Mrs. Gaskell was a keen student of popular customs and
traditions, and several of her articles prove how observant and
delightfully inquisitive she always was, where an opportunity
of investigating any tradition or custom presented itself.
Now let us hear about the marriage-songs. Life seems like an opera
amongst the modern Greeks; all emotions, all events, require the relief
of singing. But a marriage is a singing time among human beings as well
as birds. Among the Greeks the youth of both sexes are kept apart, and do
not meet excepting on the occasion of some public feast, when the young
Greek makes choice of his bride, and asks her parents for their consent.
If they give it, all is arranged for the betrothal; but the young people
are not allowed to see each other again until that event. There are parts
of Greece where the young man is allowed to declare his passion himself
to the object of it. Not in words, however, does he breathe his tender
suit. He tries to meet with her in some path, or other place in which he
may throw her an apple or a flower. If the former missile be chosen, one
can only hope that the young lady is apt at catching, as a blow from a
moderately hard apple is rather too violent a token of love. After this
apple or flower throwing, his only chance of meeting with his love is at
the fountain; to which all Greek maidens go to draw water, as Rebekah
went, of old, to the well.
The ceremony of betrothal is very simple. On an appointed evening, the
relations of the lovers meet together in the presence of a priest, either
at the house of the father of the future husband, or at that of the
parents of the bride elect. After the marriage contract is signed, two
young girls bring in the affianced maiden—who is covered all over with a
veil—and present her to her lover, who takes her by the hand, and leads
her up to the priest. They exchange rings before him, and he gives them
his blessing. The bride then retires; but all the rest of the company
remain, and spend the day in merry-making and drinking the health of the
young couple. The interval between the betrothal and the marriage may be
but a few hours; it may be months and it may be years; but, whatever the
length of time, the lovers must never meet again until the wedding day
comes. Three or four days before that time, the father or mother of the
bride send round their notes of invitation; each of which is accompanied
by the present of a bottle of wine. The answers come in with even more
substantial accompaniments. Those who have great pleasure in accepting,
send a present with their reply; the most frequent is a ram or lamb
dressed up with ribands and flowers; but the poorest send their quarter
of mutton as their contribution to the wedding-feast.
The eve of the marriage, or rather during the night, the friends on each
side go to deck out the bride and groom for the approaching ceremony. The
bridegroom is shaved by his paranymph or groom’s man, in a very grave
and dignified manner, in the presence of all the young ladies invited.
Fancy the attitude of the bridegroom, anxious and motionless under the
hands of his unpractised barber, his nose held lightly up between a
finger and thumb, while a crowd of young girls look gravely on at the
graceful operation! The bride is decked, for her part, by her young
companions; who dress her in white, and cover her all over with a long
veil made of the finest stuff. Early the next morning the young man and
all his friends come forth, like a bridegroom out of his chamber, to seek
the bride, and carry her off from her father’s house. Then she, in songs
as ancient as the ruins of the old temples that lie around her, sings
her sorrowful farewell to the father who has cared for her and protected
her hitherto; to the mother who has borne her and cherished her; to the
companions of her maidenhood; to her early home; to the fountain whence
she daily fetched water; to the trees which shaded her childish play;
and every now and then she gives way to natural tears; then, according
to immemorial usage, the paranymph turns to the glad yet sympathetic
procession and says in a sentence which has become proverbial on such
occasions—“Let her alone! she weeps!” To which she must make answer,
“Lead me away, but let me weep!” After the _cortège_ has borne the bride
to the house of her husband, the whole party adjourn to church, where
the religious ceremony is performed. Then they return to the dwelling of
the bridegroom, where they all sit down and feast; except the bride, who
remains veiled, standing alone, until the middle of the banquet, when
the paranymph draws near, unlooses the veil, which falls down, and she
stands blushing, exposed to the eyes of all the guests. The next day is
given up to the performance of dances peculiar to a wedding. The third
day the relations and friends meet all together, and lead the bride to
the fountain, from the waters of which she fills a new earthen vessel;
and into which she throws various provisions. They afterwards dance in
circles round the fountain.