Big Jupiter and tiny Ganymede were dwindling below by the time
Farradyne was finished at the control panel. He was hungry and he was
tired and so he was going to eat and hit the sack. He turned from the
board and saw her.
Norma Hannon sat in the computer's chair behind the board. Her hands
were folded calmly and her body was listless. Farradyne grunted
uncertainly because he was absolutely ignorant of her attitude, except
perhaps the feeling that she would enjoy bloody violence.
"Well?" he said.
"I caught the landing ramp as it came running in," she said quietly.
"Why?"
"You owe me a couple," she told him. "You're a lotus runner, you can
give me one. Simple as that."
"How do you figure?"
"You killed my brother," she said. There was more vigor in her tone as
the anger flared again.
"What makes you think--"
"Another thing," she interrupted, "I wanted to come along with you."
"Now see here--"
"Don't be stupid," she said sharply. "I've no passion for you. I'm a
love-lotus addict, remember?"
"Then why--?"
"Don't you give a damn for the lives of the people you sell those
things to? Run your dope and get your dough and skip before you have
to see the ruin you bring." The flare of anger was with her and she
wriggled in her chair with an animal relish that was close to ecstasy.
"But I can't--"
"Keep it up," she said. "You'll satisfy me, one way or another." She
eyed him critically. "You can't win, Farradyne. I've had my love lotus,
and all that is left of my feelings is heavy scar-tissue. Pleasure and
surprise are too weak to cut through; only a burning anger or a deep
hatred are strong enough to make me feel the thrill of a rising pulse.
I can get a lift out of hating you, but if you kissed me it would leave
me cold." She paused speculatively, "Now, would it? Come here and kiss
me."
"Why?"
"Because I hate your guts, Farradyne. Of all the people in the solar
system, I hate you the most. I can keep telling myself that you killed
Frank, and that does it. And I add that you are a love-lotus runner and
in some way part and parcel of this addiction of mine and that builds
it up. Now if you came over and kissed me, I'd let you, and the very
thought of being kissed and fondled by such a completely rotten reptile
as Farradyne makes me seethe with pleasant anger." Farradyne recoiled.
"Afraid?" she jeered, wriggling again. "You know, as a last thrill I
might kill you. But only as a last thrill, Farradyne. Because then
the chance to hate you actively would be over and finished and there
could be no more. So between hating your guts and getting an occasional
hellflower from the man I hate, making me hate you even more, I can
feel almost alive again."
* * * * *
Farradyne shook his head. This sort of talk was above and beyond him.
No matter what he said or did it was the wrong thing, which made it
right for Norma Hannon.
He did not know much about the love lotus, and that from hearsay. But
it did not include this sort of illogical talk. Seeing this end-result
actually made Farradyne feel better about the lot he had been cast
in. If Clevis was the kind of man who boiled inwardly from a sense of
outraged civic responsibility, Farradyne was beginning to feel somewhat
the same.
He looked at Norma Hannon more critically. She had been a good looking
woman not too long ago. She had probably laughed and danced and fended
off wolves and planned on marriage and a gang of happy children in a
pleasant home. Someone had cut her out of that future, and Farradyne
felt that he wanted to get the man's neck between his hands and
squeeze. He shook himself and wondered whether this addiction to hatred
and violence were catching.