CHAPTER XXX

Amber had been dwelling so much upon her philosophy and its development

that she half hoped that Josephine was not at home: there was just a

possibility that if Josephine was not at home, she, Amber, would get

back to her own home in time to give Lord Lullworth a cup of tea on his

return with the matched silks for her mother. She was therefore slightly

disappointed to learn that Miss West was at home and in the drawing-room

with her ladyship.

Josephine was paler than Amber had ever seen her, and she was certainly

colder than she had ever known her. She scarcely made any response to

Amber’s long kiss.

Resignation--that was the word which came to Amber’s mind when she held

her friend by both hands and looked at her. She was a statue--a marble

statue of Resignation. The worst might come; it would not move her.

“I thought--I expected--” Amber began, with a tone of reproach in her

voice. “You are really going to marry him--him--Mr. Clifton?” she

cried, after faltering over a word or two.

“Did you not see it in the papers, and has any one the hardihood to put

the papers in the wrong?” said Josephine.

“And you are to be congratulated? I am to congratulate you?” said Amber.

“Ah, that is quite another matter, my Amber,” laughed Josephine. Amber

did not like her laugh.

“Why should it be another matter?” she asked. “If you love----”

“Heavens! are you--you--you who are the exponent of the ineffable

fragrance of friendship--according to Plato--are you going to talk of

the lustre of love?” said Josephine. “There’s a cluster of phrases for

you, my dear. ‘The fragrance of Friendship--the lustre of Love’--quite

like a modern poet’s phrase, is it not? Send it to your friend Mr.

Richmond to serve up to his fourth form pupils. ‘Given, the phrase to

make the poem’--that’s the exercise--what does he call it--the Time

Study? Do let us try it. It should run like this: ‘The Fragrance of

Friendship is folly’--that’s a capital line--even though it does contain

a memory of ‘Dolores.’ And then you must go on--‘The Lustre of Love is

a lure’? Yes, that might do, if you can’t find anything better. And

now let us talk about something agreeable for a change. Here is my dear

mother dying to tell you what she thinks of your trying to entrap poor

Lord Lully in your network of Platonism. She saw you in the garden at

Hyde Park Gate on Monday.”

Amber turned away. She had never known anything more pathetic than the

way in which Josephine had rushed along when once she began to speak.

There was not a note of Josephine’s voice in all she had said. When

Josephine had ever played at being cynical, she had gone softly--there

had been something of merriment in her voice; but now there was the

gleam of chilled steel in every flash of her phrases. The implacable

brilliance of a bayonet charge was in all her words. Amber felt as if a

bird which had always sung the song of a thrush had suddenly developed

the metallic shriek of the parrot.

Amber was ready to weep at the pathos of it. It was pathetic; but

terrible. She saw that Josephine’s nerves were strung up to the highest

point of tension, and that was why the effect of shrillness was produced

by her speech.

She turned to Lady Gwendolen. Surely Lady Gwendolen would at last become

a mother to her own daughter! Surely she would detect the pathos of the

change that had come about in her nature. And indeed Lady Gwendolen was

very sympathetic.

“It is all very well to make light of the whole business, my dear

Amber,” she cried plaintively. “Daughters engage themselves to be

married, and sometimes get married too, without a thought for their

mothers. Ah, is there no poet--no novelist--who will deal adequately

with the mother’s tragedy? It will make me look a hundred, at the very

least! A married daughter! ... ‘Good heavens!’ people will say. ‘I had

no idea that Lady Gwendolen had a married daughter; why then she must be

at least’--and then they will name some horrid age--forty, may be,--I

know the way of these women. ‘Forty--she must be a good way over forty,’

they will say. ‘She was no chicken when she married, and her daughter

looks every day of twenty-six--why, she must be at least fifty’--they

will try to make me out to be fifty--fifty-two the spiteful ones will

insist on--I know them. They will take very good care never to look up

Debrett to get at the truth. Ah, the Mother’s Tragedy--the Mother’s

Tragedy. No one ever thinks of asking about a woman’s age until her

daughter gets married. Then, it’s the first thing they do. Ah, the

Mother’s Tragedy! How well that broad brim suits her, doesn’t it, Joe?

