(_New Version, as Sung by the Comte de Paris._)
Here I come in complete Constitutional coat
(That's English, you know; quite English, you know):
The type of true Monarchy based on the Vote.
(That's English, you know; quite English, you know.)
To have a legitimate King on the throne,
To make all the Country's best interests his own,
Great, grand, patriotic, but _not_ overgrown
(That's English, you know; quite English, you know).
_Chorus._
Oh, the things that you see and the things that you hear
Are English, you know; quite English, you know.
My mind, like my last Manifesto, 'tis clear,
Is English, quite English, you know!
Just now a great calm meets the national eyes
(That's English, you know; quite English, you know).
But imminent perils it cannot disguise
(That's English, you know; quite English, you know).
We have deserved well of Conservative France;
A Monarchy only her bliss can enhance;
And now of its nature I'll give you a glance
(That's English, you know; quite English, you know).
_Chorus._
The things will much please which you're going to hear
(They're English, you know; quite English, you know).
Legality banished must soon reappear
(That's English, quite English, you know).
What one Congress does can't another undo?
(That's English, you know; quite English, you know.)
The _Eternal_ Republic has gone all askew
(Not English, you know; not English you know).
'Twill presently get quite incurably queer,
And _then_ will the Monarchy promptly appear.
I fancy myself that the moment is near.
(That's English, you know; quite English, you know.)
_Chorus._
Mark the things which you see and the things which you hear
(That's English, you know; quite English, you know).
There's nothing that's solid or stable, I fear
(That's English, quite English, you know.)
Direct, universal, free suffrage, my friends,
(That's English, you know; quite English, you know).
Will vote--well for Me, and all trouble then ends
(That's English, you know; quite English, you know).
The King, with the Chamber's concurrence, will rule.
The Deputies then can no more play the fool,--
CLEMENCEAU, BOULANGER, and men of that school
(That's English, you know; quite English, you know).
_Chorus._
Heed the things which you see and the things you now hear
(That's English, you know; quite English, you know).
Economy, Order, and Justice _sans_ fear!
(They're English; quite English, you know!)
The Soldier and Citizen then will agree,
(That's English, you know; quite English, you know,)
The Press and the Priesthood alike will be free
(That's English, you know; quite English, you know).
Then will France to her ancient pre-eminence rise;
The German will watch her with reverent eyes;
All the Powers rush forward to be her allies
(_That's_ French, you know; _very_ French, you know).
_Chorus._
These things you shall see which you now only hear
(That's certain you know; quite certain, you know):
If only you'll let my new System appear.
(That's English; quite English, you know!)
Constitutional principles, these, my good friend!
(They're English, you know; quite English, you know)--
They Conservative needs and Equality blend,
(That's English, you know; quite English, you know).
_Do_ at my new Royal rig-out take a glance!
In this to the front I shall proudly advance,
As the true King of all, and first Servant of France,
(But English, you know; quite English, you know).
_Chorus._
The things which I say it is time you should hear
(They're English, you know; quite English, you know).
The principles these to make France without peer
(Though they're English; quite English, you know)!
* * * * *
Illustration: THE STATE OF THE GAME.
_Lady Customer._ "HOW MUCH ARE GROUSE TO-DAY, MR. JIBLETS?"
_Poulterer._ "TWELVE SHILLINGS A BRACE, MA'AM. SHALL I SEND THEM----"
_Lady Customer._ "NO, YOU NEED NOT SEND THEM. MY HUSBAND'S OUT
GROUSE-SHOOTING, AND HE'LL CALL FOR THEM AS HE COMES HOME!!"
* * * * *
Aphorism.
(_By a Snubbed Poet._)
"A Thing of Beauty is a joy for ever;"
Except a pretty girl, who thinks she's clever.
* * * * *
NOMENCLATURE.--Somebody calls the "Thunderer's" daily fulmination
against Mr. GLADSTONE an _ignis fatuus_, or foolish fire of Party
journalism. Would not "Whip poor Will" be a more suitable title?
* * * * *
MEM. FROM DERBYSHIRE.--The real "Lovers' Leap"--Marriage.
* * * * *