_Monday, June 7th._--"Has the right hon. gentleman any experience
of Sunday School treats?" asked Mr. INSKIP after the MINISTER OF
TRANSPORT had announced that the railway companies, while conceding
reduced fares for these outings, could not extend the facilities to
more than one adult for every ten children. Sir ERIC GEDDES admitted
that his experience was "many years ago." There must have been "giants
in those days" among the Sunday School teachers if one of them was
able to "moderate the transports" of ten little ERICS.
The PRIME MINISTER had discarded the jaunty grey suit which he wore
last week, and in his "blacks" looked rather like a Scottish elder.
Nevertheless, when requested by Mr. MACCALLUM SCOTT to interpret the
articles of the "Auld Kirk" he declined to rush in where Mr. BONAR LAW
had feared to tread, and contented himself with the remark that this
was "a very dangerous question for a mere Southerner."
The negotiations with M. KRASSIN caused many inquiries. Mr. WILLIAM
SHAW, for example, sought a guarantee that the Bolshevists should not
be allowed to pay for the goods they might now order with the stores
that they had seized from His Majesty's Government. One is reminded
of PHIL MAY'S publican, who took the theft of his pewters
philosophically, but was moved to strong protest when the thief
brought them back in the form of bad half-crowns.
Coalitionist anxiety in regard to the PRIME MINISTER'S flirtation with
the Soviet emissary took shape in a motion for the adjournment moved
by Colonel GRETTON, who was shocked at the idea of negotiating with a
Government that depended on violence, and seconded by Admiral Sir R.
HALL, who doubted whether there was anything to be got out of
Russia. Mr. LLOYD GEORGE replied that, according to the evidence
of anti-Bolshevist refugees, there were quantities of grain and raw
materials awaiting export, while in regard to the general question he
poured much rhetorical contempt on the argument that we were never
to trade with a country that was misgoverned. What about Turkey?
What about Mexico? "You cannot always examine the records of your
customers."
Earlier in the day Sir A. GRIFFITH BOSCAWEN had moved the Second
Reading of the Agriculture Bill with so much vigour and enthusiasm
that one wondered why a Bill so vital to the national well-being
had not been introduced a little earlier. Later speakers were less
friendly. Mr. ACLAND declared that the measure was only necessary
because the Government could not keep the country out of international
difficulties. Captain FITZROY complained that the Bill did too
much for the tenant-farmer; whereas Mr. CAUTLEY described it as the
tenant-farmer's death-knell.
_Tuesday, June 8th._--The prevalent belief that Mr. CHURCHILL is
always spoiling for a fight, and is mainly responsible for all the
wars now going on in various parts of the world, is, I am ready to
believe, entirely erroneous. But there is no doubt of his desire to
"see red" so far as His Majesty's Army is concerned. The report
that the Government intended to spend three millions in putting our
soldiers back into the traditional scarlet inspired a multitude of
questions to the WAR SECRETARY this afternoon. Mr. CHURCHILL declared
it to be grossly exaggerated. Nevertheless, in political circles it
is believed that at the next election the Government can rely with
confidence upon the nurserymaids' vote.
[Illustration: MR. CHURCHILL SEES RED. ARMY UNIFORM (1) AS IT IS;
(2) AS IT WAS BEFORE THE WAR AND WILL BE AGAIN; AND (3) AS TO SUIT MR.
CHURCHILL'S MARLBOROUGH TRADITIONS, IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN.]
In resisting the proposal to make a levy on capital Mr. CHAMBERLAIN
covered the ground so exhaustively that, as Sir F. BANBURY
subsequently observed, the chief complaint to be made of his speech
was that it was not delivered three months before, when it would have
saved the money-market great anxiety and prevented much depreciation
of capital. For, according to the CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER, a levy
on war-wealth was never really practicable, and even if it had been
would have had no effect upon the amount of the floating debt, his
most pressing problem. But, if so, why not have said it at the start,
instead of setting up a Committee to try to find a solution for the
insoluble?
Mr. CHAMBERLAIN'S contention that by the income-tax and super-tax
wealth was already heavily conscripted would have perhaps been better
left without illustration. His case of the gentleman with L131,000 a
year, who after paying his taxes had only L42,500 to spend, left Mr.
STEPHEN WALSH quite cold. Sir DONALD MACLEAN, by some odd process of
reasoning, came to the conclusion that the Government's decision would
be welcomed by all the enemies of capital, and announced his intention
of joining the Labour Party in the Lobby.