You didn’t think, I suppose, of a bow of cerise chiffon just at the

curve? A little daring thing like that, you know, is often quite

effective.”

“I hope you will be happy, my dearest Joe,” said Amber.

“I shall be married, at any rate,” said Josephine, “and isn’t that a

step in the right direction? Happiness?... Well, could there be anything

more ridiculous than an attempt to define happiness? Six months ago I

had no hesitation in defining it for my own benefit. I defined it--down

to the very man. That was where I was the fool,--for now I have come to

think that that which I thought to be happiness is the only unhappiness

that exists for me in the world. But I shall face it. I shall face it.

When one has been a fool one must pay for it.”

“Dear Joe--oh, Joe--Joe! Do not talk so, for God’s sake,” cried Amber.

“You began it, my dear Amber,” said Joe, pointing a finger at her, and

leaning back among the cushions of her sofa. The attitude was that one

of the lovely figures in Andrea’s picture of “The Wedding Feast,” and

Amber recognised it with horror. “You began it--you, talking about

happiness and the rest of it,” she continued. “Well, there, I’ll say no

more.... Heavens, I forgot that I did not see you since we returned from

The Weir! And that seems a lifetime ago. Ah, it is true, ‘Marriage and

death and division, make barren our lives.’ I wonder why I was such a

fool as to go to The Weir with you, Amber.”

“What has come over her? She has been quite as rude as that all day,”

complained Lady Gwendolen. “I thought that nothing could make her rude,

however full of theories she might be. But I’ve noticed, Amber, that

rudeness and a reputation usually go together. At any rate, the women

who are said to be intellectual seem to me to be nothing but rude. As

soon as a woman has insulted you grossly three times you must take it

for granted that her intellect is of the highest order. Of course if you

think cerise too trying you might have it in a much lighter shade just

where the brim begins to curve. You saw my toque with the poppies and

the corn? I was not afraid to face the strongest colour. Oh, must you

really go?”

“She really must: I cannot see how she could possibly remain another

five minutes,” said Josephine. “Amber has some sense of what is sacred

and what is profane. I had the same ideas a week ago, but that’s a long

time back. Priestesses of Baal must have revolted the sensitiveness of

the daughters of Levi. Good-bye, Amber, and take my advice and don’t

come back to us. I should be sorry to flaunt my new-found unhappiness in

your face.”

The tone of her voice and of her laugh that followed gave Amber the

impulse to put her fingers in her ears and rush from the room--from the

house. She resisted the suggestion, however, and contented herself with

a protest of uplifted hands and mournfully shaking head.

“Poor Joe--poor Joe!” she whispered.

“That is the sincerest congratulation I have yet had,” said Josephine.

“It is the congratulation that contains the smallest amount of

bitterness. When people say ‘I hope you may be happy, my dear,’ they

mean that they wouldn’t give much for my chances. No, Amber, don’t come

back to us until I get used to being engaged. So many people have come.

Mr. Clifton is wiser: he stays away. Oh, he was always so clever! The

idea of a girl like myself trying to be equal to him!--Good-bye, dear.”

Amber did not speak a word. She almost rushed from the room, while Lady

Gwendolen was still talking, musingly, of the merits of a bow of pink

chiffon--it need not necessarily be a large or an imposing incident in

the composition of the hat with the broad brim, a mere suggestion of the

tint would be enough, she thought.

Amber felt as if she had just come from the deathbed of her dearest

friend. She was horrified at the tone of Josephine’s voice and at the

sound of her laugh. She felt that she never wished to see again the

creature who had taken the place of her dear friend Josephine West.

