"She looked at him almost insolently . . .
'Presently,' she said" _Frontispiece_
"'To begin,' he said, 'I came here fishing'" 46
"Only one fleet-footed young girl remained at his heels" 184
"'Pray, observe my unmatched eyes'" 246
[Illustration]
I
THE year had been, as everybody knows, a momentous and sinister year for
the masculine sex; marriages and births in the United States alone had
fallen off nearly eighty per cent.; the establishment of Suffragette
Unions in every city, town, and village of the country, their obedience
to the dictation of the Central National Female Franchise Federation; the
financial distress of the florists, caterers, milliners and modistes
incident to the almost total suspension of social functions throughout
the great cities of the land, threatened eventually to paralyse the
nation's business.
Clergymen were in a pitiable condition for lack of fees and teas; the
marriage license bureau was open only Mondays and Saturdays; the social
columns of the newspapers were abolished. All over the Union young men
were finding time hanging heavy on their hands after business hours
because there was little to do now that every town had its Franchise
Clubs magnificently fitted with every requisite that a rapidly advancing
sex could possibly demand.
The pressure upon the men of the Republic was becoming tremendous; but,
as everybody knows, they held out with a courage worthy, perhaps, of a
better cause, and women were still denied the franchise in the face of
impending national disaster.
But the Central Federation of Amalgamated Females was to deliver a more
deadly blow at man than any yet attempted, a blow that for cruelty and
audacity remains unparalleled in the annals of that restless sex.
As everybody now knows, this terrible policy was to be inaugurated in
secret; a trial was to be made of the idea in New York State; neither
the state nor federal governments had the faintest suspicion of what
impended; not a single newspaper had any inkling.
Even Augustus Melnor, owner and editor of that greatest of New York daily
newspapers, the _Morning Star_, continued to pay overwhelming attention
to his personal appearance, confident that the great feminine revolt was
on its last shapely legs, and that once more womankind would be kind to
any kind of mankind, and flirt and frivol and marry, and provide progeny,
and rock the cradle as in the good old days of yore.
So it happened one raw, windy day in May, Mr. Melnor entered his private
office in the huge _Morning Star_ building, in an unusually cheerful
frame of mind and sent for the city editor, Mr. Trinkle.
"An exceedingly pretty girl smiled at me on my way down town, Trinkle,"
he said exultantly. "That begins to look as though the backbone of this
suffragette strike was broken. What?"
"You've got a dent in your derby; it may have been that," said Mr.
Trinkle.
Mr. Melnor hastily removed his hat and punched out the dent.
"I'm not so sure it was that," he said, flushing up.
Mr. Trinkle gazed gloomily out of the window.
For an hour they talked business; then Mr. Melnor was ready to go.
"How are my nephews getting on?" he asked.
"Something rotten," replied Mr. Trinkle truthfully.
"What's the matter with 'em?"
"Everything--except a talent for business."
"You mean to say they exhibit no aptitude?"
"Not the slightest."
Mr. Melnor seized his overcoat from the hook.
Mr. Trinkle offered to hold it for him. The offer irritated the wealthy
owner of the _Star_, who suspected that the city editor meant to intimate
that he, Mr. Melnor, was too old to get into his own overcoat without
assistance.
"Never mind!" he said ungratefully. He fussed at the carnation in his
buttonhole, picked up his doggy walking stick, glanced over his carefully
pressed trousers and light coloured spats, strolled across to the mirror,
and leisurely drew on his new gloves.
"Mr. Trinkle," he began more complacently, "what I want you to always
bear in mind is that my pup nephews require a thorough grilling! I want
you to bully 'em! Suppress 'em! Squelch, nag, worry, sit on 'em!"
"I have," said the city editor with satisfaction. "They loathe me."
"Do it some more, then! I won't permit any nepotism in this office! If
you don't keep after 'em they'll turn into little beastly journalists
instead of into decent, self-respecting newspaper men! Have either of my
nephews attempted to write any more poetry for the Saturday supplement?"
"Young Sayre got away with some verses."
"Wha' d'ye do with 'em?" growled Mr. Melnor.
"Printed 'em."
"_Printed_ them! Are--you--craz-y?"
"Don't worry. Sayre got no signature out of me."
"But _why_ did you print?"
"Because those verses were too devilish good to lose. You must have read
them. It was that poem _Amourette_."
"Did _he_ do _that_?"
"Yes; and the entire sentimental press of the country is now copying it
without credit."
"My nephew wrote _Amourette_?" repeated Mr. Melnor with mingled emotions.
"He sure did. That poem seemed to deal a direct blow at this suffragette
strike. Several women subscribers sent in mash notes. I had a mind to
take advantage of one or two myself."
Pride and duty contended in the breast of Augustus Melnor; duty won.
"That's what I told you!" he snapped; "those pups will begin to write for
the magazines if you don't look out!"
"Well _I_ tell _you_ that they've no nose for news--no real instinct--and
they might as well write for the backs of the magazines."
"They've got to acquire news instinct! Bang it into 'em, Trinkle! Rub
their noses in it! I'll have those pups understand that if ever they
expect to see any inheritance from me they'll have to prepare themselves
to step into my shoes! They'll have to know the whole business--from
window-washer to desk!--and they've got to like it, too--every bit of it!
You keep 'em at it if it kills 'em, Trinkle. Understand?"
"It'll kill more than those gifted young literary gentlemen," said
Trinkle darkly.
"What do you mean by that?"
"It will kill a few dozen good stories. We're going to murder a big one
now. But it's your funeral."
"That Adirondack story?"
"Exactly. It's as good as dead."
"Trinkle! Listen to me. How are we going to make men of those pups if we
don't rouse their pride? I tell you a man grows to meet the opportunity.
The bigger the opportunity the bigger he grows--or he blows up! Put those
boys up against the biggest job of the year and it's worth five years'
liberal education to them. That's my policy. Isn't it a good one?"