At Lord Hailes's, we spent a most agreeable day; but again I must
lament that I was so indolent as to let almost all that passed
evaporate into oblivion. Dr Johnson observed there, that 'it is
wonderful how ignorant many officers of the army are, considering how
much leisure they have for study, and the acquisition of knowledge.' I
hope he was mistaken; for he maintained that many of them were
ignorant of things belonging immediately to their own profession; 'for
instance, many cannot tell how far a musket will carry a bullet;' in
proof of which, I suppose, he mentioned some particular person, for
Lord Hailes, from whom I solicited what he could recollect of that
day, writes to me as follows:
As to Dr Johnson's observation about the ignorance of officers, in the
length that a musket will carry, my brother, Colonel Dalrymple, was
present, and he thought that the doctor was either mistaken, by
putting the question wrong, or that he had conversed on the subject
with some person out of service.
Was it upon that occasion that he expressed no curiosity to see the
room at Dumfermline, where Charles I was born? 'I know that he was
born,' said he; 'no matter where.' Did he envy us the birth-place of
the king?]
Near the end of his Journey, Dr Johnson has given liberal praise to Mr
Braidwood's academy for the deaf and dumb. When he visited it, a
circumstance occurred which was truly characteristical of our great
lexicographer. 'Pray,' said he, 'can they pronounce any LONG words?'
Mr Braidwood informed him they could. Upon which Dr Johnson wrote one
of his sequipedalia verba, which was pronounced by the scholars, and
he was satisfied. My readers may perhaps wish to know what the word
was; but I cannot gratify their curiosity. Mr Braidwood told me, it
remained long in his school, but had been lost before I made my
inquiry. [Footnote: One of the best criticks of our age 'does not wish
to prevent the admirers of the incorrect and nerveless style which
generally prevailed for a century before Dr Johnson's energetick
writings were known, from enjoying the laugh that this story may
produce, in which he is very ready to join them'. He, however,
requests me to observe, that 'my friend very properly chose a LONG
word on this occasion, not, it is believed, from any predilection for
polysyllables (though he certainly had a due respect for them), but in
order to put Mr Braidwood's skill to the strictest test, and to try
the efficacy of his instruction by the most difficult exertion of the
organs of his pupils'.]
Dr Johnson one day visited the Court of Session. He thought the mode
of pleading there too vehement, and too much addressed to the passions
of the judges. 'This,' said he, 'is not the Areopagus.'
At old Mr Drummond's, Sir John Dalrymple quaintly said, the two
noblest animals in the world were, a Scotch highlander and an English
sailor. 'Why, sir,' said Dr Johnson, 'I shall say nothing as to the
Scotch highlander; but as to the English sailor, I cannot agree with
you.' Sir John said, he was generous in giving away his money.
JOHNSON. 'Sir, he throws away his money, without thought, and without
merit. I do not call a tree generous, that sheds its fruit at every
breeze.' Sir John having affected to complain of the attacks made upon
his Memoirs, Dr Johnson said, 'Nay, sir, do not complain. It is
advantageous to an authour, that his book should be attacked as well
as praised. Fame is a shuttlecock. If it be struck only at one end of
the room, it will soon fall to the ground. To keep it up, it must be
struck at both ends.' Often have I reflected on this since; and,
instead of being angry at many of those who have written against me,
have smiled to think that they were unintentionally subservient to my
fame, by using a battledoor to make me virum volitare per ora.
At Sir Alexander Dick's, from that absence of mind to which every man
is at times subject, I told, in a blundering manner, Lady
Eglingtoune's complimentary adoption of Dr Johnson as her son; for I
unfortunately stated that her ladyship adopted him as her son, in
consequence of her having been married the year AFTER he was born. Dr
Johnson instantly corrected me. 'Sir, don't you perceive that you are
defaming the countess? For, supposing me to be her son, and that she
was not married till the year after my birth, I must have been her
NATURAL son.' A young lady of quality, who was present, very
handsomely said, 'Might not the son have justified the faults?' My
friend was much flattered by this compliment, which he never forgot.
When in more than ordinary spirits, and talking of his journey in
Scotland, he has called to me, 'Boswell, what was it that the young
lady of quality said of me at Sir Alexander Dick's?' Nobody will doubt
that I was happy in repeating it.
