Oh, ye damsels of Babylon! Ye followers after fads and wearers of pearl
earrings! How long will ye seek to appear _sophisticated_? How long
will ye continue to pose as _cynics_, and think it chic to be satirical
and piquant to be capricious?
Know ye not, oh foolish ones, that a man dreadeth a female cynic as a
small boy dreadeth an education? Yea, and a satirical damsel is unto
him as a caterpillar upon the neck, which maketh him to shudder. But a
capricious woman is as gravel in the shoes. She giveth him great _pain_.
Behold, a foolish damsel seeketh always to scintillate. She appeareth
clothed in worldly wisdom and bristling with opinions. She provoketh
arguments and answereth with repartee. She mocketh at a man’s
sentiments and rebuketh him with epigrams. She maketh him to look
_foolish_.
But a wise damsel is sweeter than distilled honey and more _simple_
than the plot of a Robert Chambers novel. She lighteth her own way with
the sun of her smiles, and smootheth all her paths with soft soap. She
seeketh not her own glorification but poureth oil upon the vanity of
the just and unjust alike.
Doth a youth argue with her, she is easily convinced and covereth him
with approbation, saying: “How didst thou _ever_ think of _that_?”
And, lo, his argument is broken against him.
Doth her Beloved call at eve, bringing with him the _grouch_ “that
knoweth no brother”, she greeteth him with the _smile_ that knoweth no
sister.
She ministereth unto him with cooling drinks and looks of sympathy.
She bringeth him the ash-tray and the shaded lamp and the foot-stool
and the newspapers.
She urgeth him to _smoke_.
She forbeareth to _talk_.
And behold his mood dissolveth as the mist before the sun, and he
exclaimeth in his heart: “Good Heavens! What would life _be_ without
this _woman_!”
He proposeth.
And all the days of her life she treadeth upon velvet.
Verily, verily, a wise woman preferreth peace of mind unto her
own opinions, _comfort_ unto her dignity, and an _husband_ unto a
reputation for brilliancy. She saith in her heart:
“I am not here to _reform_ him, but to _please_ him.”
And, lo, all the world is her _roller coaster_! For the price of
_peace_ is a _perpetual smile_!