 'twas a ridiculous piece of Ignorance, to
pretend to the Worship of a God. He discourses with _Berinthia_ and
_Amanda_ in this manner[150]: _Why Faith Madam,----Sunday is a vile Day, I
must confess. A man must have very little to do at Church that can give an
account of the Sermon._ And a little after: _is to mind what one should not
do. Lory_ tells young _Fashion, I have been in a lamentable Fright ever
since that Conscience had the Impudence to intrude into your Company_. His
Master makes him this Comfortable Answer. _Be at peace, it will come no
more:----I have kick'd it down stairs._ A little before he breaks out into
this Rapture. Now Conscience I defie thee![151] By the way we may observe,
that this young _Fashion_ is the _Poets_ Favorite.[152] _Berinthia_ and
_Worthy_, two _Characters_ of Figure, determine the point thus in defence
of Pimping.
Berinth. _Well, I would be glad to have no Bodies Sins to answer for but my
own. But where there is a necessity_----[153]
Worth. _Right as you say, where there is a Necessity; A Christian is bound
to help his Neighbour._
_Nurse_, after a great deal of Profane Stuff concludes her expostulation in
these words: _But his Worship_ (_Young_ Fashion) _over-flows with his Mercy
and his Bounty; He is not only pleas'd to forgive us our Sins----but which
is more than all, has prevail'd with me to become the Wife of thy
Bosom_:[154] This is very heavy, and ill dress'd. And an Atheist must be
sharp set to relish it. The Vertuous _Amanda_, makes no scruple to charge
the Bible with untruths.
--_What Slippery stuff are Men compos'd of?
Sure the Account of their Creation's false,
And 'twas the Womans Rib that they were form'd of._[155]
Thus this Lady abuses her self, together with the Scripture, and shews her
Sense, and her Religion, to be much of a Size.
_Berinthia_, after she has given in a Scheme for the debauching _Amanda_,
is thus accosted by _Worthy_: _Thou Angel of Light, let me fall down and,
adore thee_![156] A most Seraphick Compliment to a Procuress! And 'tis
possible some Angel or other, may thank him for't in due time.
I am quite tired with these wretched Sentences. The sight indeed is
horrible, and I am almost unwilling to shew it. However they shall be
Produced like Malefactors, not for Pomp, but Execution. Snakes and Vipers,
must sometimes be look'd on, to destroy them. I can't forbear expressing my
self with some warmth under these Provocations. What Christian can be
unconcern'd at such intolerable Abuses? What can be a juster Reason for
indignation than Insolence and Atheism? Resentment can never be better
shown, nor Aversion more seasonably exerted! Nature made the Ferment and
Rising of the Blood, for such occasions as This. On what unhappy Times are
we fallen! The Oracles of Truth, the Laws of Omnipotence, and the Fate of
Eternity are Laught at and despis'd! That the _Poets_ should be suffer'd to
play upon the _Bible_, and Christianity be Hooted off the _Stage_!
Christianity that from such feeble beginings made so stupendious a
progress! That over-bore all the Oppositions of Power, and Learning; and
with Twelve poor Men, outstretch'd the Roman Empire. That this glorious
Religion so reasonable in its Doctrine, so well attested by Miracles, by
Martyrs, by all the Evidence that _Fact_ is capable of, should become the
Diversion of the Town, and the Scorn of Buffoons! And where, and by whom is
all this Out-rage committed? why not by _Julian_, or _Porphirie_, not among
Turks or Heathens, but in a Christian Country, in a Reform'd Church, and in
the Face of Authority! Well! I perceive the Devil was a Saint in his
_Oracles_, to what he is in his _Plays_. His Blasphemies are as much
improv'd as his Stile, and one would think the Muse was _Legion_! I suppose
the _Reader_ may be satisfied already: But if he desires farther proof,
there's something more flamingly impious behind.
The Christian _Almeida_ when _Sebastian_ was in danger, Raves and Foames
like one Possess'd,
_But is there Heaven, for I begin to doubt?[157]
Now take your swing ye impious Sin unpunish'd,
Eternal Providence seems over watch'd,
And with a slumbring Nod assents to Murther._
In the next _page_, she bellows again much after the same manner. The
_Double Dealer_ to say the least of him, follows his Master in this Road,
_Passibus æquis_. Sr. _Paul Plyant_ one would think had done his part: But
the ridiculing _Providence_ won't satisfie all People: And therefore the
next attempt is somewhat bolder.