My illustrious friend, being now desirous to be again in the great
theatre of life and animated exertion, took a place in the coach,
which was to set out for London on Monday the 22d of November. Sir
John Dalrymple pressed him to come on the Saturday before, to his
house at Cranston, which being twelve miles from Edinburgh, upon the
middle road to Newcastle (Dr Johnson had come to Edinburgh by Berwick,
and along the naked coast), it would make his journey easier, as the
coach would take him up at a more reasonable hour than that at which
it sets out. Sir John, I perceived, was ambitious of having such a
guest; but, as I was well assured, that at this very time he had
joined with some of his prejudiced countrymen in railing at Dr
Johnson, and had said, he wondered how any gentleman of Scotland could
keep company with him, I thought he did not deserve the honour: yet,
as it might be a convenience to Dr Johnson, I contrived that he should
accept the invitation, and engaged to conduct him. I resolved that, on
our way to Sir John's, we should make a little circuit by Roslin
Castle, and Hawthornden, and wished to set out soon after breakfast;
but young Mr Tytler came to shew Dr Johnson some essays which he had
written; and my great friend, who was exceedingly obliging when thus
consulted, was detained so long that it was, I believe, one o'clock
before we got into our post-chaise. I found that we should be too late
for dinner at Sir John Dalrymple's, to which we were engaged: but I
would by no means lose the pleasure of seeing my friend at
Hawthornden, of seeing SAM JOHNSON at the very spot where BEN JOHNSON
visited the learned and poetical Drummond.
We surveyed Roslin Castle, the romantick scene around it, and the
beautiful Gothick chapel, and dined and drank tea at the inn; after
which we proceeded to Hawthornden, and viewed the caves; and I all the
while had Rare Ben in my mind, and was pleased to think that this
place was now visited by another celebrated wit of England.
By this time 'the waning night was growing old', and we were yet
several miles from Sir John Dalrymple's. Dr Johnson did not seem much
troubled at our having treated the baronet with so little attention to
politeness; but when I talked of the grievous disappointment it must
have been to him that we did not come to the FEAST that he had
prepared for us (for he told us he had killed a seven-year-old sheep
on purpose), my friend got into a merry mood, and jocularly said, 'I
dare say, sir, he has been very sadly distressed. Nay, we do not know
but the consequence may have been fatal. Let me try to describe his
situation in his own historical style. I have as good a right to make
him think and talk, as he has to tell us how people thought and talked
a hundred years ago, of which he has no evidence. All history, so far
as it is not supported by contemporary evidence, is romance ... Stay
now... Let us consider!' He then (heartily laughing all the while)
proceeded in his imitation, I am sure to the following effect, though
now, at the distance of almost twelve years, I cannot pretend to
recollect all the precise words:
'Dinner being ready, he wondered that his guests were not yet come.
His wonder was soon succeeded by impatience. He walked about the room
in anxious agitation; sometimes he looked at his watch, sometimes he
looked out at the window with an eager gaze of expectation, and
revolved in his mind the various accidents of human life. His family
beheld him with mute concern. "Surely," said he, with a sigh, "they
will not fail me." The mind of man can bear a certain pressure; but
there is a point when it can bear no more. A rope was in his view, and
he died a Roman death.' [Footnote: 'Essex was at that time confined to
the same chamber of the Tower from which his father Lord Capel had
been led to death, and in which his wife's grandfather had inflicted a
voluntary death upon himself. When he saw his friend carried to what
he reckoned certain fate, their common enemies enjoying the spectacle,
and reflected that it was he who had forced Lord Howard upon the
confidence of Russel, he retired, and, by a ROMAN DEATH, put an end to
his misery.' Dalrymple's Memoirs of Great Britain and Ireland. Vol. I
p. 36.]
It was very late before we reached the seat of Sir John Dalrymple,
who, certainly with some reason was not in very good humour. Our
conversation was not brilliant. We supped, and went to bed in ancient
rooms, which would have better suited the climate of Italy in summer,
than that of Scotland in the month of November.
I recollect no conversation of the next day, worth preserving, except
one saying of Dr Johnson, which will be a valuable text for many
decent old dowagers, and other good company, in various circles to
descant upon. He said, 'I am sorry I have not learnt to play at cards.
It is very useful in life: it generates kindness, and consolidates
society.' He certainly could not mean deep play.
My friend and I thought we should be more comfortable at the inn at
Blackflelds, two miles farther on. We therefore went thither in the
evening, and he was very entertaining; but I have preserved nothing
but the pleasing remembrance, and his verses on George the Second and
Cibber, and his epitaph on Parnell, which he was then so good as to
dictate to me. We breakfasted together next morning, and then the
coach came, and took him up. He had, as one of his companions in it,
as far as Newcastle, the worthy and ingenious Dr Hope, botanical
professor at Edinburgh. Both Dr Johnson and he used to speak of their
good fortune in thus accidentally meeting; for they had much
instructive conversation, which is always a most valuable enjoyment,
and, when found where it is not expected, is peculiarly relished.
I have now completed my account of our tour to the Hebrides. I have
brought Dr Johnson down to Scotland, and seen him into the coach which
in a few hours carried him back into England. He said to me often,
that the time he spent in this tour was the pleasantest part of his
life, and asked me if I would lose the recollection of it for five
hundred pounds. I answered I would not; and he applauded my setting
such a value on an accession of new images in my mind.
Had it not been for me, I am persuaded Dr Johnson never would have
undertaken such a journey; and I must be allowed to assume some merit
from having been the cause that our language has been enriched with
such a book as that which he published on his return; a book which I
never read but with the utmost admiration, as I had such opportunities
of knowing from what very meagre materials it was composed.