"TYNDALL, GRIMTHORPE, and SYMONS, F.R.S., are entirely right," continued
old Length-without-breadth; "A Lightning Conductor which does not
conduct lightning, like a Leader who cannot lead, or a Follower who will
not follow, is worse than a nullity, it is a nuisance and a danger."
"Quite so," I rejoined, grasping eagerly at something which seemed
definite and comparatively relevant.
"Lightning Conductors are, in their way, as essential as Law and Order.
But as TYNDALL says, in one case, and as I should say in the latter, all
depends upon quality, efficiency, accurate adaptation to ends. Would you
say, Oh! never mind about their quality or fitness, the first duty of
the Executive is to maintain its Lightning Conductors?"
I replied that it really had not occurred to me to make any such
statement, but I dared say I should.
"The _Times_ said of the 'Report of the Lightning Rod Conference,' 'The
book is one of the highest practical value, and all who are responsible
for the preservation of public buildings should endeavour to render
themselves familiar with the contents.' How true! That's my find old
temperate 'Thunderer.'"
"Who are you who are so down upon TYNDALL?" I asked.
"_I_ down on the learned Professor?" retorted my companion, shifting,
dislimning, and elongating singularly. "On the contrary, I am grateful
to him for being 'down upon' the incompetent architects and careless
surveyors who would make of me a pitiful sham. Only" (here another
phantasmagorical shift) "when he angrily declares a certain prominent
political personage, who shall be nameless, to be also 'a pitiful sham,'
why, then I think, like so many other and unscientific 'writers to the
papers,' he needs the Conductor of cool Common Sense to divert, carry
off, and disperse his too furious fulminations."
"Then _you_ are only a Lightning Conductor, after all?" I queried, with
some sense of being disappointed, not to say "sold."
"_Only!_" retorted my spectral and shifting visitant, again shifting
spectrally. "Why, I'm thinking of writing, for the _Nineteenth Century_,
an article on 'Political Lightning Conductors,' which, I rather flatter
myself, will comprehend everything, convince everybody, and conciliate
even Professor TYNDALL. If you like I will read, from the
advance-sheets, a few passages which----"
But here I roused myself to determined resistance, and--awoke.
* * * * *
On the Wing.
In getting fair hold of the Coburg, Prince FERDINAND,
Bulgaria palpably thought she'd a "bird in hand,"
But the Prince and the Bulgars, when put to the push,
Will probably wish the "bird" back in the bush.
* * * * *