FAMILY CHARACTERISTICS AND SMALL TOWN LIFE
Those sections of rural New England which have possessed natural
advantages sufficient to restrain the young people from their common
propensity to emigrate to the cities or to the western states, are rich
in family legends which show that frequent persistence of family traits
which is exceptionally pronounced in the six little states of the
northeast.
* * * * *
A well-known family had occupied a prominent position in a certain New
England town for several generations. During all this period certain
pronounced characteristics had afforded amusement to the people of the
community, especially those of the father and daughter whose mental
processes are illustrated by the following narratives.
The Young Man Who Had “Speerit”
The father had reached quite an advanced age, and although very
amiable, had become exceedingly economical. There were people who
would have said he was stingy--a common enough accusation against the
aged. Besides his commodious house in town, he had a small farm and
every spring he looked about and engaged some young man to undertake
the double rôle of handy man around the house and farm laborer. The boy
who took that job could be always sure of steady occupation; he was
expected to rise early and work late.
One spring the old gentleman succeeded in securing a perfect treasure.
A boy of eighteen years or thereabouts was engaged from a distant farm
and came to town prepared to enjoy, what was to him, metropolitan
life. A naturally willing worker, he soon found that there was little
opportunity for recreation, at least during the daylight hours. In time
he gradually made acquaintances who soon confirmed his own opinion
that he was being imposed upon. He was still in awe of his employer,
however, but finally an occasion developed when he could restrain
himself no longer. On a very hot evening, after a hard day on the
farm, he was directed to go into the wood shed and saw up some very
dry fire wood of various uneven lengths. This was too much, and with
a fluency which absolutely astonished both himself and listener, he
proceeded to tell his employer just what he thought of his stinginess.
For several minutes the old man stood perfectly amazed, the boy
meantime hastening to his room, where he put on his best clothes and
went up town. He naturally expected to be discharged, but such was
not the case. After thinking the matter over a few minutes, the old
man began to chuckle to himself, after which he shuffled off up the
street, telling one citizen after another of his recent extraordinary
experience.
“I like that boy,” said he. “He has speerit.”
The Lady Who Secured a Wardrobe
This old gentleman had a wife who was in delicate health and a
middle-aged daughter who was not delicate. She was a very capable
housekeeper and as a rule not socially inclined. She stayed at home
month after month, year after year and finally her married sister and
sister-in-law, neither of whom were reluctant to point out the path
of duty to their amiable parent, insisted that it was only right that
“Sally” should have a vacation. They pictured out the need of change
of scene, incidentally laying particular stress upon the even greater
need of a replenished wardrobe. The old gentleman was very reluctant
to yield to their persuasions, especially in the matter of the
appropriation for clothes. It gave him a pang to pass over the money
necessary for the outfit, but under such effective concurrent pressure,
the outcome can easily be imagined. He finally resigned himself to the
inevitable, wrote a handsome check and costumers were put to work.
While these numerous family discussions were going on, “Sally” had
seemed to show but a languid interest. This was attributed by her
sisters to the fact that she had stayed at home so long that she didn’t
want to go anywhere else. In the light of subsequent events it would
appear that their diagnosis was correct.
After the first pangs of separation from the cash, the father began to
take an extraordinary interest in the outfitting process. He passed his
judgment on the different fabrics, the styles into which they were to
be made up and seemed to be looking forward with anticipation to the
time when “Sally” would start out on her vacation trip with a wardrobe
equal to that of any woman who had left that town in a long time.
Finally the outfit of new dresses, coats, hats, and other essential
articles was complete and the day was set when the vacation should
begin.
According to the plans, Sally was to go to New York to meet a family
friend, visiting other points of interest as her impulses might
suggest. The day of departure arrived, and Sally’s father was alive
to the situation. A maid had been secured for a certain limited
engagement and she was called early and told to prepare breakfast.
The old man knocked vigorously on Sally’s door to make sure that she
didn’t oversleep. Breakfast was ready and Sally did not appear. Her
father began to be anxious lest she miss the train. He sent the maid
up to knock at the door, who returned saying that Sally had answered,
“All right.” Still she did not appear and it began to be certain that
if she went that day she would have to go on a later train. Her father
was indignant at her unwarranted indolence. He went up stairs and
pounded once more on Sally’s door, which she opened, clad in her usual
kitchen apparel. The old man demanded an explanation which was promptly
forthcoming.
“I didn’t have the slightest intention of going to New York any of the
time, but I knew that the only way I could ever get you to furnish me
with any decent clothes, was to pretend I was going. Now I have the
clothes and I am glad to have them, and I am going to stay at home and
you can pay up that maid and let her go about her business.”
It must be regretfully stated that no record has been preserved of what
Sally’s feminine relatives had to say to her.
