THE ROAD TO ROME
"Behold, one journeyed in the night.
He sang amid the wind and rain;
My wet sands gave his feet delight--
When will that traveler come again?"
--_The Heart of the Road_,
ANNA HEMPSTEAD BRANCH.
A hypotenuse, as has been well said, is the longest side of a
right-angled triangle. There is no need for details. That we are
all familiar with the use of this handy little article is shown by
the existence of shortcuts at every available opportunity, and by
keep-off-o'-the-grass signs in parks.
Now, had Jeff Bransford desired to go to Arcadia--to that masquerade,
for instance--his direct route from Jackson's Ranch would have been
cater-cornered across the desert, as has been amply demonstrated by
Pythagoras and others.
That Jeff did not want to go to Arcadia--to the masked ball, for
instance--is made apparent by the fact that the afternoon preceding
said ball saw him jogging southward toward Baird's, along the lonely
base of that inveterate triangle whereof Jackson's, Baird's and
Arcadia are the respective corners, leaving the fifty-five-mile
hypotenuse far to his left. It was also obvious from the tenor of his
occasional self-communings.
"I don't want to make a bally fool of myself--do I, old Grasshopper?
Anyhow, you'll be too tired when we get to 'Gene's."
Grasshopper made no response, other than a plucky tossing of his bit
and a quickening cadence in his rhythmical stride, by way of pardonable
bravado.
"I never forced myself in where my company wasn't wanted yet, and I
ain't going to begin now," asserted Jeff stoutly; adding, as a fervent
afterthought: "Damn Lake!"
His way lay along the plain, paralleling the long westward range,
just far enough out to dodge the jutting foothills; through bare
white levels where Grasshopper's hoofs left but a faint trace on the
hard-glazed earth. At intervals, tempting cross-roads branched away
to mountain springs. The cottonwood at Independent Springs came into
view round the granite shoulder of Strawberry, six miles to the right
of him. He roused himself from prolonged pondering of the marvelous
silhouette, where San Andres unflung in broken masses against the sky,
to remark in a hushed whisper:
"I wonder if she'd be glad to see me?"
Several miles later he quoted musingly:
"For Ellinor--her Christian name was Ellinor--
Had twenty-seven different kinds of hell in her!"
After all, there are problems which Pythagoras never solved.
The longest road must have an end. Ritch's Ranch was passed far to
the right, lying low in the long shadow of Kaylor; then the mouth of
Hembrillo Cañon; far ahead, a shifting flicker of Baird's windmill
topped the brush. It grew taller; the upper tower took shape. He dipped
into the low, mirage-haunted basin, where the age-old Texas Trail
crosses the narrow western corner of the White Sands. When he emerged
the windmill was tall and silver-shining; the low iron roofs of the
house gloomed sullen in the sun.
Dust rose from the corral. Now Jeff's ostensible errand to the
West Side had been the search for strays; three days before he had
prudently been three days' ride farther to the north. The reluctance
with which he had turned back southward was justified by the fact
that this critical afternoon found him within striking distance of
Arcadia--striking distance, that is, should he care for a bit of hard
riding. This was exactly what Jeff had fought against all along. So,
when he saw the dust, he loped up.
It was as he had feared. A band of horses was in the waterpen;
among them a red-roan head he knew--Copperhead, of Pringle's mount;
confirmed runaway. Jeff shut the gate. For the first time that day, he
permitted himself a discreet glance eastward to Arcadia.
"Three days," he said bitterly, while Grasshopper thrust his eager
muzzle into the water-trough--"three days I have braced back my feet
and slid, like a yearlin' at a brandin' bee--and look at me now! Oh,
Copperhead, you darned old fool, see what you done now!"
In this morose mood he went to the house. There was no one at home. A
note was tacked on the door.
Gone to Plomo. Back in two or three days. Beef hangs under platform
on windmill tower. When you get it, oil the mill. Books and deck of
cards in box under bed. Don't leave fire in stove when you go.
GENE BAIRD.
N. B.--Feed the cat.
Jeff built a fire in the stove and unsaddled the weary Grasshopper.
He found some corn, which he put into a woven-grass _morral_ and hung
on Grasshopper's nose. He went to the waterpen, roped out Copperhead
and shut him in a side corral. Then he let the bunch go. They strained
through the gate in a mad run, despite shrill and frantic remonstrance
from Copperhead.
"Jeff," said Jeff soberly, "are you going to be a damned fool all your
life? That girl doesn't care anything about you. She hasn't thought of
you since. You stay right here and read the pretty books. That's the
place for you."
This advice was sound and wise beyond cavil. So Jeff took it valiantly.
After supper he hobbled Grasshopper and took off the nosebag. Then he
went to the back room in pursuit of literature.
* * * * *
Have I leave for a slight digression, to commit a long-delayed act of
justice--to correct a grievous wrong? Thank you.
We hear much of Mr. Andrew Carnegie and His Libraries, the Hall
of Fame, the Little Red Schoolhouse, the Five-Foot Shelf, and the
World's Best Books. A singular thing is that the most effective bit
of philanthropy along these lines has gone unrecorded of a thankless
world. This shall no longer be.
Know, then, that once upon a time a certain soulless corporation,
rather in the tobacco trade, placed in each package of tobacco a
coupon, each coupon redeemable by one paper-bound book. Whether they
were moved by remorse to this action or by sordid hidden purposes
of their own, or, again, by pure, disinterested and farseeing love
of their kind, is not yet known; but the results remain. There
were three hundred and three volumes on that list, mostly--but not
altogether--fiction. And each one was a classic. Classics are cheap.
