WE APPEAR IN A NEW CHARACTER
It seemed that the man and woman in the middle of the road were the
ostler and chambermaid to the inn, who had just been convicted of a
grave misdemeanour. The language in which it was designated and
described by the host and hostess, energetic in form and warm in colour
as it was, could not, I fear, be reproduced in this chaste narrative.
It must suffice to say that the guilty persons had been discharged at a
moment's notice. They were now resenting this extreme course from
their station in the middle of the road; and whatever were the colours
in which their own conduct had been depicted, it is greatly to be
doubted, whether they could possibly have been more vivid than those
applied to that of their late master and mistress.
To these people in the midst of their altercation came Cynthia and I.
Almost at the same instant a similar thought entered the minds of us
both. Why should we not apply for these vacated situations? We had
had no experience of such duties, it was true. Our lot indeed would be
arduous. But we should at least be provided with a shelter for the
night; and we could relinquish our unaccustomed tasks the moment we
might feel ourselves better served by doing so. A brief whispered
conference as we stood apart in the road, and we decided to make
application. Never for an instant did the idea cross our minds that
such a highly superior ostler and chambermaid could be anything but
acceptable to the good people of the inn. Yet when taking our courage
in our hands we came up to the door, and I put forward my suggestion
with a becoming modesty, the landlord seemed by no means so eager to
close with this tempting offer as I had fully expected he would be.
"Have you a character?" says he sharply.
"Oh yes, I think I have a very good character," says I.
"Humph," says he, "you think you have a very good character, do you?
Well, my lad, I should like to see it."
"Well," says I, "a character is not very easy to see, unless there is
something to show it by."
"I am quite aware of that," says the landlord sharply. "However, we
will leave this precious pair and go inside, light a candle and look at
it."
With that, man and wife led the way within, and we followed meekly,
leaving the discharged couple in the road to pursue their own devices.
In what way a candle would enable them to discern our characters we
could not tell, although we were half inclined to think that the common
phrase "to hold a candle to" might have in fact a more literal
significance than any we had dreamt of. The inn kitchen presented a
rosy fire and a cosy appearance. The sight of it seemed to increase
the sense of our unhappy plight, and I think we both anxiously awaited
the landlord's judgment, for it was impossible to contemplate being
turned out into the night again with equanimity.
"Now then, my lad," says the landlord, "I will thank you to let me see
your character."
"I do not know how I can show you my character, sir," I ventured to
say, "until I have been some little time in your service."
"Come, that won't do, my lad," says the landlord, "I must either see
your character or out you go."
Filled with misgiving, I was about to ask the landlord for an
explanation of this odd demand, when it suddenly occurred to me that he
wished to have it in writing, like any other master who was about to
engage a servant. I had to confess that I had not a character.
"Ha," says the landlord keenly. "Then why did you leave your last
place?"
I had to confess that I had never had a last place.
"You don't mean to tell me," says the landlord, "that you have had the
impidence to apply to me when you have never had no experience of the
dooties?"
I had to explain that such was the case, but earnestly stated that
whatever I might lack in knowledge I would certainly make up in zeal.
For all that it was like to have gone hard with our engagement had it
not been for the intervention of the landlord's wife. It may have been
that vanity which is inseparable from the male character, but it did
seem to me that from the first the good woman had been disposed to
regard me with favour.
"Well, Joseph," says she at this critical moment, "he is a very proper
looking young man, I am sure, and as honest looking as the day. I am
sure he will do his best if he says he will. Besides, they are man and
wife, which is a very main thing."
This reference to the pair of us had the effect of diverting the worthy
landlord's attention to Cynthia. No sooner did he observe her than his
objections became sensibly less formidable than they had been. And I
am afraid it was my little madam's _beaux yeux_ and not our
qualifications and accomplishments that got us the situation. Yet even
when we had been duly engaged at four pounds a year and our keep, there
was like to have been a hitch. The landlady's closer inspection of us
revealed the fact that although I might, as she had been good enough to
say be "a very proper-looking young man," Cynthia in her opinion was
vastly too fine-looking a young woman. She even went the length of
describing her as "a blue-eyed slut." Whatever the force of her
objections, however, as she herself was entirely responsible for the
engagement of the ostler, she could hardly have gainsaid, much as she
could have wished to have done so, her husband's right to engage the
chambermaid.
It was in this singular but fortunate fashion then that we found
ourselves once more provided for. The inn being on a coaching road was
not such a mean one as we had at first supposed. The host and hostess
of it did not seem to be such bad people either, and as they did not
except to have company in the place until later in the evening, and
observing that our travels had left us in a sorry condition, they
allowed us to make a rough meal, and afterwards to sit by the fire a
bit.