The daughter of a mother who was a worldling, and of a father who was

a politician, Josephine had ever shown herself to be free from the

influence of either. But now--well, even her father was able to assume

a certain amount of sincerity in dealing with political questions,

especially when a General Election was impending. He had never talked

cynically of the things which were held dear by the people with the

votes. And as for her mother she was in the habit of speaking with

deep feeling on the subject of the right fur for opera cloaks and other

matters of interest to the intelligent. But there was Josephine talking

and laughing on the first day of her engagement with a cynicism that

could not have been bitterer had she been married a whole year.

What did it mean? What had brought about that extraordinary change in

the girl’s nature? These were the questions which distracted Amber all

the way to her home.

She could not forget that, after Josephine had written that little

paper defining Platonic Friendship, she had been led to ask herself why

Josephine should have thought well to be so satirical on the subject;

and she had come to the conclusion that Josephine’s attitude was due to

the fact of her having a tender feeling not of friendship but of love

for some man; and Amber’s suspicions fell upon Ernest Clifton. She

felt sure that she had noticed a certain light in Josephine’s face upon

occasions when Mr. Clifton was near her. And yet now that she promised

to become the wife of Mr. Clifton, the light that was in her eyes was an

illumination of a very different sort.

And then as the question of exultation suggested itself to her she

recollected how she fancied that she had perceived such an expression

on the face of her friend on the Monday morning when she had returned to

The Weir by the side of Pierce Winwood. The same expression was on the

face of Pierce Winwood also, and Amber had felt convinced that he had

told her he loved her and that she had not rejected him.

That was why they had talked so enthusiastically on the subject of the

reaping machine (blue, picked out with vermillion).

But how was she to reconcile what she had seen and heard in the

drawing-room which she had just left with her recollection of the return

of Josephine and the other man--not the man whom she had promised to

marry--from the survey of the reaping machine?

Pierce Winwood had practically confessed to her that he meant to

ask Josephine if she thought she could love him, and the chance

had undoubtedly been given to him to put such a question to her. If

then--if--if he...

In an instant she fancied that she perceived all that had happened.

She did not as a matter of fact perceive all that had happened, but she

certainly did become aware of a good deal--enough for her to go on

with; and a moment after perceiving this she saw that Pierce Winwood was

walking rapidly alongside the rails of Kensington Gardens.

He saw her and made a little motion with his hand suggesting his desire

to speak to her. She stopped the victoria.

“I hope you will be at home this afternoon,” he said. “I am so anxious

to speak with you for five minutes.”

“I will walk the rest of the way home: I have not had a walk to-day,”

she said, stepping out of the victoria.

“You are very good,” he said, as the machine whirled off. “Do let us

turn into the gardens for a minute. I should not like to miss this

chance. You saw that announcement in the papers to-day?”

“Ah--ah!” she sighed, as they went through one of the gates and on to an

avenue made dim by the boughs of horse-chestnut.

“Think of it! Think of that paragraph if you can when I tell you that

she told me only on Monday that she loved me,” he cried.

She stopped short. So she had not been mistaken after all.

“She promised--Josephine promised?”

“She promised. I gave you to understand that I meant to put my fate to

the test, and I did so on Monday. Ah, she told me that she loved

me--me only--me only--and I know that she spoke the truth. She loved me

then--she loves me now--me only--and yet--you saw that announcement.”

Amber could only shake her head dolefully. Matters were getting too

complicated for her. The effort to reconcile one incident with another

was a pain to her.

“You told me that she was free,” he continued. “That was because you did

not know that she had been engaged secretly to that man. He was clever

enough--unscrupulous enough--clever people are unscrupulous. It is

only the people who are less clever that fail to get rid of their

scruples--at any rate he persuaded her to bind herself to him in secret.

Later--a fortnight ago--she insisted on his releasing her and he did

so--technically; but in parting from her--more cleverness--he gave her

to understand that he regarded her as still bound to him--he made it a

matter of honour--she was only released on _parole_--a trick. Was

she not entitled to listen to me? No one can deny it. She had her

misgivings, but that was afterwards--she had confessed that she loved

me--me only. I did not give the matter a thought. She had no doubt that

she would be able to meet him. Her protection was to ask him to go to

her father for his consent.”

