Politics
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But Marian did mind, and for once Cleary was mistaken. She was
delighted at the prominence which Sam had achieved, and saw him
mentioned as a candidate for President with pride and gratification,
but she did not see how that excused his promiscuous osculation of the
female population of the country, and she determined that it should
cease. She wrote to him frequently and decidedly on the subject, and he
reported her protests to Cleary, who absolutely refused to allow them.
"It won't do," said he, as they discussed the subject at a hotel in a
small city on their line of progress. "This kissing is your strong
point. _The Lyre_ is backing you up on the strength of it. So is the
Benevolent Assimilation Trust, Limited. In every city and town the
girls have turned out, and you've captured them hands down. If you stop
now it will upset the whole business. The Convention delegates are
coming out for you by the dozen. Our committee is working it up so that
it will be nearly unanimous. There won't be another serious candidate,
and I doubt if they put anybody up against you when you're nominated.
You're as good as President now, but you must go on kissing. That's all
there is of it."
Sam wrote to Marian rehearsing these arguments, and he got Cleary to
write too, but the letters had no effect. At last he received a
telegram from her announcing her intention of meeting him at St. Lewis.
She reached that city before him and was present at the station when he
arrived, altho he did not know it, and from a good point of vantage
she saw him kissing the young ladies of that city by wholesale to an
accompaniment of "Captain Jinks." It was more than she could stand, and
when she joined her _fiance_ at the hotel the meeting was very
different from the one he had so often pictured to himself. It was a
stormy scene, intermixed with tender episodes, but she gave it as her
ultimatum that the kissing must cease forthwith, and, in order to give
a good reason for it, she insisted that they be married at once. Sam
was willing to take this course, and Cleary was called into their
counsels. At first he bitterly opposed the project, but Marian's
blandishments finally succeeded, and she gained him as an ally. He was
sent as an emissary to the campaign committee and presented the case as
strongly as he could for her. The proposition really seemed most
plausible. Could anything help the chances of a candidate more than his
marriage to a handsome young woman? The committee had doubts on the
subject and waited in person on Miss Hunter, but she persuaded them as
she had persuaded Cleary, and furthermore convinced them that whether
they were persuaded or not the marriage would take place. Marian
determined to fix the hour for the next day. She pledged the committee
to secrecy, and no word of the proposed wedding got into the papers. At
noon a clergyman was called into the hotel, and in Sam's private
sitting-room the pair were married with Cleary and a few of the members
of the committee as witnesses. Almost before the ceremony was over they
could hear the newsboys crying out the tidings of the event.
"It's out of the question to talk about a wedding-tour," said Sam,
after the ceremony. "I can't walk in the streets alone without being
mobbed, and with Marian we could not keep the clothes on our backs.
Just hear them singing 'Captain Jinks' now!"
"Mark my words, dear," said his wife. "You will see when we get the
papers to-morrow with the news of our marriage, that it has made you
more popular than ever. Now send out word to the reporters that you
will not do any more public kissing."
In obedience to these orders Cleary, acting as go-between, conveyed the
information as gently as he could to the representatives of the press,
that as a married man General Jinks expected to be spared the ordeal of
embracing all the young ladies of the country.
No one was prepared for the striking effect which this news, coupled
with that of the marriage, had upon the newspapers and their readers.
The first papers which Sam and his wife saw on the following morning
were those of St. Lewis. They expressed sorrow at the fact that Captain
Jinks had taken such a resolution when only a handful of the fair women
of St. Lewis had had the opportunity of saluting him. Were they less
beautiful and attractive than the ladies of St. Kisco who had kissed
him to their hearts' content? Marian was visibly annoyed when she saw
these articles, but she advised her husband to wait till they received
the papers from other cities. These journals came, but, alas! they went
rapidly from bad to worse. The Eastern papers with scarcely an
exception took up the strain of those of St. Lewis. Why did Captain
Jinks discriminate against the women of the East? He had kissed the
whole West. Probably he had also kissed all the women of the Cubapines
and Porsslania. It was only the women of the East that he could not
find heart to salute in the same way. Here was a hero indeed, who
insulted one-half of his own nation! It might have been expected that
the Western press would have come to Sam's support, but they did not.
They accused him of gross deception in not announcing that he had been
from the first engaged to be married. Their young women had been
fraudulently induced to kiss lips which had already been monopolized,
but which they had been led to believe to be as free as the air of
heaven. Black indeed must be the soul of a man who could stoop to such
deception! As the days went on the public became more excited and the
attacks more ferocious. It was rumored that his _fiancee_ had married
him against his will, that she was a virago and a termagant. Would the
country be contented to see the Executive Mansion ruled by petticoats,
and by those of a hussy at that? What sort of a hero was the man who
could be ordered about by a woman and could not call his soul his own?
Then they began to overhaul his record. Was he really the hero of San
Diego? Was it not the mistakes of Gomaldo which caused his defeat? Was
it not true that the boasted subjugation of the Moritos was brought
about by the superstitious fear of the savages inspired by the figures
tattooed on the captain's body? And the capture of Gomaldo, was it
anything but a green-goods game on a large scale? What, too, was the
burning of the great White Temple but an act of vandalism? And as for
the friendship and praise of the Emperor, who was the Emperor, anyway,
but an effete product of an exhausted civilization? Then had not
Captain Jinks opposed the promotion of men from the ranks? What sort of
a democrat was this? Sam felt these thrusts keenly. He had had no idea
of the fickleness of the people, and it was hard to believe that in a
single day they had ceased to adore him and begun to revile him; and
yet such was the case. Marian was also overcome with mortification, and
she heaped reproaches upon him for their forlorn condition. Cleary
proved himself to be a stanch friend.
"It's too bad, old man," he said. "It'll blow over, but you'll have to
withdraw a while for repairs. The bottom has dropped out of your boom,
and of course you can't be a candidate for President. Let's go quietly
home. I'll go along with you. _The Lyre_ has had to drop you for the
time. _Scribblers'_ has sent back the first article I wrote for you,
and they say your name has lost its commercial value. I've seen Jonas.
He's here to make sure of a friendly candidate, and he says you're out
of the question. He's doing well, I tell you. I asked him how it paid
to run a war for half a million a day and get a trade in return of a
few millions a year? 'It's the people pay for the war and we get the
trade,' said he. He'd like to have you President to help them along,
but he says it won't be possible. It's a shame. You'd have run so well,
if----Your platform of 'Old Gory, the Army and Navy,' would have swept
everything before it. But never mind. We'll try it again some day. I
suppose your luck couldn't hold out forever."
"Thanks, my dear Cleary," said Sam, grasping his hand. "You've been a
true friend. I don't think it makes much difference. I am a sick man,
and I must go home as soon as I can."