It went to my heart that my poor little companion should be brought to
this pass, but she acquiesced in it so cheerfully, and with such a
merry sense of the occasion as did a great deal to diminish my concern.
She was indeed a courageous little creature; and there was something
about her new duties that seemed to amuse her, for she went about them
with a humorous zest as though she was laughing at herself while she
did so. All the same we were genuinely glad when at last the hour came
for our retirement. We were thoroughly wearied and footsore too.
We rose in much better heart betimes on the following morning, and set
about our unaccustomed tasks with a vigour that compensated for our
inexperience. After all, they were of an elementary character, not at
all difficult to learn. To be sure it was more than a little strange
at first to find ourselves engaged in such lowly capacities, but when
after an hour or two the singularity had worn off, they became by no
means irksome. Indeed, the novelty of the thing might be said to pass
the time pleasantly. But as it happened, we were to be startled out of
these pursuits in the rudest manner.
It chanced that about noon I had led the horse of a gentleman, who had
passed the previous night at the inn, out of the stable round to the
front door. And while I was holding its head against its master's
departure there arose a clatter of wheels on the road. In a minute, or
less, a chaise drew up at the door. No glance was needed at its
occupants to tell me to whom it belonged. The peculiar shape and
colour were quite sufficient to advertise me of that matter. It was
the Duke in person, accompanied by the indefatigable Mr. Waring. His
Grace lost no time in relinquishing the reins, and together they
stepped from the vehicle to ease their legs somewhat, and entered the
inn in quest of any little refreshment it might afford them. Happily
neither paid much heed to me. Indeed beyond an order to give an eye to
the horses and to fetch them a drink of water, I claimed no share of
their attention.
No sooner had they entered the inn, however, than in the midst of some
self-congratulation on my present impunity from discovery, I was beset
with a sudden fear of Cynthia. What more likely than that they should
directly encounter her, unless she could be apprised of their
proximity? She must be warned at all costs. Fortunately at that
moment the owner of the horse, whose head I was holding, appeared and
relieved me of its charge. Thereupon I hastily entered to advise
Cynthia of her danger. Yet I did so only to find that the worst had
happened already.
From the parlour the Duke's voice issued in a tremendous key. There
could be no doubt that it was as I feared. I lost no time in hastening
to my poor little one's assistance, if only to divert a portion of her
father's wrath. The scene that confronted me when I entered the inn
parlour would not by any means have been devoid of a certain
whimsicality had it not had so sinister a bearing on our fortunes. The
innkeeper and his wife stood aghast. Mr. Waring was languidly helping
himself to a pinch of snuff with an air of the frankest amusement.
Cynthia was in a dreadful taking, and weeping bitterly. The Duke, her
father, was hopping about like a pea on a hot plate, and threatening to
go off any minute into an apoplexy. At my appearance he very nearly
did so.
"You villain," he squeaked, shaking his fist in my face, and dancing
round me, "you impudent, unblushing villain! Have I routed you out at
last? Have I run you to earth, you damned young scoundrel? By God,
you shall pay a price; yes, you shall, so help me. Your purse may be
bankrupt, but you shall pay this account with the last drop of blood
that is left in your black heart. Pass your box, Humphrey."
Mr. Waring passed his box with a grim chuckling countenance; and his
Grace paused in the midst of his violent denunciation to make use of
it. It appeared to lend him succour, whereon he continued with renewed
vigour. I would not like to set down here the number of hard names he
put his tongue to, every one of which was levelled at my devoted head.
To be sure I had used him pretty badly, but I fear that I was not in
the least repentant. I listened to his passionate abuse which he
delivered in a curious senile staccato, with an amusement possibly as
great as Mr. Waring's own, and certainly more cynical. I don't think
at the moment I cared much about the pass I was come to. I was utterly
desperate.
Poor little Cynthia, bitterly frightened as she was, and despite the
tears that streamed from her eyes, was still very brave. She could not
bear to hear my name degraded in this manner. In the face of her
father's wrath she came to my side and took my hand, and I loved her
the better for the deed.
"Landlord," says his Grace, "don't stand gaping there like a pig on a
spit. Just have the goodness to bestir yourself, and fetch the
constables. This young scoundrel shall not go out of my sight, except
in custody. The law hath wanted him long, and as I'm a person, it
shall have him, too."
