O have you heard of Reuben Rammer,
The little fellow that _would_ stammer?
He talked at such a headlong rate
That at last he got through Stuttering Gate.
If fellows will talk madly fast,
They come to Stuttering Gate at last;
Some boys take warning and they pause,--
Not thus with Reuben Rammer ’twas.
He made a plunge, dashed past the bar.
He went on stuttering fast and far;
And what was the result? Why, now
He speaks no better than a cow!
He has been trying,--how absurd!--
For several months to speak a word;
His mouth works open like a door,
His arm goes like a semaphore!
He strives to say what he desires;
His jaws jolt up like jaws on wires;
But Reuben Rammer could not speak
When last I saw him this day week!
How awkward to be driven to use
A pencil to express your views,
Try to say, “Hallo, Johnny Brown!”
And yet be forced to write it down!
[Illustration]