PUNCH.--That's something like. How the graces of the Palais Royal will
rejoice! There is a peculiar fitness in this appointment; for is not his
Lordship son-in-law to old Goldsmid, whilom editor of the _Anti-Galliean_,
and for many years an honoured and withal notorious resident of Paris! Of
course BEN D'ISRAELI, his Lordship's friend, will get a slice of
secretaryship--may be allowed to nib a state quill, if he must not use one.
Well, go on.
PEEL.--That's all at present. How d'ye think they read?
PUNCH.--Very glibly--like the summary of a Newgate Calendar. But the truth
is, I think we want a little new blood in the next Cabinet.
PEEL.--New blood! Explain, dear Punch.
PUNCH.--Why, most of your people are, unfortunately, tried men. Hence, the
people, knowing them as well as they know the contents of their own
breeches' pockets, may not be gulled so long as if governed by those whose
tricks--I mean, whose capabilities--have not been so strongly marked. With
new men we have always the benefit of hope; and with hope much swindling
may be perpetrated.
PEEL.--But my Cabinet contains known men.
PUNCH.--That's it; knowing _them_, hope is out of the question. Now, with
Ministers less notorious, the Cabinet farce might last a little longer. I
have put down a few names; here they are on a blank leaf of _Jack
Sheppard_.
PEEL.--A presentation copy, I perceive.
PUNCH.---Why, it isn't generally known; but all the morality, the wit, and
the pathos, of that work I wrote myself.
PEEL.--And I must say they're quite worthy of you.
PUNCH.--I know it; but read--read Punch's Cabinet.
PEEL (_reads_).--"First Lord of the Treasury, and Chancellor of the
Exchequer--the _Wizard of the North_."
PUNCH.--And, wizard as he is, he'll have his work to do. He, however,
promises that every four-pound loaf shall henceforth go as far as eight, so
that no alteration of the Corn Laws shall be necessary. He furthermore
promises to plant Blackheath and Government waste grounds with sugar-cane,
and to raise the penny post stamp to fourpence, in so delicate a manner
that nobody shall feel the extra expense. As for the opposition, what will
a man care for even the speeches of a Sibthorp--who can catch any number of
bullets, any weight of lead, in his teeth? Go on.