In certain social circles astonishing heraldic pedigrees make their
appearance, heretofore all unsuspected by the average list of
acquaintances, but there can be no camouflage about family pedigrees
in a strictly rural neighborhood. An eminent financier in a New
England town had a relative who did not add any prestige to the family
escutcheon. Having little inclination to work and a very moderate
earning power even when he did work, a small annuity which he received
was greatly appreciated by this scion of a lofty family. For a short
time after his quarterly allowance arrived, “Lafe” lived in luxury.
The Story of “Lafe” and the Livery Stable Man
A widely known hotel man of the community had as a side interest, a
small but well equipped livery stable, which in the days before the
automobile, was a handy source of income. On a certain sultry summer
day who should ramble into the livery stable but Lafe. The owner
happened to be at the office and Lafe negotiated with him for the use
of a horse and buggy, for a couple of hours. Knowing his man, the
proprietor suggested that he had better pay in advance, as he himself
might not be there when Lafe returned. This was but an agreeable detail
to the man who was just then in funds and he passed out the money
without any hesitation whatever, after which he took his seat in the
buggy which had been run out of the barn preparatory to harnessing the
horse to it.
As stated before, it was sultry and Lafe was not only oppressed by
the heat, but also by several drinks he had enjoyed shortly before.
He fell asleep. Therefore, when the horse was led out, it was decided
that he better be led back into the barn again for a time and await
developments. Lafe slumbered on, finally arousing himself just about
the time when the two hours were up that he had contracted for. The
livery stable man was not a trickster, but he greatly enjoyed a joke.
He informed Lafe that he had had his ride so far as he was concerned,
having occupied the buggy and having been in a position to use the
horse, if he so desired. Lafe saw the joke, and being a good loser he
promptly went away with a broad grin on his face, resolving to “get
even.” The livery stable man industriously spread the story which came
to Lafe’s ears quite frequently.
Some months afterwards the stable owner happened to be about sixty
miles away taking a train for home and behold there was Lafe, also
taking the train. The memory of that unenjoyed but paid for ride was
still lingering in Lafe’s mind, so he asked the practical joker if he
would not advance the money to pay his railroad fare.
“Why should you pay any railroad fares, when your cousin is a big owner
in the railroad?” was the reply. “You just tell the conductor who you
are and he will pass you without any ticket.”
“Will you back me up, if I do tell him?” asked Lafe.
“Certainly,” was the answer. “That will be all right.”
[Illustration: A SHADY DRIVE “DOWN EAST”]
Whereupon Lafe took his seat in the front end of the day coach, the
livery stable man being seated with a friend in the back part of the
same car. Enter the conductor. He approached Lafe, demanding a ticket.
Then followed a brief but animated conversation as a result of which
Lafe turned and made a signal to the man in the rear of the car, who
promptly nodded his head. The conductor therefore proceeded about his
duties, collecting fares from various passengers, until he approached
the livery man, who, stating his destination, handed him a mileage
book. The conductor took the book and promptly detached two fares
instead of one. When the owner of the mileage book asked the reason, he
was informed by the conductor that he had been told by the man down in
front that he would get his fare at the other end of the car and that
he had confirmed the arrangement.
It may be taken for granted that among the habitues of the hotel and
livery stable, the foregoing transactions were fully appreciated. Lafe
was temporarily a hero, and no one enjoyed the joke better than the
livery man did.
While it was regarded absolutely essential in small town life to be
able, in New England phrase, to “take a joke,” there was of course a
reasonable limit. A joke ceases to be a joke when there is any evidence
of ill nature or maliciousness back of it. Just where the dividing line
comes in of course varies with the circumstances.
* * * * *
In a certain rural town there was a young man whose tendency to
slow wit was counter-balanced by a very amiable disposition. It is
not surprising therefore that there should have been those who were
inclined to take advantage and subject him to ridicule. This was less
annoying to the victim of these jokes than to some of his friends.
The Man Who Wanted to Fight a Year Afterward
One election day, in early September, the amiable young man in
question, after depositing his ballot and going down the stairs from
the hall where the election was held, was intercepted by some local
clown who, taking him entirely off his guard, kicked him down the last
few steps of the stairway to the floor below, where he landed in a
very undignified attitude. With unruffled amiability the victim of
horse play scrambled to his feet, brushed the dust from his clothes,
and joined heartily in the empty laughter of the onlookers.
His close friends had not happened to witness this episode, but heard
of it before leaving the hall. On their way home they expressed
themselves very indignantly and asked the amiable victim why he
submitted to such abuse, assuring him that he could easily make short
work of the other man and there was no reason why he should put up with
any such treatment. This put the matter in an entirely new light to the
man who had shown such remarkable good nature a short time before. He
thought deeply and said nothing.
The year rolled around and another September found the same assemblage
at the town hall for the election. Everyone had forgotten the stairway
incident of the year before, with one exception, and that was the
victim. To the absolute amazement of all present, he hunted up his
astonished antagonist of the year before and it required the combined
efforts of all the young man’s friends to keep him from committing
serious assault on the joker. He was restrained with some difficulty
and taken to one side of the hall where his friends proceeded to
explain to him that his grievance was now outlawed.
