The reader who has waded through my _Londinium_ will find that several
thousands of our vast community are of that profession which might
furnish matter for a very considerable number of pages--_Lawyers_; but
what can I say of their manners or customs, without incurring a charge
of fixing upon a _single class_, and of thus appearing particular in
praising or censuring? In this dilemma I have very fortunately met with
the "Long Vacation, by Jemmy Copywell, of Lincoln's-Inn;" which the
writer and the editor of the London Chronicle, _foreseeing_ the use I
should make of it, have kindly preserved for the present purpose.
"My Lord now quits his venerable seat,
The Six-clerk on his padlock turns the key,
From bus'ness hurries to his snug retreat,
And leaves vacation and the town to me.
Now all is hush'd, asleep the eye of Care,
And Lincoln's-Inn a solemn stillness holds,
Save where the Porter whistles o'er the Square;
Or Pompey barks, or basket-woman scolds.
Save, that from yonder pump, and dusty stair,
The moping shoe-black, and the laundry-maid,
Complain of such as from the town repair,
And leave their usual quarterage unpaid.
In those dull chambers, where old parchments lie,
And useless drafts, in many a mould'ring heap,
Each for parade to catch the client's eye;
Salkeld and Ventris in oblivion sleep.
In these dead hours, what now remains for me,
Still to the stool and to the desk confin'd:
Debarr'd from Autumn shades, and liberty,
Whose lips are soft as my Cleora's kind!"
* * * * *
"See Term appears to rule a passive world,
And awe the frighted rustick with its train
Of wigs and gowns, and bands. The jemmy clerk,
Close by his master's side, stands powder'd, while
His client at a distance cringes. Now,
Thou dear associate of my busy hours,
Whom (since Vacation in her sleepy lap
Lull'd me to indolence, Circæan queen,
Who poisons while she smiles) I have disdain'd,
Welcome to my embrace--once again
Thy presence let me hail--I greet thee well.
Now will I lead thee thro' the maze of law,
Perplexing and perplex'd. The knotty point,
And ev'ry quirk and quibble, will I shew:
And sometimes on huge folios shalt thou tread
With black-brow'd sections hideous. There, intent,
The puzzling clause shalt thou transcribe, until
Thy pilot sickens. Strait he shall revive,
And speed thy flight to equitable shores.
There shalt thou penetrate each deep recess,
And labour'd labyrinth of a Bill _in Canc._
Daring to face tautology. How thick
Thy stream will run, respondent to each note
Of dull interrogation! Quickly thence,
As time may prompt, and active fancy flow,
Thy font I'll purify, and turn its course
O'er fairy mountains and poetic vales.
Say! hadst thou rather the Demurrer's bar
Erect invincible, than waft my sighs
To my Cythera's bosom, and direct
Her eyes, those lamps of beauty, where to shine?
When Cupid's messenger, how dost thou fly,
Swifter almost than thought! and as I touch,
In honour of my love, the Sapphic lyre,
Methinks thy feather dances to the tune.
But, when I bid thee up the heavy hill,
Where Bus'ness sits, to travel, how thy pace
Wants quick'ning! this and that way dost thou writhe,
Convolv'd, uneasy with the tiresome march.
Hold up awhile--for sure is the reward
That waits on labour--Bear, oh! bear me thou
Thro' long succeeding covenants, from sense
However devious. Spread thy black'ning cloud
O'er this fair face of parchment--Haste, dispatch
This cumbrous load of things. On, quicker on,
And rid me of the bus'ness of the Term.
Then in reward for all thy service past
(Tho' gratitude be held a crime) thy plume
With gold shall blazon. Safe in silver case
Shalt thou recline, from vulgar ken remote,
Nor ever visit more the sons of care,
Unless to win respect, and be admir'd."
The conduct of both sexes, when mixed in what are generally termed
parties, can only be known by the person who actually views it. How
then am I (who had not received the breath of life in 1758) to draw
a faithful picture of the manners of that period? There is but one
way, quotation from contemporary moralists. The Craftsman says, "A
Frenchman has no more idea of a party of pleasure without ladies, than
an Englishman can entertain the least conception of enjoying himself
until they retreat. From those opposite dispositions it arises, that
the first introduces himself with a becoming unconcern into company,
and master of that _bienseance_ which distinguishes the gentleman, and
performs all offices of life without the least embarrassment; whereas
nothing is more common among us, than to find gentlemen of family and
fortune, who know nothing of the fair sex but what they have collected
from the most abandoned part of it, and can scarce reckon a virtuous
family within the scope of their whole acquaintance. It is not
unpleasant to observe one of this class, when chance or necessity has
brought him in a room with ladies of reputation. An awkward restraint
hangs about him, and he is almost afraid to speak, lest he should
inadvertently bolt out something, which, though extremely suitable
to the dialect of Covent-garden, would be grossly offensive to those
females who had not received their rudiments of education in that
seminary. The gloom that hangs over an English company while the ladies
remain, and the reciprocal restraint that each sex seems to be upon
the other, has been frequently a subject of ludicrous observation to
foreigners; and, indeed, the fair-ones themselves, _though natives, and
to the manner born_, frequently express astonishment, what mysteries
the men can have to celebrate, so opposite to those of the _bona dea_,
that no female must be present at the ceremony.
"At the same time that I condemn my countrymen for separating
themselves from those who have the art of refining every joy this
world affords; I am sorry to be obliged to observe, that the ladies
themselves do in some measure contribute to this great evil. The
scandalous practice so prevalent at present of giving up their whole
thoughts as well as time to cards, has made the company of women,
pardon the expression, extremely insipid to those who would willingly
consider them as rational creatures, and do not depend upon superior
skill in the game of whist for a subsistence. Is it to be imagined that
a man, whose mind is the least raised above the vulgar, will devote
that time which he may employ in conversing agreeably, either with the
dead or the living, to those assemblies, where no ideas enter beyond
the respective excellences of Garrick and Cibber; and the several
possible cases so profoundly calculated by the incomparable Mr. Hoyle?
Yet, from declining these places, I know many intimate friends who have
acquired the odious character of women-haters; though at the same time
they entertain the highest esteem for that amiable sex, and sincerely
regret that the tyrant Fashion has put it out of their power to enjoy
more of their company than a bare view of their persons, agitated by
the various and uncertain revolutions of Fortune's wheel."