“And he took her at her word. He got her father’s consent. They are

both politicians--her father and the other. And every member of the

Government knows enough about every other member of the Government to

hang him. They must have made a compact together. They say that Mr.

Clifton is the cleverest politician in England. We know what that means.

My father says, ‘Show me the cleverest politician in England and I’ll

show you the greatest rascal in Europe.’”

“There must have been something diabolical at work. This is the letter

which she wrote to me. Poor girl! Poor girl!”

“I cannot read it--I know it all--all. I love her--I cannot listen to

the despairing cries of one whom I love. Poor Josephine! I was with her

just now... oh, terrible--terrible!”

“Ah, you have been with her? you saw her? She would not see me. And what

have you found out? Do not tell me that she cares anything for him.”

“I saw her; but what could I find out? She did not confide anything to

me--she did not seek to do so. I shall never go again---- She frightened

me. There was no word of Josephine in all she said. Have you not been to

her?”

“Been to her. How could I get that letter and remain away from her? I

went in the forenoon--she would not see me--the man had received his

instructions. That is why I was going to you. You must ask her to go to

you to-morrow, and I shall meet her at your house. My God, cannot you

perceive that I must see?--that she must be saved from her fate?... What

am I thinking of--to talk to you in this way--commanding? What can you

think of me?”

“Do not accuse me of being unable to see how you love her. But I

cannot do what you ask me. How would it be possible? You must write to

her--persuade her to see you.”

“And I thought that you were my friend.”

He had stopped on the avenue and was gazing at her reproachfully.

“I am your friend,” she said, “and therefore I cannot do this. If you

were to meet her and hear her talk as I heard her to-day you would turn

away from her forever. I know that.”

“Turn from her--I--I--turn from her--her?” he cried. “Oh, let me have

the chance--you will give me the chance?”

She shook her head.

“Then what am I to do?” he said. “Would you counsel me to remain

passive--to allow her to marry that man whom she detests and to send her

a wedding present? A diamond star would be a nice present, wouldn’t

it? or a wheat sheaf--I saw one the other day--set with pearls and

diamonds?”

“Oh, you are talking now just as she talked--so wildly--so wickedly.

Cannot you see that just at this moment you are both beyond the control

of reason? You say things to me now that you do not mean--she did the

same. If you were to meet now you would say things to her--she would say

things to you--you would part from her forever.”

“I would be calm. I would remember that everything depended on my being

calm.”

“Ah, you think so. But you cannot be calm even to me. And you did not

see her as I saw her just now.”

“Would to heaven that I had the chance.”

“Do not say that. You would drown yourself there.”

(They had reached the Round Pond.)

He walked along in silence by her side--in silence and with bowed head.

“I know what will happen,” he said at last: “she will soon become

reconciled to her fate. She will soon come to think that he is part of

her life and I shall cease to be in any thought of hers. Well, perhaps

that is the best thing that could happen. But I thought that she was not

like other women. I fancied that when she knew... But you will see her

again? You will tell her that I must see her--surely she will let me say

good-bye to her.”

“I can say nothing. But you must not see her now. Wait for a day or two.

Oh, cannot you trust her to bear you in mind for a day or two? Did she

not say that she loved you?”

“And she does--I know that she does. Oh, it is the old story--the old

story. Her father has forced her into this.”

Amber could say nothing. She thought that it would be better for her

not to go into the question of the antiquity of the story of a girl

promising to marry a rich man, and her parents endeavouring to marry her

to a poor one--that was the summary of the love story of Josephine West.

He walked in silence--comparative silence--by her side until they

reached the road once more. At the entrance to her home, he said humbly:

“My dear Miss Severn, I feel that you have given me good advice. I will

obey you--I will make no attempt to see her for some days. I knew that I

should be right in coming to you. You will forgive me for the wild way I

talked to you.”

“If you had not talked in that way I would never speak to you again,”

said Amber, giving him her hand.

According to Plato · 第 30 / 32 章