* * * * *
The trademark has become no small factor in modern business. Its
imitation by rival firms is not only frowned upon as a breach of
ethics, but in most civilized or even semi-civilized countries, it is
illegal.
A Rural “Trademark”
There was one such violation, however, many years ago in a small town,
none of whose inhabitants perhaps had ever before heard of such a thing
as a “trademark” in its modern meaning.
One of the chief sources of income to farmers in that section was
butter-making. At that time all butter was put down in wooden tubs,
which were mostly hand made. An old growth spruce tree of good size and
of a certain grain would be sawed into right lengths. These would be
split with great care into staves. These in turn would be shaved down
as smoothly as possible, enclosed in ash hoops and fitted out with a
cover, the rim of which was likewise an ash hoop.
An old man who had become quite skillful in manufacturing these butter
packages, finally acquired such pride in his work that upon finishing
each tub he would take a soft lead pencil and write his initials in
large flourishing characters. As he was practically illiterate, his
monogram was all the more amusing to others.
These packages were not only supplied to certain farmers, but were
furnished to a nearby country store to be carried in stock. There were
other builders of hand-made butter tubs who were not so careful about
the finish of their articles.
One evening this creator of artistic butter tubs meandered to the
village store. A waggish individual who saw him there and enjoyed his
self-satisfied and expansive manner in the store, had one of those
bright ideas which so frequently afflict humanity. In the back room
of the store there were some butter packages manufactured by a rival
of the artist before mentioned. These tubs were a little more uncouth
in their getup than usual. The maker of this brand of packages had the
excellent taste not to identify himself with his completed product by
any monogram. Selecting one of the roughest looking of these packages,
the joker borrowed a pencil and soon produced a crude imitation of
the well known initials. He then walked into the inner store, handed
the butter tub to the rival manufacturer and asked him how he ever
had the face to put out such coarse looking work as that. The artist
indignantly denying any responsibility for the tub, or even knowledge
thereof, his attention was immediately called to the trademark on the
bottom.
This was the last straw and the creator of masterpieces in the
butter-tub making art, nearly produced a riot. He accused the
storekeeper of connivance and a gross fraud on the community and
threatened dire proceedings in other directions. The disgusted
proprietor of the store finally succeeded in explaining the matter.
The perpetrator of the joke slipped out of the store by the back way
and eventually the rumblings of wrath and outraged culture subsided.
* * * * *
It has been before stated that the satisfaction of living on fairly
amicable terms with one’s neighbors in a farming region tends to
develop not only much forbearance but diplomacy as well. This was
illustrated in a certain case where the bone of contention was a line
fence.
An Early Example of Camouflage
A certain man who lived on a small farm had a perfect mania for
lawsuits. This was not so uncommon in earlier days, as it was rather
in the line of policy of certain pettifogging lawyers to encourage
litigation.
Between his farm and the adjoining one there was a division fence
which seemed to be always falling to pieces. The man who lived on this
adjoining farm suspected that the cattle were not altogether to blame
for the frequent breaches in the fence. The cattle continued to come
over onto his land and he finally decided to devote one whole day, if
necessary, to watchful waiting. He therefore established himself in a
clump of bushes where he had a pretty good view of quite a stretch of
the fence, and not very long afterwards he saw the half grown son of
the belligerent neighbor approach the division line and loosen some of
the rails to such an extent that it would be an easy matter for the
cattle to get across.
The man on guard was puzzled for a moment just what to do, but realized
the importance of avoiding hostilities with his neighbor, if it were
possible. Finally he had an inspiration.
The boy who had done the mischief was well known in the neighborhood as
somewhat defective mentally. Hastily removing his old coat, which had a
very dilapidated lining, the resourceful observer turned it inside out
and again put it on, dragging his old felt hat down over his eyes. Next
he rubbed a handful of black dirt over his face, after which with blood
curdling yells, he started down the hills toward the boy. One glimpse
was enough for the youngster who fled to the house panic stricken.
A little later on the diplomatist, resuming his normal appearance,
apparently happened along in a leisurely way, repaired the fence and
went home.
By a perhaps not unexplainable coincidence, the cattle remained on
their own side of the fence thereafter.
“Noah Built the Ark”
In another locality there were four brothers whose personal traits
were so markedly individual as to make the family stand out somewhat
prominently in the community. All these amiable peculiarities were of
course thoroughly understood by the local inhabitants. First one of the
brothers and then another would figure in some transaction in a way to
bring out the same family characteristic.
The oldest one of the four brothers bore the biblical name of Noah, and
was a carpenter. Another brother often assisted him at the same trade.
Still another brother was a farmer, while the fourth had no settled
occupation.
These amusing details of the various activities of these brothers
finally inspired a local humorist to sum up the doings of the four in
the following luminous example of rural verse:
“Noah built the Ark,
Seth laid the floor,
Jim drove the geese in,
And Tom shut the door.”