They are not copyrighted. Could I but know the anonymous benefactor
who enrolled that glorious company, how gladly would I drop a leaf on
his bier or a cherry in his bitters!
Thus it was that, in one brief decade, the cowboys, with others, became
comparatively literate. Cowboys all smoked. Doubtless that was a chief
cause contributory to making them the wrecks they were. It destroyed
their physique; it corroded and ate away their will power--leaving them
seldom able to work over nineteen hours a day, except in emergencies;
prone to abandon duty in the face of difficulty or danger, when human
effort, raised to the _n_th power, could do no more--all things
considered, the most efficient men of their hands on record.
Cowboys all smoked: and the most deep-seated instinct of the human race
is to get something for nothing. They got those books. In due course of
time they read those books. Some were slow to take to it; but when you
stay at lonely ranches, when you are left afoot until the waterholes
dry up, so you may catch a horse in the waterpen--why, you must do
something. The books were read. Then, having acquired the habit,
they bought more books. Since the three hundred and three were all
real books, and since the cowboys had been previously uncorrupted of
predigested or sterilized fiction, or by "gift," "uplift" and "helpful"
books, their composite taste had become surprisingly good, and they
bought with discriminating care. Nay, more. A bookcase follows books; a
bookcase demands a house; a house needs a keeper; a housekeeper needs
everything. Hence alfalfa--houseplants--slotless tables--bankbooks.
The chain which began with yellow coupons ends with Christmas trees.
In some proudest niche in the Hall of Fame a grateful nation will yet
honor that hitherto unrecognized educator, Front de Bœuf.[1]
[Footnote 1: "_Bull Durham._"]
* * * * *
Jeff pawed over the tattered yellow-backed volumes in profane
discontent. He had read them all. Another box was under the bed, behind
the first. Opening it, he saw a tangled mass of clothing, tumbled in
the bachelor manner; with the rest, a much-used football outfit--canvas
jacket, sweater, padded trousers, woolen stockings, rubber noseguard,
shinguards, ribbed shoes--all complete; for 'Gene Baird was fullback of
the El Paso eleven.
Jeff segregated the gridiron wardrobe with hasty hands. His eye
brightened; he spoke in an awed and almost reverent voice.
"I ain't mostly superstitious, but this looks like a leading. First,
I'm here; second, Copperhead's here; third, no one else is here; and,
for the final miracle, here's a costume made to my hand. Thirty-five
miles. Ten o'clock, if I hurry. H'm! 'When first I put this uniform
on'--how did that go? I'm forgetting all my songs. Getting old, I
guess."
Rejecting the heavy shoes, as unmeet for waxed floors, and the
shinguards, he rolled the rest of the uniform in his slicker and tied
it behind his saddle. Then he rubbed his chin.
"Huh! That's a true saying, too. I am getting old. Youth turns to
youth. Buck up, Jeff, you old fool! Have some pride about you and just
a little old horse-sense."
Yet he unhobbled Grasshopper, who might then be trusted to find his way
to Rainbow in about three days. He went to the corral and tossed a rope
on snorting Copperhead. "No; I won't go!" he said, as he slipped on the
bridle. "Just to uncock old Copperhead, I'll make a little horse-ride
to Hospital Springs and look through the stock." He threw on the saddle
with some difficulty--Copperhead was fat and frisky. "She don't want to
see you, Jeff--an old has-been like you! No, no; I'd better not go. I
won't! There, if I didn't leave that football stuff on the saddle! I'll
take it off. It might get lost. Whoa, Copperhead!"
Copperhead, however, declined to whoa on any terms. His eyes bulged
out; he reared, he pawed, he snorted, he bucked, he squealed, he did
anything but whoa. Exasperated, Jeff caught the bridle by the cheek
piece and swung into the saddle. After a few preliminaries in the
pitching line, Jeff started bravely for Hospital Springs.
It was destined that this act of renunciation should be thwarted.
Copperhead stopped and dug his feet in the ground as if about to take
root. Jeff dug the spurs home. With an agonized bawl, Copperhead made a
creditable ascension, shook himself and swapped ends before he hit the
ground again. "_Wooh!_" he said. His nose was headed now for Arcadia;
he followed his nose, his roan flanks fanned vigorously with a doubled
rope.
"Headstrong, stubborn, unmanageable brute! Oh, well, have it your own
way then, you old fool! You'll be sorry!" Copperhead leaped out to the
loosened rein. "This is just plain kidnapping!" said Jeff.
Kidnapped and kidnapper were far out on the plain as night came on.
Arcadia road stretched dimly to the east; the far lights of La Luz
flashed through the leftward dusk; straight before them was a glint
and sparkle in the sky, faint, diffused, wavering; beyond, a warm and
mellow glow broke the blackness of the mountain wall, where the lights
of low-hidden Arcadia beat up against Rainbow Rim.
Jeff was past his first vexation; he sang as he rode:
"There was ink on her thumb when I kissed her hand,
And she whispered: 'If you should die
I'd write you an epitaph, gloomy and grand!'
'Time enough for that!' says I.
"Keep a-movin here, Copperhead! Time fugits right along. You will play
hooky, will you? 'I'm going to be a horse!'"