_Sr._ Paul. _Hold your self contented my Lady_ Plyant,----_I find Passion
coming upon me by Inspiration_.[158] In _Love Triumphant_, _Carlos_ is by
the Constitution of the _Play_ a Christian;[159] and therefore must be
construed in the sense of his Religion. This Man blunders out this horrible
expression. _Nature has given me my Portion in Sense with a P---- to her.
&c._ The _Reader_ may see the Hellish Syllable at Length if he pleases.
This Curse is borrow'd for _Young Fashion_ in the _Relapse_.[160] The
_Double Dealer_ is not yet exhausted. _Cynthia the Top Lady grows
Thoughtful._ Upon the question she relates her Contemplation. Cynth. _I am
thinking (says she) that tho' Marriage makes Man and Wife one Flesh, it
leaves them two Fools._[161] This Jest is made upon a Text in
_Genesis_,[162] and afterwards applyed by our Saviour to the case of
Divorse. _Love for Love_ will give us a farther account of this Authors
Proficiency in the _Scriptures_. Our Blessed Saviour affirms himself _to be
the Way, the Truth, and the Light, that he came to bear witness to the
Truth, and that his Word is Truth_. These expressions were remembred to
good purpose. For _Valentine_ in his pretended Madness tells _Buckram_ the
Lawyer; _I am Truth,----I am Truth----Who's that, that's out of his way, I
am Truth, and can set him right._[163] Now a _Poet_ that had not been
smitten with the pleasure of Blasphemy, would never have furnish'd Frensy
with Inspiration; nor put our Saviours Words in the Mouth of a Madman.
_Lady Brute_, after some struggle between Conscience and Lewdness, declares
in Favour of the later. She says the _part of a downright Wife is to
Cuckold her Husband_.[164] And tho' this is _against the strict Statute Law
of Religion, yet if there was a Court of Chancery in Heaven, she should be
sure to cast him_.[165]
This Brass is double guilt. _First_, It supposes no Equity in Heaven. And
_Secondly_, If there was, _Adultery_ would not be punish'd! The _Poet_
afterwards acquaints us by this Lady, that Blasphemy is no Womans Sin.[166]
Why then does she fall into it? Why in the mid'st of Temper and Reasoning?
What makes him break in upon his own Rules? Is Blasphemy never unseasonable
upon the Stage, And does it always bring its excuse along with it? The
_Relapse_ goes on in the same strain. When Young _Fashion_ had a prospect
of cheating his Elder Brother, he tells _Lory, Providence thou see'st at
last takes care of Men of Merit.[167] Berinthia_ who has engag'd to corrupt
_Amanda_ for _Worthy_; attacks her with this Speech, _Mr_. Worthy _used you
like A Text, he took you all to peices_,[168] and it seems was particular
in her Commendation, Thus she runs on for several Lines, in a Lewd, and
Profane Allegory. In the Application she speaks out the Design, and
concludes with this pious Exhortation! _Now consider what has been said,
and Heaven give you Grace to put it in practise_; that is to play the
Whore. There are few of these last Quotations, but what are plain
Blasphemy, and within the _Law_. They look reeking as it were from
_Pandæmonium_, and almost smell of Fire and Brimstone. This is an Eruption
of Hell with a witness! I almost wonder the smoak of it has not darken'd
the Sun, and turn'd the Air to Plague and Poyson! These are outrageous
Provocations; Enough to arm all Nature in Revenge; To exhaust the
Judgments, of Heaven, and sink the _Island_ in the Sea! What a spite have
these Men to the God that made them. How do They Rebell upon his Bounty,
and attack him with his own Reason? These Giants in Wickedness, how would
they ravage with a Stature Proportionable? They that can Swagger in
Impotence, and Blaspheme upon a Mole-Hill, what would they do if they had
Strength to their Good-Will? And what can be the Ground of this Confidence,
and the Reason of such horrid Presumption? Why the _Scripture_ will best
satisfie the question. _Because sentence against An Evil work is not
excuted speedily, therefore the heart of the Sons of Men, is fully set in
them to do Evil._[169]
Clemency is weakness with some People; _And the Goodness of God which
should lead them to Repentance, does but harden them the more_. They
conclude he wants Power to punish, because he has patience to forbear.
Because there is a Space between Blasphemy and Vengeance; and they don't
perish in the Act of Defiance; Because they are not blasted with Lightning,
transfixt with Thunder, and Guarded off with Devils, they think there's no
such matter as a day of Reckoning. _But let no Man be Deceiv'd, God is not
mock'd_;[170] not without danger they may be assur'd. Let them retreat in
time, before the _Floods run over them_: Before they come to that place,
where Madness will have no Musick, nor Blasphemy any Diversion.