_Wednesday, June 9th._--The Air Navigation Bill passed through
the usually serene atmosphere of the Upper House, but not without
encountering a certain number of "bumps." Lord MONTAGU, calling to
mind the nursery saying, "if pigs could fly," was alarmed by the
possibility that "air-hogs" might interfere with the amenities, and
might even endanger the lives, of earth-bound citizens by flying over
them at unduly low altitudes. He suggested two thousand feet as a
minimum. Lord LONDONDERRY resisted the Amendment on the ground that it
was difficult to gauge the height at which aircraft flew, and thought
few airmen would care to risk the penalties provided in the Bill--a
fine of two hundred pounds and six months' imprisonment--by indulging
a taste for forbidden stunts.
At first blush you would hardly think it necessary to include the City
Corporation among the local authorities who may establish aerodromes.
The "one square mile" does not offer much encouragement to the airman
who wishes to make a safe landing. But you never can tell what may
happen. The "Old Lady of Threadneedle Street," who is said to be
contemplating an upward extension of her premises, may perhaps welcome
aeroplanes to her hospitable roof, and thereby give a new significance
to "banking" in the aviator's vocabulary.
In the Commons the anomalous position produced by President WILSON's
undertaking to delimit the boundaries of Armenia, although his country
has refused to accept the mandate for its administration, elicited
from Mr. BONAR LAW the curious explanation that the invitation to
delimit was addressed to Mr. WILSON "in his personal capacity." But
when Mr. BOTTOMLEY sought further light on this phrase Mr. LAW was
unable or unwilling to supply it. He did, however, vouchsafe the
information that, whatever America might do, this country would not
add Armenia to its existing share of "the white man's burden."
[Illustration: _Resourceful Spokesman of Picnic Party (anticipating
trouble)._ "DELIGHTED YOU WERE ABLE TO TURN UP! YOU DON'T MIND OUR
HAVING STARTED WITHOUT YOU?"]
_Thursday, June 10th._--It seems a pity that since Count DE SALIS left
Montenegro and made his famous secret report the British Government
has had no representative in that distracted country. In the absence
of official information the most diverse descriptions of its present
state gain currency. According to Lord SYDENHAM the Serbians, who wish
to incorporate Montenegro in the new Jugo-Slavia, are taking every
step to intimidate their opponents (described as ninety per cent.
of the population) and have incidentally imprisoned a number of
ex-Ministers. Lord CURZON agreed that this was quite probable,
inasmuch as ex-Ministers bore a considerable ratio to the whole
population, but otherwise challenged Lord SYDENHAM's allegations. His
own information (source not named) was that the Montenegrin majority
was in favour of Yugo-Slav union. The debate confirmed the impression
that all statements emanating from the Black Mountain should be taken
_cum grano_ DE SALIS.
In the Commons Mr. BONAR LAW was taking a day off, and, as usually
happens when the PRIME MINISTER is in charge, "a certain liveliness"
prevailed. The renewed offensive of General WRANGEL incited the
Bolshevist sympathisers to start one on their own account. An attempt
to move the adjournment was nipped in the bud by the SPEAKER. Colonel
WEDGWOOD made a gallant effort to usurp the functions of the Chair
by declaring that the matter was both definite and urgent; but Mr.
LOWTHER replied that unfortunately the decision rested with him and
not with the hon. Member.
The House then settled down to business, and gave a Third Reading to
two Bills, and a Second Reading to five others. On the Women, Young
Persons and Children (Employment) Bill Mr. BARNES took exception, not
unnaturally, to a clause permitting "the employment of women and
young persons in shifts up to ten o'clock at night," and Major BAIRD
undertook to consider the withdrawal of this equivocal piece of
draftsmanship.
* * * * *
"'The time has come,' the walrus said,
'To speak of many things:
Of shoes and ships and sealing-wax,
Of cabbages and kings.'--(O. Henry)."
_Free State Paper._
Where did LEWIS CARROLL? Apparently not in the Free State.
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Curate_ (_discussing the drink question_). "MIND YOU,
I'M FOND OF A GLASS OF BEER. MYSELF, BUT I CAN'T INDULGE. IT DOESN'T
AGREE WITH ME."
_Rustic_ (_sympathetically_). "DEAR, DEAR! AIN'T THERE NO CURE?"]
* * * * *