"EE cawnt gow back, 'cause they locks the gates,"
"Well, can we go forward, then?"--"Noa, ee cawnt, 'cause the roads are
under water;"
"EE cawnt gow back, 'cause they locks the gates," said a bumpkin on the
road-side to a Cockney-party in a one-horse chaise.
"Well, can we go forward, then?" demanded the anxious and wearied
traveller.
"Noa, ee cawnt, 'cause the roads are under water;" replied the joskin,
with a grin.
This was certainly a situation more ridiculous than interesting; and I
smiled when I heard the story told, little suspecting that Fortune would
one day throw me into a similar dilemina--so blindly do we mortals hug
ourselves in the supposed security of our tact and foresight.
"How d'ye do, Mr. Andrew," said Mr. Crobble, when he had seated himself,
and sufficiently inflated his lungs, after the fatiguing operation of
mounting the stairs.
"Where's Timmis?--tell him I want a word with him."
I quickly summoned my patron, and followed him into the office.
"Well, old puff and blow!" exclaimed Mr. Timmis, with his usual
familiarity.
"What's in the wind? Want to sell out? The fives are fallen three per
cent. since Friday. All the 'Change is as busy as the devil in a high
wind."
"No--no more dabbling, Timmis," replied Mr. Crobble; "I lost a cool
hundred last account; I want a word in private with you"--and he glanced
towards me; upon which I seized my hat, and took up my position at my old
post on the landing. How were my feelings altered since I first loitered
there, listening to the marvels of poor Matthew!
I was lost in a pleasant reverie, when the sharp voice of Mr. Timmis
recalled me.
"Andrew," said he, "my friend Crobble wants a clerk, and has cast his eye
upon you. What do you say?"
I scarcely knew what to say. On one side stood my master, to whom I
really owed so much--on the other his friend, who offered me a promotion,
which I felt, on many accounts, was most attractive. "I should have no
objection," I replied, "but great pleasure in serving Mr. Crobble,
sir--but--I have received so many favours from you, that I'm afraid I
might seem ungrateful."
The good-natured Mr. Wallis happily stepped in at this moment to my
relief.
"Nonsense," replied Mr. Timmis; "the stock is delivered to the highest
bidder; here Crobble backs eighteen shillings a week against my
half-a-crown-take him."
I still felt some hesitation, although it was evident, from his
expression, that Mr. Timmis valued the servant much less than the servant
valued the master.
"Only look here, Wally," cried he; "here stands Andrew, like an ass
between two bundles of hay."
"Rather like a bundle of hay between two asses, I think," replied Mr.
Wallis; and good-naturedly tapping me on the shoulder, he continued--"
accept Mr. Crobble's offer, Master Andrew: you're much too good for
Timmis--he can soon get a grubby half-crown boy--but you may wait a long
time for such an eligible offer."
"Eighteen shillings a week," said Mr. Crobble; who, I must confess,
without any particular stretch of self-esteem, appeared anxious to engage
me--, "but I shall want security."
That word "security" fell like an avalanche on my mounting spirit, and
cast me headlong down the imaginary ascent my busy thoughts had climbed
to!
"Five hundred pounds," continued Mr. Crobble; "d'ye think--have you any
friends?"
"None, sir; my father is a poor man, and quite unable." I could scarcely
speak--like the driver of the one-horse chaise, I could neither advance
nor recede.
"The father," said Mr. Timmis, "is only a poor shoe-maker--a good fellow
tho'--an excellent fit!"
"You mean to say," cried Mr. Wallis, "it were bootless to seek security
of the shoe-maker."
A laugh ensued; and, notwithstanding my agitated feelings, I could not
forbear being tickled by Mr. Wallis's humour, and joining in the
merriment.
This sally gave a most favourable turn to the discussion. "Come," said
Mr. Wallis, "I'll stand two hundred and fifty--and you, Timmis, must go
the other."
"No; d___ me, he may bolt with the cash-box, and let me in, perhaps,"
exclaimed Mr. Timmis. I burst into tears; I felt, that from my long and
faithful services, I deserved a better opinion--although I had no right
to expect so great a favour.
Rude as he was, he felt some compunction at having wounded my feelings;
and swore a round oath that he was only joking, and I was a fool. "Did I
think, for a moment, that Wally should get the start of him; no--I was an
honest chap, and he'd put his fist to double the amount to serve me;" and
then bade me "sit to the books," and make all square before I cut my
stick: and thus happily concluded this most momentous change in my
circumstances.