It was somewhere about this point in the scene, I think, that a bold
expedient came unexpectedly into my head. It had a full measure of
audacity befitting the occasion. If only we could make a dash out into
the road and gain possession of the chaise one short instant before our
enemies, all was not lost even now. It was truly a remote chance, yet
it was the only one that offered. Therefore no sooner had it entered
my mind than I set my will to work to put it in practice. With this
end in view I gave a furtive eye to the position of the parlour door.
I found myself even now the nearest person to it. I must contrive to
get still nearer and acquaint Cynthia of the nature of my desperate
design without arousing the suspicions of our furious papa or the
languid Mr. Waring.
As the landlord stood hesitating as to which course he should adopt,
the Duke directed some attention to him, and gave him freely of his
orders. It was while our papa was thus engaged that I bent down to
Cynthia and whispered my audacious plan into her ear. From that moment
we turned all our energies towards getting closer to the door without
being suspected of doing so. Every step we could encroach might
presently be of the greatest possible service. Unfortunately the fact
that the parlour-door was closed was a great barrier. We should not
have time to open it and get away.
The Duke having at last prevailed on the landlord to go for the
constables, it was with inexpressible anxiety that we watched him go
out of the room. If he would but leave that door unlatched we had just
a chance of getting to the chaise in time. With a thrill of
satisfaction we saw him go out, leaving the door wide open behind him.
The Duke and Mr. Waring were apart at the other end of the room, quite
oblivious of any scheme we might be evolving. They had forgotten
apparently that a chaise and a pair of horses stood outside the door.
Carefully noting the actions of our enemies and the degree of attention
they thought fit to pay us, we sidled nearer and nearer, an inch at a
time, to the parlour-door. And at last, having concluded that the
landlord had got well clear of the premises, and was therefore not
likely to present any obstacle, I decided that now or never was the
moment. I whispered my last brief instructions to my little companion;
and then taking our careless captors entirely unawares, she darted out
through the door, and I as swiftly followed her.
The scheme had been thoroughly matured in my mind. To allow Cynthia
time to run on and gain access to the chaise, a proper control of the
reins, and to set the horses in motion, I did not follow her at once,
but preferred to bang the parlour-door in the face of our pursuers, and
clung with both hands to the handle that they might be impeded as much
as possible. Once aroused to their danger, they lost not a second of
time in besieging the door, but with my back firmly planted against the
opposite wall I was quite a match for them in the matter of hauling. I
was able to detain them the wrong side therefore, until a cry from
Cynthia informed me that she had fulfilled her part of the business.
Thereon I suddenly released the handle, and our enemies found
themselves so unexpectedly in possession, that they fell back one upon
another, whilst I ran forth to the chaise.
It was already starting briskly down the road. I was able to overtake
it and get in by the time the Duke and his friend showed at the door;
and though they ran after us for a few yards they soon came to the
conclusion, with the horses fleeing faster and faster, that immediate
pursuit was hopeless, and relinquished the chase accordingly. We had
not gone very far, however, when we overtook the landlord on his way to
fetch the constables. That puzzled fellow made no effort to detain us,
and in that I think he was well advised.
It was some little time before we could get the excitement engendered
by these events out of our minds, and realize that we were still in
possession of our freedom, that most cherished thing, for which we were
doing and suffering so much. We had a chaise and a pair of horses too.
But I do not think that any two persons could have looked so little in
their places in such a handsome vehicle. The appearance we presented
must have been highly ridiculous. Neither of us had cloaks or
coverings for our heads, whilst I, in the pursuit of my late
occupation, had divested myself of my coat in addition. We were thus
in absurd contrast to our fine manner of procedure. Having put an
honest mile between us and the inn, we began to examine the contents of
the chaise with an eager curiosity, not unmingled with anxiety. The
first articles to rejoice our hearts were several thick rugs, which we
lost no time in putting to use. There was a case of pistols, too; and
over and above these things we discovered to our supreme satisfaction a
couple of travelling valises, the property of Mr. Waring and his Grace.
Our straits were much too dire for our minds to be greatly oppressed
with the morality of things. To us it seemed as though these
travelling valises had come from heaven. Robinson Crusoe on his island
could not have had a devouter thankfulness when he recovered the
articles from the wreck than we had in the contemplation of our
treasure. We experienced an exquisite curiosity as we speculated on
what they might contain. However, we deferred the opening of them,
partly because the time and place would for the present be ill-chosen
(we must put many more miles between us and the enemy before we could
venture to draw rein) and again, because we desired, like a pair of
children, to draw out to the outmost the pains of our delicious
expectation.