And here it may not be amiss to look a little into the Behaviour of the
_Heathens_. Now 'tis no wonder to find them run riot upon this Subject. The
Characters of their Gods were not unblemish'd. Their prospect of the other
World, was but dim; neither were they under the Terrors of _Revelation_.
However, they are few of them so bad as the _Moderns_.
_Terence_ does not run often upon this rock. 'Tis true _Chærea_ falls into
an ill Rapture after his Success.[171] _Chremes_ bids his Wife not tire the
Gods with Thanks:[172] And _Æschinus_ is quite sick of the Religious part
of the Weding.[173] These Instances; excepting his Swearing, are the most,
(and I think near all the) exceptionable Passages of this _Author_.
_Plautus_ is much more bold. But then his sally's are generally made by
_Slaves_ and _Pandars_.
This makes the Example less dangerous, and is some sort of extenuation. I
grant this imperfect excuse wont serve him always. There are some Instances
where his _Persons_ of better Figure are guilty of lewd Defences, Profane
Flights, and Sawcy Expostulation.[174] But the _Roman_ Deities were
_Beings_ of ill Fame, 'tis the less wonder therefore if the _Poets_ were
familiar with them. However, _Plautus_ has something good in him, and
enough to condemn the Practise. _Pleusides would gladly have had the Gods
changed the method of Things, in some Particulars. He would have had frank
good Humour'd People long live'd, and close-fisted Knaves die Young._ To
this _Periplectimenes_ Gravely answers, _That 'tis great Ignorance, and
Misbehaviour to Censure the Conduct of the Gods, or speak dishonorably of
them_.[175] In his _Pseudolus_ the Procurer _Ballio_ talks Profanely. Upon
which _Pseudolus_ makes this Reflection. _This Fellow makes nothing of
Religion, how can we trust him in other matters? For the Gods whom all
People have the greatest reason to fear, are most slighted by him._[176]
The Greek Tragedians are more staunch, and write nearer the Scheme of
Natural Religion. 'Tis true, they have some bold expressions: But then they
generally reprove the Liberty, and punish the Men. _Prometheus_ in
_Æschylus_ blusters with a great deal of Noise, and Stubborness.[177] He is
not for changing Conditions with _Mercury_: And chuses rather to be
miserable, than to submit even to _Jupiter_ himself. The _Chorus_ rebuke
him for his Pride, and threaten him with greater Punishment. And the _Poet_
to make all sure brings him to Execution before the end of the _Play_. He
discharges Thunder and Lightning at his Head; shakes his Rock with an
Earthquake, turns the Air into Whirl-wind, and draws up all the Terrors of
Nature to make him an example. In his _Expedition against Thebes_,
_Eteocles_ expects _Capaneus_ would be destroy'd for his Blasphemies.[178]
Which happen'd accordingly. On the other hand; _Amphiaraus_ being a person
of Virtue, and Piety, they are afraid least he should succeed. _For a
Religious Enemy is almost invincible._[179] _Darius_'s Ghost lays
_Xerxes_'s ruin upon the excess of his Ambition, _'Twas, because he made a
Bridge over the_ Hellespont, _used_ Neptune _contumeliously, and, thought
himself Superiour to Heaven._[180] This Ghost tells the _Chorus that the
Persian Army miscarried for the out-rages they did to Religion, for
breaking down the Altars, and plundering the Gods_.[181]
_Ajax_'s Distraction is represented as judicial in _Sophocles_. 'Twas
inflicted for his _Pride_ and _Atheism_.[182] 'When his Father bid him be
brave but Religious withall, he haughtily replyed that 'twas, for Cowards
to beg the Assistance of the Gods; as for his part, he hoped to Conquer
without them. And when _Minerva_ encouraged him to charge the Enemy,
[Greek: To t' antiphônei deinon arrêton t' epos,]
'He made her this Lewd and insufferable Answer. Pray withdraw, and give
your Countenance elswhere, I want no Goddesses to help me do my Business.
This Insolence made _Minerva_ hate him; and was the cause of his Madness
and self Murther.' To proceed. The _Chorus_ condemns the Liberty of
_Jocasta_, who obliquely charged a Practise upon the _Oracle_:[183] Tho'
after all, she did not tax _Apollo_, but his Ministers.
