Verily, my Daughter, there be these three: the maid, the matron, and
the widow; and the luckiest of these is the _widow_.
For she hath graduated from the School of Experience and her crêpe veil
glorifieth her as a diploma.
And, though she may live in a bachelor flat, none shall gossip about
her; but whatsoever she doeth shall seem “cute” in the eyes of men.
When she talketh wittily they shall not say, “She knoweth too much”;
and when she talketh foolishly they shall declare that she but seeketh
to _appear_ simple. If she smoketh a cigarette, she will make excuse,
saying, “Mine _husband_ taught me how to do this thing”, and all men
shall call her “fascinating”.
Yea, she possesseth all the glory of matrimony, even unto “Mrs.” on her
name, and none of the discomforts. She shall marry a second time if she
so desireth; and if she doth _not_, who shall say that she _could_ not?
For one man hath set his seal of approval upon her, and where one hath
led the rest shall follow like unto a flock of Geese. Yea, in the
matter of women, man hath great faith in the judgment of his brother,
but he doubteth his _own_ taste.
And, though a widow be neither wealthy, nor good to look upon; though
she be fat and forty and frivolous; yet she understandeth how to make a
man comfortable--which is the secret of all wisdom. She shall feed the
lambs from the chafing-dish and the lions with honeyed words; she shall
coax the smoker to smoke; she shall hold a match to his cigar; she
shall bring a footstool for his feet and a couch pillow for his head;
she shall mend his gloves and listen eagerly to his stories unto seven
times seven times.
Yet envy her not, my daughter, for hath she not been married once?
And a woman who hath once _been married_ hath earned whatsoever she
receiveth.