The same _Chorus_ recommends Piety, and Relyance upon the Gods, and
threatens Pride and Irreligion with Destruction. In _Antigone_,[184]
_Tiresias_ advises _Creon_ to wave the Rigour of his _Edict_, And not let
the Body of _Polynices_ lie unburied, and expos'd. He tells him the Altars
were already polluted with Humane Flesh. This had made the Language of the
Birds unintelligible, and confounded the marks of _Augury_.[185] _Creon_
replies in a rage, and says he would not consent to the Burial of
_Polynices_: No, tho' 'twere to prevent the Eagle's throwing part of the
Carkass in _Jove_'s _Chair_ of _State_. This was a bold Flight; but 'tis
not long before he pays for't. Soon after, his Son, and Queen, kill
themselves. And in the close the Poet who speaks in the _Chorus_, explains
the Misfortune, and points upon the Cause, and affirms that _Creon_ was
punish'd for his Haughtiness and Impiety. To go on to his _Trachiniæ_.
_Hercules_ in all the extremity of his Torture does not fall foul upon
Religion. 'Tis true, He shows as much Impatience as 'tis possible. His
Person, his pain, and the Occasion of it, were very extraordinary. These
circumstances make it somewhat natural for him to complain above the common
rate. The Greatness of his Spirit, the Feavour of his Blood, and the Rage
of his Passion, could hardly fail of putting Force, and Vehemence into his
Expressions. Tho' to deal clearly he seems better furnish'd with Rhetorick,
than true Fortitude.[186] But after all, his Disorders are not altogether
ungovern'd. He is uneasy, but not impious, and profane.
I grant _Hercules Oeteus_ in _Seneca_, swaggers at a strange Rhodomontading
rate. But the Conduct of this Author is very indifferent. He makes a meer
_Salamander_ of his _Hero_, and lets him declaim with too much of Length,
Curiosity and Affectation, for one in his Condition: He harangues it with
great plenty of Points, and Sentences in the Fire, and lies frying, and
Philosophizing for near a hundred Lines together. In fine, this Play is so
injudiciously manag'd, that _Heinsius_ is confident 'twas written by
neither of the _Seneca's_, but by some later Author of a lower _Class_. To
return to _Sophocle_'s _Trachiniæ_. _Hyllus_ reproaches the Gods with
Neglect, because they gave _Hercules_ no Assistance, and glances upon
_Jupiter_ himself.[187] This sally is not so thoroughly corrected as
formerly. 'Tis true the _Chorus_ make some little satisfaction immediately
after. They resolve all surprizes of Misfortune, all Revolutions of States
or Families, into the will and Permission of _Jupitur_. This by
implication, They make an argument for acquiescence. Besides, the Poet had
laid in a sort of caution against Misconstruction before. For the
_Messenger_ tells _Dejaneira_ that we ought not to Murmur at the Conduct of
_Jupiter_.[188]
----[Greek: Tou logou d' ou chrê Phthonon]
[Greek: Gonai proseinai Zeus hotou praktôr phanê.]
This for a Heathen is something tho' not enough, _Cleomenes_'s Rant seems
an imitation of _Hyllus_, Only 'tis bolder, and has nothing of the rashness
of Youth to excuse it.[189] Besides _Sophocles_ throws in somewhat by way
of Preservative. Whereas in _Cleomenes_ the Boy _Cleonidas_ has the better
on the wrong side, and seems to carry the cause of Atheism against his
Father.[190] This _Scene_ of a _Famine_ Mr. _Dryden_ calls a Beauty; and
yet Methinks _Cleora_ is not very Charming! Her part is to tell you the
Child suck'd to no purpose.
_It pull'd and pull'd but now but nothing came,
At last it drew so hard that the Blood follow'd.
And that Red Milk I found upon its Lips,
Which made me swoon for Fear._[191]
There's a Description of Sucking for you! And truly one would think the
Muse on't were scarsely wean'd. This Lady's fancy is just
_Slip-Stocking-high_; and she seems to want Sense, more than her Breakfast.
If this Passage would not shine, the Poet should have let it alone. 'Tis
_Horace_'s advice.
----_et quæ
Desperes tractata nitescere posse relinquas._[192]
The greatest part of the Life of this _Scene_ is spent in impious Rants,
and Atheistical Disputes. To do the Author right, his _Characters_ never
want Spirits for such Service, either full or Fasting. Some people love to
say the worst Things in the best manner; To perfume their Poysons, and give
an Air to Deformity.